Wedding Woes

Leave the review, especially if you never plan to return.

Dear Prudence,

I recently volunteered on an organic farm. When I was working in the fields with the owner, he mentioned that many of the volunteers are overweight and don’t understand anything about nutrition and won’t listen to him about it. He told me that one woman “gobbles down dry granola for breakfast every morning” and ridiculed her “unhealthy” method of cooking eggs, adding “no wonder she’s 30 pounds overweight.” He also complained, “I can’t say anything to her, because you can’t give any weight or diet advice to a young woman today.” Then he told me I was overweight, too.

Now that my volunteer time is over, the farm has asked me to leave a review. In general I learned a lot and was treated well, but I am concerned about the fatphobia that the owner exhibited. Do I have a duty to disclose this information on the website if I leave a review? Should I decline to leave one? If it were racist comments, I wouldn’t have any doubts as to what to do, but I’m torn here.

— Farming While Fat

Re: Leave the review, especially if you never plan to return.

  • Exactly what the title says.  If you have no anticipation of going back or needing them in the future for anything, tell the truth.

  • Tell the truth, this farmer is really overstepping and is gross. 
  • Yup. Leave an honest review. Say what you learned AND that you were subject to fatphobic comments. You don’t owe them silence on their bad behavior. 
  • There's nothing wrong with leaving a review that is neither wholly positive nor wholly negative. You can say what was good about your time at the farm while adding the caveat that you found the owner's fatphobic comments inappropriate. That way, others can decide whether that's something they want to risk dealing with or not.
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  • In leaving the review I'd be honest.  Mention the good and the bad.   The farm should know that the editorial comments aren't appreciated while also knowing what they did do that was constructive. 
  • Be honest. You know this is wrong and you know others will appreciate being warned. 

    Also, F&(* this farmer. You're running a business with the help of volunteer labor and you have the audacity to insult the volunteers? Go choke on a carrot. 
    Yes this. 


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  • levioosa said:
    Be honest. You know this is wrong and you know others will appreciate being warned. 

    Also, F&(* this farmer. You're running a business with the help of volunteer labor and you have the audacity to insult the volunteers? Go choke on a carrot. 
    Yes this. 
    Yep.  Team 'burn it down'.  

    It's fucked up that 'at least it's not racism' is a reason to not address/call out abusive and problematic behavior.  Being disparaging about someone, especially under these circumstances where they're volunteers and you're the 'boss', is awful and should be brought to light. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    He’s crazy rude and out of line and I’d definitely mention it in a review.
  • Be honest. You know this is wrong and you know others will appreciate being warned. 

    Also, F&(* this farmer. You're running a business with the help of volunteer labor and you have the audacity to insult the volunteers? Go choke on a carrot. 
    The more I read this the more I lean towards it!  

    Maybe not "burn it down" but if you have a volunteer program and you're insulting those who volunteer you need a lesson in how to treat others! 
  • I've done some in fields.  It is very physical, back-breaking labour.  If these volunteers are able to do it, they are in good physical health.  Farmer is one of two things: an idiot, or someone who is concerned about their own weight and is projecting.

  • My response to the guy after the fatphobic comment, "I thought you were a farmer, not a doctor.  Am I mistaken about that?"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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