Toronto destination wedding?

carrielovesroxy

My mom is making me feel super guilty for having a destination wedding. She's convinced that no one is going to come, that it'll cost too much for them, etc. I'm not even 100% sure that it is a destination wedding. My fiance and I really don't have roots planted anywhere. My parents live in Ohio, a good chunk of our friends live in Savannah, I have family in NYC and Long Island, other guests scattered throughout the country, and my fiance and I just moved to upstate New York from Georgia. We are a same sex couple and are getting married in Toronto, a decision we made before it was legal here. We fell in love with the city and decided that would be it. It's a couple hours away, easily driveable, so we're up there regularly doing all the planning. My issue is, as a same sex couple, having a wedding in Georgia is kind of risky, and I really don't want drama or intolerance around our wedding or in the planning. If we did upstate New York, all of our guests would be traveling anyway. If we did NYC, the wedding we are having would cost at least twice as much, and most of our guests would still have to travel. 

Based on what I described, am I even having a destination wedding? My mom keeps saying it is but I never thought of it that way, because in any of the circumstances, most of the guests would be traveling, unless we had the wedding in Savannah, which would be super inconvenient for us, and also not the most tolerant place towards same sex couples. 

And how should I approach my mom when she throws the guilt trip on me? It makes me really uncomfortable and I've tried explaining it to her logically. 

I hope this post makes sense! I've tried looking the answers up myself but usually end up with webpages trying to help me plan a destination wedding! Thanks for the feedback! 

alpacalunch

I think it counts. If you don't have ties to the place (familial, etc) then I think that helps define it. For your guests it's a destination and for you two as well. Be prepared for a higher decline rate than average, as it is that much more work for your guests.

That being said, Toronto is fantastically inclusive for same-sex couples. Having grown up there, there was never much prejudice I witnessed, and it wasn't until I was a teenager that I encountered bias towards a same sex relationship. I think you will have a wonderful time, and a beautiful ceremony

PS: It's World Pride in Toronto this year! So if you're thinking sooner rather than later, you may be able to enjoy that aspect too!

Latillo

I think it would still be considered a destination wedding if your or any guests are traveling, but with that said...who cares?? It's your wedding and you and your fiance should get married wherever you choose. I dealt with a little guilt from my mom as well even though I had been planning on being married in Mexico for years before we were even engaged. She was upset we changed the location from Cabo to Playa del carmen because Cabo is more americanized, she said she didn't feel safe in Playa del carmen. Oh well! Not to be rude but I am paying for my own wedding and I let her know she will be more than safe at a 4 star resort haha.

I think Toronto sounds wonderful! Like chrisandcait said you should expect less people to come because they have to travel but all of the important people in your lives will be there (guilt trip or not) and that's all that matters! happy planning and congrats on your engagement!