Wedding Woes

(I know y'all are) Are the hetero ladies okay?

I busted up laughing when I saw this and Twitter is hilariously bashing this:

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"I've barely left the house in lockdown. No wonder my wife looks strained."

"I mean, I can't speak for anyone else, but we've all been at home for 5 months now and I haven't had a single poo. Disaster could ensue if the man who watched me produce two children and nurse them knew that sometimes I poo."

"Those women must've exploded during lockdown. Rip. -- Have they been added to the COVID death tally?"

Also, i don't particularly enjoy pooping in public, no, but if I need to go, I do so.  K and I tend to announce b/c with one bathroom, we make sure the other doesn't have to pee first. 

:D
charlotte989875

Re: (I know y'all are) Are the hetero ladies okay?

  • I've had kind of the opposite problem!  There have been a couple times where I was out and about for hours running errands and doing mystery shops.  But, nowadays, public toilets are HARD to find.  The usual "culprits" for me...fast food places...almost all have their dining rooms closed!  They don't have to where I live.  But most of them do anyway.

    Same with gas stations.  Those are a crap shoot.  Some of them never have public restrooms.  Some of them normally do, but don't right now.  And then some of them do, but those are few and far between.

    Grocery stores and Walmarts have been my new "when you gotta go" spot.  But those are fewer and farther between, so I have to start planning sooner, lol.

    I'm not above using public restrooms, but prefer to make it home if that is possible.  TMI.  The dire emergency for me would be pooing in a public restroom.  I rarely do that.  Not pooing with my b/f in the house.  That's a fair statement when I was first dating someone.  But once we are staying overnight at each other's house on the reg, to try and maintain that would be ridiculous.
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    VarunaTTcharlotte989875
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mrsconn23 said:
    Oh sweet lord.  This 'hot take' makes me want to blow up the internet. 

    NEWSFLASH: there's no one thing 'all women' do.  There's no sisterhood of the twats.  

    On a personal level, there's no mystery around these parts.  I prefer NOT shitting in public, but if you gotta go, you gotta go.  




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    charlotte989875mrsconn23MNNEBrideCasadena
  • We have 3 bathrooms, so I generally try to use one that is "out of the way". I just like my privacy and if I am going to stink up a room, let it be one that can air out the longest before I need it again.

    But DH says things sometimes that really make me question his upbringing. Like I am not entirely sure he "knows for a fact" that girls fart. He mentions it kind of like a kid on the cusp of believing in Santa. Like he knows logically that they do but .... ?
    charlotte989875
  • After H watching multiple doctors with their hands in my vagina, all the fun stuff about being in labor, then watching them cut a baby out of my belly, and all the detailed clean up and questions after childbirth- if he thinks I don’t poop then something is wrong with him.

    We have two bathrooms and generally he uses the downstairs and I use upstairs but there is nothing that would make me not poop at my own house. 
    MNNEBride
  • banana468 said:
    TMI: DH greeted me last night going to bed with "Fuck you!  You blew up the bathroom." 

    We all poop DH.  Some of us just don't have trips to the bathroom that are longer than naps. 
    LMAO! 

    DH and I warn each other to avoid a bathroom if it's bad. 

    And secondly, DefConn has now taken to ribbing DH over his 'pooping time' and how he takes forever.  It's hilarious. Kid's got jokes. 
    MNNEBridecharlotte989875
  • mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:
    TMI: DH greeted me last night going to bed with "Fuck you!  You blew up the bathroom." 

    We all poop DH.  Some of us just don't have trips to the bathroom that are longer than naps. 
    LMAO! 

    DH and I warn each other to avoid a bathroom if it's bad. 

    And secondly, DefConn has now taken to ribbing DH over his 'pooping time' and how he takes forever.  It's hilarious. Kid's got jokes. 
    I've told DH more than once that I've had naps shorter than his visits. 
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride Midwest member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    DH and I only have one bathroom and a second one (even if it's a half) is top of the list for house hunting.  A good bathroom fan and Fabreze Extra Strength as the secrets to a happy marriage :wink:
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  • banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    banana468 said:
    TMI: DH greeted me last night going to bed with "Fuck you!  You blew up the bathroom." 

    We all poop DH.  Some of us just don't have trips to the bathroom that are longer than naps. 
    LMAO! 

    DH and I warn each other to avoid a bathroom if it's bad. 

    And secondly, DefConn has now taken to ribbing DH over his 'pooping time' and how he takes forever.  It's hilarious. Kid's got jokes. 
    I've told DH more than once that I've had naps shorter than his visits. 
    Seriously.  If it takes you 40 minutes to poop, do you really have poop?  
    charlotte989875
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    FBIL takes the longest bathroom breaks. We have all the jokes for him. Last Christmas as a gag gift we got him a portable squatty potty. 


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    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • levioosa said:
    FBIL takes the longest bathroom breaks. We have all the jokes for him. Last Christmas as a gag gift we got him a portable squatty potty. 
    SIL thought something was wrong with her relationship with BIL because of the length of time he spent in the bathroom.

    I think some of the dudes in the family just need more time.   I can't explain it but for them it seems to be a more holistic experience. 
  • banana468 said:
    levioosa said:
    FBIL takes the longest bathroom breaks. We have all the jokes for him. Last Christmas as a gag gift we got him a portable squatty potty. 
    SIL thought something was wrong with her relationship with BIL because of the length of time he spent in the bathroom.

    I think some of the dudes in the family just need more time.   I can't explain it but for them it seems to be a more holistic experience. 
    When H takes forever the dog sits outside the door with a concerned look on his face like something is wrong. 
    VarunaTTMNNEBridemrsconn23
  • We live in a 700 square foot 105 year old carriage house with no insulation or sound proofing.

    Believe me, he knows I poop.

    And I have farted in front of him.  Multiple times.  Because when I accidentally eat gluten, all bets and attempts at "mystery" are off.

    charlotte989875CharmedPammrsconn23banana468
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