Wedding Etiquette Forum

Asking both my sisters to be my MOH?

I have two sisters and one brother, and the three of us girls have always been really close. One of my sisters is younger and one is older (I'm in the middle). We are all very creative and have planned hundreds of events together... we're pretty much a dream team. In terms of weddings, the three of us recently planned our sister-in-law's bachelorette together, and it was very much a shared task. We all brought something to the table and it turned out amazing.

They (my sisters) have always talked about trading off for MOHs (each person would have a chance), but to be honest, I've always seen them both in the seat for my wedding. My plan is to ask them both to be my Maid*s of Honor, but what I'm wondering: would that cheapen their experience?

On one hand, I think it's a chance to take some of the stress off of going it alone. They both have high-powered jobs right now. One lives farther out of town and one life close by. They could divide and conquer, rather than everything falling on one of them. I was also thinking they would walk down the aisle together, since they are both badass, independent women in my life and my two right hands.

I just don't want it to feel like I couldn't decide so I went for both. That is not the vibe. I literally couldn't imagine a better duo and I rely on both of them for their different strengths when it comes to knowing me, knowing my fiance and helping me plan something...

Re: Asking both my sisters to be my MOH?

  • I think it's fine that they're both MOHs. There's no rule limiting you to only one MOH.
  • I have two sisters and one brother, and the three of us girls have always been really close. One of my sisters is younger and one is older (I'm in the middle). We are all very creative and have planned hundreds of events together... we're pretty much a dream team. In terms of weddings, the three of us recently planned our sister-in-law's bachelorette together, and it was very much a shared task. We all brought something to the table and it turned out amazing.

    They (my sisters) have always talked about trading off for MOHs (each person would have a chance), but to be honest, I've always seen them both in the seat for my wedding. My plan is to ask them both to be my Maid*s of Honor, but what I'm wondering: would that cheapen their experience?

    On one hand, I think it's a chance to take some of the stress off of going it alone. They both have high-powered jobs right now. One lives farther out of town and one life close by. They could divide and conquer, rather than everything falling on one of them. I was also thinking they would walk down the aisle together, since they are both badass, independent women in my life and my two right hands.

    I just don't want it to feel like I couldn't decide so I went for both. That is not the vibe. I literally couldn't imagine a better duo and I rely on both of them for their different strengths when it comes to knowing me, knowing my fiance and helping me plan something...


    Are you asking them for their task and wedding planning skills or because of your close relationship?  You can create any "designation" but it will still require you to make some decisions regarding the "official/traditional" MOH role.  Which will stand directly next to you?  Which holds your flowers?  Which offers a toast?

    It sounds as if you might be better designating them both as wedding planners.  The role of MOH is meant to be one that signals a relationship and honorary role.
  • ellabell1ellabell1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited November 2022
    MOH is an honor, not a role that comes with the responsibility to help plan your wedding. That's your job or that of a paid wedding planner or vendor.  Everything else, including pre-wedding parties, attending dress fittings, DIY etc.  is 100% voluntary and optional. Any member of your wedding party would need to approach you with an offer to help rather than the other way around. Their only responsibilities are to attend rehearsal if possible, help to coordinate communication with bridesmaids, show up in attire that you've consulted with them on for style and price, stand by your side in support, take photos, and help out with minor tasks on your wedding day. 

    There is no reason that both sisters can't be MOH. In your place I wouldn't choose between them. It's easy enough to coordinate where they stand, who holds flowers etc. They can share, alternate or take on specific small tasks, readings etc. 
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