Gay Weddings

Budget might change -- what would you do?

My fiance and I live in Missouri, where short of Supreme Court intervention there's zero hope of gay marriage being legal in the forseeable future.  We've gotten tired of saying "someday we'll have a ceremony" and hearing all our friends tell us we should just go for it and stop waiting (we've been together 7 years already), so we've set a date for next year and are excitedly planning.  At some point we're open to going to another state and getting hitched for real, but we haven't wanted to go out of our way to do so since it won't make any difference whatsoever back here at home.  We were actually going to go down to DC and do it the last time we visited her parents in NJ, but the logistics didn't work out.

However, it's a good possibility that in the very near future I could get a promotion that comes with a significant raise.  I'm certainly not going to make any new plans before I know for sure, but my family has raised the question of whether or not more income would change our wedding plans. 

We don't want to increase our actual wedding budget very much because the ceremony and reception plans we've made are just fine and don't need to be made extravagant for no reason.  We haven't been planning much of a honeymoon, though, (we've been thinking maybe a quick trip to Vegas at the most) and we both agree that if I get the promotion we should ramp up our honeymoon plans, since we've never really had the chance to just travel for fun.  And it opens the possibility of taking time out to elope somewhere within a few days of our ceremony.  We could either get married in NY and visit her family (her extended family won't be able to travel to our ceremony) on our way to somewhre more exciting, or honeymoon somewhere in a state that recognizes gay marriage, or just not even bother with a legal marriage and just go someplace fun.

If our budget changes, do you all think it's worth it to bother getting married legally in conjunction with the wedding we've already planned, or should we just wait until we visit her parents again (which probably won't be for at least another year)?
imageWhite Knot Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Budget might change -- what would you do?

  • K&J64K&J64 member
    edited December 2011
    I would get a legal marriage too, why not? Who knows what the future of DOMA is, so you could still be married in another state and have that one day recognized by the federal government even if your state does not legalize gay marriage.

    I'd stop in NY/NJ see her family get married in NYC (assuming you can get married if you live out of state? you'll need to look into that) and then maybe take a Caribbean cruise out of NY, or go to Bermuda or the Bahamas for a week or two from there. Good luck with the promotion and happy planning!

  • nicknuttncnicknuttnc member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would definitely get married legally. You never know what might happen to the marriage laws in your state and you might want to have this legal aspect done. You should definitely take a great trip to somewhere you both would love and make it all you want it to be. I personally am going to get married in NY before I have a ceremony and reception at my home.
    I like the legal aspect of the marriage. I recently had friends (Tee and LaLa) of mine who were a couple for ten years. Lala and my five godchildren where killed in an accident little over 8 months ago. Tee and Lala never got legaly married because they felt like in NC it did not matter, they did however have a commitment ceremony here. Well now that Lala gone Tee is fighting with Lala's mother in court over the estate. Because there was no will ( Lala and Tee were only 31 at the time of the accident) her mother is rightly entitled to the estate with Lala name on it.The lawyer told Tee if they would have gotten married legally then that would have shown intent on how Lala viewed her life. The couple bought a home, cars, and material possession together while in a 10 year relationship. The mother wants Lala share of the possession and is trying to make Tee sell the life they bought together.( all the time Lala mother was not supportive of her daughter or grandkids.) I want a legal marriage to protect my spouse from any claims against the estate if anything happens to me or her. (I pray this will never happen but I want to be protected if it does)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Budget might change -- what would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The lawyerr told Tee if they would have gotten married legaly then that would have shown intent on how Lala viewed her life.
    Posted by nicknuttnc[/QUOTE]

    I never thought about that.  That's a good point.
    imageWhite Knot Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards