Wedding Woes

this is dumb

Dear Prudence, How do I tell people I’d rather they not compliment me about a certain skill I have? I know, that sounds weird, but let me explain. I used to work as a journalist. I was pretty good at it. But I got burned out and left that world to do something completely different, and I consigned my time as a journalist to the dustbin of history, never to be brought up again. But obviously, longtime friends remember my time in that world and will occasionally, while reminiscing, tell me they always thought I was a good writer or a good journalist. Honestly, I hate being reminded of that time in my life. It’s not who I am anymore. How do I get people to understand that even what seems like an innocent comment makes me feel physically ill? You’re probably going to suggest therapy. I’m already there, so no need to suggest it. How do I tell people not to bring up that part of my life? 

Re: this is dumb

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Just tell them you appreciate that they remember it but it was also a career path that left you feeling burned out.  IMO, telling them not to bring it up without context isn't helpful.  Talk to them first.


  • You have to realize that you can't control other people. Instead of trying to get them not to compliment you, think of a canned response to deflect. "I was good, but it just took too much of a toll on me. I'm much happier raising goats." 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ask your therapist to help you work on your reactions to other people.  It's not like you were, like, almost killed in an accident, and they're bringing it up. That'd be upsetting and I'd absolutely ask the person to not speak about it.  A simple "oh gosh that was so long ago!" should brush off most folks hoping to have a full on conversation about the former career.
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