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Wedding Etiquette Forum
knottiea80c13881918e885
member
Estranged aunt invite
Not really sure to post this maybe invitations, but it is hardly about that. I am torn about this situation with my aunt/god mother. My aunt who I love so much is an addict and has torn the family apart with her antics and broken my grandmothers heart. I don't want to get into it but I am not sure if I should invite her to the wedding. I would love to if she was CLEAN, but sadly that is not the case. My wedding is an open bar and I can't risk her causing a scene or doing something to endanger herself or somebody. It could be a mess and stir up so much family drama and fights, plus I don't want my beloved grandmother to be put in an uncomfortable position. I have a pretty large and tight nit family, but she hasn't been in it for years, she is not talking to anybody bc she thinks we are against her for wanting to get her sober. My cousin recently got married and he decided not to invite her due to the drama and pain she caused. I love her dearly, but I also don't even recognize her when she is like this. My invites are going out soon and I ask my mom what she thinks would be best for everyone, and she thinks I should wait and see till I send the invites out and if she is SOBER than send her one and call her. The worst part is my cousins are invited (her kids), they went to my other cousins wedding and had no problem with her not being present. Frankly they are sick of her antics too, so I think they would understand. I want to be hopeful, but it is so akward. I wish she can just be herself and not have to be drunk/high, but I can't risk that.
Re: Estranged aunt invite
This seems pretty clear cut to me.
This is ONE guest. ONE. You could literally wait until a week before your wedding. If she is involved in a program and fighting her illness, invite her. If the current scenario remains, then don't. If you truly love her dearly, take a chance on her and pay for her plate regardless of invitation.
My "internet vigilantism" got the best of me today ;-/
***Disclaimer...…..my eyes are 100% dilated ATM, so apologies if I am reading the wrong Knottie #!! But......I did double check with my double vision LOL
I didn't want to (we were paying and I didn't want the stress), but D said, "I have no quarrel with Uncle ___. He has never hurt me, and I'd like to invite all of my family members." So we thought about it, talked to others, and in the end, we did invite him and the very nice woman he is currently living with.
They came and he behaved himself. I think you have to decide if this is a possibility with your aunt. My brother doesn't get violent, just super loud and fast-talking and back-slapping and well, bro-like. Then he eventually drinks to the point of passing out. But if your aunt causes fights and really bad drama, I think I'd leave her off the list.
ETA: we also had an open bar, but it was a brunch wedding, and people do tend to drink less at those.
I can! Pick me!
No need to feel bad or pray for us. You're the one that came back here and lied about your account being hacked in a misguided effort to smooth things over. Why did you come back here for advice anyway if what we offered previously was so off base?
Don't pray for me, pray for my husband. That poor guy has dealt with me and my apparent excessive hate for twelve years.
Edited for typo.
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