Let me first explain the situation: I'm the bride here, 1 month before my wedding. Our wedding is set in a foreign country since I was immigrated to US when I was teenager and I pretty much raised by my grandmothers back in my hometown. They are both too old to travel. My fiance know how important it is for them to attend our wedding, especially for me, so he proposed we have the wedding in my hometown and his groomsmen and family travel back.
4 of my bridesmaids are my high school friends, 1 is my fiance's sister. They are all happily planned the trip for me. My original MOH decided to bail out once I told her I can't afford to pay her luxury international airfare. I offered half of it and even offered to pay economy round trip, she still wouldn't agree on the terms and made up some obvious lies to ask be eliminated from the bridal party (Rest of the group all planned with their own money). Last time we talked she said she won't attend my bachelorette party nor my wedding cause "it's too awkward for her" . We haven't spoke since. I had to act tough up cause I have a wedding to plan but deep inside I was really hurt for what happened. More like a reality slap over a one-sided "friendship"...
Ever since then I was going through a lot of self doubt and stress over this coming up wedding. Long story short I never had the nerve to ask for another MOH, I kind of take it on my shoulder and started to plan this wedding with my fiance and a wedding planner overseas, means I always have to stay up late to accomodate the time differences, my fiance helped a lot but he still has language issues so mainly the pressure was on me. My bridal shower was hosted by my fiance's sister and mother. I wasn't even thinking to throw a bachelorette party because I was too exhausted.
Few weeks ago my fiance got a little stressed since his best man's wife is pregnant and due day is just two days before our wedding hence he won't be joining us. A lot of our friends won't be joining us overseas for the wedding. So I asked if he wants to do a combined bachelor and bachelorette party and take it as a mini wedding just between good friends. We asked people to save the date of this coming weekend to a wine country getaway, approximately 20 people confirmed.
We've booked a large nice house through airbnb for the weekend. I planned to take my girlfriends out on a wine tasting trip and Sunday on the way back for a hot spring spa day, rest of the time both of our friends will stay at the house for pool party, BBQ and some indoor games together.
We've never mentioned money to everyone since both of us feel bad to ask bridal party to pay more on top of their international travel, suits/dress, and all the efforts to make to the wedding. Yesterday I finally decided to ask one of my bridesmaid to be my MOH and she happily accepted and told me she'd more than happy to pay her share to the bachelorette party.
So far we've spend $3000+ on the house and around $1000 for food and drinks, not counting $800 wine tasting and another $600 on spa. I asked my fiance what he thinks and he said it will be nice if people can chip in on the food, and have the girls pay their own entrance tickets on the wine and spa.
It's literally one day before the actual party. I thought maybe we can make a little sign asking people to contribute for food and leave a box in the house, so people can put in whatever amount they feel like so, maybe a signage with venmo account or paypal?
I don't know if that's reasonable or to tacky? And that means I'd have to break the ice to the girls and ask them to pay their wine and spa pretty much on the day of the event, I feel bad. Again, not well planned, again, more stressful...
Sorry for the long essay LOL I kinna just went on and on. Financially our original budget covered the whole oversea wedding, this party is out of the budget and we are actually taking a hit (but not broke since we saved and saved over the years). But because of all these situations I explained, and emotionally I just don't want deal with friends with sad faces with money anymore.
Is this donation board doable?