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Going to the courthouse and still having a ceremony

knottieb030d871358f2235knottieb030d871358f2235 member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
So we plan on going to the courthouse before the official wedding date so that I can get better health insurance (I know..so romantic).  But we’re still having a ceremony and I want my aunt to officiate us. However, does she legally have to get ordained if we’re already married?

Thanks for any advice!
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Re: Going to the courthouse and still having a ceremony

  • levioosalevioosa member
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    climbingwife said:
    knottieb030d871358f2235 said:
    So we plan on going to the courthouse before the official wedding date so that I can get better health insurance (I know..so romantic).  But we’re still having a ceremony and I want my aunt to officiate us. However, does she legally have to get ordained if we’re already married?

    Thanks for any advice!
    First, the date you get married at the courthouse is your wedding date. This other
    "ceremony" you're having is not real, as you'll already be married. Whoever you decide to have perform this fake ceremony obviously doesn't have to be ordained. 

    Again, your legal and binding ceremony is at the courthouse. That's your wedding. 
    Ditto this


    image
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  • InLoveInQueensInLoveInQueens member
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    knottieb030d871358f2235 said:
    So we plan on going to the courthouse before the official wedding date so that I can get better health insurance (I know..so romantic).  But we’re still having a ceremony and I want my aunt to officiate us. However, does she legally have to get ordained if we’re already married?

    Thanks for any advice!
    No, you don't need anyone who is ordained to "officiate" your dress up pretend play party. And your "official wedding date" is the day you get married at the courthouse, not whenever you put on your performance.
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    Echoing PP's.  If it's not a legal ceremony (which it would not be) you don't need a legal officiant.  And please make sure that people know they will be attending a re-enactment or vow renewal and not an actual wedding, it's rude and deceitful to lie to your guests. 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    As others have said, your official wedding date is the date you legally wed at the courthouse.  How far apart will your wedding date be from your second event?  You could send out invitations for a wedding celebration acknowledging your recent wedding at the courthouse.  If there is a year or more between dates, you could even call it a vow renewal or vow witnessing event.  Just please do not call it a wedding, because you will already be a spouse.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    If you go to the courthouse, that's your official wedding date. That's the day you're getting married.

    Your aunt can stand up and reenact your vows or do a vow renewal or whatever, but that's not a wedding. So no, she doesn't need any kind of legal power, since she won't be marrying you. She's not really an officiant, since there's no wedding to officiate. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    I'll echo the others.   If your aunt isn't performing a legally binding marriage then you can have her or a Disney princess standing before you and your H.    

    Based on this I urge you both to be honest with anyone who is asked to participate in or be invited to the occasion so they understand that they're witnessing a vow renewal and not a wedding. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    Your PPD is not your wedding day if you get married at the Courthouse on a different day, thus, your aunt can dress as Willy Wonka and have you recite your vows it'll be equally as fake.  

    As others have mentioned, be honest with your guests that your PPD is NOT your actual wedding!  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    MesmrEwe said:
    Your PPD is not your wedding day if you get married at the Courthouse on a different day, thus, your aunt can dress as Willy Wonka and have you recite your vows it'll be equally as fake.  

    As others have mentioned, be honest with your guests that your PPD is NOT your actual wedding!  
    But can I have a re-do now because of the idea you gave me?  A small stream of chocolate sauce.  I walk over a bridge spanning it to get to the altar.  My officiant is dressed like Willy Wonka.  And, of course, there is a huge candy table at the reception.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • knottie7b6bec4da2895f88knottie7b6bec4da2895f88 member
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    We are doing the same, and since the ceremony is after the legal wedding then anyone can do it, it is not a "real" wedding. We are actually planning on having a wedding every year. 
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  • knottie8607d0b125d0dcbfknottie8607d0b125d0dcbf member
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    Dear reader. If you casually landed on this old thread from a top google search (like I did) and you don’t belong to this community, note that most replies here tend to be outdated and judgmental, there’s more positive and diverse points of view elsewhere.

    [Most likely you will see a comment about not replying to old posts below this, and this thread will be closed.]
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  • geebee908geebee908 member
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    knottie8607d0b125d0dcbf said:
    Dear reader. If you casually landed on this old thread from a top google search (like I did) and you don’t belong to this community, note that most replies here tend to be outdated and judgmental, there’s more positive and diverse points of view elsewhere.

    [Most likely you will see a comment about not replying to old posts below this, and this thread will be closed.]
    I'm sorry, I didn't see where you cited your credentials making you an expert on the etiquette of weddings in your post. Not lying to your family and friends about your marital status still seems like a valid rule not to break to me.
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  • knottie4a473c8e1c15731cknottie4a473c8e1c15731c member
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    Wow, just came across this thread and some people are so mean. The OP didn't even suggest that she/they were lying to friends about the wedding celebration. She just asked if it was still required that the officiate be a licensed one.

    I don't know why certain posts aren't taken down for essentially bullying, especially the one saying, "... your dress up pretend play party." Are you that disgustingly rude in person too? Is it really THAT serious--especially when you assumed the OP's intentions? 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    knottie4a473c8e1c15731c said:
    Wow, just came across this thread and some people are so mean. The OP didn't even suggest that she/they were lying to friends about the wedding celebration. She just asked if it was still required that the officiate be a licensed one.

    I don't know why certain posts aren't taken down for essentially bullying, especially the one saying, "... your dress up pretend play party." Are you that disgustingly rude in person too? Is it really THAT serious--especially when you assumed the OP's intentions? 

    Welcome to The Knot.  Please check the date of the first post, as well as the date of the last comment.  This post began almost 3 YEARS ago. 
    People post questions on this forum for advice from those who have experience.  Experience says you do not get married and then have a ceremony and call it the "official wedding date", because it is not.  Honesty is not "mean", the facts are being stated.  There is also a BIG difference between bullying and posts someone finds to be offensive, sarcastic, or rude.  There was no bullying.
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