Awkward no kids ruling

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2010

Yeah, a 17 year old HS boy as RB is pushing it.

kikibaby · June 2010

Sometimes I wonder if you're special, MissCourtney.

premedchick · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:83ecf27d-8b46-485b-bb6c-5c29beb3b566">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, a 17 year old HS boy as RB is pushing it.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I totally agree! I love my FSIL but Zach?! I barely know him, so he can remain on the guest list!

jens_a_ten · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:0064194f-952a-4e41-9f42-ca81c840096d">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]A 16 year old flower girl is strange. And your FMIL agress to this? Is she "special'. Does she have to be in the wedding? I can't see my 16 year old goddaughter wanting to do this. Wierd....
Posted by MISSCOURTNEY20[/QUOTE]

Dude, come on.

I don't see the big deal about a 16 year old in a dress appropriate for her age, scattering some flowers as she walks up the aisle. And I don't think it's that weird that she wants to do it. Some girls are giving BJs and listening to the Cure at 16, some are bedazzling a denim jacket for their cat. We're all unique snowflakes.

frogurt814 · June 2010

The only issue I really see here is that you are considering a 16 year old to be a child. I get why people go with the whole "no children" thing at a wedding because of crying, screaming, whatever, but once they are out of the toddler stage, most kids are capable of behaving. Even quite a few toddlers are perfectly capable of behaving. And I don't actually see how a child could "ruin" a wedding like so many people always claim.

I'm not sure why you would exclude teenagers, tweens, and the like from the wedding.

Anyway, like PP said, just address the invites to Mr. & Mrs. and do not include the children's names.

premedchick · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:f8bbd3ce-b065-47f9-a67d-2736ff9c7d21">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : Dude, come on. I don't see the big deal about a 16 year old in a dress appropriate for her age, scattering some flowers as she walks up the aisle. And I don't think it's that weird that she wants to do it. Some girls are giving BJs and listening to the Cure at 16, some are bedazzling a denim jacket for their cat. We're all unique snowflakes.
Posted by jens_a_ten[/QUOTE]

Thanks so much!!! I lolz a few minutes when I read this! :D

salt78 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:34783abe-a6ac-4a1a-9b47-7e68687b3381">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : I lolz a few minutes when I read this! :D
Posted by premedchick[/QUOTE]

<div>*facepalm*</div>

premedchick · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:2f9ce116-5fd7-408c-98b3-6ab30f11c548">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]The only issue I really see here is that you are considering a 16 year old to be a child. I get why people go with the whole "no children" thing at a wedding because of crying, screaming, whatever, but once they are out of the toddler stage, most kids are capable of behaving. Even quite a few toddlers are perfectly capable of behaving. And I don't actually see how a child could "ruin" a wedding like so many people always claim. I'm not sure why you would exclude teenagers, tweens, and the like from the wedding. Anyway, like PP said, just address the invites to Mr. & Mrs. and do not include the children's names.
Posted by frogurt814[/QUOTE]

Oh well to address this....everyone we know either has a baby-baby (infant to 3) or a middle age kids (8-12). The babies we can't have and the other kids we know personally...and they are HORRIBLE. I like kids but these kids have interupted other gatherings and we don't want to have to deal with them.

premedchick · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:ce4fdf27-fc23-405d-9b5b-d3706d446d57">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : *facepalm*
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

What can I say? I'm a giant dork.

smokeybailey · June 2010

So wait, you already invited the 17 year old Zach, but you are questioning whether the 16 year old flower teen should be invited.

Please explain.

[Deleted User] · June 2010

i don't think the 16-yo flower girl is all that weird if she wants to do it. big whoop.

premedchick · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:26f1cdf8-b4ba-45cf-a1ae-52c25e160cc9">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]So wait, you already invited the 17 year old Zach, but you are questioning whether the 16 year old flower teen should be invited. Please explain.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Cause I honestly think he'll be 18 by then.....not to mention he looks like a grown man. Full beard and everything. And no one has been formally invited yet! We are still awhile away from the wedding!

smokeybailey · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:12e2949f-2d25-43a5-b6b7-1e15f938e5ee">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : Cause I honestly think he'll be 18 by then.....not to mention he looks like a grown man. Full beard and everything. And no one has been formally invited yet! We are still awhile away from the wedding!
Posted by premedchick[/QUOTE]

Then why the question about the 16 year old? If <em><strong>she </strong></em>had a beard, would you be asking?

Actingbug27 · June 2010

My fiance and I are having an adults only wedding and in addition to posting that information on our wedding website, we will be stating on the invitation that no children are invited. It's a dicey subject to word without upsetting some people, but we are saying something to the effect of "Due to the sacred nature of our sacrament, we kindly request no children." We are having a catholic wedding, so this will hopefully work for us. I have a 9 year old niece and she will be there because she is family, as well as my fiance's cousins who are 12 or 13, but by that age they should be behaving appropriately at a wedding and not being a nuisance. Hope it all works out for you!!

salt78 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:da2f00bf-0efe-46dd-9e51-ae8521758dc1">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]we will be stating on the invitation that no children are invited.
Posted by Actingbug27[/QUOTE]

<div>Dear OP,</div><div>
</div><div>Do not do this. </div><div>
</div><div>love, Salt</div>

sarah0725 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:f8bbd3ce-b065-47f9-a67d-2736ff9c7d21">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : Dude, come on. I don't see the big deal about a 16 year old in a dress appropriate for her age, scattering some flowers as she walks up the aisle. And I don't think it's that weird that she wants to do it. Some girls are giving BJs and listening to the Cure at 16, some are <strong>bedazzling a denim jacket for their cat</strong>. We're all unique snowflakes.
Posted by jens_a_ten[/QUOTE]

How did you know I did this?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:5c402d7f-cc0b-48d2-9bab-815cd3d71bd6">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : Oh well to address this....everyone we know either has a baby-baby (infant to 3) or a middle age kids (8-12). The babies we can't have and the other kids we know personally...and they are HORRIBLE. I like kids but these kids have interupted other gatherings and we don't want to have to deal with them.
Posted by premedchick[/QUOTE]

Then like I said, make your "cut-off" age 16. Especially if the only person who's 16 and above whom you would consider inviting is your FSIL. You don't have to consider everyone under the age of 18 a child. Some people make their cut-off age 12, or 10, or 21.

ohwhynot · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:da2f00bf-0efe-46dd-9e51-ae8521758dc1">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are having an adults only wedding and in addition to posting that information on our wedding website, we will be stating on the invitation that no children are invited. It's a dicey subject to word without upsetting some people, but we are saying something to the effect of "<strong>Due to the sacred nature of our sacrament, we kindly request no children.</strong>" We are having a catholic wedding, so this will hopefully work for us. I have a 9 year old niece and she will be there because she is family, as well as my fiance's cousins who are 12 or 13, but by that age they should be behaving appropriately at a wedding and not being a nuisance. Hope it all works out for you!! :)
Posted by Actingbug27[/QUOTE]

1. The "sacred nature of the sacrament" is redundant.
2. That doesn't make any sense - how does the presence of children somehow undermine the sacredness?
3. Children are not excluded from Catholic Mass - it's fine if you don't want children at your ceremony, but to pretend as if somehow the nature of the Catholic Mass precludes their presence is just wrong.

Please rethink this.

premedchick · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:0bc12bde-ab72-4e25-a739-6eee33917b86">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : Then why the question about the 16 year old? If she had a beard, would you be asking?
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Oh. Good pt. It's just that I know she looks younger than she is; I don't want any guests to look at her and be mad about not being able to bring their children.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:da2f00bf-0efe-46dd-9e51-ae8521758dc1">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are having an adults only wedding and in addition to posting that information on our wedding website, we will be stating on the invitation that no children are invited. It's a dicey subject to word without upsetting some people, but we are saying something to the effect of "Due to the sacred nature of our sacrament, we kindly request no children." We are having a catholic wedding, so this will hopefully work for us. I have a 9 year old niece and she will be there because she is family, as well as my fiance's cousins who are 12 or 13, but by that age they should be behaving appropriately at a wedding and not being a nuisance. Hope it all works out for you!! :)
Posted by Actingbug27[/QUOTE]

OP, please follow the other advice you've gotten and not this information.

Proper etiquette is to address your envelopes to those whom are invited. If you ALSO put on the invitations who is NOT invited, then it's the etiquette equivalent of hitting your guest over the head with the information and annoying. If I saw any form of "no kids" on an invitation I would assume that you thought most of your guest list was "special" and not capable of understanding who, exactly, was invited. Don't insult them.

[Deleted User] · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:da2f00bf-0efe-46dd-9e51-ae8521758dc1">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]we are saying something to the effect of "Due to the sacred nature of our sacrament, we kindly request no children." We are having a catholic wedding, so this will hopefully work for us.
Posted by Actingbug27[/QUOTE]
that's rich. if you're getting married in the catholic church, surely you know catholics are all about the kiddies?

smokeybailey · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:b2b93426-2d12-45fa-ba8b-28eeeceb9b4b">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward no kids ruling : Oh. Good pt. It's just that I know she looks younger than she is; I don't want any guests to look at her and be mad about not being able to bring their children.
Posted by premedchick[/QUOTE]

But she is 16...that's not really a "child." Just invite her and be done with it. She is your FSIL. If someone says, hey, you didn't invite my 16 year old then you say, dude, she's the groom's SISTER. And leave it at that.

karbar42 · June 2010

I'm pretty sure, no matter what her age, no one would question why the groom's sister was at his wedding.

jennylove810 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:de342824-663a-4128-a4ae-6213df8bdbea">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]Good thing you have until May 2012 to figure this out.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Wait so she's 14 now?

I'm willing to bet money that when she, at 14, says "I want to be the FG in your wedding," at 16 she'll be saying "Oh hell no."

zippityb · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_awkward-kids-ruling?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:73537e84-931c-42c1-820c-656b42b4195fPost:f8bbd3ce-b065-47f9-a67d-2736ff9c7d21">Re: Awkward no kids ruling</a>:
[QUOTE]Some girls are giving BJs and listening to the Cure at 16
Posted by jens_a_ten[/QUOTE]

Show me show me show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream, she said.

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