Dear Prudence,
My girlfriend and I are getting married in April, and all of our guests not in relationships are getting a plus-one. We’re not concerned about someone inviting a plus-one who may not end up in our lives long-term. As long as they’re significant enough for the person to want to bring them to our wedding now (or if bringing someone makes them more likely to come), we’re all for it.
However, we did not anticipate my cousin, who is getting married to his long-time boyfriend next summer, being in a throuple. My cousin and long-time boyfriend are still getting married, but the third partner has moved in with them and is a significant part of their lives (it’s a true throuple from where we’re sitting). And while we have questions (I think I’m hung up on the logistics, my partner is fascinated by the mental load of three people), we’re trying to be stewards to the whole “In this house, we believe…” sign that we don’t have up in our yard because we don’t have a house with a yard, but are the type of people who would have that sign in their yard if they did have a yard. Anyway, we’d love your advice on what to do about a plus one. Does the third person get an invite? Does my cousin get a plus-two? Do my cousin and partner each get a plus 0.5? Do we care about Aunt Karen?
— Three’s a Crowd