Dear Prudence,
I’m getting married in January, and we are struggling with our guest list. Our venue fits 120 people, which seemed like a lot until we put pen to paper. As we’ve whittled the list down, one set of guests has caused the most consternation.
“Maggie” was my best friend in college, and she shaped who I am today. We live in different cities now, but I still consider her one of my closest friends. But my fiancé and I are hitting a wall on her plus-one(s). Maggie has been with “Luke” for two years, and we adore him. I knew Luke had always been interested in polyamory, and about a year ago, Maggie decided she wanted to try it. Now there’s a third member of their relationship, “Flora,” whom I’ve never met. All three of them are very happy and in love, and Maggie seems genuinely thrilled with the situation.
There is no doubt that Maggie will make the final invite list. If this were a year ago, Maggie and Luke would have been a no-brainer. But now that Flora is involved, I’m not sure what to do. Inviting just Maggie seems rude; she’s too close a friend. Inviting just Luke and Maggie dismisses their relationship with Flora. But to invite all three of them—including a woman we’ve never met—we would need to cut someone we really want to be at our wedding. How can I solve this without offending anyone or feeling resentful myself?