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Wedding Woes
VarunaTT
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Monday
I hope everyone's weekend was good. I didn't do much, honestly. A friend (my kayaking buddy) came over on Saturday, b/c she basically refuses to let me hermit all the time. We just hung out, chatted, drank wine, and then watched a movie. It ended up we could've gone kayaking on Sunday, but if we hadn't canceled, we probably would've been rained out. Such is MO weather.
I psyched myself out on Sunday and didn't go to brunch. I knew it'd be a big group of people, all friends, most of whom don't know about the last 6 months of hell I've lived through, b/c that's all been tier 1 friends info. And I just didn't want to face, "Where's K?" and all of the other shit. My friend seemed to understand; I hope she's not too miffed. She had plenty of people there and she's usually sensitive to mental health issues. At the same time, I have to start getting the hell out of my apartment on the weekend and not just to the bars. So, I reached out to a dear friend of many years, that I don't get to see that often. We've planned a dinner date at a new restaurant that we both want to try for the 28th. Hopefully dipping my toe into those waters, will make it easier. (ETA: why can I go to a somewhat busy bar where I know no one w/no issues but a room full of friends was like....gaaaaaaaaaah).
I've also got him doing some investigating for me. There's a woman that I worked with during Pride who I've always nursed a crush on. I had been introduced to her partner though (and I was with K), so it was just a crush. However, her social media now seems to be very "single" feeling. This friend used to work with her. He's also still a cis dude though, so when I asked him if he knew if she was single, he said, "IDK, I just messaged her for you." Thanks, J. Thanks for the subtlety.
Otherwise, SSDD at work.
I psyched myself out on Sunday and didn't go to brunch. I knew it'd be a big group of people, all friends, most of whom don't know about the last 6 months of hell I've lived through, b/c that's all been tier 1 friends info. And I just didn't want to face, "Where's K?" and all of the other shit. My friend seemed to understand; I hope she's not too miffed. She had plenty of people there and she's usually sensitive to mental health issues. At the same time, I have to start getting the hell out of my apartment on the weekend and not just to the bars. So, I reached out to a dear friend of many years, that I don't get to see that often. We've planned a dinner date at a new restaurant that we both want to try for the 28th. Hopefully dipping my toe into those waters, will make it easier. (ETA: why can I go to a somewhat busy bar where I know no one w/no issues but a room full of friends was like....gaaaaaaaaaah).
I've also got him doing some investigating for me. There's a woman that I worked with during Pride who I've always nursed a crush on. I had been introduced to her partner though (and I was with K), so it was just a crush. However, her social media now seems to be very "single" feeling. This friend used to work with her. He's also still a cis dude though, so when I asked him if he knew if she was single, he said, "IDK, I just messaged her for you." Thanks, J. Thanks for the subtlety.
Otherwise, SSDD at work.
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Re: Monday
Saturday Chiquito had a baseball game at a new field in town. The field is great and is designed for special needs with special needs but when not booked for any activities related to special needs it's open to other groups. Seeing the baseball field on turf and areas clearly marked is a huge help for a new kiddo learning.
On the way to the game the road to the field the main road we take was blocked. We detoured around and found out that there was a 2 alarm fire at a local business. It unfortunately went up in flames and you could smell the smoke from the field. I caught up with my neighbor this morning who is a volunteer on the FD and she was there fighting it and said it was indeed big.
After the game we took the kids for ice cream, a walk to the local boardwalk and a smell of salt air. We walked a bit, saw some local street vendors and then headed home so I could get out and buy some flowers. Our yard doesn't have a lot of great sun for flowers but we have a small bed in the front and coleus and impatiens do OK there. I picked up some on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon was a planting palooza. Holy thighs batman!
It's a busy week with games and play rehearsals for both kids and finalizing dining reservations for our trip!
Saturday my mum came over for a visit. We spent 90% of the time outside because it was so beautiful. We found an empty playground. BK didn't wanna play much at the park, she just wanted to roam and run around the field. And pick dandelions lol.
Yes. We are at the dandelion stage lol
We had BK walking home, but once she realized where she was going she basically turned around and ran back to the field lmao
My mum convinced her to get back in the trike, and we took a new route. Surprisingly that worked lol
She napped really good lol
Sunday we got out for a bit. She didn't wanna go to the park, she wanted to hang in front with her rocks lol
BIL got on my friggen nerves over our weekly facetime call.
SFIL has neuro issues - he's 6'8" so it's started with smacking his head, and not going well due to stress of his job, etc. BIL was saying "oh you don't take care of yourself. You wouldn't have so many issues if you took care of yourself"
And honestly, maybe a small amount? But seriously I wanted to interject saying that it's pretty presumptuous of this. Neuro issues are weird. My dad had them. He ate healthy and didn't have a car, so he walked everywhere. It didn't change whether he was on meds or saw doctors.
As I said to M, if M had said any of this BIL would have been on him about it.
Like, wtf?
And the beginning, BIL is like "oh we've been doing these calls for a year and you don't have a system to prop up the phone"
Bruh, we don't even have a fucking coffee table.
Then it turned into the BIL show - as I've been saying it does every time for the past few months - and M is starting to be annoyed.
For almost 45min, it was BIL on a soap box about shit. M & I wanted to hang up because we just didn't wanna fucking hear it.
/end rant
We had to drop the crib more at that point.
@banana468 when is your trip?
@MissKittyDanger do you do calls with only BIL or are other people involved?
My week has been pretty good. Friday was DS's first swim lesson at our neighbors house. It went well, he is not great at following instructions or paying attention to the coach but he's 2 so I am not losing sleep over it.
DH had a recruiter reach out to him about a job in the states. He applied because he wants to move back and I am 50/50 on it. The job is for the Dept Head of some research group (or something like that) at a well known university and I am worried that he would be dissatisfied with not doing technical work himself. He took on a management role when we lived in Atlanta and he hated it. But the university is located in a great town, that I wouldn't actually mind moving to soooo... 50/50.
DS woke up this morning with the sniffles and a little cough. He had a fever at one point but mostly he is just congestion. FX it resolves itself quickly.
It's because M's grampa doesn't live in the city and with covid he did wanna visit people so we started a weekly facetime call
Besides wearing masks in public, we don't really take any precautions anymore but I also trust places to be sanitized and people to do their part here. I am just not sure what (if any) are reasonable precautions to take there.
As far as scary, it's still somewhat touch and go where I live, which is Trump country which is why I take the precautions I do. The hospital here that received so much praise for building a ward style wing for covid patients had celebrated being empty...and then they had to open it back up a few weeks ago. However, no one has died from covid here in awhile, I know it's been at least 3 weeks.
I say do what you're comfortable with. Why does his precious "I'm not going to be vaccinated" feelings get precedence over your "I am uninterested in being around a possibly infectious disease" feelings?
Work is quiet ... so far. I'd like to take half of Friday off for an extra long weekend, but somehow I don't think it will happen. I'm going to push for it - I've done an awful lot of overtime.
DD’s birthday was really nice. The weather has been that beautiful quintessential spring weather...60s/low 70s, sun but not scorching, no bugs or humidity yet. We’re supposed to hit 80 by the end of the week so trying to enjoy spring now. STBXH has been kind of annoying, especially after the kids go to sleep, so I’m just glad to be at work.
@missJeanLouise there’s a lot of variety right now IMO, people who think it’s too soon to unmask, people who thought masking was unnecessary from the start, and a lot of in between. My only personal difference with my pod (my parents, siblings, their spouses and kids) is that we’ve been spending some time indoors unmasked, although we are trying to stay outdoors since the oldest kid is my DD who just turned seven so they’re all unvaccinated, even though all of us adults are now.
I feel good that I am vaccinated as is DH. However we're seeing that people who are vaccinated are testing positive (8 Yankees tested + last week. All had the J&J which is what DH received). I am comfortable going indoors and unmasked with vaccinated family members and my kids. I will not bring my kids inside and unmasked if there are unvaccinated people inside. That will mean that gatherings that my kids have with friends must be outdoors.
And I'm in a similar situation as you @missJeanLouise. BIL announced that he and his family are visiting in early July. It's already two weeks before we will be going on vacation and work has been intense lately. I told my ILs that I'm not taking more vacation time. DH can decide to do what he wants to do with his.
I mentioned this in another thread but DH mentioned to his dad that we just aren't comfortable doing indoor events with BIL and SIL if they aren't vaccinated. They have 3 kids too young to be vaccinated, our two are too young to be vaccinated and they are planning to go to a party before heading out here, to visit DH's grandmother (which will mean seeing an aunt and possible additional cousins) and may even see other family members in another state. I won't stop them but will take the precautions and guidance issued. And while the guidance is stating that we can go unmasked if vaccinated I am not planning to treat those I know who are unvaccinated as if they are. It means that our gatherings with them HAVE to be outside and doing so is for the safety of their kids as it is for ours.
BIL and DH haven't discussed this so I continue to cross my fingers that he understands our needs to be cautious.
In regards to masking/vaccines, I would do whatever you’re most comfortable with. I suspect the vaccine approval for children (<12) isn’t too far off but I don’t think it will happen by your trip. Zero qualms about telling someone who’s all anti-vaccines/anti-mask to shove it because they can’t fathom why you would want to protect yourself or your vulnerable child. In personal terms, I pretty much live more like Varuna. I don’t mask around people who are already vaccinated inside. But I’ll continue to mask up in super crowded spaces or indoor spaces where social distancing is impossible. I’m really not comfortable with indoor restaurant eating yet. Just because my vaccine is showing pretty strong against the variants doesn’t mean I necessarily want to put that theory to the test.
As for vaccinating and gathering @missJeanLouise, I'm pretty much like others. With people who are fully vaccinated we are maskless inside and outside. If we are unsure or know people are unvaccinated we either stay clear or are masked with distance. We don't have young children at home but I obviously have unvaccinated grandchildren that I see regularly and want to keep doing so. I also have no patience for people who refuse to get vaccinated. In my friend group, they are all vaccinated so I don't have issues. Matter of fact, DD has let several family friends come over to see the baby because they have all been vaccinated.
I also plan to do nothing about it for awhile.
I've already lived out the first date and ensuing breakup in my head now.
[actual pic of me thinking about your suggestion, muppet face for real]