Dear Prudence,
I’m a non-binary person who has found empowerment by embracing femininity. Or so I thought! I recently started my first office job, in which it appears that I’m the only person who has ever mentioned being trans or non-binary. Even HR is unsure of how to deal with it. My coworkers were supportive when I came out, but the they/them pronouns I’ve asked everyone to use just aren’t sticking. It’s tough correcting people because when I’m misgendered, it’s usually in the context of a compliment, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the praise. But every time I hold back I feel like it’s telling my team that it’s OK to keep using she/her. I don’t want to buzz my head or stop wearing makeup or spend money on masculine clothes I don’t like. And I think it’s silly to change my appearance in order to be respected. How can I push my well-meaning cis coworkers to remember to use my pronouns? Would it be passive-aggressive to wear a they/them pin? How do I gently correct people—alone or in groups—when they misgender me?
—Non-Binary at Work