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Re: Tuesday

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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    CharmedPam said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    CharmedPam said:
    Funny all this alcohol conversation is coming up.  M called me an alcoholic on Sunday.
    I’m still processing it. 
    In jest is one thing, but if he means it...that's a lot.  And also, out of line. 
    Oh, he meant it.  He usually drinks a beer or two.  So it was a case of anyone who drinks more than that - is an alcoholic to him.  Usually I match his 2 for 2 when we go out... but Saturday I over indulged and enjoyed myself at a comedy club *gasp*.  I hate when people misuse that word.  This is why I’m still processing it.
    Heaven forbid you - an adult who makes choices - should drink more than your spouse.
    Urg ....

    I'm guilty for misusing the term in the past even for knowing 100% I was misusing it
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    missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    MIL told me that her husband told her that she was an alcoholic because she wanted to have a glass of wine after long days at the hospital and anyone who drinks every day is an alcoholic. Meanwhile he was an awful  binge drinker but that was fine since it wasn't every day. Like someone else said, his relationship with alcohol is not your relationship with alcohol. So annoying.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    missJeanLouise said:
    MIL told me that her husband told her that she was an alcoholic because she wanted to have a glass of wine after long days at the hospital and anyone who drinks every day is an alcoholic. Meanwhile he was an awful  binge drinker but that was fine since it wasn't every day. Like someone else said, his relationship with alcohol is not your relationship with alcohol. So annoying.
    What a dick.

    It took SIL/BFF a long time to figure out that she's actually an alcoholic that cannot have alcohol ever because she was binge drinker that didn't drink every day, but any time she did drink it was very ugly.  She and I got in massive fights (almost physical on some occasions) and we were at our most strained when I was MOH in her wedding, which I almost dropped out of after her bach party since we had a blowout fight.  
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    edited June 2021
    missJeanLouise said:
    MIL told me that her husband told her that she was an alcoholic because she wanted to have a glass of wine after long days at the hospital and anyone who drinks every day is an alcoholic. Meanwhile he was an awful  binge drinker but that was fine since it wasn't every day. Like someone else said, his relationship with alcohol is not your relationship with alcohol. So annoying.
    Idk how different it is now, but before binge drinkers are harder to diagnose as alcoholics because they can go such a long time without drinking so rehab doesn't always work.
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    missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    missJeanLouise said:
    MIL told me that her husband told her that she was an alcoholic because she wanted to have a glass of wine after long days at the hospital and anyone who drinks every day is an alcoholic. Meanwhile he was an awful  binge drinker but that was fine since it wasn't every day. Like someone else said, his relationship with alcohol is not your relationship with alcohol. So annoying.
    What a dick.

    It took SIL/BFF a long time to figure out that she's actually an alcoholic that cannot have alcohol ever because she was binge drinker that didn't drink every day, but any time she did drink it was very ugly.  She and I got in massive fights (almost physical on some occasions) and we were at our most strained when I was MOH in her wedding, which I almost dropped out of after her bach party since we had a blowout fight.  
    Same with DH. For a long time he was a "normal" american male drinker. But over time, and especially after DS was born and DH developed severe anxiety, he would spiral into some sort of disaster and quit drinking. Then he would drink casually again but it would eventually spiral out of control again. And the amount of time between starting and disaster was getting less and less until he finally figured out he just can't drink, not casually, not ever.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    edited June 2021
    I have definitely abused alcohol (even recently) but once the trauma wasn't actually occurring anymore, it goes back to normal usage.  My issue with it right now is that I want to achieve certain goals and going to hang out with people at a bar and the activity of drinking, doesn't equate into meeting those goals.  I need the support because it's going to mean disconnecting with some of them, b/c our relationships were built around this place and activity.  Not all relationships made in a bar can translate outside of it.

    For some people that might look like alcoholism.  My experience with alcoholics is a lot different (my father was the sort that drank the 24 pack of beer a night and had consequences from it his entire life), so I've done a lot of self examination about it.  I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I don't think alcohol serves me, so I'm cutting it out.  That does carry consequences though and that's what I need support with, not the product itself.

    Anyone not living in my shoes can shove it.

    ETA:  I forgot to say, I'm sorry @CharmedPam.  I think that stinks and I hope you guys can work through it.
    �
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    CasadenaCasadena member
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    Yikes @CharmedPam that sounds like a difficult thing to work through.  Hope you can process and talk it out if you want to. 

    My OB is sending me for an ultrasound this afternoon to check for blood clots in my left leg. He was a little concerned that the swelling and puffiness was primarily in one leg and not both and that it came back this morning.  Reached out by phone and email to reschedule my interview and haven't gotten a response yet.  Hopefully my leg is just normal pregnancy swelling and nothing major.  
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    edited June 2021
    Hello @NOLABridesmaid!  It's nice to "see" you again!

    @CharmedPam, For a 90DF analogy, I immediately flashed back to Jesse saying Darcey had a drinking problem.  That was very unfair of M!  It makes me wonder what his "definition" of an alcoholic is.  I guess someone who drinks more then he does, on occasion.

    Edited to add:  My memory is coming back.  Jesse told Darcey she couldn't drink any more alcohol ever again if she wanted to stay with him because of her "drinking problem", ie she often drank 1-2 glasses of wine.  Though I don't think he used the term "alcoholic".
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    Hi NOLA!!!!  I hope things are going well for you and the little one.  :)
    �
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    banana468banana468 member
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    Hey there @NOLABridesmaid! 

    @Casadena good luck!  Blood clots in pregnancy can be scary.  If it's warm by you hopefully it's just summer water retention but it's so much better to be safe.  I am not saying this to scare you because you're going but last year when SIL was expecting she kept experiencing what she thought was just pulled muscles in her back.  They were pulmonary embolisms. 

    FWIW, if you're not an expert in substance abuse then you shouldn't act like one.   I will say that after one time about 18 mo ago when DH seriously went heavy on the bourbon (and puked out the car window as I drove 2 hours home) I did ask him the next day if he thought he had an issue only because it was SO bad.  He said no.  He was right, and now neither of us try to over do it. 

    It's one thing to be concerned and it's another to be a new expert.  
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    HI @NOLABridesmaid!!! Hope you and your cutie are enjoying summer break.  
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    My thrifty deals for the day

    Amazon is having a special right now where if you spend $10 or more with a "small business" through June 20th, they will send you an e-mail good for $10 that you can use during their Prime days that are coming up (June 21-June 22).  That $10 off can be used on almost anything.  It doesn't have to be a "small business" or a "Prime Day" deal.  You have to be a Prime member to take advantage.

    I just made my small business purchase...loaded up on a 40-pod coffee variety pack (Two Rivers)...and got my e-mail for $10 off a Prime Day purchase a short while later.  I clicked through the e-mail to "claim it".  And now it is sitting in my account waiting for Prime Day.  According to the instructions, it will automatically take $10 off my purchase during those days.

    I also signed up for T-Mobile Money.  I have Metro PCS but, recently, those customers like myself have been able to take advantage of T-Mobile's freebie Tues. offers and apparently T-Mobile Money.  It pays a 4% interest rate on balances up to $3K, when there are at least 10 purchases made from the account per month!  And 1% interest for all other monies.  That's pretty awesome!  When was the last time you could get 4% interest on a basic checking account?  Maybe the early 80s, lol?  Not that I'm complaining, because that's what keeps interest rates on loans lower also.  But now people can have the best of both worlds.  Or at least they can up to $3K, lol.
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    MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    Great to see you @NOLABridesmaid!  
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    CharmedPam said:
    Hi @NOLABridesmaid!  Those are the best messes to have!

    Thanks everyone.  I did google “signs of an alcoholic” and was like “naaaaw, I don’t fit any of those characteristics.  I had a lot of martini’s that night because they were delicious and on sale!” Lol

    i didn’t watch the Jesse and darcey years.  Did she stay with him long after that? 
    If they have the Jesse/Darcey relationship on that Discovery+ "Journeys" show, you need to check it out!  There's a reason she's a fan favorite and has been on multiple seasons.  And it all started with Jesse.

    I can't remember if he said that on her first or second trip to Amsterdam.  If it was the first trip, that was the beginning of their "in person" relationship.  They were together for another 2-3 years after that.  If it was her second trip, they were still together for another year or so.  90DF time is "fuzzy", lol.
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    VarunaTT said:
    I have definitely abused alcohol (even recently) but once the trauma wasn't actually occurring anymore, it goes back to normal usage.  My issue with it right now is that I want to achieve certain goals and going to hang out with people at a bar and the activity of drinking, doesn't equate into meeting those goals.  I need the support because it's going to mean disconnecting with some of them, b/c our relationships were built around this place and activity.  Not all relationships made in a bar can translate outside of it.

    For some people that might look like alcoholism.  My experience with alcoholics is a lot different (my father was the sort that drank the 24 pack of beer a night and had consequences from it his entire life), so I've done a lot of self examination about it.  I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I don't think alcohol serves me, so I'm cutting it out.  That does carry consequences though and that's what I need support with, not the product itself.

    Anyone not living in my shoes can shove it.

    ETA:  I forgot to say, I'm sorry @CharmedPam.  I think that stinks and I hope you guys can work through it.
    I’ll just add that this is such an important thing that you don’t have to be an alcoholic to not want to drink! There’s nothing wrong with being sober for whatever reason or absolutely no reason at all. 

    America has SUCH a drinking problem in that we think it’s a problem if people aren’t drinking, and aren’t drinking a lot. I’m finding I feel better when I’m not drinking or drinking less. It’s working for me, right now but it doesn’t mean I won’t have a drink (or more!) in the future. I know a lot of sober friends who have gotten so much shit about why they don’t drink and I’ve never been asked why I do drink. 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Good luck with cutting down @VarunaTT. I don't teetotal but I seldom drink. I've just found that I don't care forit.

    @MissKittyDanger, good luck to BK!

    Trying to juggle job hunting with a bad job situation. Yesterday really sucked. Today is a bit better, but I feel like the onboarding here is so bumpy that it would be very hard for anyone to get off to a good start here. No bites with jobs though.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    VarunaTT said:
    I have definitely abused alcohol (even recently) but once the trauma wasn't actually occurring anymore, it goes back to normal usage.  My issue with it right now is that I want to achieve certain goals and going to hang out with people at a bar and the activity of drinking, doesn't equate into meeting those goals.  I need the support because it's going to mean disconnecting with some of them, b/c our relationships were built around this place and activity.  Not all relationships made in a bar can translate outside of it.

    For some people that might look like alcoholism.  My experience with alcoholics is a lot different (my father was the sort that drank the 24 pack of beer a night and had consequences from it his entire life), so I've done a lot of self examination about it.  I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I don't think alcohol serves me, so I'm cutting it out.  That does carry consequences though and that's what I need support with, not the product itself.

    Anyone not living in my shoes can shove it.

    ETA:  I forgot to say, I'm sorry @CharmedPam.  I think that stinks and I hope you guys can work through it.
    I’ll just add that this is such an important thing that you don’t have to be an alcoholic to not want to drink! There’s nothing wrong with being sober for whatever reason or absolutely no reason at all. 

    America has SUCH a drinking problem in that we think it’s a problem if people aren’t drinking, and aren’t drinking a lot. I’m finding I feel better when I’m not drinking or drinking less. It’s working for me, right now but it doesn’t mean I won’t have a drink (or more!) in the future. I know a lot of sober friends who have gotten so much shit about why they don’t drink and I’ve never been asked why I do drink. 
    Agreed!

    We need to remind ourselves that not everyone who is turning down alcohol is in recovery or pregnant. 

    That said, I will reiterate that we need to break from the negative judging too.  If I am well fed and well hydrated and I had one hard seltzer 30 minutes ago then unclasp your hands from your pearls while I get ready to drive.   
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
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    Jen4948 said:
    Good luck with cutting down @VarunaTT. I don't teetotal but I seldom drink. I've just found that I don't care forit.

    @MissKittyDanger, good luck to BK!

    Trying to juggle job hunting with a bad job situation. Yesterday really sucked. Today is a bit better, but I feel like the onboarding here is so bumpy that it would be very hard for anyone to get off to a good start here. No bites with jobs though.
    You can't seem to catch a break!  I hope you find something better quickly!

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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    edited June 2021
    short+sassy said:
    Hello @NOLABridesmaid!  It's nice to "see" you again!

    @CharmedPam, For a 90DF analogy, I immediately flashed back to Jesse saying Darcey had a drinking problem.  That was very unfair of M!  It makes me wonder what his "definition" of an alcoholic is.  I guess someone who drinks more then he does, on occasion.

    Edited to add:  My memory is coming back.  Jesse told Darcey she couldn't drink any more alcohol ever again if she wanted to stay with him because of her "drinking problem", ie she often drank 1-2 glasses of wine.  Though I don't think he used the term "alcoholic".
    Found the 90 Day journey with her in it! Liking it so far, and yeah he made her promise to never drink anymore. It was the same time he gave her the “appreciation ring” while on bended knee... lmao

    also she looks a lot better with no/little make up and dark hair. 

    Edit to add: actually, watching further, he called her an alcoholic a few times during the seasons. Thanks for the recommendation to watch this.  I’m feeling the feels. 

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