Dear Prudence,
I said yes to attending a close friend’s hen party but was then later asked to stump up for an Airbnb and flights to Paris from our home in the U.K. This weekend trip is now costing me a lot to go to one of the busiest cities in the world. It’s also a total secret from the bride, who has no idea where we’re going. All of this would have been stressful regardless, but it’s also happening a week before I submit my Ph.D. thesis and three weeks before my own wedding. (I decided not to have a hen party of my own.) I feel like a fool for saying yes to an expensive holiday to a place I don’t care to visit. I know I have no one to blame but myself, but I’m getting to an age when a lot of friends are getting married. What can I do next time I’m asked to attend a hen party I don’t want to go to? It’s usually someone I’m very close to, and I really don’t want to make anyone feel awkward by saying, “I haven’t got enough money, and even if I did I would not want to go on this trip.” But I haven’t got enough money, and I do not want to go on this trip, and I’m expecting that this issue will arise again in the near future.