S/O: What is the rudest comment someone has made about your wedding?

RWS2011

Still just engaged, but so far, my step sister's very judgmental mom asked me, "Why didn't you get a real diamond ring?"  I said, "Because I like my real moissanite ring."  To which, she added, "You are so weird."  She also said I better start losing weight because I don't want to be a fat bride.

The strangest thing so far: the woman who fitted me at Nordstrom for the bra that I'll wear on the wedding day, went on an on while ringing me up about how one day, years after she was divorced, she pulled out her preserved wedding dress and cut it to pieces.  Ohhhhhhhkaaay...

rooz103

Rebl90 said: pokey775 said: When we went in to pick up the engagement ring, we had an older saleslady exclaim, "Oh, you two will have the prettiest mixed babies!" She was really sweet, if misguided, so we smiled and thanked her, but we took a 5-minute laughter break as soon as we stepped outside. 
Incredibly, I've heard this same comment at least 3 times from both friends and strangers. On the one hand, thanks for the compliment? On the other hand, how did that make it through your brain-to-mouth filter?  I feel like you should just play dumb and watch them get flustered after you say, "Mixed?? Whatever do you mean?".  Because seriously, no one gets to be that rude. Good for you for having and amazing attitude about it though!


I would LOVE to do that one day, just to see their reactions, but I don't think we could keep a straight face long enough to pull it off. We'll have to start practicing our "sweet and naive" faces though, just in case. 

We already have a standing arrangement on how to deal with the "are you sure you want to do this?" comments the PP have received. We're to immediately dial up our SO, declare that we've seen the light and that we actually shouldn't be married, then hang up and continue the original conversation as though nothing had happened. 

mcgarci2

Ugh. Today a coworker that I have gotten fairly close with said, "Oh hey, I wanted to tell you!  I know you're going to give me an invitation to your wedding, but you won't be upset if I don't go right?"

(confused face on my part) "Um.. what?"

"Oh it's no big deal, I just hate weddings is all.  Dressing up and the dancing and all of that.  I had to drag myself to a friend's wedding that I've known my whole life.  It'd be different if I had known you my whole life.  I won't go if I don't have to.  I just hate weddings!"

(blank face) "Okay..." (walk away)

Marzipan13

Musikalbunni said:

Oh I got another one.

My co-worker asked me if I was wearing a veil. I am undecided at this point. So she says, "well only virgins wear veils!" 

She knows I live with my fiance and she is super religious. 

"Well, only shit comes out of assholes!"

HaileyDancingbear

When looking at my first apartment (Recently moved in, yay!  I would have liked to be out at 18, so in MY mind it's about damn time and took too long, but I still ended up "Leaving the nest" relatively early as I didn't go the whole 4 year college route and everyone else I know at my age is still either living at home or in dorms) I mentioned FI would be splitting the rent with me over the summer- he goes "What if you break up?" 

I took it with a grain of salt, since I guess that WOULD be a legitimate concern if I relied on FI to help afford the apartment.  But I also enjoyed the opportunity to brag a bit and say "Actually, I can afford the place on my own and will be paying the full rent by myself in the winter- I manage a very successful business nearby."  

XxWorkingOnItxX

the most frustrating I hear even though I'm not a pregnant teenager anymore is "You're too young, you don't know what you want." Umm, shall I start the list of achievements? Some people... smh

Vivandiere8

pokey775 said:

When we went in to pick up the engagement ring, we had an older saleslady exclaim, "Oh, you two will have the prettiest mixed babies!" She was really sweet, if misguided, so we smiled and thanked her, but we took a 5-minute laughter break as soon as we stepped outside. 

Incredibly, I've heard this same comment at least 3 times from both friends and strangers. On the one hand, thanks for the compliment? On the other hand, how did that make it through your brain-to-mouth filter? 

Cookie Pusher said:

FI and I get that a lot too, @pokey775! Like, seriously, how offensive can you get?!

I don't know ladies... is it really so offensive in the end? I don't find it so. i feel we are still transitioning a bit from one generation's way of talking to another and unless they mean it offensivly I would never take it as so. It might not be smart to say because people can be a bit hypersensitive about the mention of race, but when it's a positive sterio type is offensive the right word? I don't think I've heard that comment yet (just "you two will have beautiful children" without race mentioned) but if I did (I am Native American/Cacasian and fiance is African American) I think I would enthusiastically agree that they will be the most beautiful children the world has ever seen! I don't know, maybe I'm just not looking at it right but that's how I see it.

whitjoy

"I don't know ladies... is it really so offensive in the end? "

Cookie Pusher

Vivandiere8 said:

pokey775 said:

When we went in to pick up the engagement ring, we had an older saleslady exclaim, "Oh, you two will have the prettiest mixed babies!" She was really sweet, if misguided, so we smiled and thanked her, but we took a 5-minute laughter break as soon as we stepped outside. 

Incredibly, I've heard this same comment at least 3 times from both friends and strangers. On the one hand, thanks for the compliment? On the other hand, how did that make it through your brain-to-mouth filter? 

Cookie Pusher said:

FI and I get that a lot too, @pokey775! Like, seriously, how offensive can you get?!

I don't know ladies... is it really so offensive in the end? I don't find it so. i feel we are still transitioning a bit from one generation's way of talking to another and unless they mean it offensivly I would never take it as so. It might not be smart to say because people can be a bit hypersensitive about the mention of race, but when it's a positive sterio type is offensive the right word? I don't think I've heard that comment yet (just "you two will have beautiful children" without race mentioned) but if I did (I am Native American/Cacasian and fiance is African American) I think I would enthusiastically agree that they will be the most beautiful children the world has ever seen! I don't know, maybe I'm just not looking at it right but that's how I see it.

Yes, it is offensive. Would anyone say that to two Caucasian people whose ancestors were from different countries? No one says anything about "mixed babies" when it's say, an Italian mother and a Swedish father. What it comes down to is that that majority of people are of mixed heritage, but to single out only certain groups is offensive.

delujm0

The only "are you sure you want to do this" question i got was from my dad: "are you sure you want to do this whole big wedding thing?  i'm going to give you the same amount of money regardless, you can always just take it, buy a house, and elope!"

 

the closer we get to the acutal wedding the more i wish i had just taken the money and run, because then it would already be over with!  but i'm sure after it happens next month i'll be happy i did the whole big shebang. :-)

camnick

Not necessarily rude comments - but I've reached the point that it irritates me when people a) see our venue for the first time and seem surprised that we picked a nice place and described it accurately and b) when they keep trying to get me to get my coordinator to show them the inside (his family).  Is it weird that I want our guests to see it for the first time when it's all dressed up for our wedding?  *breaths out*  Only 3 months to go.

ethelbeavers

My FMIL has made multiple snarky and offensive comments about Catholics and Catholic weddings (I am Catholic, so is my fiance, his brother, and her husband--she's the literally the only one that is Presbyterian).

My mom almost lost her shit when I said I wanted peach roses because they are my favourite flower, "You can't have peach! It's hideous! Etc., etc."

An old family friend (an elderly lady that was invited to my twin brother's wedding last year) said (in less than an hour):
"You've lived together for over a year and have a house, what's the point of getting married?"
"You're going to grow your hair for the wedding, right? It's too blonde and too short."
"You're not going to show those awful tattoos, are you? What will your future grand-kids say?"
When looking through my brother's wedding picture album, "Your pictures are fantastic! Except for that one blonde bridesmaid that ruined them all." (that would be me).
Clearly she is not invited to the wedding!

My fiance's grandparents on us living together before marriage (behind our backs), "They're living in sin, what are they going to do next? Get divorced?" (Umm no, get married!)

DaisyMaeMommy

The "Are you sure you want to do this?" questions haven't started yet.

But FMIL asked me in private... "Why do you want to marry FH? He's practically a child."

Uuuuummmmm, what!?!? He'll be 24 years old when we get married, he's 22 now. HE IS NOT A CHILD!

CamiSelene

@DaisyMaeMommy, my FMIL said something very similar to me as well.... and my FI is turning 27 this year! Lol, I just shrug it off, laugh, and teasingly say "why do you think he's marrying a kindergarten teacher?". :P

VulgarGirl

It's not a real wedding.

You won't really be married.

Its not that I hate you, I just can't support your lifestyle this way. Can't you just be together and be happy?

Well whatever you do, don't have kids. They'll be teased!!!

Oh...what do your parents think? (said with the saddest face ever!!)

It's 2014 and two chicks getting married still really bugs some people. 

countrygirl061513

My mom asked me who I thought I was when I said that we would be having appetizers and providing dinner during our reception. When I was trying on wedding dresses, she told me that I had to pick the one she liked the most because she wanted to borrow it for when she re-married her husband in a few years.

The only other rude thing I was told about my wedding was over a year ago on here someone said that my wedding was going to be a hick/hillbilly wedding because the whole wedding party would be wearing boots.  

Inkdancer

MagicInk said:

It's not a real wedding.

You won't really be married.

Its not that I hate you, I just can't support your lifestyle this way. Can't you just be together and be happy?

Well whatever you do, don't have kids. They'll be teased!!!

Oh...what do your parents think? (said with the saddest face ever!!)

It's 2014 and two chicks getting married still really bugs some people. 

Those people stink.

Although I will admit that when my friend got engaged to her girlfriend, I did ask how her parents reacted. Mostly because her parents are still having a hard time with the "yes I used to date guys but now I don't" and I didn't think the engaged part would go over well with them.

But I promised to make her rainbow rhinestone shoes, so I think she forgave me.

sassyfrass2014

At the table next to us at a banquet (talking about our long engagement): "Someone please explain to me why a long engagement is a good idea? Why not just get married? Does anyone else think a long engagement is really really weird?"

To everyone else's credit, they were bean-dipping any and all of his attempts to get the table talking about the strange-ness of a long engagement... um. Okay.

Gibby2015

From my FSIL....  . 1 "do you know what....I think you have ruined FI's life...he's totally settling for you, he could do so much better and I'll never forgive you for that". 2. "You may be marrying him but I'm his blood, I'll always come first" - what the actual fuck?! 3. When I said to her, "you may be his sister but I'm going to be his wife and (hopefully) the future mother of his children," she rolled her eyes and said "yeah, unfortunately" ETA -sorry no paragraphs- damn iPad

DaisyMaeMommy

CamiSelene said:

@DaisyMaeMommy, my FMIL said something very similar to me as well.... and my FI is turning 27 this year! Lol, I just shrug it off, laugh, and teasingly say "why do you think he's marrying a kindergarten teacher?". :P

I can never find anything witty like that to say back. I usually give her a blank stare...

Although I'd love to look at her like this!

PrincessOfHavoc

I apparently must wear a long dress.

Spiffy. If that's enforceable, I'm dragging out my Victorian Irene Adler glitter feathered cos play outfit.

ashley8918

"Why so soon after the engagement? Are you PREGNANT?"

Um, no. Not that it's any of your business, rude bitch. Also, We were engaged in Feb, and will be getting married in Oct. That's not that soon...I would be REALLY pregnant by then if that were the case.

VulgarGirl

ashley8918 said:

"Why so soon after the engagement? Are you PREGNANT?"

Um, no. Not that it's any of your business, rude bitch. Also, We were engaged in Feb, and will be getting married in Oct. That's not that soon...I would be REALLY pregnant by then if that were the case.

One of my friends got engaged in February and married in October and EVERYONE asked her if she was pregnant. I was surprised because it really does not sound very short.

VulgarGirl

Inkdancer said:

MagicInk said:

It's not a real wedding.

You won't really be married.

Its not that I hate you, I just can't support your lifestyle this way. Can't you just be together and be happy?

Well whatever you do, don't have kids. They'll be teased!!!

Oh...what do your parents think? (said with the saddest face ever!!)

It's 2014 and two chicks getting married still really bugs some people. 

Those people stink.

Although I will admit that when my friend got engaged to her girlfriend, I did ask how her parents reacted. Mostly because her parents are still having a hard time with the "yes I used to date guys but now I don't" and I didn't think the engaged part would go over well with them.

But I promised to make her rainbow rhinestone shoes, so I think she forgave me.

I give a pass if you actually know the parents/family. Like a few friends have asked if we're inviting FI's mom, or if FI's mom even knows, and how FI is dealing with having a wedding without her mom. They know us, they know the tale of woe, they get to ask the questions.

The people who drive me nuts are the ones who assume because we're gay our parents hate us. Between us we have 6 parents who love us. Even if we're lesbians. 

Cstow06

"It's about time. You're probably pregnant and that's why he ask"

I'm not pregnant btw but wtf seriously???

beethery

I've gotten the pregnancy thing a couple times, but I have the foresight to respond that I am far along my third trimester with a 12 pound food baby.

adverb1129

Gibby2015 said:

From my FSIL....  . 1 "do you know what....I think you have ruined FI's life...he's totally settling for you, he could do so much better and I'll never forgive you for that". 2. "You may be marrying him but I'm his blood, I'll always come first" - what the actual fuck?! 3. When I said to her, "you may be his sister but I'm going to be his wife and (hopefully) the future mother of his children," she rolled her eyes and said "yeah, unfortunately" ETA -sorry no paragraphs- damn iPad

wow.  That's all really super hateful.  I'm guessing she's not the easiest person to get along with?

Marzipan13

I remember, as SOON as I got engaged (May 2013), my Godmother asked "When's the wedding?" - not an odd question, of course, until I told her the date (September 2014) and she responded with "Oh good, you're not pregnant then."

Thanks, Auntie.  

CowgirlK39

I am a total lurker but I thought I'd chime in.

We didn't have anyone say anything rude to us about the wedding, but one couple we are friends with let their jealousy become painfully evident. The guy made a comment to us about how our wedding will be "tough to beat." He proposed to his Gf a few weeks after our wedding, and I happily met up with them to congratulate them. The guy shoved his FIs ring in my face, bragged about the quality, and then began telling me all the ridiculous ways he planned to "beat" our wedding. We had left the reception in a fire truck because my DH is a very dedicated fireman, so our friend began saying he wanted to join the Air Force reserve so he could leave in a fighter jet. Because, ya know, they totes let you borrow those things. Also, weddings are absolutely competitions like in the tv shows so there isn't a single thing wrong with making such rude comments!!!! Ugh. Moron.

LadyMillil

CowgirlK39 said:

I am a total lurker but I thought I'd chime in. We didn't have anyone say anything rude to us about the wedding, but one couple we are friends with let their jealousy become painfully evident. The guy made a comment to us about how our wedding will be "tough to beat." He proposed to his Gf a few weeks after our wedding, and I happily met up with them to congratulate them. The guy shoved his FIs ring in my face, bragged about the quality, and then began telling me all the ridiculous ways he planned to "beat" our wedding. We had left the reception in a fire truck because my DH is a very dedicated fireman, so our friend began saying he wanted to join the Air Force reserve so he could leave in a fighter jet. Because, ya know, they totes let you borrow those things. Also, weddings are absolutely competitions like in the tv shows so there isn't a single thing wrong with making such rude comments!!!! Ugh. Moron.

SITB

Bridezilla sister totally believes this. At the end of my wedding I was married to DH, happy and my guests were well hosted. I win! Her wedding loses because I didn't get married that day. But my wedding loses for her because she didn't get married that day, but she wins on her wedding day. Who cares which ring is bigger/has more stones, who invited more people, who had more expensive flowers, a "better" meal, etc etc etc if you're happy and you hosted your guests well?