Wedding Woes

Fri-yay

TGIF!  My school is off for the Lunar New Year, but my kids’ isn’t, so I’m enjoying my day of peace before Feb break next week.  Gong Xi Fa Cai (pronounced gung hay fat choy) to any knottie who observes or celebrates.  2021 is the Year of the Ox, so if you were born in 1961, ‘73, ‘85, it’s your year. (Think I covered everyone- we don’t have any ‘49 or ‘97, do we?).

My second dose is tomorrow, my dad received his second dose yesterday and my mom’s tier (1C) starts Feb 15th in my state, so I’m happy. Hoping everyone has a good day! 
MissKittyDangercharlotte989875STARMOON44short+sassymrsconn23VarunaTTlevioosaOliveOilsMomMNNEBride
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Re: Fri-yay

  • Enjoy the peace @ei34 ! Similarly H went to the office for a couple hours and I am enjoying a quiet house. Glad you are getting your second dose tomorrow, what great news
    ei34OliveOilsMom
  • The Today show did a Rom-Com movie bracket challenge and You've Got Mail won - that is probably my favorite rom-com, I could definitely watch it any time I see it on so I support the win
    short+sassycharlotte989875ei34
  • @ei34 enjoy your time alone!

    G came home last night from school with a 104 fever and a major runny nose.  It's lower this morning but still elevated.  I'm sure it's just teething/ear infection/cold but the Dr. recommended a COVId test just to be sure.  So he's home with us until we get the results from that.  I'm super busy at work so this is not ideal.  My parents will come help and quarantine with us if we absolutely need it.  

    Very ready for the weekend. 
    kvrunsei34OliveOilsMom
  • Enjoy your quiet time @ei34

    @kvruns I have never seen You've Got Mail. I don't have a favorite but I am a sucker for all of them. Maybe I can convince DH to watch one with me tonight. (Doubtful. I recently suggested Bad Mom's and it was bad alright, lol. We couldn't finish it. So I think I am banned from suggesting anything for a bit.)

    DH randomly decided to take DS to the mall today so I also got a small amount of quiet time. Idk what got into him but he bought DS some  clothes (next size up since my friend that gave us all the hand me downs moved. 😭) and supplemental Duplo blocks. DS has been in toddler heaven all day.
    ei34OliveOilsMomkvruns
  • Oh no @Casadena, that throws a curve in your day even if it’s covid or not covid. Yikes!

    enjoy your quiet days/days off.  Yay for 2nd doses.

    I got my dishwasher hooked up, and it seems to be working - however - we test ran it and there was a lot of water at the bottom.  Nothing like my last one... 🤔 

    tonight is zoom games and this weekend is something for Vday.  I’m not sure what but we both agreed no gifts and it’s not a big deal for us. I did buy some sexy lingerie.  That’s what he’s getting. Maybe I’ll add some cake to my walmart pick up order. 

    So there’s a gap from my counter to sink.  I knew it would happen.  We installed the counter ourselves many years ago (hence the color difference) and it didn’t go all the way up to the edge.  I told the counter top guys it would be ok.  My dad says fill with black caulk, M says a strip of wood. @short+sassy or any other remodelers have any other ideas?  I’m thinking caulk. 

  • Oh no @Casadena really hoping it’s just teething! 

    Baby M was up all night. Or rather he didn’t want me to put him down in his bed. Probably a combination of the shots and the dairy/gas issues but poor baby just couldn’t settle down. Thankfully I only have one meeting today. 

    And I have Monday off and an early release today. I’m so in need of a break it couldn’t have come at a better time! 
  • @STARMOON44 I hope you have a great time and the drama is kept to a minimum
    STARMOON44
  • Oh no @Casadena and @charlotte989875
    Hope it goes better this time around @STARMOON44!
    STARMOON44charlotte989875
  • My mum is year of the Ox - I believe Metal Ox like this year - so I'm pretty stoked.
    One of my bff's, her fiance is Chinese so they celebrating the Lunar year :) We did in 2018 when I was pregnant, and the food was so good. They were really nice and had some bland food for me lol

    @ei34 ahhh nice :) peace

    @Casadena urg covid times during toddler hood :( We barely got lucky with teething and finished a large chunk before covid happened {literally JUST before .... like February lol}

    @missJeanLouise lol DS is probably just loving your H right now!


    Last day I'm WFH because lock down is lifting enough we can be back in office fully :) Not that we're a big office. We naturally social distance so it's not difficult lol
    BK is home, so M is off. I'm debating on not working this afternoon. I could us a nap. I had a rough headache yesterday - idk if sinus or migraine or both, but lights were brutal on the way home. I was pretty grateful I wasn't driving.
    Tbh I'm going to make sure I keep tylenol on me when I do drive. That way if I do have a headache, I could at least keep it at bay until I get home.
    ei34
  • Jstump2 said:
    Every living being took turns waking me up last night.  2AM-5yo had a nightmare. 3am- cat let me play the song of my people on a door that I shut on myself. 4am-2yo woke up with teething pain. 5am- husband getting ready for work 6am- dog loosing her Sh*t barking at something outside. annnd then  my alarm at 630am. Extra large coffee for me today.
    All the coffee for you today. 
    Jstump2mrsconn23OliveOilsMomei34
  • So glad the weekend is near! Here's hoping for sleepy babies all weekend. 

    Nothing too much going on here. We will probably see my family tomorrow for a belated birthday dinner. My sister's kids are now negative and got to go back to school this week. I haven't seen any of them since Christmas, so I'm excited about that. Otherwise probably just chilling at home. Sunday will just be wine, cheese and chocolate. I'm hoping or a little snow, but it will probably just be rain and muddy dog. 
    charlotte989875OliveOilsMomei34
  • @Jstump2 oooohhhh Nooo that is just not fair!
    @charlotte989875 I hope your LO sleeps better tonight!
    @Casadena sending healthy vibes your way!
    Jstump2
  • @ei34, Year of the Ox right here!  Born in '73.  I discovered a couple weeks ago that it's my year again and told my H a funny story.  I remember being in young elementary school.  I think second grade and we were learning about the Lunar New Year.  So we are each looking at the chart and exclaiming.  "I'm an Ox!", "Me too!"  Repeat that exchange a couple dozen times and we are all excited that most of us are Oxen, lmao. 

    We did finally put two and two together that, if we are all in the same grade, it makes sense we were almost all born the same year.  But that thought process took substantially longer for 7-year-olds then it would for an adult, lmao. 

    @Casadena, good luck to G!  I hope he's feeling better soon.

    @CharmedPam, I'll show your pic to my H, when I get home.  I feel like a solution already exists for a gap like that, but can't put my finger on what it is.

    @STARMOON44, I hope you have a really fun time sans drunken drama!  Encourage glasses of water with the wine for hydration and less hangover.  But hopefully more water=less wine.  Though I certainly can't promise any such thing, lol.

    Two hours left before my 4-day weekend!  It's pouring rain and cold.  I can't wait to be snuggled into a pile of blankets, back at home, lol.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    STARMOON44OliveOilsMomkvrunsei34
  • @ei34 you're in NYC right?  I wonder if your school is near Flushing where a friend got married.  When we attended it years ago it was amazing how even some of the street signs and nearly all the business signs weren't just in English but in Chinese as well.  
    He had a family style Chinese dinner and we loved how every new course had different symbolism and luck for the couple. 

    Tonight we'll go to the ILs for Chinese food.  

    Tomorrow I have a virtual baby shower for friends expecting their first and I need to clean up.  ILs are coming over Sunday for the Daytona 500 so I need to make sports party food - thinking either a pot of chili or pulled pork.  I also have half a batch of pretzel dough in the freezer and Chiquita's school sold Little Caesar's for a fundraiser so now I have LOTS of crazy bread, cheesy bread and pepperoni pizza.  

    Ideally a vegetable will enter my house at  some point.
    STARMOON44OliveOilsMomcharlotte989875ei34
  • Not too much of anything.  I think I'm going to have to come into work this weekend to get an analysis finished, but I have the template going, so it shouldn't take too long.  Waiting to find out if I'm having company tonight or not, but relaxing either way.  Definitely going to pick up my first birthday present to myself tonight (my Bowie print is in) and figuring out how to flatten it out.

    Otherwise just prep cooking, laundry, and doing some cleaning.  

    Drama:
    I have a friend whose boundary I pushed too hard.  I apologized and promised to try and do better.  The boundary I pushed is about his heath, which he refuses to share anything about until it's, "I'm going in for brain surgery that I might not survive and my instructions are for you to become my cat's caregiver if I don't.  Also, if the cat doesn't end up with you, you'll know I survived, but I won't be talking to anyone for a few months b/c I'll have to undergo a lot of speech and physical therapy after the surgery".  This is literally the conversation I had with him 2 years ago, literally the day before he drove out of town for the surgery.

    I didn't know he was alive for sure, except that I didn't have the cat, until January 2020 (surgery in Fall 2019) when he finally reached out (and I waited for him to do so).  I know he's still undergoing chemo for it b/c of side comments he'll make about regular visits to the hospital/doctor and how hard that's been with covid.  I have pushed against it twice in the 18 months this has been going on.  AITA for thinking that my boundary is also "you're one of my best friends and while I want to respect this boundary, I also think a 6 month check in is also you respecting how I feel about you." 

    IDK, it's definitely put up a wall and while I am sorry and I do intend to not push again, I also kind of feel like he's an asshole for getting mad that I care and putting the wall in place.  I know he's intensely private and I want to respect that; I also want to have a little bit of knowledge about what is happening, every now and then.  I had to take him some groceries not too long ago b/c he ran a fever and, between chemo and covid, his doctors get nervous and he couldn't go out and grocery delivery was going to take too long for what he needed.  I feel like I definitely do my job as a friend and feel like I deserve a bit of info, just a check in like, "Yeah, still doing chemo, it seems to be going well, X months left."  I'd like details, but I know he's not giving them, so that's fine.
  • @STARMOON44 alternatively, you could always try to drink more and forget too. 😘😘😘
    STARMOON44MyNameIsNotcharlotte989875
  • VarunaTT said:
    Not too much of anything.  I think I'm going to have to come into work this weekend to get an analysis finished, but I have the template going, so it shouldn't take too long.  Waiting to find out if I'm having company tonight or not, but relaxing either way.  Definitely going to pick up my first birthday present to myself tonight (my Bowie print is in) and figuring out how to flatten it out.

    Otherwise just prep cooking, laundry, and doing some cleaning.  

    Drama:
    I have a friend whose boundary I pushed too hard.  I apologized and promised to try and do better.  The boundary I pushed is about his heath, which he refuses to share anything about until it's, "I'm going in for brain surgery that I might not survive and my instructions are for you to become my cat's caregiver if I don't.  Also, if the cat doesn't end up with you, you'll know I survived, but I won't be talking to anyone for a few months b/c I'll have to undergo a lot of speech and physical therapy after the surgery".  This is literally the conversation I had with him 2 years ago, literally the day before he drove out of town for the surgery.

    I didn't know he was alive for sure, except that I didn't have the cat, until January 2020 (surgery in Fall 2019) when he finally reached out (and I waited for him to do so).  I know he's still undergoing chemo for it b/c of side comments he'll make about regular visits to the hospital/doctor and how hard that's been with covid.  I have pushed against it twice in the 18 months this has been going on.  AITA for thinking that my boundary is also "you're one of my best friends and while I want to respect this boundary, I also think a 6 month check in is also you respecting how I feel about you." 

    IDK, it's definitely put up a wall and while I am sorry and I do intend to not push again, I also kind of feel like he's an asshole for getting mad that I care and putting the wall in place.  I know he's intensely private and I want to respect that; I also want to have a little bit of knowledge about what is happening, every now and then.  I had to take him some groceries not too long ago b/c he ran a fever and, between chemo and covid, his doctors get nervous and he couldn't go out and grocery delivery was going to take too long for what he needed.  I feel like I definitely do my job as a friend and feel like I deserve a bit of info, just a check in like, "Yeah, still doing chemo, it seems to be going well, X months left."  I'd like details, but I know he's not giving them, so that's fine.
    @VarunaTT your comment reminds me of the Prudie letter.  Ideally he SHOULD share this because he wants you there when it's awful or to be somewhat aware but you're not getting the entire story. 

    As I saw with my own parents, the lack of telling is often from a need for privacy and a place of love and it's not meant with ill intent but intentions and how the actions are perceived are often different in cases like this. 
    VarunaTTmrsconn23OliveOilsMomcharlotte989875
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2021
    Oh boy, sounds like a lot of people are glad it's Friday.  May all the coffee take you through the day.  

    I talked to one of my BFF's last night (the one that's *still* trying to get divorced...which I'm always sure I can't hate her STBXH more, but it always gets worse). She's doing OK in spite of his bullshit.  I just want to be able to see her again and the sooner he GTFO, the sooner we can.  

    I think I'm going to get some downtime tonight since DH is going to take DefConn to hang with FIL for a little bit tonight.  We're going to look at flooring tomorrow and hopefully making a decision. DH and DefConn need to make DefConn's pinewood derby car.  We also need to pick out paint and a new showerhead.  We've also decided on a kitchen knife set and I think we're going to order it this weekend (belated Christmas gift to each other).  I also need to put together DH and DefConn's valentines and buy a couple more things for both of them.  

    What I really want this weekend is to carve out time for my stitching project and watching Firefly Lane.  ((fingers crossed)) 
    OliveOilsMomcharlotte989875
  • @banana468 I can so see both sides of it and I definitely think I AITA at times; I also think he's being a bit of the asshole too.  IDK really what to do, TBH.  I just don't think it's okay to drop bombs in my lap when you need me (take care of my cat if I die, please get me groceries), but also refuse to share any sort of tidbits at all when you're not in need, either.  I would be open to "hey, let's do a 6 month check in, just so Varuna can have some peace about this" and keep my mouth shut (uncomfortably so) the rest of the time, but he's unwilling to compromise even that much as evidenced by his behavior the 2 times I did push.  Hell, the first time I pushed was when I found out it was a damn brain tumor, he didn't even tell me what the surgery was that he was getting.

    IDK, I think I might've just hit the end of my patience with this and he has too, so maybe it's just got to be what it is now.  I hate that b/c I do care about him, but I feel very something about all of it.
    charlotte989875
  • @VarunaTT, I think you've done more than enough 'penance' for the sin of prying too much.  I don't think it's fair that he's shut you out completely, but still 'needs' you when it's convenient for him.  I think you'd be well within your right to tell him you need more in order to continue to be part of his support system.  
    charlotte989875OliveOilsMomSTARMOON44
  • Oh here I am being podcast girl again, but "What A Day" has an interview with Fauci that gave me a lot of hope about the post-mass vaccination world.  He also broke down why some variants are more concerning than others and what they're doing about boosters and/or incorporating fighting them into future vaccines. It made me even more excited to roll up my sleeve as soon as I am eligible.  
    charlotte989875short+sassyOliveOilsMom
  • @short+sassy a year or two ago someone put together a birthday list in a mom group I'm in (the group was when were all pregnant at the same time). I was looking at the list and thought to myself "wow a lot of people have November birthdays, that's crazy how many there are".  Until I realized well DUH there are a lot of Nov because that's when we were all due so most of our kids were born that month. Ooops.  I was, ummm, perhaps 30 years past my 7th birtday...
    charlotte989875short+sassyOliveOilsMomei34
  • NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2021
    Has anyone been following the Gorilla Glue saga? She finally got all of it out of her hair after a 4 hour surgery 🥴

    Nothing too major this weekend. We have this awkward closet by the laundry room that I want to turn into an appliance closet. I think we’re going to pick out paint colors this weekend and start to draw up plans to add shelving and under the cabinet lighting. We just got a new miter saw and I can’t wait to use it! 

    DH is unhappy with his contract at work so we had a long talk about potentially moving back to the Midwest which would make my heart so happy. I’m not getting my hopes up, but a girl can dream! 
    MyNameIsNotOliveOilsMom
  • @VarunaTT are you communicating between these times or do you go months without any communication and it is then either you checking on his condition or him asking for something? I feel like that sways my answer a bit 
    charlotte989875
  • kvruns said:
    @short+sassy a year or two ago someone put together a birthday list in a mom group I'm in (the group was when were all pregnant at the same time). I was looking at the list and thought to myself "wow a lot of people have November birthdays, that's crazy how many there are".  Until I realized well DUH there are a lot of Nov because that's when we were all due so most of our kids were born that month. Ooops.  I was, ummm, perhaps 30 years past my 7th birtday...
    Also, aren’t most later half of November babies products  of Valentine’s Day rendezvous?

    kerbohl
  • kvruns said:
    @VarunaTT are you communicating between these times or do you go months without any communication and it is then either you checking on his condition or him asking for something? I feel like that sways my answer a bit 
    We are what I would've considered first circle friends and communicated a lot as well as going out to dinner at least once a week if not more.  After this last pushing, communication has gone down to nearly nothing (except maybe a few nerd meme shares) and no dinners for...3 weeks?  Since it happened anyway.  That's how I always knew about the...my perception is at least weekly, hospital visits and multiple doctor calls/visits.
    kvruns
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