SA Wednesday

ktwed1 · May 2012

In Response to Re:SA Wednesday:[QUOTE]I just had a really unsettling coversation with FI. nbsp; I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work... Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]
Oh Amy that stinks. Just breath and hid in a restroom somewhere if you have to.

winechic25 · May 2012

And at 2.5 years, he still follows me all over the house. I think that's just a dog thing. However, he will follow me and lay down now, where he used to follow me and be all up in my grill.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

Oh this came out way wrong!! I LOVE that he goes with me everywhere, and yes, I'm that person that takes him in the car with me everywhere too! But, yes, I am ready for him to be able to go into every room and just hang out, and not bite, chew or potty on stuff!!

winechic25 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:a1d541b0-8e1b-4bde-94a9-299dabd8899c">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]I just had a really unsettling coversation with FI. I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work...
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

I agree, deep breathes, breathe!!!!

cwaggoner07 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:a1d541b0-8e1b-4bde-94a9-299dabd8899c">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]I just had a really unsettling coversation with FI. I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work...
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

Get a glass of water and go sit in your car! Seriously, I have done this before, esp when FI and I were long distance.

angelsong21 · May 2012

Thanks -- unfortunately I don't have a way to "escape" at work. We're down to only two of us running a busy physician's office. I work 12 hour days but only get a 30 minute lunch, no breaks. I work for a huge hospital so my car is nowhere near where I work. :-/ Is anyone else simply not good at just sitting with stuff that mad you angry/upset?

shishigami26 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:50eec77f-e886-4798-b7e3-eac1674cabaf">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks -- unfortunately I don't have a way to "escape" at work. We're down to only two of us running a busy physician's office. I work 12 hour days but only get a 30 minute lunch, no breaks. I work for a huge hospital so my car is nowhere near where I work. :-/ Is anyone else simply not good at just sitting with stuff that mad you angry/upset?
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

You could try venting on a scrap piece of paper or in a small notebook. Have a little conversation with yourself. Write down what was said that bothered you, why it upset you, and how (if you want) you might bring it up with your FI later. Even if it doesn't completely calm you down or make you feel better, it may help release some of the pent up emotions that you have so that you can make it to the end of the day.

MarieSD · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:50eec77f-e886-4798-b7e3-eac1674cabaf">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks -- unfortunately I don't have a way to "escape" at work. We're down to only two of us running a busy physician's office. I work 12 hour days but only get a 30 minute lunch, no breaks. I work for a huge hospital so my car is nowhere near where I work. :-/ Is anyone else simply not good at just sitting with stuff that mad you angry/upset?
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

This is me. When H and I were dating long-distance, I struggled so much when we had spats. He could say "okay, let's just stop talking about this, say goodnight, and talk about it tomorrow night." I just couldn't do that! I'd be at work, still feeling all panicky about whatever it was, just generally anguishing over it. It was horrible. :(

Re the puppy -- I totally hear you on wishing you had 5 minutes to yourself! I feel guilty crating her when I'm home, because we both are gone so long at work, that I have her with me constantly. And it's really affected my housework and grooming -- I can't just sit there and put on makeup for ten minutes when she's staring at me all sad-faced! And she HATES the broom and vaccuum, so I have to do those when she's not around. Which is pretty much never.

I'm actually in a puppy training class right now, lol. At a Petsmart. I signed up for Beginner (the adult dog class) but they had a puppy class starting right then, so they just stuck me in that. She's never learned any of this stuff, though, and she <em>looks</em> like a puppy, so I guess it's no big deal. I just giggle a little to myself, because she's by far the worst in the class with all the commands. (I know a lot of that is my fault for not doing the homework like I should).

angelsong21 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:551a399d-37e2-4268-91ea-b70638c5950a">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SA Wednesday : <strong>This is me. When H and I were dating long-distance, I struggled so much when we had spats. He could say "okay, let's just stop talking about this, say goodnight, and talk about it tomorrow night." I just couldn't do that! I'd be at work, still feeling all panicky about whatever it was, just generally anguishing over it. It was horrible. :(</strong> Re the puppy -- I totally hear you on wishing you had 5 minutes to yourself! I feel guilty crating her when I'm home, because we both are gone so long at work, that I have her with me constantly. And it's really affected my housework and grooming -- I can't just sit there and put on makeup for ten minutes when she's staring at me all sad-faced! And she HATES the broom and vaccuum, so I have to do those when she's not around. Which is pretty much never. I'm actually in a puppy training class right now, lol. At a Petsmart. I signed up for Beginner (the adult dog class) but they had a puppy class starting right then, so they just stuck me in that. She's never learned any of this stuff, though, and she looks like a puppy, so I guess it's no big deal. I just giggle a little to myself, because she's by far the worst in the class with all the commands. (I know a lot of that is my fault for not doing the homework like I should).
Posted by MarieSD[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This exactly. What he said to me today was a potential game-changer. And now I get to sit with it until at least Sunday, if not Tuesday before I can even talk to FI about it. I don't know how to just sit with things like this. You'd think I'd start applying this nervous, fearful energy to something positive like, you know, working out...lol.</div><div>
</div><div>I can understand what you mean about your pup, too. My brother's dog (my parents helped raise her when I lived at home) gets SO EXCITED every time you come back from going somewhere. She will completely spazz out and just jump all over you, scratching at your legs in all her Shih Tzu ridiculousness. Sometimes I would get home and I'd really have to pee after sitting in traffic for an hour and a half and that was an impossible feat because Oreo would be all over me for 5 minutes. It was really sweet most of the time but gah, sometimes I just wanted a few minutes too myself before she came flying at me.</div><div>
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MarieSD · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:4d71091e-a9ce-4c17-b01b-79b85dca5bdc">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SA Wednesday : This exactly. What he said to me today was a potential game-changer. And now I get to sit with it until at least Sunday, if not Tuesday before I can even talk to FI about it. I don't know how to just sit with things like this. You'd think I'd start applying this nervous, fearful energy to something positive like, you know, working out...lol.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]
Poor thing. That's awful, especially since ... the wedding's still on, right? And literally days away, and you're dealing with something bad with your FI? That's really, really tough. IIs there anyone impartial you can talk to, whether it's a professional, a religious person, friend, relative, anything? Maybe not even someone to give you advice -- you probably just need to TALK about everything.

Writing what you're thinking might help too. But I always liked talking to another person about it. They usually offered some insight that really opened my eyes.

angelsong21 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:1c3b2138-3943-48c4-8c3d-5ebd83b6ba36">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SA Wednesday : Poor thing. That's awful, especially since ... the wedding's still on, right? And literally days away, and you're dealing with something bad with your FI? That's really, really tough. IIs there anyone impartial you can talk to, whether it's a professional, a religious person, friend, relative, anything? Maybe not even someone to give you advice -- you probably just need to TALK about everything. Writing what you're thinking might help too. But I always liked talking to another person about it. They usually offered some insight that really opened my eyes.
Posted by MarieSD[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh yeah, wedding is still on. He and I just need to get a chance to actually sit and talk about this. I think overall where he is at has done a great job helping him, but there are some things I'm really unhappy with. I just tend to magnify things when I have to sit with them and I can't immediately talk about them and resolve them. The longer they go unresolved, the bigger the problem seems to become. They have seemed to convince him that by me knowing anything about his aftercare is me being too "enmeshed" and "codependent." Are you serious? First of all, they are the ones that initially offered to provide all this info to me. I understand that I am definitely too controlling at times, and that's something I absolutely need to work on, but by having some semblance of his aftercare plan does not equate to me being a helicopter FI. The deal was that from this point forward, I need absolute transparency so we can rebuild trust, and certain appointments needed to be made. When he says to me, "Why do YOU need to know?" when I ask him when/what appointments have been made for next week and when I discover the needed appointments have not been made, that's not being transparent and its certainly not going to help me rebuild trust. They also insisted on scheduling him with someone that he absolutely did NOT mesh well with -- he saw the guy once and thought he was disrespectful, so that seems really helpful; *sarcasm*. We just need to have a Come to Jesus talk when he gets home. I just feel like they have convinced him that I am this horrible, controlling person and that I need to be cutoff. My mom said that's exactly how she felt when it was me in the position that FI is in now.

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MarieSD · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sa-wednesday-87?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:58cb3356-1642-40cc-a390-2d12a466297fPost:408c8da7-30ed-470e-aec5-7f99b5a79662">Re: SA Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SA Wednesday : Oh yeah, wedding is still on. He and I just need to get a chance to actually sit and talk about this. Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

Ohhh, okay, I was so worried the problem was something potentially wedding-altering! I would be right there with you. In our marraige, I take care of the details, the appointments, the finances, etc. I would hate to be treated like I was being pushy for needing to know basic things! I don't blame you one bit for being aggrevated about that. I can kind of see why your FI would be touchy about sharing that -- but the place where he is absolutely should be sharing that with you! I don't understand why they'd suddenly be holding back information from you. :(

ktwed1 · May 2012

I think it's total BS that they think keeping you in the dark is a good idea. You are and will be a big part of his recovery when he returns home. I'm not sure how they think that not telling you things and what should and needs to happen when he returns is for the best. I'm always one who prefers to be prepared escpecially with something so important. It sounds like your the same way. I don't find that controlling I find that is trying to be prepared.
Oh! and good luck with your finals today.

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