How to inform guests of new wedding date (3rd time!) ?

Re: How to inform guests of new wedding date (3rd time!) ?

• MobKaz member

  

  August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  My husband and I were engaged in early 2018 and shortly after we found out we were pregnant (with twin boys), so we eloped ! My husband is a French native and as we live here in the U.S. we decided we would have our formal wedding in France in 2020 when our twins would be almost 2 years old and our plan was to try for another baby in 2021 as we both wanted to try for a girl. But because of covid we had to  postpone our wedding and decided to postpone to 2021 (so we sent formal postponement cards by mail to our guests with our new date in 2021). But, towards end of 2020 when our boys turned 2 and covid wasn't getting any better, we were nervous we would have to postpone again but more than that we still wanted to try for our baby girl (which covid was kind of ruining the plan for us), and so by the end of 2020 we decided to try and see what happens and go from there. About a month later we found out we were pregnant (with a girl!), so we decided to postpone the wedding further. Since we had to postpone again we decided to send digital (email) postponements to our guests and kept it vague and basically said we believe our special day is worth the wait and that would make new plans when we feel the time is right. 
  
  We ended up moving our wedding to May 2023 - however we haven't yet informed our guests of the new date yet (as life has been a little hectic lol) - so we were planning on sending another email, but haven't quite found the words and we don't exactly want to send another "save the date" as we feel like we sent 2 already (one for our initial date in 2020 and then another for the 2021 date). So what would be the best wording to use to inform our guests of our new date in May 2023 (which is DEFINITELY happening and we are so thrilled because now our twin boys will be 4 and will be our ring bearers and our sweet baby girl will be  20mo old and will be our darling flower girl - makes us SO happy to have our children apart of our special day!)
  
  Thanks for reading and any suggestions would be appreciated !
  
  Merci !

  You can’t move up a “wedding date” if you have been married for 5 years.  

  
  

  Shortly after the hustle and bustle of the holidays and the new year, send a STD for your vow renewal.  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  August 2022

  Your daughter at 20 months old is too young for anything more than a few photos. Don't try to make her walk down the aisle or carry anything. And be prepared for all the children to let loose at any possible time.

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  August 2022

  I agree with @MobKaz. You will have already been married for 5 years by the time your event will occur. I'm sure your guests already know that so just plan a vow renewal or just a big party. 

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  August 2022

  Wouldn't you feel ridiculous standing there pretending to get married five years and three kids into your marriage? 
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  August 2022

  I also think it's pretty weird to have a full on "wedding" when you've been married for 5 years. 

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• banana468 member

  

  August 2022

  I think you need to be really clear to your guests that this is a vow renewal as you're married for 5 years and have 3 kids.  If this is also something like the convalidation or Sacramental marriage if your marriage is legal but not religiously binding make the comment. 
  
  But also, please have low expectations if your wedding requires international travel.  Even now I'm less likely to travel to Europe from the US for a wedding and the opportunity exists for me to do that this fall.  It's expensive, flights are a major issue and it's not really where I want to focus a heap of cash right now.  

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• maine7mob member

  

  August 2022

  Send an actual invitation. And send it early, like 3 months early, which is fairly typical for international invites.
  
  "Come celebrate our vow renewal with us!" Give the particulars. It's not a wedding, it's a party.
  
  Many of the people who might have come to a wedding in 2018 probably won't, but some may be thrilled to go to a party/vow renewal just because it's in France. I know I totally would. (We went to a religious wedding in the Netherlands a few months ago just because it gave us an excuse to go to EUROPE for fun. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't have planned a trip there, especially since we still had to test negative to return home.)

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  It is our formal wedding, not a vow renewal. As mentioned we eloped in 2018 and our formal wedding was planned in France for 2020 but then sadly covid hit so we were forced to postpone. Then yes we made the decision to further postpone to welcome our beautiful daughter into the world. So yes, we have been married for years but this is still very much our wedding as we never had one. And we are so ecstatic to finally have our special day happen and even more ecstatic our children will be apart of it.
  
  We have found the perfect words for our families and everyone is thrilled for us. ❤️ 
  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @MyNameIsNot
  Not at all ! it is going to be a dream of ours finally come true and we are full of joy that our three beautiful children will be apart of our special day! no one is pretending anything, everyone has a different story and there is no 'right way'. This just happens to be our story and we know our day is well worth the wait !!
  Best of wishes to you. 😊 

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @banana468
  It is our formal wedding, not vow renewal. We already booked our flight for our family of 5 ! We are so excited and cannot wait to see our family in France again soon! We are very fortunate. 
  Best of wishes to you. 😊

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022

  @MobKaz
  It is not vow renewals. It is our wedding (as mentioned we never had one). All of our families are aware of our situation and no one thinks of this as a vow renewal. That almost diminishes the importance of our day to call it that. There is no 'right way' and I would be weary to tell anyone they "can't" do something. Everyone has a different story. This happens to be ours and we are full of joy our special day is finally going to happen, even more happy our three beautiful children will be apart of it!  Best of wishes to you. 😊
  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @climbingsingle
  It is not a "wedding" it is our wedding (as mentioned, we never had one - thanks covid!). 
  We are very much looking forward to our special day and full of joy our children will be apart of it. Everyone has a different story and there is no "right way". This is our story and our way and we are full of joy! your feelings are your own 😉
  Best of wishes to you. 😊 

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022

  @Jen4948
  Yes our daughter will be 20 months and she is our flower girl ! 🥰 We never force our children to do anything. We will have many children at our wedding not just our own. We expect all of them to let loose 😉! The day will unfold how it will. We are fortunate to have such loving families who are so supportive and helpful. It will be a beautiful day whatever unfolds. Thanks and best wishes to you 😊
  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022

  @ILoveBeachMusic
  

  It is not a vow renewal, it is our wedding day, as mentioned we never had one and it was always our plan to have our formal wedding in France where my husband is from. Both our families are aware of our story and yet everyone is so thrilled for us.

  Everyone has a different story and there is no 'right way'. This just happens to be our story and we know our day is well worth the wait. We are so fortunate and grateful that our day can still happen and even better that our three beautiful children will be apart of it! The memories of our special day will be an imprint in our hearts forever. 

  Best of wishes to you. 😊 

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  @ILoveBeachMusic
  

  It is not a vow renewal, it is our wedding day, as mentioned we never had one and it was always our plan to have our formal wedding in France where my husband is from. Both our families are aware of our story and yet everyone is so thrilled for us.

  Everyone has a different story and there is no 'right way'. This just happens to be our story and we know our day is well worth the wait. We are so fortunate and grateful that our day can still happen and even better that our three beautiful children will be apart of it! The memories of our special day will be an imprint in our hearts forever. 

  Best of wishes to you. 😊 

  No one is saying you can't have your big celebration. However, since you have already been married it isn't a wedding. Your wedding day was when you elope (many people elope and don't have a big wedding celebration but that day is their wedding). A couple can only have one wedding day (unless they divorce and remarry). Your day in France will be special because you will have your family with you celebrating. Your wedding day is the day you got married five years ago and is on your wedding license (assuming you had one). I hope you have a wonderful celebration and that it is everything that you hope. 

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  We just don't look at it that way and no one in our family does. Everyone understands that this is our true wedding day and celebration. Our elopement here in the states was just the two of us and it was the day we were legally married (as we wanted to be legally married before our twins were born). But our formal wedding was always planned to take place in France with our families and we are beyond ecstatic that day is finally approaching! It will absolutely be a wonderful celebration,  thank you! 🍾 ❤️ 
  Best wishes to you. 😊

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• MobKaz member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  @MobKaz
  It is not vow renewals. It is our wedding (as mentioned we never had one). All of our families are aware of our situation and no one thinks of this as a vow renewal. That almost diminishes the importance of our day to call it that. There is no 'right way' and I would be weary to tell anyone they "can't" do something. Everyone has a different story. This happens to be ours and we are full of joy our special day is finally going to happen, even more happy our three beautiful children will be apart of it!  Best of wishes to you. 😊
  

  
  Words obviously matter to you.  You do not want to call it a vow renewal because that is not what "this" is to you.  However, YOUR words diminish all those who chose to elope or have a private wedding ceremony.  Their day was just as important as your renewal.
  
  A wedding is the ceremony of getting married.  It's wonderful you have this opportunity and even more so that you have so many guests willing to attend.  But unless this is a religious ceremony to convalidate your civil marriage, it is a vow renewal.  It's great that no one in your family "sees" it from that perspective.  As a wedding forum, however, these responses also bear a responsibility to those just starting out on this path toward wedding planning.
  
  ETA:  @I@ILoveBeachMusic asks a valid question.  You said it was important you were married prior to the birth of your twins.  Which anniversary will you recognize in terms of years married?
  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @MobKaz
  I am only speaking of our situation, if others elope and consider that their wedding, that is wonderful for them ! It just is not the case for us. We wanted to be legally married in the states where we reside prior to our twins being born but our formal wedding has always been set to take place in France. And yes, it will be a religious wedding. 
  
  And we will celebrate both dates and we even still celebrate the date we met 🥰! Great question!
  
  Best of wishes to you 😊.
  
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  @MobKaz
  I am only speaking of our situation, if others elope and consider that their wedding, that is wonderful for them ! It just is not the case for us. We wanted to be legally married in the states where we reside prior to our twins being born but our formal wedding has always been set to take place in France. And yes, it will be a religious wedding. 
  
  And we will celebrate both dates and we even still celebrate the date we met 🥰! Great question!
  
  Best of wishes to you 😊.
  
  

  
  I am now aware I am beating a dead horse, but "consider" is insulting.  An elopement ABSOLUTELY IS a wedding.  Congratulations on your convalidation.
  

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• levioosa member

  

  August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  It is our formal wedding, not a vow renewal. As mentioned we eloped in 2018 and our formal wedding was planned in France for 2020 but then sadly covid hit so we were forced to postpone. Then yes we made the decision to further postpone to welcome our beautiful daughter into the world. So yes, we have been married for years but this is still very much our wedding as we never had one. And we are so ecstatic to finally have our special day happen and even more ecstatic our children will be apart of it.
  
  We have found the perfect words for our families and everyone is thrilled for us. ❤️ 
  

  littleluckyme said:

  @climbingsingle
  It is not a "wedding" it is our wedding (as mentioned, we never had one - thanks covid!). 
  We are very much looking forward to our special day and full of joy our children will be apart of it. Everyone has a different story and there is no "right way". This is our story and our way and we are full of joy! your feelings are your own 😉
  Best of wishes to you. 😊 

  littleluckyme said:

  @Jen4948
  Yes our daughter will be 20 months and she is our flower girl ! 🥰 We never force our children to do anything. We will have many children at our wedding not just our own. We expect all of them to let loose 😉! The day will unfold how it will. We are fortunate to have such loving families who are so supportive and helpful. It will be a beautiful day whatever unfolds. Thanks and best wishes to you 😊
  

  littleluckyme said:

  @ILoveBeachMusic
  

  It is not a vow renewal, it is our wedding day, as mentioned we never had one and it was always our plan to have our formal wedding in France where my husband is from. Both our families are aware of our story and yet everyone is so thrilled for us.

  Everyone has a different story and there is no 'right way'. This just happens to be our story and we know our day is well worth the wait. We are so fortunate and grateful that our day can still happen and even better that our three beautiful children will be apart of it! The memories of our special day will be an imprint in our hearts forever. 

  Best of wishes to you. 😊 

  littleluckyme said:

  We just don't look at it that way and no one in our family does. Everyone understands that this is our true wedding day and celebration. Our elopement here in the states was just the two of us and it was the day we were legally married (as we wanted to be legally married before our twins were born). But our formal wedding was always planned to take place in France with our families and we are beyond ecstatic that day is finally approaching! It will absolutely be a wonderful celebration,  thank you! 🍾 ❤️ 
  Best wishes to you. 😊

  littleluckyme said:

  @MobKaz
  I am only speaking of our situation, if others elope and consider that their wedding, that is wonderful for them ! It just is not the case for us. We wanted to be legally married in the states where we reside prior to our twins being born but our formal wedding has always been set to take place in France. And yes, it will be a religious wedding. 
  
  And we will celebrate both dates and we even still celebrate the date we met 🥰! Great question!
  
  Best of wishes to you 😊.
  
  

  Congrats on your vow renewal, which is what you are planning. You have already been married for five years. You have gotten the legal protections for that for five years, you have three children together. You’re being ridiculous by calling it a “formal” or “real” wedding. An elopement is a real wedding. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022

  @MobKaz
  I find that very odd mentality that you think the word "consider" is insulting. almost everything you are saying is insulting to our personal situation. Again, every one has a different story and this is ours. If you don't agree that is fine but doesn't make any of what you say "right". We eloped and had a private wedding but this is our formal wedding, or "sequel wedding" since you apparently want to term it something. 

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022

  @levioosa
  I think it's so sad when people get so bitter over other people's joy and happiness. It says a lot about that person. Your feelings are your own. We will continue to feel joy and happiness no matter what naysayers think and feel. We know we got legally married already and all our guests know this. We did so for specific reasons, yet we are still having our formal wedding in France as planned. And since so many people here seem to want to label it, it is a sequel wedding, not vow renewals. Vow renewals generally don't occur until closer to ten years later, but then again there is no correct way so even vow renewals could happen whenever a couple decides. Everyone has a different story and different paths. It's just so sad when people are so closed minded.
  
  

  Best of wishes to you 😊

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• MobKaz member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  @MobKaz
  I find that very odd mentality that you think the word "consider" is insulting. almost everything you are saying is insulting to our personal situation. Again, every one has a different story and this is ours. If you don't agree that is fine but doesn't make any of what you say "right". We eloped and had a private wedding but this is our formal wedding, or "sequel wedding" since you apparently want to term it something. 

  
  

  "I" don't want to term it.  There are two existing terms for your plans.  You are having a convalidation and/or vow renewal. 
  

  You said, ".....if others elope and consider that their wedding, ......"    The very definition of "consider" is to imply, believe, or have an opinion, or idea. I don't "think" the word is insulting.  It's use in this context is an insult.   An elopement is NONE of those.  An elopement is a legally binding, but private WEDDING. 
  I have stated facts.  That does not insult your plans; it merely clarifies them for other brides-to-be that may be reading this post. 
  

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• levioosa member

  

  August 2022

  🙄🙄🙄
  
  At least your guests know it’s a replay of something that’s already happened. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @levioosa
  
  Absolutely not a replay of what already happened. Our elopement was just the two of us in a secret garden. Our wedding in France will take place at an église with our families present and reception at a beautiful Château. 
  Ciao and best wishes to you 😊 

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @MobKaz
  

  You're not stating facts, you are stating opinions so let's be clear about that to  other brides-to-be that may be reading this post. Again, it is not vow renewals. We were legally married and our wedding has always been planned to happen (and finally is happening!) in France. It is a celebration of our mariage...and that is called a WEDDING 😉 ! Elopements and civil ceremonies/civil marriages are both legally binding ways to get married without a wedding. Be understanding you are in a destination wedding forum. This is not a cookie-cutter etiquette forum and you are not the etiquette police 😉. And honestly a LOT of etiquette has changed in recent years. 
  

  And, we actually would not even be able to have our religious wedding in France if we were not already married 🥰
  

  But I will take your words and just say I am now aware I am beating a dead horse 😉
  

  Ciao and best wishes to you 😊. 
  

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• levioosa member

  

  August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  @levioosa
  
  Absolutely not a replay of what already happened. Our elopement was just the two of us in a secret garden. Our wedding in France will take place at an église with our families present and reception at a beautiful Château. 
  Ciao and best wishes to you 😊 

  littleluckyme said:

  @MobKaz
  

  You're not stating facts, you are stating opinions so let's be clear about that to  other brides-to-be that may be reading this post. Again, it is not vow renewals. We were legally married and our wedding has always been planned to happen (and finally is happening!) in France. It is a celebration of our mariage...and that is called a WEDDING 😉 ! Elopements and civil ceremonies/civil marriages are both legally binding ways to get married without a wedding. Be understanding you are in a destination wedding forum. This is not a cookie-cutter etiquette forum and you are not the etiquette police 😉. And honestly a LOT of etiquette has changed in recent years. 
  

  And, we actually would not even be able to have our religious wedding in France if we were not already married 🥰
  

  But I will take your words and just say I am now aware I am beating a dead horse 😉
  

  Ciao and best wishes to you 😊. 
  

  So you’re not already legally married? Because pretending to get married again would indeed be a replay of something that’s already happened. Ciao, sweetie. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022

  @levioosa
  We were legally married and now we will be having our wedding abroad in France. It really is not that hard to understand, sweetie 😉 Ciao. 

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  August 2022

  littleluckyme said:

  @levioosa
  We were legally married and now we will be having our wedding abroad in France. It really is not that hard to understand, sweetie 😉 Ciao. 

  A wedding is where you get married. You won't be getting married; you did that in 2018. It's really not hard to understand.
  
  Enjoy the play acting! 

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• littleluckyme member

  

  August 2022 edited August 2022

  @MyNameIsNot
  

  We were legally married and we will be having our wedding abroad in France. It really is not that hard to understand. No one is "pretending" or "play acting". It isn't some trickery or an illusion. I am more than happy to educate you (and others) since you don't seem to understandand and as this is a destination wedding forum hopefully you and others will learn something 😊. 

  I am a U.S. citizen and my DH is a French citizen. We always planned to have our wedding in France, where DH is from. And in France, a wedding happens in three parts. First, couples must go to the mairie (city hall) to be legally married. Then the couple can follow this with a religious ceremony, a secular service, or whatever celebration they choose. So there are two ceremonies. The civil ceremony is the only ceremony that makes the marriage official. The 'real' wedding is has more meaning, whether it's at a church or just a more symbolic, secular ceremony. Since our legal marriage is recognized in France we are allowed to have a religious ceremony. The entirety of this is the Wedding. 

  We were legally married and now will have our wedding in France, as planned. 

  In our particular situation we were legally married here in the states sooner than we anticipated because as I mentioned, we wanted to be legally married before our twins were born. If we followed "ideals" we would have done it within the same year perhaps. But we still would have needed to be legally married to have our religious wedding ceremony in France. But our two little lucky stars changed our course and so our wedding was set to happen in 2020. Unfortunately the results of the pandemic changed not just our wedding plans, but our life plans, so we postponed twice. And sadly there were many couples who were robbed of their wedding day due to the pandemic and many decided to get legally married and have their wedding at a later date. The pandemic forced times to change and etiquette to change and "ideals" to change. So what you say is actually unfair and disrespectful to all of those couples, not just to us. 

  But in the end your opinions, thoughts and feeling do not change the fact this will still be our wedding day ! I know you desperately want to disagree and label it as "play acting" but that just shows your ignorance. And again if it needs to have a label here in the states, it would be a sequel wedding and not vow renewals, just to be clear to everyone. Opinions and feeling cannot change facts. I sincerely hope you learned something and can now understand. 

  Best of wishes to you, chérie 😊

  
  

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