Evil confessions

larrygaga

My favorite part about working at McDonald's for 5 years while I was in school was telling people breakfast was over, and no they can't be the exception. I loved seeing the disappointment and anger when they missed breakfast by 5 minutes. I never even pretended like I felt bad for them. I didn't even try. 

You guys got any good ones?

JennyColada

Ahahaha. Love it!

I'm a retail manager, and do get a certain sense of joy over "no ma'am, we cannot give you cash back for this worn item that you no longer have the receipt for and which we haven't carried in our stores for a year."

pinkshorts27

I got evil satisfaction from telling a student his homework was turned in too late to get credit and that no, he was not an exception. The rules were explained twice in class to these students, on the syllabus and sent in email after an issue with homework 1. Do I feel bad? No.

Cookie Pusher

I was a cosmetics manager at a department store in a large mall. Whenever I got stuck working a late shift, people coming from happy hour at the restaurant on the other end of the mall would come in looking to get their makeup done. Since we didn't charge or demand a minimum product purchase for the service, I would reward these idiots for wasting my time by doing the most hideous makeup possible. (These were repeat offenders so I knew they'd never buy anything OR would return whatever they bought once they sobered up.) I never felt bad sending these jokers out of the store looking like clowns.

thisismynickname2

I work in an environment where a) the buck stops with me and b) I have access to tell-all electronic records. No liars get past me.  I LOVE sending letters that refute complainants' claims, and never hearing back from them. I sure showed YOU! 

But seriously @larrygaga, it's the worst feeling to miss fast food breakfast by five minutes. The worst. I've never argued with an employee but boy.... and sometimes it's because I couldn't remember if breakfast ends at 10:30 or 11.  

Couggal12

I used to work in a bank and I would tell customers who would call right when we closed I couldn't stay open for them even if they were on the way.  I would lie and say our security system goes off at X time automatically and I can't be in here.

ElcaB

When I was a server & had douchey tables, I made sure to always charge extra for sides of ranch, blue cheese, etc. 

It's something we were supposed to do, but never did for the tables that were nice. 

DaisyMaeMommy

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

abbyj700

This is terrible, but I'll admit it.

There's a girl who hangs out at the bar we go to. She's known my FI since they were young. When I first started dating FI (actually about the whole first year we started dating) she would always ignore my existence, paw at him, openly flirt with him, ask for my name thirty million times when FI would point me out, etc. I always felt terrible around her and very intimidated. 

This weekend she said something to him about "so and so got their STD for your wedding. I haven't seen mine yet." He told her politely that she wasn't on the guest list."

I will admit I got a little glimmer of "OMG is she serious?" and a little glimmer of "yeah, that's right bitch, he's mine, and yeah our wedding is going to be awesome - you SHOULD wish you were invited."

KatWAG

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

I can completely relate to how annoying it is when people park like asshats. Either on the line or when they park sideways taking up 2 spots. But I think damaging their personal property is a bit extreme.

I always gigle when I see women wear 4-5 inch heels that they cant walk in, especially when its a Saturday night and they are trying to look sexy. Practice at home first or wear something else.

larrygaga

thisismynickname said:

I work in an environment where a) the buck stops with me and b) I have access to tell-all electronic records. No liars get past me.  I LOVE sending letters that refute complainants' claims, and never hearing back from them. I sure showed YOU! 

But seriously @larrygaga, it's the worst feeling to miss fast food breakfast by five minutes. The worst. I've never argued with an employee but boy.... and sometimes it's because I couldn't remember if breakfast ends at 10:30 or 11.  

I know. And I was treated so terribly by entitled customers that I wanted them to be hurt by it. That's why it's an evil confession. 

larrygaga

KatWAG said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

I can completely relate to how annoying it is when people park like asshats. Either on the line or when they park sideways taking up 2 spots. But I think damaging their personal property is a bit extreme.

I always gigle when I see women wear 4-5 inch heels that they cant walk in, especially when its a Saturday night and they are trying to look sexy. Practice at home first or wear something else.

I like seeing women who wear heels or ugg boots get their feet wet and slip in the snow and ice.

Snow and ice isn't new to where I live. It's not a surprise. Wear real boots or look like a fool. Normal women wear boots and change their shoes when they get inside. 

I especially hate ugg boots. There is no excuse for those. 

wandajune6

I manage a system that helps doctors get paid. If they don't do their paperwork, they don't get paid. I waste spend endless time nagging them to get it done. I get joy when they come yelling to me about not getting their checks. I've even been known to show text and email trails to their managers....

Also, since we're sharing... my last bf told me that I was less of a person than he was because I had student loan debt and he had a lot of family money. I dumped him ASAP. I since heard that his next girlfriend cleaned him out. Asshole.

larrygaga

wandajune6 said:

I manage a system that helps doctors get paid. If they don't do their paperwork, they don't get paid. I waste spend endless time nagging them to get it done. I get joy when they come yelling to me about not getting their checks. I've even been known to show text and email trails to their managers....

Also, since we're sharing... my last bf told me that I was less of a person than he was because I had student loan debt and he had a lot of family money. I dumped him ASAP. I since heard that his next girlfriend cleaned him out. Asshole.

I have a story that kind of relates to that. This gross guy twice my age was trying to get me to date him to the point of near-stalking. He told me that because I chose to be a social worker I should just work until I find a man to be a trophy wife to. I enjoyed breaking his heart.

I sound so mean for a social worker. I'm really not that mean. lol!

emmyg65

When I worked at Blockbuster in high school, I LOVED collecting late fees. I was like a late fee Nazi. No one rented movies from me without paying their dues.

Sometimes, when I see someone drive like an asshole, I hope their poor driving gets them in an accident. Just a minor one, of course.

doeydo

larrygaga said:

KatWAG said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

I can completely relate to how annoying it is when people park like asshats. Either on the line or when they park sideways taking up 2 spots. But I think damaging their personal property is a bit extreme.

I always gigle when I see women wear 4-5 inch heels that they cant walk in, especially when its a Saturday night and they are trying to look sexy. Practice at home first or wear something else.

I like seeing women who wear heels or ugg boots get their feet wet and slip in the snow and ice.

Snow and ice isn't new to where I live. It's not a surprise. Wear real boots or look like a fool. Normal women wear boots and change their shoes when they get inside. 

I especially hate ugg boots. There is no excuse for those. 

This.  Also, I get a certain kind of enjoyment when I see women in little skirts or shorts or something and it is freezing outside.  They always walk around like they are so cold and I'm just like "Yeah, we're in Canada bitch.  There's snow on the ground, for goodness' sake". 

beharrington

emmyg65 said:

When I worked at Blockbuster in high school, I LOVED collecting late fees. I was like a late fee Nazi. No one rented movies from me without paying their dues.

Stuck in Box:

Ahhh - Blockbuster.  The job that made me decide that I did indeed want to go to college.  I was also a late fee nazi.  My boss, on the other hand, was a pushover.

sassyfrass2014

Evil Confession: I love subtly flashing my ring to girls hitting on my FI. He's often in situations where this can happen, but he hardly notices when it. I don't even get jealous, I just love watching their faces when I come up behind him, wrap my left arm around his chest, and give them a big smile. OH YES. HE'S MINE. BYE. 

jdluvr06

I get a little bit of secret satisfaction when people are giving the receptionist at work a hard time. She is a piece of work and is a huge PITA. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've seen my co-workers smirk when someone is being difficult with her.

ElcaB

Evil confession: 

I usually follow the "if you don't have anything nice to say" rule when it comes to FB. My evil confession is the glee and vindication I feel when someone else writes a snarky comment on posts I side-eye but am too polite to comment on. 

Real life example #1: Someone posted a photo of them "mid abs workout" in mountain-climber position. The camera angle is aimed toward her sports bra cleavage (she cut off her face!) and someone wrote, "You're posting photos of your cleavage? Really?" Well played, commenter. 

Real life example #2: My friend posted a glamour selfie of her and her friend. Both of them are wearing strapless dresses, which you can't see (so they look naked) and making "sexy" faces. The whole thing is posed like a bad lesbian calendar, really. Someone wrote, "Why are you pretending to be naked?" That person is my favorite. 

beharrington

Evil Confession:  MIL has not yet (one year later) apologized for all of the crap she pulled around our wedding.  I am okay with not having her in my life.  It makes holiday planning much easier.

wandajune6

shrekspeare said:

Another 'evil' confession: I would totally marry someone for their money. No questions asked. 

FI tells me that he's marrying me for my money. I tell him that I'm marrying him for his ass. We think we're hysterical.

Swazzle

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

Wow, this is pretty shitty. 

jdluvr06

Another confession: I love it when people you try to correct about something but the insist that they are right and you have no idea what you're talking about are proven wrong. Haha serves you right for being so dumb.

beachyone15

My confession? My FMIL showed me the white dress she wants to wear to our wedding. She usually has great taste, but this thing is God-awful. I told her to rock it!

KatWAG

shrekspeare said:

I hate fried chicken. In my family, that's pretty bad. The smell makes me gag.

Also, this seems like a SanctiMommy thing. Do you ask people in the grocery store to be quite around your sleeping baby as well? Not cool.

Swazzle said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

Wow, this is pretty shitty. 

THIS. nothing is more annoying than a sancti- mommy. The world doesn't stop moving because you choose to bring your special snowflake out in public.

edit; spelling

DaisyMaeMommy

shrekspeare said:

I hate fried chicken. In my family, that's pretty bad. The smell makes me gag.

Also, this seems like a SanctiMommy thing. Do you ask people in the grocery store to be quite around your sleeping baby as well? Not cool.

Swazzle said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

Wow, this is pretty shitty. 

No
Nope, has nothing to do with my kids. I just don't appreciate people parking like they're stupid.

[Deleted User]

ElcaB said:

Evil confession: 

I usually follow the "if you don't have anything nice to say" rule when it comes to FB. My evil confession is the glee and vindication I feel when someone else writes a snarky comment on posts I side-eye but am too polite to comment on. 

Real life example #1: Someone posted a photo of them "mid abs workout" in mountain-climber position. The camera angle is aimed toward her sports bra cleavage (she cut off her face!) and someone wrote, "You're posting photos of your cleavage? Really?" Well played, commenter. 

Real life example #2: My friend posted a glamour selfie of her and her friend. Both of them are wearing strapless dresses, which you can't see (so they look naked) and making "sexy" faces. The whole thing is posed like a bad lesbian calendar, really. Someone wrote, "Why are you pretending to be naked?" That person is my favorite. 

It annoys me when anyone posts gym photos, cleavage or not. I have never posted this because I follow the same rule as you, but I always want to say something along the lines of "perhaps if you spent more time working out than taking selfies, you wouldn't need the proof." If you MUST post a gym selfie, do it post workout when you're all sweaty.

Then again, I'm annoyed with most selfies.

KatWAG

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I hate fried chicken. In my family, that's pretty bad. The smell makes me gag.

Also, this seems like a SanctiMommy thing. Do you ask people in the grocery store to be quite around your sleeping baby as well? Not cool.

Swazzle said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

Wow, this is pretty shitty. 

No Nope, has nothing to do with my kids. I just don't appreciate people parking like they're stupid.

Well, I hate when people stand super close to me on the train.  But I dont hit them if they are in my personal space. Sometime it cant be helped. My SUV doesnt always fit perfectly in tiny parking spots, no matter how careful I am.

And what kind of lesson are you teaching your kids when you do this?

climbingsingle

There's a girl I used to be friends with. She just got caught doing something really shitty to a mutual friend of ours and she's about to get called the fuck out! She swore up and down she didn't do it and our mutual friend now has written (email) proof that she did it. I can't wait to see this bitch go down! 

DaisyMaeMommy

KatWAG said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I hate fried chicken. In my family, that's pretty bad. The smell makes me gag.

Also, this seems like a SanctiMommy thing. Do you ask people in the grocery store to be quite around your sleeping baby as well? Not cool.

Swazzle said:

DaisyMaeMommy said:

I really enjoy it when idiots with tiny cars park extremely close to my Yukon... I have a toddler and an 8-month old baby who are both in 5-pint harness car seats. It's a pain getting them out when someone is parked so close that I can't open my door!

I have full-coverage insurance... I throw open my door and hit their car! You're just asking to be hit if you park that close to me, and I don't even care.

Wow, this is pretty shitty. 

No Nope, has nothing to do with my kids. I just don't appreciate people parking like they're stupid.

Well, I hate when people stand super close to me on the train.  But I dont hit them if they are in my personal space. Sometime it cant be helped. My SUV doesnt always fit perfectly in tiny parking spots, no matter how careful I am.

And what kind of lesson are you teaching your kids when you do this?

Alright, let's get something straight. I obviously don't ACTUALLY hit people's cars. That would require damaging my own car, which I pay WAY too much for and I don't want that bill.

That's not the point. I drive an extremely large SUV, and parking is difficult in that thing! But I would never park so close to someone else that they couldn't open their doors. I have had someone park so close to my driver side door that I could not get in. THAT'S what I'm talking about.