Customs and Traditions
fireytiger
member
Gap between Ceremony and Reception - Help!
Hi everyone! I am literally making myself sick stressing about this, and I was hoping for some help.
There is a gap that I can't seem to eliminate between my ceremony and reception. My ceremony is at a gazebo in a local park, and the reception is at a nice restaurant about 15 minutes away. Unfortunately, the city would only rent me the gazebo from 12 to 3pm. We must be gone by 3. Which I figured, okay, then let's get the ceremony started at 2, be done by 2:30 with plenty of time to break down our decor and chairs, and then have the reception start at about 3, maybe 3:30 at the latest. I had talked to the reception venue coordinator and she made it seem like this would be okay. There'd be a small gap, but it wouldn't be obnoxiously long.
Last week, I started going around to all my vendors to confirm details. At this time, I was informed that the restaurant has changed their hours, and the earliest they can start the reception is at 4. No guests may enter the building before 4. I asked about a cocktail hour, and they told me they're already opening an hour early for us by opening at 4, so they can't accommodate that. So from 2:30ish until 4, we have nowhere for our guests to be. Deposits are already paid, they are non-refundable, and this wedding is now a little over 90 days away. I don't want my guests to hate me for leaving them in the lurch, but I don't know what else I can do! Does anyone have any ideas?
There is a gap that I can't seem to eliminate between my ceremony and reception. My ceremony is at a gazebo in a local park, and the reception is at a nice restaurant about 15 minutes away. Unfortunately, the city would only rent me the gazebo from 12 to 3pm. We must be gone by 3. Which I figured, okay, then let's get the ceremony started at 2, be done by 2:30 with plenty of time to break down our decor and chairs, and then have the reception start at about 3, maybe 3:30 at the latest. I had talked to the reception venue coordinator and she made it seem like this would be okay. There'd be a small gap, but it wouldn't be obnoxiously long.
Last week, I started going around to all my vendors to confirm details. At this time, I was informed that the restaurant has changed their hours, and the earliest they can start the reception is at 4. No guests may enter the building before 4. I asked about a cocktail hour, and they told me they're already opening an hour early for us by opening at 4, so they can't accommodate that. So from 2:30ish until 4, we have nowhere for our guests to be. Deposits are already paid, they are non-refundable, and this wedding is now a little over 90 days away. I don't want my guests to hate me for leaving them in the lurch, but I don't know what else I can do! Does anyone have any ideas?
Re: Gap between Ceremony and Reception - Help!
The only other idea would be to host your cocktail hour at the park. This would probably involve renting a separate picnic space and having to bring in refreshments, which could end up being pricey. You could do a non-alcoholic cocktail hour to avoid any liquor laws, but you'd still need a couple of party platters and water/tea/lemonade/soda and the serving pieces.
I'm certain there is not another option for a restaurant out here to host the reception that we could afford. I searched for months, and we were lucky to find this one for a reasonable cost. Part of why the time is a problem now is because when we discussed the 3:30 time originally, it was still an "up in the air" thing. They said they usually start their receptions at 4, and we asked if 3:30 could work if necessary and she said yes because we were doing a buffet, but we weren't really sure of exact times yet when we signed the contract. That was back in July. I have the email with that conversation, but looking at the paperwork, it looks like she put down 4:00. I'm emailing her back to point that prior conversation out again, but we may have shot ourselves in the foot on that front.
A friend of mine suggested that since our reception is near a lot of good scenic areas, we could ask our guests to meet us to take a group photo. One of our city's famous giant fountains is about a block away from the reception hall. Corralling everyone together, walking down, and taking those photos would potentially burn up at least some of the time, and make the wait not feel so long. We're also thinking of having the ceremony start closer to 2:15, which would make the end time more like 2:45. It's cutting it close on time, but our decorations are minimal and the vendor for our chair rental said they can come at an exact time to pick up the chairs, so we could have them do that at 3:00 while we're all mingling and taking some quick photos. That'd eat another small chunk of time. Thoughts on these ideas?
What I'd do is move one or the other location. If you like that reception location then what about getting married there and doing a first look at the gazebo?
But you have only 30 people, so I'm wondering if there is any reception venue that could accommodate you earlier? You could keep the gazebo as your ceremony site, but pick a different reception spot. It's not unreasonable to ask your guests to drive 15-20 minutes to the reception venue. People who have their weddings in churches or places where booze cannot be served do this all the time.
You may need to think more along the lines of afternoon tea reception vs dinner reception, but that might end up costing you less, depending on your menu. You're going to have to be creative, because I agree with you that a one hour gap with literally no place to go is not acceptable.
If you have no major dietary restrictions I'd look into getting a charceuterie board from a local Costco or supermarket with some drinks (non alcoholic if the park won't let you bring them in) and that's at least something while you get ready to head over.
What's the transit time to the restaurant? Between hugs and chatter and packing up and driving all of that should get you to the time.
All of that is why I was thinking the photo by the fountain might at least eat up some time and give us some really nice photos of our whole group. We could communicate to everyone to meet at the parking lot at 3:20-3:30. People would have time to get there, we'd walk down to the fountain as a group, get some photos together, then walk back. There might still be a short wait for the venue to open, but we wouldn't be sitting around in the parking lot for a solid hour waiting for the venue to open.
For reference, here's a google street view of the venue and the fountain. The venue is all the way on the right of the shot; the fountain is all the way on the left of the shot, and the entrance to the restaurant parking lot is also visible.
I'd highly recommend checking out a community center or county fairgrounds type building you can also rent that is indoors that you could have a snacks & punch cocktail hour or just "in case of rain" option if the restaurant won't allow.