No Monday?

banana468 · December 2019

STARMOON44 said:

banana468 said:

climbingwife said:

short+sassy said:

--------------------------

The evicted tenant who was supposed to have been out yesterday, is not. It was looking good because she wasn't avoiding contact. She was replying to my texts. All that good stuff. She even called me and apologized. That she was upset she'd let me down and now needed to move out, but understood. She thanked me for how much I'd worked with her. With the bottom line being that she only had two more trips to her storage unit, but had gotten the big stuff out. I had already offered...when it sounded like she'd made lots of progress but it was getting late in the evening...that if she wanted to take through tomorrow morning (meaning today), that would be okay. As long as it was before noon.

At first she said, thanks but no, she wanted to finish up and had to work tomorrow (today) anyway. But then, when she called, she said she would get up early to finish before she went to work.

So, my H gets there at about noon. When she's supposed to be all done and at work. SMH. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies and more lies. She was there, she wasn't at work. All her furniture was still there. He said he doesn't know what she might have moved, but it sure didn't look like she was in the middle of moving. No boxes lying around. No piles of stuff ready to be taken out. She told him she would be out by 2PM. He told her he'd be back at 3PM, but said there was no way she'd be done.

Holy fuck. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am! I mean, at this point, why is she even lying about moving her stuff out!?!? Holy shit.

Is this just her pathology? Does she even have a side business selling pralines?

Based on the frequency of the lies is it possible that she is simply not capable of telling the truth but IS instead someone who lies enough that she herself believes it and by doing so convinces others?

Eh, I tend to think she’s in over her head, can’t afford her rent, and buying herself as much time as she can before she starts couch hopping with friends. Not pathological, just poor.

Poor people who cannot tell the truth while also losing their home are more than poor. This is a repeated pattern of behavior and it may not be due to a pathology but it's beyond a lack of finances.

STARMOON44 · December 2019

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

banana468 said:

climbingwife said:

short+sassy said:

--------------------------

The evicted tenant who was supposed to have been out yesterday, is not. It was looking good because she wasn't avoiding contact. She was replying to my texts. All that good stuff. She even called me and apologized. That she was upset she'd let me down and now needed to move out, but understood. She thanked me for how much I'd worked with her. With the bottom line being that she only had two more trips to her storage unit, but had gotten the big stuff out. I had already offered...when it sounded like she'd made lots of progress but it was getting late in the evening...that if she wanted to take through tomorrow morning (meaning today), that would be okay. As long as it was before noon.

At first she said, thanks but no, she wanted to finish up and had to work tomorrow (today) anyway. But then, when she called, she said she would get up early to finish before she went to work.

So, my H gets there at about noon. When she's supposed to be all done and at work. SMH. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies and more lies. She was there, she wasn't at work. All her furniture was still there. He said he doesn't know what she might have moved, but it sure didn't look like she was in the middle of moving. No boxes lying around. No piles of stuff ready to be taken out. She told him she would be out by 2PM. He told her he'd be back at 3PM, but said there was no way she'd be done.

Holy fuck. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am! I mean, at this point, why is she even lying about moving her stuff out!?!? Holy shit.

Is this just her pathology? Does she even have a side business selling pralines?

Based on the frequency of the lies is it possible that she is simply not capable of telling the truth but IS instead someone who lies enough that she herself believes it and by doing so convinces others?

Eh, I tend to think she’s in over her head, can’t afford her rent, and buying herself as much time as she can before she starts couch hopping with friends. Not pathological, just poor.

Poor people who cannot tell the truth while also losing their home are more than poor. This is a repeated pattern of behavior and it may not be due to a pathology but it's beyond a lack of finances.

Maybe. But I think that’s a really harsh way to view the world. It’s hard to be worried about putting a roof over your head, facing losing your possessions because you might be homeless, and also be perfect at all times. I don’t disagree that she needed to be evicted, but that’s business. No reason for a bunch of strangers who don’t know her life to be deciding she’s a bad person.

banana468 · December 2019

STARMOON44 said:

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

banana468 said:

climbingwife said:

short+sassy said:

--------------------------

The evicted tenant who was supposed to have been out yesterday, is not. It was looking good because she wasn't avoiding contact. She was replying to my texts. All that good stuff. She even called me and apologized. That she was upset she'd let me down and now needed to move out, but understood. She thanked me for how much I'd worked with her. With the bottom line being that she only had two more trips to her storage unit, but had gotten the big stuff out. I had already offered...when it sounded like she'd made lots of progress but it was getting late in the evening...that if she wanted to take through tomorrow morning (meaning today), that would be okay. As long as it was before noon.

At first she said, thanks but no, she wanted to finish up and had to work tomorrow (today) anyway. But then, when she called, she said she would get up early to finish before she went to work.

So, my H gets there at about noon. When she's supposed to be all done and at work. SMH. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies and more lies. She was there, she wasn't at work. All her furniture was still there. He said he doesn't know what she might have moved, but it sure didn't look like she was in the middle of moving. No boxes lying around. No piles of stuff ready to be taken out. She told him she would be out by 2PM. He told her he'd be back at 3PM, but said there was no way she'd be done.

Holy fuck. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am! I mean, at this point, why is she even lying about moving her stuff out!?!? Holy shit.

Is this just her pathology? Does she even have a side business selling pralines?

Based on the frequency of the lies is it possible that she is simply not capable of telling the truth but IS instead someone who lies enough that she herself believes it and by doing so convinces others?

Eh, I tend to think she’s in over her head, can’t afford her rent, and buying herself as much time as she can before she starts couch hopping with friends. Not pathological, just poor.

Poor people who cannot tell the truth while also losing their home are more than poor. This is a repeated pattern of behavior and it may not be due to a pathology but it's beyond a lack of finances.

Maybe. But I think that’s a really harsh way to view the world. It’s hard to be worried about putting a roof over your head, facing losing your possessions because you might be homeless, and also be perfect at all times. I don’t disagree that she needed to be evicted, but that’s business. No reason for a bunch of strangers who don’t know her life to be deciding she’s a bad person.

I never said she was a bad person.

She's someone who has not told the truth (or at least seriously stretched it), stolen from someone who extended her multiple financial olive branches and left that same person with more physical and financial work as the direct result of her actions.

mrsconn23 · December 2019

STARMOON44 said:

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

banana468 said:

climbingwife said:

short+sassy said:

--------------------------

The evicted tenant who was supposed to have been out yesterday, is not. It was looking good because she wasn't avoiding contact. She was replying to my texts. All that good stuff. She even called me and apologized. That she was upset she'd let me down and now needed to move out, but understood. She thanked me for how much I'd worked with her. With the bottom line being that she only had two more trips to her storage unit, but had gotten the big stuff out. I had already offered...when it sounded like she'd made lots of progress but it was getting late in the evening...that if she wanted to take through tomorrow morning (meaning today), that would be okay. As long as it was before noon.

At first she said, thanks but no, she wanted to finish up and had to work tomorrow (today) anyway. But then, when she called, she said she would get up early to finish before she went to work.

So, my H gets there at about noon. When she's supposed to be all done and at work. SMH. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies and more lies. She was there, she wasn't at work. All her furniture was still there. He said he doesn't know what she might have moved, but it sure didn't look like she was in the middle of moving. No boxes lying around. No piles of stuff ready to be taken out. She told him she would be out by 2PM. He told her he'd be back at 3PM, but said there was no way she'd be done.

Holy fuck. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am! I mean, at this point, why is she even lying about moving her stuff out!?!? Holy shit.

Is this just her pathology? Does she even have a side business selling pralines?

Based on the frequency of the lies is it possible that she is simply not capable of telling the truth but IS instead someone who lies enough that she herself believes it and by doing so convinces others?

Eh, I tend to think she’s in over her head, can’t afford her rent, and buying herself as much time as she can before she starts couch hopping with friends. Not pathological, just poor.

Poor people who cannot tell the truth while also losing their home are more than poor. This is a repeated pattern of behavior and it may not be due to a pathology but it's beyond a lack of finances.

Maybe. But I think that’s a really harsh way to view the world. It’s hard to be worried about putting a roof over your head, facing losing your possessions because you might be homeless, and also be perfect at all times. I don’t disagree that she needed to be evicted, but that’s business. No reason for a bunch of strangers who don’t know her life to be deciding she’s a bad person.

This.

Lying to buy yourself time is not shocking at all. People do it all the time for all manner of reasons.

mrsconn23 · December 2019

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

Maybe. But I think that’s a really harsh way to view the world. It’s hard to be worried about putting a roof over your head, facing losing your possessions because you might be homeless, and also be perfect at all times. I don’t disagree that she needed to be evicted, but that’s business. No reason for a bunch of strangers who don’t know her life to be deciding she’s a bad person.

I never said she was a bad person.

She's someone who has not told the truth (or at least seriously stretched it), stolen from someone who extended her multiple financial olive branches and left that same person with more physical and financial work as the direct result of her actions.

I'm not attacking you here, but I'm just very fired up today about lying. The below is a rant I need to get off my chest.

A report just came out this weekend from WaPo regarding the fact that the entire country was lied to for years about the state of shit in Afghanistan and the fact that we made no progress there...ever. But from the HIGHEST level of government (Yes, the Obama administration included), our military heads were told to essentially make up shit to keep us there while we tried, and failed, to make inroads in eradicating the Taliban and help get the government back on their feet/create a new state. BILLIONS were spent and over 150k people died during this 'effort', Afghans and US soldiers/contractors, and for fucking what? And there is a generation of military we've fundamentally fucked because of these wars that are not being taken care of efficiently or correctly by the country they fought for.

FOR ONCE and ONLY ONCE (in my personal opinion), Trump is on the correct side of history in the fact that he's pushing for us to get the fuck out of there. Do I think he's going to get it done correctly? Probably not and he'll probably ignore all common sense advice and make a bigger mess of things, but we need to leave.

But in this country, a persistently poor person who lies to buy time to figure out their shit and has limited resources that are constantly under attack by our government is a moral failure. Yes she should be 'responsible', but sometimes it's putting gas in your car to get to work and subsisting on the tiniest bit of food and you still don't have the money to make rent because you get paid shit at the job or two you work (where you probably scrape and scrimp to get hours). And yes, people don't always make the 'correct' financial decisions. The gap is that people who aren't poor can get the credit to cover the mistakes and poor people get evicted.

I'm not mad @short+sassy that you have to evict her and she did sign an agreement to pay you. You're not personally running a charity. And I believe you are a good landlord. You certainly sound like you try very hard to make arrangements with tenants that are favorable to them so they can remain in their home.

Our system is so fundamentally fucked...and our 'problems' are blamed on the most vulnerable and exploited in our society while they're continually slapped in the face with their 'failures'/inability to get ahead. Even though that's the system design, not a defect.

banana468 · December 2019

mrsconn23 said:

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

Maybe. But I think that’s a really harsh way to view the world. It’s hard to be worried about putting a roof over your head, facing losing your possessions because you might be homeless, and also be perfect at all times. I don’t disagree that she needed to be evicted, but that’s business. No reason for a bunch of strangers who don’t know her life to be deciding she’s a bad person.

I never said she was a bad person.

She's someone who has not told the truth (or at least seriously stretched it), stolen from someone who extended her multiple financial olive branches and left that same person with more physical and financial work as the direct result of her actions.

I'm not attacking you here, but I'm just very fired up today about lying. The below is a rant I need to get off my chest.

A report just came out this weekend from WaPo regarding the fact that the entire country was lied to for years about the state of shit in Afghanistan and the fact that we made no progress there...ever. But from the HIGHEST level of government (Yes, the Obama administration included), our military heads were told to essentially make up shit to keep us there while we tried, and failed, to make inroads in eradicating the Taliban and help get the government back on their feet/create a new state. BILLIONS were spent and over 150k people died during this 'effort', Afghans and US soldiers/contractors, and for fucking what? And the generation of military we've fundamentally fucked because of these wars are not being taken care of efficiently or correctly by the country they fought for.

FOR ONCE and ONLY ONCE (in my personal opinion), Trump is on the correct side of history in the fact that he's pushing for us to get the fuck out of there. Do I think he's going to get it done correctly? Probably not and he'll probably ignore all common sense advice and make a bigger mess of things, but we need to leave.

But in this country, a persistently poor person who lies to buy time to figure out their shit and has limited resources that are constantly under attack by our government is a moral failure. Yes she should be 'responsible', but sometimes it's putting gas in your car to get to work and subsisting on the tiniest bit of food and you still don't have the money to make rent because you get paid shit at the job or two you work (where you probably scrape and scrimp to get hours). And yes, people don't always make the 'correct' financial decisions. The gap is that people who aren't poor can get the credit to cover the mistakes and poor people get evicted.

I'm not mad @short+sassy that you have to evict her and she did sign an agreement to pay you. You're not personally running a charity. And I believe you are a good landlord. You certainly sound like you try very hard to make arrangements with tenants that are favorable to them so they can remain in their home.

Our system is so fundamentally fucked...and our 'problems' are blamed on the most vulnerable and exploited in our society while they're continually slapped in the face with their 'failures'/inability to get ahead. Even though that's the system design, not a defect.

You do make a good point about how this is a systemic issue all around and I apologize for my snap judgement.

short+sassy · December 2019

You all know I appreciate your opinions and I especially appreciate the WW board being a safe place to vent out my frustrations!

Because there is a whole lot of what I've posted that I'd like to say to her, lol. But that would neither be professional nor helpful.

I do try to be a win-win, when I can. I'll close with a happier tenant story where I successfully did that. I have one tenant who, during her first year, was a really, really problematic payer. Multiple payments through the month. Sometimes carrying a little bit over. But all of that was also with heavy nagging on my end and having to post many 5-Day Pay or Quit notices.

Then, about two years ago, she came to me and asked if she could have her rent payment split in half. I had a lot of trepidation because I didn't want the 1x/month big hassle turning into a 2x/month big hassle. But agreed to the extra risk for a $50/month increase in rent. In fact, I even left it in the addendum that if she did pay in full by her normal due date, she could pay what it had previously been.

Did she turn into a perfect payer and I never have to send her reminder texts about the rent? Nope, not quite, lol. But she did get substantially better and has now been my tenant for 3 years. It has been less stressful for me and I'd assume less stressful for her.

No Monday?

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