Wedding Woes

Coronavirus should I postpone my wedding?

Hi there! I’m so very stressed out. My wedding is scheduled for 5/17/2020 at the Chesapeake Inn in Chesapeake City Maryland. I’m nervous I will have to postpone my wedding. The government is recommend cancelling events 8 weeks out and mine is 8 weeks 5 days. Any thoughts? 
Thank you!
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Re: Coronavirus should I postpone my wedding?

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hi there! I’m so very stressed out. My wedding is scheduled for 5/17/2020 at the Chesapeake Inn in Chesapeake City Maryland. I’m nervous I will have to postpone my wedding. The government is recommend cancelling events 8 weeks out and mine is 8 weeks 5 days. Any thoughts? 
    Thank you!
    At just over 8 weeks out, you're probably just about to drop the invitations in the mail, so it's really a pivotal moment. No one knows what will be happening in 8 weeks. It's possible that we'll still be in the middle of this pandemic, or we could be getting back to normal and ready to socialize. No one can make the call for you, but I would probably postpone at this point, just to be safe.

    Some things to consider:
    -Have you spoken to your vendors about cancellation/postponing? Most are willing to work with you in light of truly exceptional circumstances
    -How many guests are you inviting?
    -Do you know if any of your guests are high risk? (You probably know if they're elderly, but you may not know about other health concerns.)
    -How much travel is involved?
    -If you did cancel, would you just move the whole thing to a new date, or would you change plans entirely? (Elope at the courthouse and celebrate later? Low key gathering with immediate family in your backyard? Something else?)

    charlotte989875
  • I actually already sent the invitations :( it’s around 65 guests of which 5 would be considered high risk. Everyone is within 45 minutes of the ceremony site. If cancelled I’d do a new date same venue since everything is paid for. 
  • I am in a very similar boat. My wedding is May 16th and I sent out my invites on Friday. But I have a much higher guest count and I have already contacted my venue and honestly, they didn't really help. I would have a very hard time rescheduling and it sounds like if it isn't extended then I would be out of most of my money, only about $2,000 is still due which is due 21 days before and that is when everything needs to be finalized.
    We have some people coming from 15 minutes away to a few states away. A few of our people are high risk, including someone who is a vender (even though she won't admit it I wouldn't want to put her at risk).
  • I am in a very similar boat. My wedding is May 16th and I sent out my invites on Friday. But I have a much higher guest count and I have already contacted my venue and honestly, they didn't really help. I would have a very hard time rescheduling and it sounds like if it isn't extended then I would be out of most of my money, only about $2,000 is still due which is due 21 days before and that is when everything needs to be finalized.
    We have some people coming from 15 minutes away to a few states away. A few of our people are high risk, including someone who is a vender (even though she won't admit it I wouldn't want to put her at risk).
    I am in the same boat. My wedding is supposed to be 5/3/20, just over 6 weeks away, and I have been a mess for 2 days trying to figure out what I should do. Part of me wants to get ahead of the curve and go ahead and postpone and be proactive, but part of me wants to wait it out and see if things get closer to normal. My venue is being flexible in letting people postpone, but they book so far in advance (like 2 years) I am worried I will have to move it to a weird day or a season I did not buy things to match and I will have to entirely rethink my vision or spend a lot of money to rework it. They are NOT allowing people to have their money back. We are doing a spring garden theme--I have ordered a ton of wedding supplies without date on them. I feel so heart broken and I have been planning this for over a year. 
  • I am in a very similar boat. My wedding is May 16th and I sent out my invites on Friday. But I have a much higher guest count and I have already contacted my venue and honestly, they didn't really help. I would have a very hard time rescheduling and it sounds like if it isn't extended then I would be out of most of my money, only about $2,000 is still due which is due 21 days before and that is when everything needs to be finalized.
    We have some people coming from 15 minutes away to a few states away. A few of our people are high risk, including someone who is a vender (even though she won't admit it I wouldn't want to put her at risk).
    Are you in a state that has closed restaurants/bars or gatherings larger than 50’people? I can’t see how they can still expect you to pay if the venue is (potentially) closed 
  • I can’t post a forum because I just registered, but I’m getting married in July and really starting to think about a PLAN B. Trump told reporters this might not blow over until July/August. Which totally freaks me out since I’m sure every bride has spent so much time + efforts + money on their wedding, and to imagine cancelling it would be so devastating... but maybe it’s something to consider. It’s probably better to do that than have more tension + stress over potentially canceling your wedding.  
  • The government is recommend cancelling events 8 weeks out and mine is 8 weeks 5 days. Any thoughts? 
    Thank you!


    Let's say the quarantines all end in 8 weeks. There is no way everything (disrupted supply lines, airlines, etc.) will be up and running 5 days later. I would cancel. I imagine vendors and venues all over the world are going to have to come up with ways to handle this situation without leaving couples in the lurch. If you can guarantee to your venue that you want everything the same, just a different day later on, I'll bet you will have your pick of available dates. 
    charlotte989875knottieb3095fdbb5630c4d
  • I'm well into planning my wedding (paid out $3k+ already) for end of September 2020. With the projections that this coronavirus thing could last months, I am anxious and wondering how I should continue?
  • I feel your pain. My wedding is scheduled for May 22 on Long Island, NY and we've been planning for over a year a half as everything in New York for weddings books out months and months in advance. Already spent over 10k in deposits for the venue and vendors and I'm just hoping everything goes as planned. Best of luck to you!
  • I’m hoping everything goes just as planned too. My venue had a package where they pretty much provided everything for the wedding which made is pretty easy but we also planned it for over 1.5 years and already pushed the date once so I really don’t want to do it again 
  • We live overseas and our wedding is supposed to be on April 4th, but everything is falling apart. I'm the groom. First my mom cancelled, and then flights were cancelled for my best man and his wife. Even if they got flights, they would be under 14-day quarantine, and wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. Another groomsman from New York hasn't been in touch and is presumed 'out'. Government restrictions are also in place for the next two weeks, so many places will be closed. Local people are avoiding contact with each other and avoiding malls or public events for the most part.
    Even if we forced the wedding, it seems like it would be less 'fun' at this time. So it sounds like we're going to cancel and try to re-plan for six months down the road. We will likely lose some money as a result. Hopefully some of the vendors will work with us. The bride stubbornly clung to hope until the last moment, but I think the travel restrictions imposed today were the last straw.
  • I'm well into planning my wedding (paid out $3k+ already) for end of September 2020. With the projections that this coronavirus thing could last months, I am anxious and wondering how I should continue?
    I think with September you still have some time to wait and see. Also at this point vendors are going to be focusing on people with events in the few weeks, then April/May. A lot can change by September. 
  • I feel your pain. My wedding is scheduled for May 22 on Long Island, NY and we've been planning for over a year a half as everything in New York for weddings books out months and months in advance. Already spent over 10k in deposits for the venue and vendors and I'm just hoping everything goes as planned. Best of luck to you!
    That’s such a bummer. That’s my anniversary (& I’m in NY), I hope the restrictions are lifted by then. 
  • aisfora86aisfora86 Philadelphia member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    Feeling everyone's pain here. My wedding is May 31st, and we were unsure about what we should do. We're very lucky because our venue let us pick a backup date, so right now if May 31st doesn't work, we're going to go for August 2nd. The backup date works for all of our vendors and VIPs, so we're incredibly lucky. We need to make a decision by May 1st about if we're going forward with May 31st or moving it to August. At this point, while I'm hoping beyond hope that we can get married in May, I'm thinking it will likely be August. But that's okay. Whenever we get married, we're in it together, and we'll be surrounded by our family and friends which is so important to us. We just want everyone to be as healthy and safe as possible.
    charlotte989875
  • I am in a similar situation.  My wedding is supposed to be May 23rd in Florida.  Most guests would be coming from New York though.  Obviously we are concerned with people's safety and level of comfort traveling at that time.  We have about 150 guests coming. Since we are technically out of that 8 week mark it feels like maybe I should wait it out.  However, I was able to get my venue and vendors all on Nov. 13th.  I guess the question is do I play it safe and just go for Nov. or wait and see (anxiety ridden) what happens.  It would be very unfortunate if travel picked back up again in May and I already went ahead and canceled.  However, the decision does need to be made fairly soon!
    Does anyone have a destination wedding around the same time that can offer guidance?
    knottie5acfc0c652fb695f
  • My daughter is in the same boat as you. Her wedding is 5/15 in Mexico. Do we pull the trigger and postpone? Do we pull the trigger and relocate to a location near home? So many questions with no answers at this time. 
  • Right there with you guys. Our wedding is 5/19 and we were supposed to mail our invites last weekend. We’re expecting 450-550 guests. We’re sitting tight until 4/5 to see what happens. I feel so selfish for being so upset and bummed out. 
  • I am in a similar situation.  My wedding is supposed to be May 23rd in Florida.  Most guests would be coming from New York though.  Obviously we are concerned with people's safety and level of comfort traveling at that time.  We have about 150 guests coming. Since we are technically out of that 8 week mark it feels like maybe I should wait it out.  However, I was able to get my venue and vendors all on Nov. 13th.  I guess the question is do I play it safe and just go for Nov. or wait and see (anxiety ridden) what happens.  It would be very unfortunate if travel picked back up again in May and I already went ahead and canceled.  However, the decision does need to be made fairly soon!
    Does anyone have a destination wedding around the same time that can offer guidance.
    Especially since you've already been able to get your venue and vendors lined up for the same day in Nov., which is already pretty great!, I think that's a much safer bet.

    Certainly the hope for all of us is that most of this will be subsided and life will be getting back to normal in about 8 weeks or sooner.  However, we really don't know and I think there's a good chance it will take longer.  Or places like NY and CA, where the first US cases hit, will also be the first ones returning back to normal.  But other states, like FL, might still be in the midst.

    I briefly lived in FL and am now a 4-hour drive to Gulf Coast FL beaches, so I have mini-vacays there often.  It's been my impression that people from colder climates LOVE to come to FL in the winter.  So that could be a small silver lining, since most of your guests are coming from NY. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 20
    I am in a similar situation.  My wedding is supposed to be May 23rd in Florida.  Most guests would be coming from New York though.  Obviously we are concerned with people's safety and level of comfort traveling at that time.  We have about 150 guests coming. Since we are technically out of that 8 week mark it feels like maybe I should wait it out.  However, I was able to get my venue and vendors all on Nov. 13th.  I guess the question is do I play it safe and just go for Nov. or wait and see (anxiety ridden) what happens.  It would be very unfortunate if travel picked back up again in May and I already went ahead and canceled.  However, the decision does need to be made fairly soon!
    Does anyone have a destination wedding around the same time that can offer guidance?

    I'm going to say - because of traveling a lot in Florida the past several years (at least 4 months in the past three years)... Without a question in my mind - go for the November 13th as that's like the PERFECT week to be traveling down there...  Season hasn't really officially started yet, everything is decked out for Christmas, prices are reasonable since it's not Thanksgiving yet...  And the weather is BEAUTIFUL that time of year down there!
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  • Hi there! I’m so very stressed out. My wedding is scheduled for 5/17/2020 at the Chesapeake Inn in Chesapeake City Maryland. I’m nervous I will have to postpone my wedding. The government is recommend cancelling events 8 weeks out and mine is 8 weeks 5 days. Any thoughts? 
    Thank you!
    Hi! I’m on the same boat as you. Our wedding is set for 5/15 in California (and I live in Arizona). I’m feeling so many emotions too. We’re planning day by day and want to agree with a list of back up dates just to prepare ourselves. Definitely reach out to your venue and vendors and ask for their options.

    Good luck! 
  • Hello! We are in a similar situation with our wedding as well. Our wedding date is May 22, 2020 and it is a destination wedding in southwest Florida. We have contacted our vendors and coordinator and are currently setting up a backup date to put on hold for the fall. It sucks though because we got the leftover dates and did not get many options since the March and April brides' weddings had to move their date before us and get first pick (which is totally understandable), but our Plan B date could have been a little bit better with the weather. We are now looking at dates in September and luckily our vendors have been super understanding of it all because this is all so crazy! We are still waiting to "call it" or not and will probably know in a week or so if we absolutely have to change it or keep it.

    Question for y'all - I want honest opinions: We have seen some couples move their wedding to the fall, but still get married on the original wedding date that they wanted like in April or whenever. We are thinking of getting married to keep our date but continue with the wedding ceremony and reception in the fall, but cannot decide on if that kills the excitement/wedding vibe of our ceremony and reception in the fall. Should we just wait until September because that is weird to do or keep our date and get married on May 22?

    Thank you!
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hello! We are in a similar situation with our wedding as well. Our wedding date is May 22, 2020 and it is a destination wedding in southwest Florida. We have contacted our vendors and coordinator and are currently setting up a backup date to put on hold for the fall. It sucks though because we got the leftover dates and did not get many options since the March and April brides' weddings had to move their date before us and get first pick (which is totally understandable), but our Plan B date could have been a little bit better with the weather. We are now looking at dates in September and luckily our vendors have been super understanding of it all because this is all so crazy! We are still waiting to "call it" or not and will probably know in a week or so if we absolutely have to change it or keep it.

    Question for y'all - I want honest opinions: We have seen some couples move their wedding to the fall, but still get married on the original wedding date that they wanted like in April or whenever. We are thinking of getting married to keep our date but continue with the wedding ceremony and reception in the fall, but cannot decide on if that kills the excitement/wedding vibe of our ceremony and reception in the fall. Should we just wait until September because that is weird to do or keep our date and get married on May 22?

    Thank you!
    I think if you choose to get married on your original date, you can have a celebration party in the fall. Since these times call for leniency with etiquette rules, I think you're ok wearing your dress and doing the traditional things that are done at a reception. However, you shouldn't do a mock ceremony. You will have already been married several months, and everyone would know that. It would be disrespectful to your marriage to act like the date in the fall is the day you and your H were wed. As a guest that is the only thing I would side-eye.
    knottie5acfc0c652fb695fshort+sassyei34MyNameIsNot
  • Great points! Thank you so much! :)
  • aisfora86aisfora86 Philadelphia member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    mrsconn23 said:
    I'm well into planning my wedding (paid out $3k+ already) for end of September 2020. With the projections that this coronavirus thing could last months, I am anxious and wondering how I should continue?
    I think with September you still have some time to wait and see. Also at this point vendors are going to be focusing on people with events in the few weeks, then April/May. A lot can change by September. 
    This.

    And also Trump is the only one who said it could be through August or whatever.  Reports about areas that contained and quarantined (like Wuhan) are coming out that things are on an upswing now and life is resuming.  I would imagine by late May/early June, we'll have a good grip on the situation. 

    Just another reminder that all this social distancing and the shutdowns do work and should be taken seriously. 
    My fiance is a sportswriter and we found out that South Korea has started scheduling basketball tournaments again for the near future (with crowds and everything!). Definitely a great sign.

    Not to get overly political, but half of what Trump has said about the Covid-19 situation has been inaccurate, so the July/August statement is likely another instance of him speaking off the cuff.
  • banana468 said:
    aisfora86 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    I'm well into planning my wedding (paid out $3k+ already) for end of September 2020. With the projections that this coronavirus thing could last months, I am anxious and wondering how I should continue?
    I think with September you still have some time to wait and see. Also at this point vendors are going to be focusing on people with events in the few weeks, then April/May. A lot can change by September. 
    This.

    And also Trump is the only one who said it could be through August or whatever.  Reports about areas that contained and quarantined (like Wuhan) are coming out that things are on an upswing now and life is resuming.  I would imagine by late May/early June, we'll have a good grip on the situation. 

    Just another reminder that all this social distancing and the shutdowns do work and should be taken seriously. 
    My fiance is a sportswriter and we found out that South Korea has started scheduling basketball tournaments again for the near future (with crowds and everything!). Definitely a great sign.

    Not to get overly political, but half of what Trump has said about the Covid-19 situation has been inaccurate, so the July/August statement is likely another instance of him speaking off the cuff.
    He never speaks ON the cuff.

    But if he implements his desire for people to go back to work in April then we're screwed. 
    The major difference with South Korea is that they immediately began widespread testing and tracing the infection. People also respected the social distancing/lockdown measures, which were consistent across the country; so unlike what we have seen at the federal level. Our response has been much closer to Italy IMO and if we’re wondering what we’re going to look like that’s the test case, not SK which has had some of the most efficient testing/tracing and quarantine. 
    Exactly!

    Our town basically had to say but nicely, "Because you aren't fucking listening about social distancing we are now closing the baseball fields and basketball courts. "

    Meaning - unless you're a Duggar or Von Trapp, you cannot be actively socially distancing AND using the public courts.   So FFS find something else to do.

    There's screw ups with this happening from the top on down and if people don't start to socially distance then we haven't started to flatten the curve yet and it's going to get a fuckload worse before it gets better. 
    charlotte989875
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think governors will be making the decisions for the states - not Trump. The governor of Ohio (where both sons live) has already said he isn't opening up the state any time soon. I can only pray that other governors will follow suit and over ride anything Trump says.

    Knottie1433821676
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