Who's Paying?

CamilleJon · April 2011

So I have some drama going on in my family regarding who is and isn't chipping in for our wedding and I am just curious...
Are you and FI paying all by yourself, are your parents, grandparents, FI's parents, grandparents helping out??
Post percentages instead of amounts if you are uncomfortable saying

stinkerbell6879 · April 2011

We paid 99% My parents paid 1/2 of our cake.

direy25 · April 2011

FI and I are paying for most of the wedding. FI's parents are paying for the Rehearsal Dinner and my parents are paying for my dress & the photobooth. Everything else is on us.

hstaples4 · April 2011

We are paying for most of our wedding. My parents said they will help out with what they can but I know they aren't going to be able to afford too much and FI parents can't do much either even though I know they wish they could so I'm letting FI mom get toasting flutes, the guest book, and other little things like that.
I'd say when it's all said and done FI and I will have paid 90% and our parents 10%, which is even more then we'd like since they're already having to pay travel expenses too.

kara811 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:35f172d5-bb6c-41af-a5e7-53fe7e8da785">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's Paying? : Uh... thanks for the lesson in wedding ettiquette, but I'm not an idiot. Why are you thinking we are asking for money from anyone?
Posted by CamilleJon[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I didn't think of anything, only a reminder. So many people come on here, talking about families and contributions and forget that it's rude to even ask for money in the first place. If it seemed bitchy, then I'm sorry, but I did answer your question.</div>

wallacje · April 2011

FI and I are paying for everything.

kara811 · April 2011

You and your FI should plan for the wedding you can both afford. Don't ask family to contribute, but if they offer, then take it. It's rude to ask.

With that said, H and I paid for almost everything in our wedding, and we didn't ask our parents for anything. Although, my parents gave me money and said to spend it on my dress, and they also threw us an awesome after party. And H's parents paid for our RD, and gave us a really nice check for our wedding gift.

CamilleJon · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:5ae109cd-7df5-43ac-869f-08a3a224f35d">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>You and your FI should plan for the wedding you can both afford. Don't ask family to contribute, but if they offer, then take it. It's rude to ask.</strong> With that said, H and I paid for almost everything in our wedding, and we didn't ask our parents for anything. Although, my parents gave me money and said to spend it on my dress, and they also threw us an awesome after party. And H's parents paid for our RD, and gave us a really nice check for our wedding gift.
Posted by kara811[/QUOTE]
Uh... thanks for the lesson in wedding ettiquette, but I'm not an idiot. Why are you thinking we are asking for money from anyone?

direy25 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:35f172d5-bb6c-41af-a5e7-53fe7e8da785">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's Paying? : Uh... thanks for the lesson in wedding ettiquette, but I'm not an idiot. Why are you thinking we are asking for money from anyone?
Posted by CamilleJon[/QUOTE]
Overreaction, party of 1.

Where is the drama coming in about who is/isn't chipping in? When you mention drama about money & family, it's easy to come to the conclusion that maybe you asked for money. I really don't think she was trying to call you an idiot.

Sin715 · April 2011

My Mum and Dad surprised us with 5k to spend as we wish....yipppeeee!!!

One of my Aunt's bought my dress for me, and another Aunt paid for my flight to go back to Florida earlier this year to buy my dress (sort of wedding related as I was thrown a surprise shower as well).

The rest.....about 12K FI and I are paying for.

I consider myself sooooo lucky that my family are helping as much as they are.

smokeybailey · April 2011

We are paying 80%; my parents are giving us a wedding gift of cash that is about 20% of the wedding costs.

As a note, my wedding budget that I am basing the %'s on does not include: hair and makeup, tuxes, shoes, jewelry, wedding rings, groom's cake, gifts (WP or parents). We aren't doing limos, favors or a honeymoon either. My mom bought my fabulous $653 dress.

Does that help? OH, as a side note, my mother offered, was hurt when I said no, and then was happy when I said yes. I did not ask at all. It is our wedding gift (i.e. she has said, don't expect anything else, smokey. uh, okay, ma.)

kara811 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:f47d5c91-4954-41bb-9a07-a78dce2520cb">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's Paying? : Overreaction, party of 1. Where is the drama coming in about who is/isn't chipping in? When you mention drama about money & family, it's easy to come to the conclusion that maybe you asked for money. I really don't think she was trying to call you an idiot.
Posted by direy25[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>My exact thoughts D. </div>

smokeybailey · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:35f172d5-bb6c-41af-a5e7-53fe7e8da785">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's Paying? : Uh... thanks for the lesson in wedding ettiquette, but I'm not an idiot. Why are you thinking we are asking for money from anyone?
Posted by CamilleJon[/QUOTE]

Uh, I think she meant the "royal you" not the actual you.

Chill, baby baby, chill.

Olivea12 · April 2011

My dad paid for everything but the reception. My grandmother in law stepped in when the check came and took care of it, which was a complete surprise. I can't remember specifically, but I think DH and I paid for the cake and part of the photog on our own.

My dad offered up front how much he would give us to put towards the wedding. ILs did not offer anything until the evening of the reception.

CamilleJon · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:f47d5c91-4954-41bb-9a07-a78dce2520cb">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's Paying? : Overreaction, party of 1. Where is the drama coming in about who is/isn't chipping in? When you mention drama about money & family, it's easy to come to the conclusion that maybe you asked for money. I really don't think she was trying to call you an idiot.
Posted by direy25[/QUOTE]
I don't think it was an over-reaction, I just felt a little insulted when she told me I should "plan the wedding FI and I can afford" and "Don't ask for money, it's rude". But she apoligized, so it's over.

The drama is between my grandparents. My mom's dad and stepmom, and my mom's mom. They each want the other to match what they contribute, it's so stupid! I feel like if they want to give, then they should give what they feel is helpful, not worry about what the other is giving!

LilMissScareAll · April 2011

We started planning a wedding that we could afford. Original budget $12K. After Ben asked my dad for their blessing (my hand, whatever you want to call it), my parents said they would chip in "something" to the wedding. A few weeks later they called and told me how much "something" was. Our budget is now much higher than what is what before (trying to keep it between $16k-$18k).
My parents are basically paying for most of the reception (food & beverage)
We are now paying for the photographer, DJ, flowers/decor, cake, and attire, plus any other things that I'm not thinking of at this moment.
I doubt the FI family will contribute anything.

I got very, very lucky with my parents. Most people who contribute want to hold the reigns. My parents ask me to add one couple onto the guestlist and that was it. Like I said, I got lucky. In fact they love all my crazy ideas (I think they may have been abducted by aliens, 'cause it's very unlike them) We would have turned down the money if they wanted to change the way we wanted our wedding to be.

And we never asked anyone to pay for anything.

aerinpegadrak · April 2011

My mom and dad each offered a set amount of money (the same amount they gave my sister, who got married shortly after I got engaged), and only asked that I not ask for it right away because they needed time for their finances to recover from her wedding. We planned our wedding using that offer as our entire budget, not factoring in the honeymoon or rings.

However, they weren't able to deliver on the bulk of that cash until pretty much the date of the wedding, so we paid for just about everything (and came in well under our initial planned budget, even with all the extras we threw in), and used their gift to cover the honeymoon and a minor shopping spree when we got home.

amandajean36 · April 2011

technically, we've been given money as a gift from my dad, and FI's parents. we have no strings attached and could feed everyone McDonalds in the Caesars parking lot and then buy a car instead if we wanted.

my mom paid for my dress and alterations. she also just told me she's putting a check in the mail this week as our wedding gift.

i think the final breakdown will end up with the money from our parents going to pay for/reimburse us for the wedding and honeymoon - with some leftover for savings.

we've been really lucky. we have the funds to pay for everything we've wanted, but the parents have been very generous - and thankfully with no strings attached so we didn't have to have any awkward "thanks for offering, but we'll just pick up the tab" converstaion for things we didn't want.

tiffhiam · April 2011

We are paying for everything ourselves. However my dad did buy my wedding dress

kdj2011 · April 2011

We are paying but FI parents are paying for the night before "welcome party" instead of a rehearsal dinner. My parents are paying for the travel expenses for my sister's and their kids as their contribution because otherwise my sisters wouldn't have been able to afford it so instead of giving us a wedding gift or paying for anything we talked to my parents about paying for them.

jccswl · April 2011

We paid for 100% of our wedding. I knew my parents wouldn't have been able to contribute since we paid for their travel expenses. Although DH's parents gave my BIL 10k for his first wedding, they didn't give us the same offer, but it was ok we never even considered the chance we'd get anything. If they had given us the same amount, it would've been about 15% of what we spent.

lsvensson · April 2011

My parents are paying for the reception food & alcohol (roughly $15K), his parents are chipping in roughly $9K for misc costs including full hosting of the Meet & Greet (rehearsal dinner), and FI and I are covering the rest (roughly $10K).

Edit: Forgot to mention, like PPs, we didn't ask for them to contribute (not insinuating that you were planning to do that). My 'rents offered as soon as we got engaged, and FI's parents generously made their offer after taking a look at our budget and seeing what else we needed to cover outside of my parents' gift.

Diamond1031 · April 2011

Right now 100% my p's.

CamilleJon · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:2b5eae7f-ce8c-4c47-a4d1-5cadf503df6e">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]My parents are paying for the reception food & alcohol (roughly $15K), his parents are chipping in roughly $9K for misc costs including full hosting of the Meet & Greet (rehearsal dinner), and FI and I are covering the rest (roughly $10K). Edit: Forgot to mention, like PPs, we didn't ask for them to contribute (not insinuating that you were planning to do that). My 'rents offered as soon as we got engaged, and FI's parents generously made their offer after taking a look at our budget and seeing what else we needed to cover outside of my parents' gift.
Posted by lsvensson[/QUOTE]

How many people are you inviting?

ebonyivory10 · April 2011

90% us and 10% my ILs.

mizutamababy · April 2011

FI and I are paying for the whole wedding on our own. My father isn't in the picture and my mother is paying FI and I's suite during our stay as a wedding gift. We might get some cash gifts from my family on the day if family events go the way they usually do, but we're not counting on it. I don't forsee FI's family contributing anything. Our budget is 10K.

easullins · April 2011

When FI and I got engaged, my mom offered me a set amount for a wedding gift (same as what she gave my sister when she got married), which would calculate to about 35 percent of our total budget. FI's mom has offered us a wedding gift of about 10 percent of our total budget.

However, we are planning our wedding based on what we plan to/have saved and not taking into account the gifts we have been offered. My mom has had some unexpected expenses come up over the last few months, and she is spending money to travel to Vegas (as is FI's mom), so although they have offered generous gifts, we are not factoring these in to pay for our wedding.

ricekim · April 2011

FI and I are paying for 100 percent of our wedding.

Sara191431 · April 2011

I'm posting the amount as I can't do math:) I knew from a long time ago what my parents were giving as they were giving all 3 of us siblings the same amount which is $2,500.

We are paying for everything else. FI's parents haven't said anything until recently when his mom brought up paying for his suit which is $140.

j_jaye · April 2011

My folks gave both my sister and I $10K towards our weddings when my sister got engaged. They basically said this is your wedding money do with it as you will but that is it no more money. My sister used it for her wedding and I used it to take my folks on an unforgetable trip to Egypt and Turkey.
Therefore we are paying for 100% of the wedding. My folks are hosting a brunch the day after the wedding as they said it was only fair as they did this for my sister as well as an extra.

lsvensson · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_whos-paying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:db38d05b-c383-42e5-80db-a9164ad59682Post:23d6d38e-9696-423c-a25d-e750cc7cf981">Re: Who's Paying?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who's Paying? : How many people are you inviting?
Posted by CamilleJon[/QUOTE]

<div>About 108. Hoping we'll get 80-85, but it's hard to say...we could have as few as 60 or as many as 100. Time will tell.</div>

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