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Wedding Woes

In what world...

Dear Prudence,

My significant other died six months ago from a long-term illness. In our 25 years together, we had a 25-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son. During that time, he had an illegitimate son who is also 21 years old, just a few months older than our son. I didn’t even meet this son until he was 15. After my significant other’s death, he began living with me and my son. About a month ago, I developed a sexual relationship with my significant other’s son. My children have now disowned me, calling the relationship disgusting, a poor decision, and inappropriate. The way I see it, other than the age gap of 25 years, we are both single, both adults, we are not related, I didn’t raise him, I didn’t even meet him until he was 15 years old, and I was never actually married to his dad, therefore I was never his actual stepmom. Do you think my children are correct in their perception of this relationship, and if so, for what reasons?

—Sexual Relationship With “Stepson”

Re: In what world...

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Other than the age gap and that he may bear a striking resemblance to the father of your other two children, that he's biologically related to your other two children and that you call this new boyfriend an "illegitimate" son yeah you're right it's fine. 
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    just yes.

  • Clearly fake
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This letter really jumped the shark. 

  • It sounds like this is some serious misplaced grief going on.  Because the stepson never lived with them until AFTER the dad passed away.  And then the relationship began almost immediately.

    And her "qualifiers"?  OMG.  "I didn't meet him until he was 15"...okay, so still a child.  "I was never married to my SO, so I'm not REALLY his stepmother", smh.  Like a 25-year relationship, whether people are married or not, is something super casual and "doesn't count".  Yeah, LW, you were his stepmother after you met him for TEN years.

    There is a fantastic movie made in China called "Curse of the Golden Flower".  The costuming is unbelievable and I think won an Academy Award for that.  At any rate, this subject is exactly what the movie is about.  The Empress is having an affair with her oldest stepson.  The Emperor knows/finds out, pretends he doesn't, and exacts some interesting twists to get revenge. 
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  • Like @short+sassy  said .... seriously misplaced grief.
    Step away from the "step son" and seek therapy. You may realize the situation differently.
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Hey - Mrs. Robinson...  
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  • Do I think this letter is fake or do I just desperately want it to be fake? 

    Also, her defenses sound an awful lot like the ones Woody Allen used when questioned about his relationship with Soon Yi Previn. I'm just saying.
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    TF did I just read????
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Where's Petyr Baelish to give advice on this sort of topic?

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