Wedding Etiquette Forum

What are your etiquette deal breakers?

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Re: What are your etiquette deal breakers?

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    And newbie... Really? Unless you're a wedding planner... No one should be called a newbie it's always a NEW experience...
    Newbie = new to the board.  It's not a difficult concept.



    PrettyGirlLostHisGirlFriday13
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @viczaesar Dude read my posts again... I never disagreed with those things... I think mainly the one thing I disagree with is expecting to invite people you don't know... It's like a slaughter house for disagreeing... Yeah I do appreciate etiquette... But I CAN disagree... I have that right... Just as many have posted their nasty comments about weddings they've gone to... I can post my non-hasty comments, that's what a DISCUSSION BOARD is for... @lday2014 Thanks for the suggestion... But again I have a right to disagree and make for some discussion... Yikes
    1.  It would be easier to read your posts if you did not abuse the period.  You are not posting complete thoughts. 
    2.  You physically can disagree, and I physically can tell you that you're wrong.  If you keep posting asinine comments like "does it matter?" then you're going to get a lot of people disagreeing with you and telling you that yes, how you treat your guests DOES matter.



    TheDeathLlama
  • Question- what does PPD mean?

    I only have one opinion about any of these things. Where I grew up dollar dances were basically tradition. So I've been to many weddings with dollar dances. They were always for couples that were young, still in college, broke, etc and it was really just so they had a little extra spending money on their honeymoon. Also all of the weddings that had dollar dances also were dry weddings. That was perhaps more annoying than the dollar dance to me. I'm personally not having one, because I'm not young or broke and I don't feel the need to ask for any extra spending money but I don't find anything wrong with them. And I am absolutely having alcohol (no cash bar, I also agree that's tacky) and my family members that don't drink can get over it. Basically my opinion is, if a couple can afford to have a lavish, expensive ceremony and reception, then they don't need to have a dollar dance, but if the reception is humble, small, and not overdoing it then they can have a dollar dance if they want to. 
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @pinkshorts27 and @prettygirllost You both must've have the most etiquette correct weddings planned... I never said I didn't have any of those things for my wedding... I budgeted for everything... But I did it because it's what I WANTED not what the guests should want... I just don't think other people should be bashed for not being able to do the etiquette correct thing to do... If you live to please the world you will die doing just that... What should I tell people who can't check off things in their etiquette rule book ... Don't get married?
    Don't invite guests, that's what you tell them.



    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]Lynnzehachibiyui
  • AMEN!!!! If my guests feel so entitled to make my wedding celebration about them, then please feel free to leave, I wouldn't want them there anyway. 
    cmb08
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    AMEN!!!! If my guests feel so entitled to make my wedding celebration about them, then please feel free to leave, I wouldn't want them there anyway. 
    Yeah, I mean, isn't it really rude of people to expect to be properly hosted at an event? It's a lot easier for me to focus on celebrating the couple getting married when I'm hungry, bored, uncomfortable from standing, and bummed out because I can't even afford a soda because I left my cash at home.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    PrettyGirlLostHisGirlFriday13FiancB
  • I have read most of the posts on this thread and feel like everyone so appalled by the wedding "missteps" are doing couples a favor by RSVPing "no" Weddings are a celebration of love and the focus should be on the union taking place than whether everything met certain standards. Yes being hungry at a wedding is annoying but it's not the end of the world not should it be the marker of relationships going forward. So many things could have happened. And this need to bring your SO everywhere....please, there is probably good reason they were not invited.
    graycphil413tammyhopstheyllcallmemrs
  • @viczaesar

    You can stop because you are going a tad to far....
  • Stand in the aisle and all over the venue during the wedding and as the bride walks down the aisle.
    pinkshorts27fanniepak00723
  • The dollar dance is a tradition practiced a few different ways in several different cultures. It has several different meanings but often represents good luck and good fortune to the couple. You are not required to participate just because it takes place. I think the fact that you would leave a reception just because someone continued this tradition shows your ignorance of culture and tradition.
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Stand in the aisle and all over the venue during the wedding and as the bride walks down the aisle.
    TabithaLSingleton  this pisses me off too. I actually asked someone at the last wedding to get out of the aisle. She crawled over me to get in the aisle to get a picture. smh. 



    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • There shouldn't be a need for a dress code, but some people need one! My biggest pet peeve, when a guest wears a white dress! The bride and the flower girl are the only ones that should be wearing a white dress! It is so tacky and rude!! And jeans at a wedding are completely unacceptable!
  • Some of these people are terrible and I'm happy none of their judgmental faces will be looking at me while I walk down the aisle. And for everyone saying the reception is about the guests, I have news for you, no, it's not. Nothing on their wedding day is EVER about you. The reception is a celebration of the ceremony and wedding that just took place. Not to pay you back for gracing the couple with your presence at their wedding. No one is forcing you to attend, and it's very likely that the couple is spending more than your crappy attitude is worth for you to be there. 

    This makes me so happy I'm having a small intimate wedding and reception and I don't know any rude people like these, and even if I did none of them would be invited.
    cmb08Lynnzehatheyllcallmemrs
  • Wait a minute...
    Are you all saying that you would refuse to attend your friends' wedding if they had things like a dollar dance, a dress code, or a pot-luck?
    I understand not attending if your spouse is not invited. But I don't understand much of the rest. It is not your day, it is theirs. Maybe they can't afford to feed all of the people that they would like to have at the wedding. Maybe they don't know that some of these things can come off as tacky! You're just going to refuse to attend and celebrate their special day?
    I'm planning my wedding right now and I know that I am breaking a lot of etiquette rules... but if the people that I consider friends are seriously not going to come because they don't love all of my decisions... well, then maybe they're not my real friends. 
    You may not agree with their choices, but put yourself aside. I am not meaning to offend anyone, but I felt quite disheartened reading this. I didn't know people could be so snarky about someone else's wedding.
    graycphil413Lynnzeha
  • I have been incredibly disappointed by everything I have read on these
    message boards today. Women should be uplifting and helping each other,
    not making people feel badly about their situations.

    I agree there are general rules of etiquette and having to pay of couple bucks for a drink is really annoying but everyone has their own situation, their own story, and their own reason for their decisions. People who love are care for the couple are there to celebrate their love and that's really all that matters.

    I personally was almost in tears after reading some of the posts on these message boards today. My fiance and I have fought like hell to be together, and unfortunately if we want to spend the rest of our lives on the same continent, have to be legally married in a time frame that our family will not be able to fly in from all over the world to attend. (We're on the east coast. My family is in California and his is in Ireland) It sucks, we hate it but it is what is and it is what we have to do.

    That being said, in no way do we want to give up the once in a lifetime chance to make our commitment to each other in front of our families. Although we will already be married, when we say our vows in front of our friends and family, it will mean every bit as much (if not more because everyone is there) as when we do it the first time.

    I had never heard of a PPD before today and like I said was in tears thinking I would never have that moment of walking down the aisle and saying my vows to my husband in front of our loved ones. I am not doing this for gifts (In fact, I have my mother's crystal and china, and really don't want any), it really is about sharing own wedding with our loved ones.

    I discussed this with both my best friend and my sister in law today who told me I was being ridiculous and anyone who deserved to be at our wedding would want to be there whether they knew we were married or not. In fact, everyone who is going to be invited to our wedding is just so happy for us to finally start our lives together they really wouldn't care what we did they just want to celebrate with us.

    My best friend also told me that I am actually a "pretty princess" (I ran the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon dressed as Belle this year). So I don't really give a damn what anyone says, I'm going to embrace my pretty princess day, because after what my fiance and I have been through, we do in fact deserve it. Anyone who doesn't like it, I don't really want to come anyway.

    So my point is, before bashing anyone's dreams on an anonymous wedding board, please remember that you don't know them or their stories but their friends and family do and are likely to feel far differently.

    And brides, please don't chance your weddings based on what you've read here! Talk it over with your fiance and family, and I'm sure you'll find a reasonable perspective.

    Come on, we're grown ups getting married, not 10th graders. Let's support each other, not make others feel badly :-)

    Good for you! I haven't ever seen anything about a PPD day anywhere besides the knot. I think it's a horrible and belittling thing to call someone's event. Some poster may feel like it's less meaningful without the legal side but it will be meaningful to you and your family and guests. If I were invited I would celebrate with you while heartedly as expect most of your guests will to.

    LynnzehakarimicheleLizbethAnneCgraycphil413
  • My biggest pet peeve is poor timing. Big gaps are the most itritating thing to guests, especially when they have to travel!
    Not inviting serious significant others can be viewed as offensive, but I've been to weddings without my fiancée because my family as a whole was invited and the couple getting married had invited plenty of people that we all knew.I think I would only be offended if I got an invitation without him if it was to a friend's wedding where I knew no one.
    Dollar dances and outright telling people that they need to offer cash on the day of is tacky, but some people have that as part of their local traditions and they're entitled to it. You don't like it? Don't do it.
    However. Even more irritating is when people think its ok to leave a wedding or complain when an open bar is not available. Do you really need to be drunk to enjoy the celebration of the biggest day in this person's life? (Someone with whom you obviously claim to be close). The day is supposed to be about the couple. If they're not big on alcohol, but are willing to even offer a champagne/sparking cider toast or go to the length of paying for the bar tender so you have the option of a cash bar, be grateful they they're even allowing that.
    I could see getting upset over having to pay for basic drinks like soda, but who gives a rat's patoot about the alcohol?
    dwhereicome
  • There is a huge difference between belittling someone and "blowing smoke and unicorns up their asses" I believe the word term is "constructive criticism" It is in fact possible to give feedback and be sensitive at the same time.

    cmb08Adprice85theyllcallmemrsdwhereicome
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    BeJuled1 said:
    Gross, newly engaged people having opinions! How dare they!
    Nope. Mostly just rude people who aren't listening.
    I agree with BeJuled1.  It does most certainly appear to be that most newly engaged people on these boards are indeed gross in their manners,  mindset and opinions.  Thanks for pointing it out!
    PrettyGirlLostbeharrington
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