Hi everyone! I’m brand new to the site and loving all the amazing support and advice in this community
id really appreciate some help if anyone can give their input to help me navigate a tricky situation. My brother is separated from his wife and has been for 3 years. Although they have separated I am still very close to his wife and their 2 teenage kids. My brother has never moved forward with the divorce which makes family get togethers very awkward, as she is still very much part of our family after 20 years of marriage.
The situation is my brother has a new girlfriend they’ve been together about 3 months and he’s smitten. Our wedding is coming up end of March and we’ve had to downsize drastically. My fiancé and I are each inviting 15 people and mostly family. When my brother asked the other day if his new GF could come to the wedding I said no because we just don’t have the space with numbers, most of my fiancé’s family who he’s very close to are not invited due to restrictions on guest numbers. The other reason I don’t want the GF invited is that it could upset my sister in law a lot and then her kids will be upset and my parents. I just don’t want any drama on our wedding day. My brother said he understood but called my parents very upset and angry because his new GF is not invited and he think his wife shouldn’t be invited. His wife is a bridesmaid and his kids are also involved in the ceremony. I can’t imagine their mom not being at our wedding.
It looks like he is now threatening not to come to my wedding unless his GF can be there and I’m really stumped. I find this really hard to understand and my fiancé is feeling really fed up with my brothers selfishness.
can anyone help me with this - am I being unreasonable in any way, am I missing anything important here? Or are we making a good call to stand by our decision that his wife being such a good friend to me and family, should be prioritized over his new GF. My brother seems to think my loyalty to him should come first but I hardly even know his GF we’ve met 3 times before.
Thanks so much for any help with this!