Getting married before destination wedding?

mcartermod

SOrry, but I disagree with the above person. If a person gets upset that you got legally married the week before your ceremony, that's quite ridiculous on their part. I for one would not be upset over something like that, and I think in most cases just about everybody would understand the circumstances. My FI and I are doing a symbolic ceremony in either the Dominican or Mexico. Two different travel agents so far have told us this is actually the most popular route to go, as getting married legally in these countries is not only a ton more expensive, it's also a huge hassle as they have intense processes. My FI and I are actually getting married legally AFTER the ceremony, and both travel agents once again say this is perfectly fine. Anyone who has a problem with a symbolic ceremony is way to uptight and need to get their panties out of a wad.

mrs4everhart

Jells2dot0 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Jells2dot0 said:

icecreamcono said:

Jells2dot0 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Y'all don't worry about the whole "PPD" thing - it's among the silliest made up crap ever spewed. If getting married in your local jurisdiction prior to leaving makes your life and your DW easier, go for it! Seriously! Mexico is a particular PITA. I wouldn't waste a second of my long awaited trip to Tulum running around, getting poked by needles and spending needless hundreds of dollars when I could be on the beach with a margarita in my hand with my family and friends! 

Then my question would be WHY bother planning a DW when you have to plan out  civil ceremony at home. Might as well just do the traditional thing at home an not worry about traveling. Not trying to argue, but to me, if someone decides to do a DW then it seems silly if they chose a destination where they didn't want to follow the legal requirements. 

Totally understand your questioning on this, so indulge me for a moment by going into my own particulars. I don't think I'm a special snowflake, but the fact is that there can be a lot of variables that influence the decision to get legally married first (or after the fact), not just that a JOP wedding wouldn't be fancy enough.

Originally we thought we would get married in Ireland, looked into the legal requirements, and after some confusion about residency requirements, opted for Italy instead. The legal requirements in Italy were that we get married at city hall. Beautiful building, totally fine with that. It only sat 35 people. I thought that was fine because: who's going to go to Italy for my wedding, right? Well, at that point, word had spread through both of our families (which aren't small to begin with) and we received a lot of excited feedback. Most of my family is Italian, and they have been looking for an excuse to make the trip anyway. The immediate invite list swelled from under 35 to over 60. We were then faced with the following options:

1. Switch the venue, make it a symbolic ceremony, invite everyone.

2. Nix the whole idea, get married in LA, invite three times that list, throw a less luxurious party for my guests because everything here is so expensive. 

3. Let my family down by saying we can't invite everyone because the venue is too small. Only invite 35 people.

Well, we tried #3. It didn't take. A lot of family, friends of family, etc. said they would go anyway and stand in the back of the room. Some went as far as booking apartments. There was also the problem that they don't do weddings in the afternoons, and we would have ti have a gap between the ceremony and reception because the venues that offer lunch receptions were already really picked over. So we switched venues. We are having a symbolic ceremony because that was the choice that made the most sense for our guests. 

No, we didn't have to invite them, but when all is said and done we wanted to throw a party that was more about them than us. So we compromised on the logistics. 

You at least tried to actually follow the legal requirements. I'm questioning those who know the legal requirements going into it but can't be bothered to actually follow through with them because it's too much work. IMHO, it seems selfish to be married somewhere but not want to do what the country requires you to do just because the person doesn't like the requirements or doesn't think its worth their time to go through the process. It just screams that the only reason someone chose the destination is because it looks pretty and it would be fun to sip cocktails on a beach with their friends. You can do that at home, but maybe your cocktails aren't with your toes in the sand. It just looks like the destination's laws don't matter that person, and I just want my pretty pictures and want my guests to be impressed!!! I know not every DW falls into this category, but at the higher level, it just sounds selfish. Again all my personal opinion and everyone is entitled to one. Of course, if there is family in that destination or cultural significance, the destination obviously is important and the couple obviously won't come off as being so selfish.However, it all boils down the original point- not telling your guests it's not the actual wedding!!! Fine, you don't want to head to Mexico two days earlier to get blood taken, so you have a civil ceremony before you leave. I don't agree with it. But, to do that and then not have your guests in the loop with your plans? That is REALLY rude IMHO.

Plus, it's going to take half a day to head down to the court house, fill out some paperwork, and have the civil union. So, it's saving maybe a day and a half? I think it's good to arrive early into a destination prior to a wedding just because of all of the things that can happen (flights, wedding coordination) and to also be rested before the actual event.

edit- spelling

 

 

@Jells2dot0 - To the bolded, certainly I can't say how long it takes everyone in every jurisdiction but we were in and out of the courthouse in under an hour, no half day wasted at all. And Mexico's legalities are more complicated for foreigners than you have intimated. In addition to blood tests and HUNDREDS of dollars in fees, the couple and 4 witnesses must be IN COUNTRY a minimum of 72 hours, weekends excluded. Thanks, but no thanks. 

I am aware of the requirements. I considered destinations all over the world when planning my wedding. I actually eliminated some from my list because of the requirements. I was looking at one place that required me to be in country for 3 weeks- it didn't fit my circumstances so I didn't get married there! That's all I'm asking- WHY choose to have a wedding some place where you don't want to follow the laws in order to have your marriage legal? One pp said she was having a ceremony in Africa because of cultural significance. She answered the question and her reasoning made sense. Again, I get it if it's a cultural thing or if all of your family lives there and it's important to be married where your family lives, but otherwise, it just seems selfish by making guests take vacation time and spend a thousand dollars plus because the bride and groom wanted nice beach pictures for a ceremony that is not even the actual marriage.

To the bolded: I'm not making anyone do anything! If only I had that power! If people choose to attend, great. If not, we'll still be there unless a hurricane has other plans for us.

We decided on Mexico bc 1. we knew we wanted a beach wedding. 2. it's super inexpensive compared to many other destinations. 3. we have family closing on their newly built condo a month before so it would be a dual purpose trip for a few folks attending. 4. we plan on a lot of future travel in that part of MX. 5. no, Mexican laws don't mean anything to us where marital requirements were concerned. Obviously. In fact, it's such a common occurrence that all the venues we considered in the area of MX we'll be going to offer non-religious symbolic ceremonies, because that many US couples just meet the legal requirements ahead of time where they're from instead of dealing with the rigamarole of Mexican requirements. 

Jells2dot0

Thank you for addressing my question. As you probably saw, I found the other thread you are currently actively participating on. I didn't realize that it was more than just not wanting to adhere to the legalities. You obviously had your legal ceremony for other reasons than just not wanting to follow the Mexican law. IMHO, that makes it even worse. But, that's my opinion. Again, I hope that this all works out for you and that in the end, noone is offended.

atyson03

I'm sorry but I just felt the need to interject here, who are you "jell2dot0" to belittle and talk down to those who may consider having a "legal ceremony" at their hometown before heading to their DW. Also, as far as the legal ceremony, all it is is driving to the courthouse signing the paper and paying a small fee (much smaller than you would have to pay at the DW) and you are finished. No vows or rings are exchanged! To each their own option but you are taking it above and beyond by your rude statements and making people feel like they are liars to their guests if they decide to do so. Plus the people who will be traveling to the DW will be coming because they want to be there and love you, and I highly doubt any of them would care if you had signed a piece of paper back home before you come saying you are married. Heck you would have to do that when you got back home anyway to be married legally in your state or wherever. 

msuprincess04

atyson03 said:

I'm sorry but I just felt the need to interject here, who are you "jell2dot0" to belittle and talk down to those who may consider having a "legal ceremony" at their hometown before heading to their DW. Also, as far as the legal ceremony, all it is is driving to the courthouse signing the paper and paying a small fee (much smaller than you would have to pay at the DW) and you are finished. No vows or rings are exchanged! To each their own option but you are taking it above and beyond by your rude statements and making people feel like they are liars to their guests if they decide to do so. Plus the people who will be traveling to the DW will be coming because they want to be there and love you, and I highly doubt any of them would care if you had signed a piece of paper back home before you come saying you are married. Heck you would have to do that when you got back home anyway to be married legally in your state or wherever. 

But when you are done paying the fee and signing the paper you are married.  Having a party later where you pretend that you are unmarried before it and married after it, seems silly. My family and friends want to see me get married, not pretend to get married.

mcartermod

Good grief, they are still getting "married", whether it's in the eyes of God, their family, whatever!! Even if they have signed a piece of paper already, they are still entitled to their WEDDING. A marriage is something that is worked on. Plenty of people sign that piece of paper, but hardly have a marriage.

I for one do not go around checking at every single wedding whether or not they have already been legally married or not. That is silly and at the end of the day, that's not what matters. I'm there to celebrate their marriage, whether they are legally married or not.

Jells2dot0

atyson03 said:

I'm sorry but I just felt the need to interject here, who are you "jell2dot0" to belittle and talk down to those who may consider having a "legal ceremony" at their hometown before heading to their DW. Also, as far as the legal ceremony, all it is is driving to the courthouse signing the paper and paying a small fee (much smaller than you would have to pay at the DW) and you are finished. No vows or rings are exchanged! To each their own option but you are taking it above and beyond by your rude statements and making people feel like they are liars to their guests if they decide to do so. Plus the people who will be traveling to the DW will be coming because they want to be there and love you, and I highly doubt any of them would care if you had signed a piece of paper back home before you come saying you are married. Heck you would have to do that when you got back home anyway to be married legally in your state or wherever. 

I am someone trying to give advice to someone who has the potential to completely offend the guests at her wedding!!! All I did was ask why she was choosing to have a ceremony in Mexico yet ignore the requirements. I didn't realize at the time that she was already married!!! Regardless, she is not telling her guests that she is already married. If her guests know that and still want to spend the money to travel to see her second ceremony, then that is their decision! However, they are making plans to travel without knowing the truth. IMHO, that is a slippery slope and she runs the risk of hurting people in her life.

 

FWIW to the bolded, you do NOT have to file anything in your state, depending on where you get married, after your DW. I took my Australian marriage cert right to social security and DMV and changed my name. No filing with the state necessary.

Also, if you feel I was belitting her and talking down to her, you must not have wandered very far off of this board, read other posts, and "met" other knotties.

kdimeglio6969

I am happy with my decision to do a civil ceremony here with the family that can not make it to Jamaica. The civil ceremony to me is paperwork.

My wedding is in Jamaica. Feb 7 will be the day I celebrate my anniversary.

So, call it selfish or whatever you will, but my wedding is in Jamaica.

""However, it all boils down the original point- not telling your guests it's not the actual wedding!!!""

It is an actual wedding. It is when I will follow the general wedding traditions of a white dress and share my vows in front of family & friends. To be offended by paperwork seems silly to me. To each their own.

I support whatever works best for the couple.

pbi9994

Honestly, I just don't get it. I don't get why it's rude. Guests are witnessing the exact same damn thing that they would be witnessing were it legal. And it's certainly not fake - call it a commitment ceremony - it means just as much as any other wedding. It's not like when it's legally done something physically changes. I would truly 100% never have a problem with it if I went to someone's wedding and it turned out they were already married. And I can't find a reason to get annoyed about it!

Also, just an observation: no other party is so incredibly tied to the life event it celebrates to the point where people think it's rude when you plan the celebration for a different day. This is true for birthdays, graduations, hell, I've seen it done for funerals - all of the above out of convenience.

What is it about a wedding that we feel like other people have to follow the same set of rules when their decisions really, truly aren't hurting or inconveniencing anybody?

mrs4everhart

missax said:

I think everyone should agree to disagree about whether or not it is ok to get legally married before a "DW" (for the record I am 100% against this rude trend)

The biggest problem I have here is the people who do not disclose to their guests that they will not be witnessing the actual moment when they become H&W, H&H, or W&W. You can call it "just paperwork" all day long but it's that paperwork that makes you married. Give your guests the option to attend or not. I would never knowingly attend a fake redo "wedding" and as you all can tell from the heated debates about it on multiple boards, there are a lot of people against it. I'd be willing to bet all of you planning to do this have at least a few guests who feel the way we do.

ETA - I do have one question for those of you who do plan on hiding from your guests that you're already married. If you think what you're doing is ok, why hide it?

To the bolded this is my answer from a different thread, copied and pasted:

I can't be more sincere when I say, for us, the licensing ahead of time was just a means to an end involving health insurance and simply does not define our relationship or marital status. How the state views us and how we view us are two entirely separate things. In our view our wedding in September IS our (one and only) wedding, therefore there is no need to discuss the previous licensing with anyone. It makes no sense to attach a long, drawn out story to the facts of our wedding. As far as we are concerned our wedding is scheduled for this September.

mrs4everhart

icecreamcono said:

Honestly, I just don't get it. I don't get why it's rude. Guests are witnessing the exact same damn thing that they would be witnessing were it legal. And it's certainly not fake - call it a commitment ceremony - it means just as much as any other wedding. It's not like when it's legally done something physically changes. I would truly 100% never have a problem with it if I went to someone's wedding and it turned out they were already married. And I can't find a reason to get annoyed about it!

Also, just an observation: no other party is so incredibly tied to the life event it celebrates to the point where people think it's rude when you plan the celebration for a different day. This is true for birthdays, graduations, hell, I've seen it done for funerals - all of the above out of convenience.

What is it about a wedding that we feel like other people have to follow the same set of rules when their decisions really, truly aren't hurting or inconveniencing anybody?

Couldn't have said it better myself!

sweethrt06

To me, the ceremony is when I am actually getting married.  Paperwork is paperwork.  Even if we got legally married at home a week before we left for our wedding I wouldn't feel like I was married until after we got back home from our wedding/honeymoon.  We are having a destination wedding so that it is more intimate with the people who are closest to us.  They aren't going to care if we already filled out the paperwork.  They'll love us anyway and still enjoy every moment of our wedding day.

WinstonsGirl

I did a DW, and we were legally married out of the the country.  It cost me over $1000 extra in days off work and paying for my supply teacher than it would have to stay here and not take the time off.  We needed to be there a couple of days earlier so we could apply for the license.  We also omitted several countries to get married in based on their requirements.  

I love my friends and family but I have no desire to give up my vacation time to see you get "married" if you were already married before.  I want to see the real thing, not a re-inactment.

pbi9994

Can't speak for everyone, but no one is "giving up" vacation time by going to my wedding. They are going on a vacation they would have loved to go on anyway. There isn't a single person on my guest list who is like, "Ugh, Italy? Guess I'll go anyway cause I want to see Ice get married." 

My wedding, like most weddings on this particular board, was built as a group vacation that happens to surround an event, not an event that happens to require a vacation.

Ausome13

I would really like to do the entire process at my destination. I am ruling out locations I really was excited about due to requirements. That being said, I don't think it's an issue doing the legal stuff here. To each their own. And I don't know about ya'll, but my friends and family would come half way across the world watch me exchange shells in a made up ceremony celebrating cheese if I told them it meant a lot to me. The people in my life love and support my decisions so I really don't think any of my circle would be disappointed. Plus, I'm not asking them to come to some God forsaken place and "waste vacation" I'm giving them a reason to come to paradise! 

Bonobo528

You all have certainly given me lots to think about! I definitely see the benefits for getting married before hand for paper sake, insurance, and stuff like that but I also see the other side, the personal emotional side. In my eyes, raw emotion and the idea of you only get this moment once, trumps the hoops we'll have to jump through. I want the time we say our vows to be the first and only time. Not saying the words won't mean as much spoken at the IL courthouse... I just feel the moment will be better captured when we say them for the first time at the actual ceremony on the beach.  It is clearly a deep personal decision for any couple. To each their own!

[Deleted User]

Whoa! I had no idea this topic inspired such strong opinions! 

Like you Bonobo, I have the same dilemma of whether or not to go to the courthouse before (or even after) our wedding ceremony in Mexico. I understand both sides. We would love to have the ceremony in Mexico be fully and totally legal because doing the paperwork beforehand does feel a little bit anti-climactic. On the flip side, the requirements for the legal ceremony in Mexico are a headache, and we might not be able to do them because of our timeframe for the wedding. 

I know that none of our guests would be upset that we were legally married in the US before we came to Mexico. My fiancé and I, all of our families, and friends, view our wedding in Mexico as our real wedding. It also might be a regional thing too - we live in New York and most of our friends think you actually HAVE to get married legally before your destination wedding. It's become the custom to do that instead, and we're actually the only people I know of (in our general friend group) who are trying to do a legal Mexican ceremony.

Like other people have said, I think whatever suites you, your family, and your guests the best is the way you should go! I'm sure no matter what you decide to do, everyone will be happy to celebrate with you and you'll have an awesome day!

pumpkinsandturkeys

You all may not have an issue with having a destination PPD because it fits your vision of your wedding. You may not be able to imagine that someone you know may be offended by being led to believe that they're witnessing an actual wedding (ie: legal commitment ceremony) because it doesn't offend you.

That doesn't mean that your PPD is a wedding. It doesn't mean that people will not be offended over being duped. If you don't care about this, then by all means -- go for it. We're just trying to let you know that it's dishonest and inconsiderate, and that you should be upfront with your guests ahead of time so that they can decide whether or not they want to spend thousands of dollars supporting a reenactment.

Your wedding is when you sign that "piece of paper", as some of you like to refer to it. Anything after that is just a party, a celebration -- that includes traditional wedding receptions that take place immediately after a ceremony. You may not like that definition of a wedding, but that's what it is. If you are going to fake a wedding ceremony later, at least have the decency to be honest and forthcoming about it.

Newsflash: it's not all about YOU and what YOU want. It's about being thoughtful and considerate of the people who are choosing to share this moment of your life with you. Or at least, they think they're sharing this moment with you, in the case of a PPD. Show them some respect.

Edited: spelling

MobKaz

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

You all may not have an issue with having a destination PPD because it fits your vision of your wedding. You may not be able to imagine that someone you know may be offended by being led to believe that they're witnessing an actual wedding (ie: legal commitment ceremony) because it doesn't offend you.

That doesn't mean that your PPD is a wedding. It doesn't mean that people will not be offended over being duped. If you don't care about this, then by all means -- go for it. We're just trying to let you know that it's dishonest and inconsiderate, and that you should be upfront with your guests ahead of time so that they can decide whether or not they want to spend thousands of dollars supporting a reenactment.

Your wedding is when you sign that "piece of paper", as some of you like to refer to it. Anything after that is just a party, a celebration -- that includes traditional wedding receptions that take place immediately after a ceremony. You may not like that definition of a wedding, but that's what it is. If you are going to fake a wedding ceremony later, at least have the decency to be honest and forthcoming about it.

Newsflash: it's not all about YOU and what YOU want. It's about being thoughtful and considerate of the people who are choosing to share this moment of your life with you. Or at least, they think they're sharing this moment with you, in the case of a PPD. Show them some respect.

Edited: spelling

Is it possible to show respect to others when you show a complete and utter lack of self respect? No one who would go out of their way to lie and deceive their supposed loved ones can possibly have any self respect.

APDSS22

Rikalarson said:

Whoa! I had no idea this topic inspired such strong opinions! 

Like you Bonobo, I have the same dilemma of whether or not to go to the courthouse before (or even after) our wedding ceremony in Mexico. I understand both sides. We would love to have the ceremony in Mexico be fully and totally legal because doing the paperwork beforehand does feel a little bit anti-climactic. On the flip side, the requirements for the legal ceremony in Mexico are a headache, and we might not be able to do them because of our timeframe for the wedding. 

I know that none of our guests would be upset that we were legally married in the US before we came to Mexico. My fiancé and I, all of our families, and friends, view our wedding in Mexico as our real wedding. It also might be a regional thing too - we live in New York and most of our friends think you actually HAVE to get married legally before your destination wedding. It's become the custom to do that instead, and we're actually the only people I know of (in our general friend group) who are trying to do a legal Mexican ceremony.

Like other people have said, I think whatever suites you, your family, and your guests the best is the way you should go! I'm sure no matter what you decide to do, everyone will be happy to celebrate with you and you'll have an awesome day!

Whoa, you can read minds?!?!

pumpkinsandturkeys

TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

Rikalarson said:

Whoa! I had no idea this topic inspired such strong opinions! 

Like you Bonobo, I have the same dilemma of whether or not to go to the courthouse before (or even after) our wedding ceremony in Mexico. I understand both sides. We would love to have the ceremony in Mexico be fully and totally legal because doing the paperwork beforehand does feel a little bit anti-climactic. On the flip side, the requirements for the legal ceremony in Mexico are a headache, and we might not be able to do them because of our timeframe for the wedding. 

I know that none of our guests would be upset that we were legally married in the US before we came to Mexico. My fiancé and I, all of our families, and friends, view our wedding in Mexico as our real wedding. It also might be a regional thing too - we live in New York and most of our friends think you actually HAVE to get married legally before your destination wedding. It's become the custom to do that instead, and we're actually the only people I know of (in our general friend group) who are trying to do a legal Mexican ceremony.

Like other people have said, I think whatever suites you, your family, and your guests the best is the way you should go! I'm sure no matter what you decide to do, everyone will be happy to celebrate with you and you'll have an awesome day!

Whoa, you can read minds?!?!

You didn't know that Princesses are psychic and so highly evolved that they're exempt to the rules of the rest of the world? For shame! ...WW has been assuring brides of that for years

climbingsingle

Rikalarson said:

Whoa! I had no idea this topic inspired such strong opinions! 

Like you Bonobo, I have the same dilemma of whether or not to go to the courthouse before (or even after) our wedding ceremony in Mexico. I understand both sides. We would love to have the ceremony in Mexico be fully and totally legal because doing the paperwork beforehand does feel a little bit anti-climactic. On the flip side, the requirements for the legal ceremony in Mexico are a headache, and we might not be able to do them because of our timeframe for the wedding. 

I know that none of our guests would be upset that we were legally married in the US before we came to Mexico. My fiancé and I, all of our families, and friends, view our wedding in Mexico as our real wedding. It also might be a regional thing too - we live in New York and most of our friends think you actually HAVE to get married legally before your destination wedding. It's become the custom to do that instead, and we're actually the only people I know of (in our general friend group) who are trying to do a legal Mexican ceremony.

Like other people have said, I think whatever suites you, your family, and your guests the best is the way you should go! I'm sure no matter what you decide to do, everyone will be happy to celebrate with you and you'll have an awesome day!

Hahahahaha! Um no. I live in New York and have my whole life. It is not a regional thing. I have attended many DWs for people that reside in NY. They all do it the right way - they get legally married in the country their DW is happening in. So, again NO. Not a regional thing.

[Deleted User]

Ok, ok, perhaps it is just the people that I have spoken to who did not find it unusual to get legally married just before their destination wedding celebration. My apologies for lumping. 

Again, I realize this topic seems to touch a nerve with people. All I wanted to say was that I very much do understand OP's dilemma and both sides/opinions on the topic.

firebabe6519

Your whole concept of the JOP ceremony being "just signing the papers" is insulting. There are many people across the world who would look to be able to " just sign the papers!" Who are you to belittle that?

If you want to have a PPD and stomp all over etiquette feel free. You are hopefully an adult and can deal with the consequences of your actions. If a PPD is what you want to do, fine. But at least do the honorable thing and don't lie to your guests. Be honest about it up front. Is that really too much to ask?

Especially considering the masses who would be overjoyed for the sole honor of being able to have a simple JOP ceremony. A little respect goes a very long way.

[Deleted User]

firebabe6519 said:

Your whole concept of the JOP ceremony being "just signing the papers" is insulting. There are many people across the world who would look to be able to " just sign the papers!" Who are you to belittle that? If you want to have a PPD and stomp all over etiquette feel free. You are hopefully an adult and can deal with the consequences of your actions. If a PPD is what you want to do, fine. But at least do the honorable thing and don't lie to your guests. Be honest about it up front. Is that really too much to ask? Especially considering the masses who would be overjoyed for the sole honor of being able to have a simple JOP ceremony. A little respect goes a very long way.

Hi Firebabe - you're absolutely right. I didn't mean to belittle or disrespect anyone's wedding, and I'm sorry if it came across as that. You're totally right about mentioning it to people (guests etc.)! I don't think anyone was trying to encourage not being honest about whether or not you had another ceremony before the DW (I certainly was not intending to).

Also, and I guess this will probably get jumped all over, but being a new person here I'd never heard the term PPD. Honestly, it sounds demeaning and disrespectful too, so I'm not sure why people keep using it...  

mrs4everhart

Rikalarson said:

Ok, ok, perhaps it is just the people that I have spoken to who did not find it unusual to get legally married just before their destination wedding celebration. My apologies for lumping. 

Again, I realize this topic seems to touch a nerve with people. All I wanted to say was that I very much do understand OP's dilemma and both sides/opinions on the topic.

I don't think it's regional thinking per se, but we live in Colorado and are friends with three couples that got married here (two before, one after) and then had weddings in different areas of Mexico. It is really normal here, everyone you talk to automatically accepts it or expects it as just what happens with DW's to Mexico. The Mexican government is looking to gouge tourists. Um. no thanks!

MobKaz

STBMrsEverhart said:

Rikalarson said:

Ok, ok, perhaps it is just the people that I have spoken to who did not find it unusual to get legally married just before their destination wedding celebration. My apologies for lumping. 

Again, I realize this topic seems to touch a nerve with people. All I wanted to say was that I very much do understand OP's dilemma and both sides/opinions on the topic.

I don't think it's regional thinking per se, but we live in Colorado and are friends with three couples that got married here (two before, one after) and then had weddings in different areas of Mexico. It is really normal here, everyone you talk to automatically accepts it or expects it as just what happens with DW's to Mexico. The Mexican government is looking to gouge tourists. Um. no thanks!

Three couples = normal?  Since when?  Could you make a more sweeping generalization than saying "everyone"?  How kind, and arrogant, of you to speak on the entire behalf of the state of Colorado. 

DreamsBride411

I can't get over how bunched some of your panties are!

Your guests are going to give approximately zero fcuks that you signed a legal document a minute before you left to get married once they're on the beach, in the sun, sipping slushy mudslides.  Your marriage will not be a sham or a vow renewal or a reenactment. 

I brought my pastor with us to Mexico when I got married a million years ago.  Whether we signed our marriage doc at home or in MX made absolutely no difference - I just didn't want any chance to lose the paperwork, so we did it right before we left, it was signed, sealed and delivered before it could get lost in a foreign country.  

Our wedding anniversary is 4/11/09 - the day we said our vows on the beach in Mexico, not 4/6/09, the day we signed a paper over spaghetti and meatballs in my BFF's living room.  

mrs4everhart

mobkaz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Rikalarson said:

Ok, ok, perhaps it is just the people that I have spoken to who did not find it unusual to get legally married just before their destination wedding celebration. My apologies for lumping. 

Again, I realize this topic seems to touch a nerve with people. All I wanted to say was that I very much do understand OP's dilemma and both sides/opinions on the topic.

I don't think it's regional thinking per se, but we live in Colorado and are friends with three couples that got married here (two before, one after) and then had weddings in different areas of Mexico. It is really normal here, everyone you talk to automatically accepts it or expects it as just what happens with DW's to Mexico. The Mexican government is looking to gouge tourists. Um. no thanks!

Three couples = normal?  Since when?  Could you make a more sweeping generalization than saying "everyone"?  How kind, and arrogant, of you to speak on the entire behalf of the state of Colorado. 

Three that we know personally, TONS more by way of friends/relatives of friends. Yes, among many, it's very normal. After living here as long as I have I feel I can speak pretty well about what's "normal" here. No, not everyone here calls in sick on fresh powder days, likes craft beer and summer shows at Red Rocks (whilst enjoying our amazing legal weed) - but we didn't get our stereotypes for no good reason! We have a large population of people who vacation in Mexico very frequently. It's not surprising many of us choose it as a wedding destination. That we prefer to not spend hundreds of dollars more making it legal there bc some women on the internet might poo poo it just makes us practical. 

mrs4everhart

DreamsBride411 said:

I can't get over how bunched some of your panties are!

Your guests are going to give approximately zero fcuks that you signed a legal document a minute before you left to get married once they're on the beach, in the sun, sipping slushy mudslides.  Your marriage will not be a sham or a vow renewal or a reenactment. 

I brought my pastor with us to Mexico when I got married a million years ago.  Whether we signed our marriage doc at home or in MX made absolutely no difference - I just didn't want any chance to lose the paperwork, so we did it right before we left, it was signed, sealed and delivered before it could get lost in a foreign country.  

Our wedding anniversary is 4/11/09 - the day we said our vows on the beach in Mexico, not 4/6/09, the day we signed a paper over spaghetti and meatballs in my BFF's living room.  

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am giving you a standing ovation in my living room right now!!!

I'm curious if your screen name denotes your wedding location (a Dreams resort) and if so if you'd tell me which one and if you loved it!?