Maid of Dishonor

speedyblazer11

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

logana1

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

Maggie0829

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

logana1

Maggie0829 said:

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

She might.  The newest additions to her face I don't really accept at all to be perfectly honest.  it looks like she's a tagged animal for a scientific experiment.  I haven't told her that because she likes them, but I just want her to hide them for half a day.  Not really that much to ask in my opinion. 

MobKaz

@logana1 said..........." And if that makes me a bridezilla because I do care about my wedding's look over her, oh well. I'm getting married to my husband, and yes I want my pictures to be a cute memory, which to me means matching dresses, shoes, and jewelry. Every bride is different for a reason right? There's no right or wrong here."

The bottom line is that you had ONE real moment, and it is reflected in the above ^^ statement.  No amount of backpedaling will change it.  And that one statement absolutely gives us MORE than a glimmer as to who you are as a person.

Although cloning your BM's as props for pretty pictures is no longer the norm any more (with good reason), no one is arguing THAT point.  What is objectionable is forcing your BM's to PAY for your absurd vision. Shoes in particular have been argued ad nauseam as to why it is ridiculous to make a demand of footwear.  

You have made your priorities more than clear.  Props over people.  PIctures over people.  The shallowness of that egocentric attitude makes it clear you will never see another point of view.

speedyblazer11

That is what I was getting at.  I have a bit of an alternative life style from most women and I get the oh your going to wear that... all the time, even for my own wedding.  It is kind of hurtful. But to each their own.  There is no "winning" in this comment section, just wanted to put it out there that she might not feel like she should have to alter her looks b/c you should love her how she is NO MATTER what day it is. 

I see why your put set that she won't even consider wearing them, but it is her body. That would be like her saying to be in her wedding you had to gauge your ears.  Yes it would be easier for her just to put them in and deal with it, but she is obviously a woman with strong convictions.

Maggie0829

Maggie0829 said:

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

She might.  The newest additions to her face I don't really accept at all to be perfectly honest.  it looks like she's a tagged animal for a scientific experiment.  I haven't told her that because she likes them, but I just want her to hide them for half a day.  Not really that much to ask in my opinion. 

But in her opinion you wanting to change her chosen appearance is very hurtful. What if she had a shaved head? You asked her knowing that she shaves her head but yet you request that she wear a wig or grow her hair. In your mind you don't think that is too much to ask but when you ask someone to change their appearance for one day you are basically telling them that you don't think they look good enough as is to be in your wedding they way they are. Can you see how that could be hurtful and maybe why she is reacting the way she is to you? There is one thing about them all wearing the same dress and shoes but when you want to change their actual physical appearance which is what you are trying to do with requesting she fill in her gauges and take out facial piercings it makes them feel like they are not good enough.

logana1

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

She might.  The newest additions to her face I don't really accept at all to be perfectly honest.  it looks like she's a tagged animal for a scientific experiment.  I haven't told her that because she likes them, but I just want her to hide them for half a day.  Not really that much to ask in my opinion. 

But in her opinion you wanting to change her chosen appearance is very hurtful. What if she had a shaved head? You asked her knowing that she shaves her head but yet you request that she wear a wig or grow her hair. In your mind you don't think that is too much to ask but when you ask someone to change their appearance for one day you are basically telling them that you don't think they look good enough as is to be in your wedding they way they are. Can you see how that could be hurtful and maybe why she is reacting the way she is to you? There is one thing about them all wearing the same dress and shoes but when you want to change their actual physical appearance which is what you are trying to do with requesting she fill in her gauges and take out facial piercings it makes them feel like they are not good enough.

Sorry, I know I'm being snarky with this response, but you can fake a gauge also. 

logana1

mobkaz said:

@logana1 said..........." And if that makes me a bridezilla because I do care about my wedding's look over her, oh well. I'm getting married to my husband, and yes I want my pictures to be a cute memory, which to me means matching dresses, shoes, and jewelry. Every bride is different for a reason right? There's no right or wrong here."

The bottom line is that you had ONE real moment, and it is reflected in the above ^^ statement.  No amount of backpedaling will change it.  And that one statement absolutely gives us MORE than a glimmer as to who you are as a person.

Although cloning your BM's as props for pretty pictures is no longer the norm any more (with good reason), no one is arguing THAT point.  What is objectionable is forcing your BM's to PAY for your absurd vision. Shoes in particular have been argued ad nauseam as to why it is ridiculous to make a demand of footwear.  

You have made your priorities more than clear.  Props over people.  PIctures over people.  The shallowness of that egocentric attitude makes it clear you will never see another point of view.

I bet you've had an outburst or two in your life time Miss Perfect.

Maggie0829

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

She might.  The newest additions to her face I don't really accept at all to be perfectly honest.  it looks like she's a tagged animal for a scientific experiment.  I haven't told her that because she likes them, but I just want her to hide them for half a day.  Not really that much to ask in my opinion. 

But in her opinion you wanting to change her chosen appearance is very hurtful. What if she had a shaved head? You asked her knowing that she shaves her head but yet you request that she wear a wig or grow her hair. In your mind you don't think that is too much to ask but when you ask someone to change their appearance for one day you are basically telling them that you don't think they look good enough as is to be in your wedding they way they are. Can you see how that could be hurtful and maybe why she is reacting the way she is to you? There is one thing about them all wearing the same dress and shoes but when you want to change their actual physical appearance which is what you are trying to do with requesting she fill in her gauges and take out facial piercings it makes them feel like they are not good enough.

Sorry, I know I'm being snarky with this response, but you can fake a gauge also. 

This response right here tells me that you really don't give a fuck.

logana1

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

She might.  The newest additions to her face I don't really accept at all to be perfectly honest.  it looks like she's a tagged animal for a scientific experiment.  I haven't told her that because she likes them, but I just want her to hide them for half a day.  Not really that much to ask in my opinion. 

But in her opinion you wanting to change her chosen appearance is very hurtful. What if she had a shaved head? You asked her knowing that she shaves her head but yet you request that she wear a wig or grow her hair. In your mind you don't think that is too much to ask but when you ask someone to change their appearance for one day you are basically telling them that you don't think they look good enough as is to be in your wedding they way they are. Can you see how that could be hurtful and maybe why she is reacting the way she is to you? There is one thing about them all wearing the same dress and shoes but when you want to change their actual physical appearance which is what you are trying to do with requesting she fill in her gauges and take out facial piercings it makes them feel like they are not good enough.

Sorry, I know I'm being snarky with this response, but you can fake a gauge also. 

This response right here tells me that you really don't give a fuck.

About your opinion in general on this topic? No not so much.

Maggie0829

@logana1 - this girl will definitely be better off without you in her life.

antoto

Perhaps this is not really a productive subject anymore.  She asked for opinions, she got them... how bout we let this thread die?

Maggie0829

Which is exactly what I was letting it do once I figured out she didn't give two fucks. But thanks for telling me the obvious.

PrettyGirlLost

logana1 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Maggie0829 said:

logana1 said:

speedyblazer11 said:

I just have one question, you said that if you were in her wedding then you would wear whatever she wanted, so what if she wanted you to wear a super revealing dress and have you covered in temporary tattoos or something?  Would you still do it?  I only ask because it sound like to me that the two of you may have different ideas of "pretty" or "acceptable".  What if she feels like you are asking her to compromise who she as a person to fit into your box of bridesmaid.

 I don't know you or her, but if I felt like I was being told I had to wear something that was making me feel like how I am on a normal day isn't good enough, (like having interesting piercings) I would probably be bitchy too.  And yes I can see why some women feel the need to have everyone look the same on their special day, but maybe this friend being herself should mean a little more than your idea of cookie cutter maids. 

I hope that this helps, and I hope you and your friend repair your relationship after this is all over.  It is only one day after all.

I absolutely would wear whatever she wanted.  Short of being naked, I would wear whatever she asked me too. There's options to have alternative piercings blend in.  Hell, if she wanted to change them after the formal pictures, I wouldn't even care, but it's the flat out "no, I will never wear them" response from her that I find rude.

You know, she may see you wanting to cover up her piercings as a way of you trying to change her because you don't accept her the way she is.

She might.  The newest additions to her face I don't really accept at all to be perfectly honest.  it looks like she's a tagged animal for a scientific experiment.  I haven't told her that because she likes them, but I just want her to hide them for half a day.  Not really that much to ask in my opinion. 

But in her opinion you wanting to change her chosen appearance is very hurtful. What if she had a shaved head? You asked her knowing that she shaves her head but yet you request that she wear a wig or grow her hair. In your mind you don't think that is too much to ask but when you ask someone to change their appearance for one day you are basically telling them that you don't think they look good enough as is to be in your wedding they way they are. Can you see how that could be hurtful and maybe why she is reacting the way she is to you? There is one thing about them all wearing the same dress and shoes but when you want to change their actual physical appearance which is what you are trying to do with requesting she fill in her gauges and take out facial piercings it makes them feel like they are not good enough.

Sorry, I know I'm being snarky with this response, but you can fake a gauge also. 

This response right here tells me that you really don't give a fuck.

About your opinion in general on this topic? No not so much.

Then why the fuck did you post on this forum, if you already knew what you were going to do already?

For validation?  Or just to troll?

AddieCake

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

logana1

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

OliveOilsMom

Ms2MrsViney said:

@banana468 I actually edited my post, sadly your happy fingers beat me to it. Instead of addressing your high school behavior you point out a grammatical error that I corrected. Real classy. By the looks of your picture in your signature you're definitely too old to be acting like this and calling people names.

@KnotPorscha  Personal attack in this thread.

Gizmo813

logana1 said:

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

So ... you don't have any problems with facial piercings in general. You just don't like her's specifically because they're not what you would choose for yourself? That's the most shallow, hypocritical thing I've read in a while. With friends like you .... 

MobKaz

Gizmo813 said:

logana1 said:

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

So ... you don't have any problems with facial piercings in general. You just don't like her's specifically because they're not what you would choose for yourself? That's the most shallow, hypocritical thing I've read in a while. With friends like you .... 

She's won several awards, just in this thread alone!

logana1

logana1 said:

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

So ... you don't have any problems with facial piercings in general. You just don't like her's specifically because they're not what you would choose for yourself? That's the most shallow, hypocritical thing I've read in a while. With friends like you .... 

I'm shallow because I have an opinion on a type of piercing? Oh heavens no. Better send me to hell for having a single thought that is my own.

manateehugger

logana1 said:

logana1 said:

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

So ... you don't have any problems with facial piercings in general. You just don't like her's specifically because they're not what you would choose for yourself? That's the most shallow, hypocritical thing I've read in a while. With friends like you .... 

I'm shallow because I have an opinion on a type of piercing? Oh heavens no. Better send me to hell for having a single thought that is my own.

No, it's shallow to prioritize your opinions on aesthetics and wedding photos over a friendship.

logana1

PDKH said:

logana1 said:

logana1 said:

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

So ... you don't have any problems with facial piercings in general. You just don't like her's specifically because they're not what you would choose for yourself? That's the most shallow, hypocritical thing I've read in a while. With friends like you .... 

I'm shallow because I have an opinion on a type of piercing? Oh heavens no. Better send me to hell for having a single thought that is my own.

No, it's shallow to prioritize your opinions on aesthetics and wedding photos over a friendship.

My wedding, my deal. Sorry you don't like that, but I'm not having my wedding to please you.

banana468

logana1 said:

PDKH said:

logana1 said:

Gizmo813 said:

logana1 said:

AddieL73 said:

My husband has facial piercings. I had no idea he looked like a tagged animal.

Some are tasteful, I wanted one myself for a long long time.  The location and look of hers just do not appeal to me.

So ... you don't have any problems with facial piercings in general. You just don't like her's specifically because they're not what you would choose for yourself? That's the most shallow, hypocritical thing I've read in a while. With friends like you .... 

I'm shallow because I have an opinion on a type of piercing? Oh heavens no. Better send me to hell for having a single thought that is my own.

No, it's shallow to prioritize your opinions on aesthetics and wedding photos over a friendship.

De




My wedding, my deal. Sorry you don't like that, but I'm not having my wedding to please you.


It's very clear who you want to please.

banana468

OliveOilsMom said:

Ms2MrsViney said:

@banana468 I actually edited my post, sadly your happy fingers beat me to it. Instead of addressing your high school behavior you point out a grammatical error that I corrected. Real classy. By the looks of your picture in your signature you're definitely too old to be acting like this and calling people names.

@KnotPorscha  Personal attack in this thread.

Thanks @oliveoilsmom! @knotporscha, I'm sticking to the rules. It would be nice if they were enforced.

banana468

Ms2MrsViney said:

@banana498 no dice nice try though. I can definitely screen shot personal attacks if you to take it there. Nice try

Not once did I make a personal attack. Please show me where I did.

banana468

Ms2MrsViney said:

Please note: no one with half a functioning brain or an ounce of self respect would take advice from the troll.


@banana498

That isn't a personal attack.

grumbledore

A troll is a troll, that's just a fact.

artbyallie

@logana1, y'know, maybe you should just kick ALL of your bridesmaids out and pay some models to be in your wedding. That way you can even pick ones that are the same height and body type! Also, I've been itching to point this out from the beginning, but referring to this woman who you claim is your friend as 'maid of dishonor' is just incredibly nasty of you. What would she think of that were she to stumble across this thread?

MadHops21

doeydo said:

banana468 said:

"I do have one question though is put yourself in her shoes. What if one day you changed - say you had a child and became fat and your FH just threw his hands in the air and said "Sorry no deal. We're no longer married. You aren't changing like I want you too. I want you to loose weight. You haven't done it. We're done." How would that make you feel? It would hurt a lot, hearing that someone so close to you valued looks over true friendship and love. You most likely will not change your mind but this is just food for thought."

 

I'm sorry, that's comparing apples to oranges there.  If I was in her wedding and she asked me to wear something specific, I would, no questions asked.

And what would you do if your husband thought you should change the way you dress for him?

Good Question (even though it doesn't matter to the situation), but he did ask me to change how I dressed, and you know what, I did. 

What?  Was there something 'wrong' with the way you dressed (ie. way too revealing)?  Because that seems extremely controlling and is a red flag for me.  

Actually the opposite.  I would come home after working and go straight to pj's.  He wanted an inbetween for a few hours.  I wear a suit to work and hate it, so as soon as I come home, I use to switch out to pj's and slippers. 

STUCK

I come home from wearing very formal work clothes every day, too, and I go straight to my sweats and bra-less. FI has joked about it, but he knows how comfortable I am in this outfit and more myself than being stuffy in some suit. Your situation would raise red flags. 

I had an ex try to dictate the way I dressed. We broke up young. He then knocked up his next girlfriend, shot gun wedding, now live together. Men who are controlling are bad news.