huskypuppy14 member


Boston Suburbs
Last Active
  • Re: Just married, going through gifts and envelopes

    MesmrEwe said:
    Unless Jill asked your Mom or yourself if you got their card/gift - and it's not there with your wedding stuff and you've gone through EVERYthing, and the others are highly suspicious (i.e. Uncle Jack gives everyone a $10 toaster and brags about wrapping it in a brown paper bag with duck tape and you saw him bring it in and it wasn't there when you unwrapped everything) - then the proper thing to do is to follow up with everyone including contacting the venue (who may have security footage) and potentially filing a police report for stolen items.  Otherwise - the proper action is no action other than an thank-you for attending note.  Not everyone brings a card nor gift, and traditionally people have up to a year to send one if they didn't bring it to the wedding.  Otherwise, you should never contact someone to ask if they got you a gift and you can't find it. 
    I was of the understanding that you don't send a thank you for attending note because it could look gift grabby.
    Correct. You don't give thank you cards topeople for attending, because  that was what the reception is. 

    The only time I heard of someone contacting guests to inquire about gifts is when the card box was stolen at the hotel. The bride and groom's parents called people, (this wasn't a wedding I attended, a friend told me about it). She said the mother of the bride was very apologetic but explained the situation and just asked if they gave anything because they still wanted to thank people. 
  • Re: Massachusetts- Quebec City

    Cape cod is nice, and it will be at the end of the busy season in October. In New England, early October is usually still nice weather wise and you won't have as many tourists. Chatham and Yarmouth have a lot of restaurants and hotels and beaches, but they book up, even probably for October. Provincetown is also a popular area and there is a ferry (90 minutes) from Boston that  runs until October 10. 

    Salem is very busy in October, but you are going in the beginning of the month so it's a little better than the end of the month.

    If you like mountains you can go to New Hampshire- North Conway and the Mt washington area are popular. Ogunquit, Maine is also a popular spot. Bar Harbor is nice but it's a little far from Boston and it might be winding down their season so not as many places may be open. My sister went in late April and half the restaurants were closed because they don't open until May.
  • Re: Who Pays for the Day After Brunch?

    banana468 said:
    I still don't understand the gift opening portion of this. Why open the gifts? Why does this need to be done in front of your brunch guests? If the brunch is to spend more time with people, why include something where you're not really interacting with your guests?

    Also, let's say Aunt Mary could only afford a boxed gift of hand towels. That gift is then opened up and displayed for everyone to see, while Uncle Jim gave you a $300 vase. IMO, it just comes off as distasteful. 
    This.   If I thought you were going to do a public gift opening after the wedding I probably would send you a wedding gift a week or two after the big day.

    I give a shower gift knowing that it's for public viewing.   I give a wedding gift with the concept that it's for the B&G's eyes only. 

    I don't follow this logic.

    That exact hypothetical scenario from Climbing's post is played out all the time at bridal and baby showers, and children's birthday parties, and Christmas gift exchanges with no monetary limits, etc. Anyone looking down their noses at what other people are giving as gifts are shallow, materialistic assholes, frankly.

    This is one of those times in life when you just have to get over your own anxiety and feelings of inadequacy and fears of being judged, or you decline the shower invitation.

    Not that I'm advocating for opening gifts at a post wedding brunch, but if we don't worry about possibly shaming ppl for publicly opening shower gifts- not to do so would be rude, as I have heard 1 million times on these boards, then why would we worry about possibly shaming ppl by publicly opening gifts at a post wedding brunch?
    I've posted about my cousin's upcoming wedding a few times so far, it's black tie ~optional~ and it a 3 hour drive from where literally every guest lives, but it's their day blahblahblah. My husband's cheap as shit [bragged about leaving a 15% tip because of "amazing service"] boss (well, not direct boss but the guy one step above his group of coworkers) was telling him we had to give them at least $250/each because of the level of formality of their wedding and that it was my family. I was prepared for my husband to say he was joking but he was for real, apparently if you don't give at least $250 for a black tie and/or family wedding you're cheap and shouldn't even bother going.

    We are going to give what we can afford at the time of the wedding along with a nice card, I've already decided we're not telling anyone else what we're giving because too many people are shallow materialistic assholes. But if they want to judge that's their problem, I'm just not going to go about sharing our finances and gift choices.

    This same cousin is having welcome drinks Friday night and a goodbye brunch Sunday morning, neither of which we will be attending, but I hope the brunch isn't a gift opening. She didn't even open the gifts at her shower, maybe because she had ~100 guests and I can't imagine how long that would have taken.
    Why would you ever had to tell anyone how much you gave as  a gift. The only people who should know that is the giver and the receiver.

    Also, whether it's a shower or a gift giving brunch, the bride and groom should never be broadcasting the monetary value of each gift. At my showers I have never said thank you grandma for the 100 dollar check, thank you aunt Mary for the 35 dollars. That's incredibly rude. 

    In addition, I believe it's actually proper to send a boxed gift ahead of time or after the wedding to the couple and not being it to the wedding itself. That's how I was taught. That's why most people just give cards. Clearly, this is regional. I've been to post wedding brunches, but none opened gifts and I would never think they would.
  • Re: Who Pays for the Day After Brunch?

    Why would anyone even bring boxed gifts to a destination wedding? Open your gifts at home. With your husband.
    Yeah I had a wedding that was not a destination and most people didn't bring boxed gifts. I think we had maybe 6 boxed gifts at the wedding and like 50 cards. Most people send a gift a head of time to your house or give a card with money at the wedding. No one wants to watch you open 50 cards, unless they are extremely nosy.
  • Re: Who Pays for the Day After Brunch?

    What everyone else said. It's extremely rude of your mom to want something and expect someone else to pay for it. The only people responsible for the costs of the wedding are the couple getting married.

     If the parents or uncles or grandparents or whoever offer money or to host something, that's great and the couple can take them up on the offer. But in what world is it ok to say "hey groom's parents, we want a morning after brunch and you have to pay for it". That is how people have wedding planning issues and arguments.

    No one has to pay for anything they don't want to.