Wedding Etiquette Forum

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  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm going to have to agree with everyone else here.  Dry wedding, fine.  Asking people to take a dry vacation and be on the verge of tears if I have a couple of glasses of wine?  I would have to pass.  Ain't no way I'm spending a "few days" at a place with such controlling rules (because I'm sure there are others, if you're this wound up about alcohol) with 12-20 other people.  I would go mad.

    Anyways, I guess to answer your question, the best you can do is not provide any alcohol, and spread by word of mouth that you expect none to be brought.  And please do not ask your guests to "supplement snacks".
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    Go with Dunking Donuts and put a hot cup over the cold cup and you'd be even more set.
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  • Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
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    What? I'm just drinking my black coffee. Mmmmm coffee.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    ashleyep said:
    Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
    The bolded probably won't work if the OP's FI wants a dry reception because he's a recovering alcoholic.  He won't agree to beer and wine any more than liquor.
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Jen4948 said:
    ashleyep said:
    Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
    The bolded probably won't work if the OP's FI wants a dry reception because he's a recovering alcoholic.  He won't agree to beer and wine any more than liquor.
    Wait, he is? I missed that entirely. I thought it was that the two of them just don't like to drink and she evidently can't hang with even social sippin'.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    ashleyep said:
    Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
    The bolded probably won't work if the OP's FI wants a dry reception because he's a recovering alcoholic.  He won't agree to beer and wine any more than liquor.
    Wait, he is? I missed that entirely. I thought it was that the two of them just don't like to drink and she evidently can't hang with even social sippin'.
    Sorry, I got him confused with someone else.  But it is their prerogative to have a dry wedding reception because no one is entitled to alcohol at someone else's wedding.
  • Dry reception = totally acceptable and fine.

    Dry weekend = you bet your ass I'd sneak things in

    And unless these 20 people know each other well / are really comfortable with each other, I'd bet that most of them wouldn't get embarrassingly piss drunk around each other.  In a group of 20, I wouldn't, unless it's my closest friends my age. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    PDKH said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    ashleyep said:
    Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
    The bolded probably won't work if the OP's FI wants a dry reception because he's a recovering alcoholic.  He won't agree to beer and wine any more than liquor.
    Wait, he is? I missed that entirely. I thought it was that the two of them just don't like to drink and she evidently can't hang with even social sippin'.
    Sorry, I got him confused with someone else.  But it is their prerogative to have a dry wedding reception because no one is entitled to alcohol at someone else's wedding.
    Of course they should have a dry wedding if they aren't alcohol/people who enjoy alcohol fans. No one said any differently.

    But telling someone they can't drink a glass of wine the rest of the weekend when they've given up time and money to come celebrate with OP is crazy controlling.
    No argument there!
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Jen4948 said:
    PDKH said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    ashleyep said:
    Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
    The bolded probably won't work if the OP's FI wants a dry reception because he's a recovering alcoholic.  He won't agree to beer and wine any more than liquor.
    Wait, he is? I missed that entirely. I thought it was that the two of them just don't like to drink and she evidently can't hang with even social sippin'.
    Sorry, I got him confused with someone else.  But it is their prerogative to have a dry wedding reception because no one is entitled to alcohol at someone else's wedding.
    Of course they should have a dry wedding if they aren't alcohol/people who enjoy alcohol fans. No one said any differently.

    But telling someone they can't drink a glass of wine the rest of the weekend when they've given up time and money to come celebrate with OP is crazy controlling.
    No argument there!
    Phew, I'm just glad my reading comprehension is still working. 

    Re: dry receptions, I've gotten into philosophical debates with my friends about this and I'm tired. I'm all, "Of course it's allowed to have a dry reception as long as you provide food and beverages appropriate to the time of day," and they're all, "But BOOOOZE!" and I'm all, "Obviously it would be more fun with booze, but seriously, it's allowed." 
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  • edited July 2014
  • Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    ashleyep said:
    Maybe make a compromise and request that guests don't bring liquor - but allow beer and wine. Or limit it until after the reception.

    Telling a bunch of grown adults they can't drink for 4 days seems a bit ridiculous to me.
    The bolded probably won't work if the OP's FI wants a dry reception because he's a recovering alcoholic.  He won't agree to beer and wine any more than liquor.
    Wait, he is? I missed that entirely. I thought it was that the two of them just don't like to drink and she evidently can't hang with even social sippin'.
    Sorry, I got him confused with someone else.  But it is their prerogative to have a dry wedding reception because no one is entitled to alcohol at someone else's wedding.
    Of course they are. But we're talking about the entire weekend. Sure you're not in the wrong if you tell your guests you don't want alcohol in the house that you're paying for, but it's kind of ridiculous. When I say "limit it" I meant don't allow alcohol in the house until after the reception.
    Anniversary
  • edited July 2014
  • abl13abl13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Once in college my boyfriend and I went on a weekend trip to his friend's cabin on a lake. Her parents were there also and they don't approve of premarital sex, so I ended up spending the weekend sharing a double bed with a girl I didn't know. It was NOT fun. It was nice of them to host us, but had I known that was going to happen, I would not have gone. Most likely once your guests hear of your desires they will choose to go to the wedding only and skip the boring 4 day vaca.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2014
    If you seriously have to sit at your computer and be rude to other people for fun, maybe you need to grow up. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Neither does my fiance. Most of you failed to even address my question and just went on a rant about how much you think I'm wrong. If they don't want to come, they don't have to.


    **** STUCK IN THE BOX

    In general if you are having a tough time coming up with something it's because is't not something that can be politely done.


    With so few people just spread it via word of mouth.  Just let your FI know to tell his family that the wedding is a 4 day event  and they are not allowed to drink during that time.    If they complain simply say they are free to find their own accomendations. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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