Dear Prudence,
I’m a 37-year-old single woman. For the last five years, my mother has been badgering me to attend the annual family vacation. She makes comments all year round in an attempt to make me feel bad for not going (she’s the queen of guilt-trips). My parents, my younger brother, and my older brother (with his wife and their four kids) all go on vacation together. I just don’t find these trips fun or relaxing. My brother and his wife always have a big blow-out fight, and my mom has zero boundaries with people. I end up coming back more stressed out than when I left.
For the last five years I have been going on vacations with friends, and we have a blast. I’ve told my mom that I like spending time with my friends. I only live 30 minutes away and see them quite often throughout the year, but my mom just won’t let this go. Do I have to go on family vacations, or should I be doing what I want? I love my mother, but the thought of spending a week with her gives me anxiety because I know she’ll spend the week telling me what I should be doing with my life, and all the things she thinks I’m doing wrong, and why aren’t I married because she wants more grandkids, etc.
—Done With Family Trips