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Find a new roommate as soon as you can.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I’m a woman in my 20s living with a roommate. She’s mostly a good roommate, but she doesn’t have many friends, and seems to want me to fix that for her. Whenever I visit a friend or chat over Zoom, she’ll always hint that she wants to join. She also says I should invite her to more things so that she can meet people. Thing is, I do invite her to a few events each month, and we hang out in our apartment, but I can’t get any space from her. She never leaves our apartment except for errands, and sits in our living room all day where she can monitor my comings and goings (and guilt me as I’m walking out the door). I’ve suggested joining local groups or meetups (individually or together), but she refuses. Is it wrong to want some space of my own?

— There Are Plenty of People to Meet in My City

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Re: Find a new roommate as soon as you can.

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I’m a woman in my 20s living with a roommate. She’s mostly a good roommate, but she doesn’t have many friends, and seems to want me to fix that for her. Whenever I visit a friend or chat over Zoom, she’ll always hint that she wants to join. She also says I should invite her to more things so that she can meet people. Thing is, I do invite her to a few events each month, and we hang out in our apartment, but I can’t get any space from her. She never leaves our apartment except for errands, and sits in our living room all day where she can monitor my comings and goings (and guilt me as I’m walking out the door). I’ve suggested joining local groups or meetups (individually or together), but she refuses. Is it wrong to want some space of my own?

    — There Are Plenty of People to Meet in My City

    You may want to be vocal with her about what makes you uncomfortable.  And you may want to do that once you have a new lease. 
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The OP should have a friendly, CTJ talk with her roommate.  Something like, "Jane, I like you and I do invite you to a number of events ever month.  But we are already roommates and I don't want to be joined at the hip with you!  I need my own space also and I'm not going to invite you to everything, so please stop asking.  If you give it a little effort, you can have your own friend groups."  Then remind her again about local groups/meetups.
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This isn’t your responsibility and if she’s not doing anything to meet people & make friends that’s not on you. Talk to her, be clear but honestly I’d probably be looking for a new place once my lease was up. 
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