Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and his 18-year-old son live with me in a house my boyfriend and I rent from my parents. My parents have already told me that I will be receiving this house in their will. The 18-year-old has been in high school since January. My boyfriend and I had already discussed that his son would have to be working full time or going to post-secondary school and begin paying a small rental fee to continue to live with us once his schooling was done. He graduated last week at the end of May. He very rarely leaves his room or this house, except to see friends and has never held a part-time job for more than a couple weeks. He quite literally plays games in his room all day and night and does not help around the house or yard at all. In fact, most days I am cleaning up after him, doing his dishes, and I’m also still expected to cook for him and his girlfriend as well.
My boyfriend gets upset and enraged if I even bring up the subject of us trying to maybe more than a little forcefully encourage his son to find work and let him know he cannot continue to game day and night and sponge off of us. I pay all bills and get reimbursed, never on time, by my boyfriend for his portion of the bills. I’m not allowed to ever have an opinion or conversation with my boyfriend’s son letting him know he needs to get a job, but they are both living in what I feel is my house, as I pay for more of our bills and it’s my parents’ house. I’m starting to resent both of them and feel this might be a deal breaker. Am I being too harsh? I’m never allowed to discuss this as it just starts a fight so I feel trapped like a prisoner with no voice in my own home. What do I do?
— Voiceless in My Own Home