Dear Prudence,
When my now-wife and I got engaged, the mother of a longtime friend enthusiastically offered to make my wedding outfit. She took my measurements a year out, I offered to pay several times, and I said thank you at every opportunity. She shipped the outfit the day before the wedding, so I never had a chance to try it on in advance. I put it on the day of my wedding and in the rush didn’t realize that it did not fit until after the ceremony. I had a very loose, deep neckline, and my nipples kept falling out. The seam at the seat also busted. My wife had to physically hold the outfit together for me during our first dance.
The outfit-maker attended the wedding and saw everything (along with my whole family). I wrote a thank-you note and offered one last time to pay. I’m a pretty relaxed person, but I’m mortified to know that several hundred of our nearest and dearest saw me half-naked in a way I absolutely did not want or plan for. My parents have mentioned it since the wedding, and while normally I feel very confident in defending choices they don’t agree with, this was not my choice! I’m also upset that my friend’s mom half-assed something so special to me in a way that gave me no way to back out. Any advice for what to say next time a family member mentions my unintentional flashing at my wedding? I’m fine defending life choices they don’t agree with but have a harder time when it’s something I don’t agree with either.
—Accidental Wedding Flasher