Lamb and Duck for the Reception Dinner?

lyndausvi

MesmrEwe said:

lyndausvi said:

ElizabethAdeline91 said:

 

Bottom line is you asked what we thought and we told you.  You can now take that information and do what you want with it.   

 Your own FI is a little nervous with the idea knowing his own family.  No sure why you want to risk the chance of having 2 non-mainstream meals when there is a possibility that there will be guests who will not be that adventurous?

My own DH is a fine dining chef.   A lot of our guests were also fine dining chefs, sommeliers, F&B people .  These guys have worked with the best of the best and they themselves been featured in magazines and on TV.  Based on experience at our wedding we had more of a mainstream entree.  We had the fun adventurous stuff for the cocktail hour.  

It was a nice balance with something for everyone.  No one had to settle so to speak.  6 years later we are still approached about our food choices.  I fell like that is a good sign we did things right.    

GL

One thought along those lines - all of my chef friends - including my TV type friends - "Nothing succeeds more than the simple done well!".  Doesn't matter the item, a true foodie is focused on doing homage to the beast or plant who gave its all and is prepared to perfection.  And how true - DH & I went to a banquet dinner at a restaurant - the steak was so well seasoned and prepared that there wasn't the need to pick up the salt shaker.  That's success!

Yep.   

So many people think it's means they are adventurous in a snobby sort of way (not directed to you OP).  Yeah, that's not it at all. 

 Just the other day DH made a southwestern kobe beef meatloaf.  Yes, meatloaf.  The true foodies of the club embraces the meatloaf.  They appreciated someone making something so common into the best thing they have ever eaten.  The trendy foodies didn't even order it because it's too homey and common.  No they had to prove they are foodies by ordering something more adventurous then meatloaf.

themosthappy91

Thank you all so much for your input on this, I think this settles it in favor of duck, beef, and veggie option!  I've discovered through this whole planning process how limited we can be in our own personal worldview (like how I never would have even considered duck to be an "adventurous food")... these kind of assumptions, while in no way malicious, can have a big negative impact on how people perceive us or our thoughtfulness for others, so it was great to be able to get so many different perspectives on this topic and take in a broader picture of how different people like to eat!

lyndausvi

I think your options are great.     I would add lamb to one of your apps. That way you can still get it in there.  :-)

Remember  you can never go wrong being a good host.   It comes back to you ten fold.

southernbelle0915

@lyndausvi - I am drooling at the sound of that meatloaf. YUM!!

lyndausvi

southernbelle0915 said:

@lyndausvi - I am drooling at the sound of that meatloaf. YUM!!

 Instead of breadcrumbs or stuffing he used crushed tortilla chips.  The onions and other spices were mixed up in the blender until they were all smooth.  He made his own BBQ sauce and mixed it in and also added it to the top during the last minutes of cooking so it became a glaze.  

It was pretty damn good.  

tammym1001

I'm glad that you decided duck, beef, and vegetarian. I like the idea of adding lamb to your apps. I actually like duck and lamb, but their taste is too rich for me to eat them as a meal. I order them as apps at restaurants and enjoy them and then I get my steak for dinner.

OliveOilsMom

Since you are doing heavy apps, why not lamb lolipops?  I'm glad that you have decided to have one "common" meat during dinner.  I would reluctantly get duck since I hate lamb, and hope that I liked it.  Not sure what H would have chosen as I don't think he likes either.

themosthappy91

Sorry ladies, about to throw a huge wrench in the works- had dinner with FI's family tonight and discussed this issue, and somehow (after much back and forth and different suggestions from all parties involved)- they fell in love with the idea of duck, salmon, and veal/beef (there was some disagreement between FMIL and FFIL which would be preferable with that line-up).  Somehow salmon and veal got added to the mix (FMIL insists there should be a fish option, FI and I happened to think of veal) and everyone really wanted to expand it to four options rather than three.  OMG I need to just learn to stop soliciting input... but might as well ask you all anyway!  Which option would you go with:

1. Duck or Salmon or Beef or Veggie

2. Duck or Salmon or Veal or Veggie

3. Duck or Salmon or Lamb or Veggie

The crux of the issue I guess is- is veal considered another adventurous food, or could it safely be subbed for beef?  Is salmon "mainstream" enough that it could be considered a "safe" food among our initial idea of duck and lamb?  At this point I really have no preference and would be happy with any of these options.

lyndausvi

option 1

Alikat9614

1. I'd still stick with beef

mysticl

Option 1.  Some people just aren't fish eaters (I'd personally be all for the salmon) and some people have moral objections to veal.  

JennyColada

What if someone doesn't want red meat? Are they stuck with pasta?

Maggie0829

scribe95 said:

To be honest this is kind of ridiculous at this point. Beef and chicken are attractive to a majority of guests but for some reason you and the in-laws are resisting it. I hate fish of all kinds and would not eat duck or lamb. Veal is also a no way for me. 

Yes, these are all adventurous foods - not mainstream. It almost seems like you or inlaws want to show off with these choices? But to me it just means a lot of people won't have anything to eat.

This.

I prefer what others have said and to have the "adventurous" choices during cocktail hour and have more mainstream choices for dinner.  That way if people don't like or won't eat duck, lamb, veal, or whatever then they will at least have a full entree to enjoy once cocktail hour is over with.

I am with Scribe and I am really not understanding your resistance to more mainstream choices.  If you really want to have an adventurous entree option then just have one.  Pick duck or lamb or veal and then supplement the other choices with more mainstream options such as beef, chicken and then a veggie option.

I just think that if you decide to go the "adventurous" route you are going to have some unhappy and hungry guests on your hands.

But if you do go the direction that you want then please make sure you have a full cocktail hour with more mainstream options so that those who aren't thrilled with their dinner choice will at least be able to eat something.

Finally, it is not a bad thing if people are picky eaters (some people really just don't like a wide variety of food) and I personally believe that if you are hosting guests then you need to pick food that is pretty much liked by all so that those picky eaters feel welcomed rather then singled out.

southernbelle0915

JennyColada said:

What if someone doesn't want red meat? Are they stuck with pasta?

There would be 3 other options - duck, salmon or vegetarian.

OP - My vote goes to Option 1. I don't think you'll get many fish-takers, but if everyone is cool with providing the option...great.

Kahlyla

Option 1. I don't see salmon as adventurous at all, but then again I live in the Maritimes. I definitely don't think a fish choice is unusual for weddings, so even if some people don't prefer it, I don't think they'd be surprised or offended to see that it's offered. I love it, so now if I attended your wedding I'd be torn between the duck and the salmon!

Beef is a very safe choice, imo, and the veggie option is as well. Lamb makes a perfect appetizer food, so you can absolutely include it there.

I would steer clear of veal for a large crowd, as some people may be offended that it is even offered, and they definitely wouldn't consider it just another version of beef. I honestly think your option 1 is a very, very good and reasonable balance.

JaxInBlue

I think Option 1 is a good compromise.  DH and I do not eat duck (personal preference based on the fat & gamey taste), but would be happy with any of the other three.  And I agree with PPs on the app front too - if you absolutely want lamb and veal represented, integrate those selections into some of the cocktail hour options.  That way, people can try or enjoy or both, or can skip whatever they are not comfortable eating.

Just a question though.  Have you talked about your protein choices with your caterer? I'd want to get an honest assessment from that person about the chances that one of the meats would be over- or underdone in the interest of working with three options that all have minimum levels of doneness and also a recommended serving temp.   I might be tempted to take it back down to two proteins and a veggie option - either the duck or the salmon with the beef - and integrate the protein that gets cut into an appetizer option as well.  It's unlikely to be an issue, but I think getting an assessment based on the equipment and staff available is good.

themosthappy91

It sounds like option 1 it is!  I've really enjoyed getting all y'alls perspective on this- to be honest, I feel like I just personally have a very poor grasp on what foods are considered "adventurous".  Picky eating was simply not allowed in my family growing up so I think certain foods that have just always been a part of my life don't register to me as something that many people would raise an eyebrow at!  I guess I'm also one of those weird people who would actually consider eating a vegetarian option (though I'm not a vegetarian) as opposed to one of the meat entrees just because sometimes I like not eating meat... so I've been thinking of that as one of the solid "safe" options and not something that would be a let down to guests.    

Jax- that's a great point, we definitely need to run this be the caterers and get their honest assessment.  

mysticl

ElizabethAdeline91 said:

It sounds like option 1 it is!  I've really enjoyed getting all y'alls perspective on this- to be honest, I feel like I just personally have a very poor grasp on what foods are considered "adventurous".  Picky eating was simply not allowed in my family growing up so I think certain foods that have just always been a part of my life don't register to me as something that many people would raise an eyebrow at!  I guess I'm also one of those weird people who would actually consider eating a vegetarian option (though I'm not a vegetarian) as opposed to one of the meat entrees just because sometimes I like not eating meat... so I've been thinking of that as one of the solid "safe" options and not something that would be a let down to guests.    

Jax- that's a great point, we definitely need to run this be the caterers and get their honest assessment.  

For a lot of people that would depend on what the vegetarian option was. Since you are just listing it as vegetarian others can't really assess if it's "safe".  Is it a pasta and vegetable dish or is it some type of tofu dish?  Obviously those are just two examples out of multiple options but my point is that both are vegetarian but they are very different in terms of their range of appeal.  Plus there are some people that pretty much insist on eating meat.  I have an ex who seriously only ate like 5 things.

JennyColada

southernbelle0915 said:

JennyColada said:

What if someone doesn't want red meat? Are they stuck with pasta?

There would be 3 other options - duck, salmon or vegetarian.

OP - My vote goes to Option 1. I don't think you'll get many fish-takers, but if everyone is cool with providing the option...great.

------
She said above that she's thinking of doing duck/beef/pasta. A lot of people consider duck a red meat since it's often cooked to medium rare and contains no white meat.

I think a lot of this involves knowing your crowd: have a lot of gluten-free? Have a lot of vegetarians? Have a lot of pregnant or elderly?

We are serving a pretty "foodie" menu at our reception...buuuut it's just us and our parents. If we were having more guests (or even if Fi's sister had decided to attend) our menu would be much different!

lyndausvi

ElizabethAdeline91 said:

It sounds like option 1 it is!  I've really enjoyed getting all y'alls perspective on this- to be honest, I feel like I just personally have a very poor grasp on what foods are considered "adventurous".  Picky eating was simply not allowed in my family growing up so I think certain foods that have just always been a part of my life don't register to me as something that many people would raise an eyebrow at!  I guess I'm also one of those weird people who would actually consider eating a vegetarian option (though I'm not a vegetarian) as opposed to one of the meat entrees just because sometimes I like not eating meat... so I've been thinking of that as one of the solid "safe" options and not something that would be a let down to guests.    

Jax- that's a great point, we definitely need to run this be the caterers and get their honest assessment.  

We always had to eat what was in front of our plates.  So in that case we were not allowed to be picky.  

That said, my parents are VERY plain eaters.  They are meat (beef, chicken, pork) and potato people.   So we never ate "adventurous" stuff, since were not exposed to those items.   

 I personally eat lamb, duck and veal, but mostly in the way of apps.  I rarely order them as an entree.   I like them in little bites, but not full meals.  I hate salmon, but like other types of fish. I eat sushi on a regular basis :-)

Viczaesar

I've had both duck and lamb, and I would not eat either of them again (and for the record I'm a dark meat chicken girl, and not very picky in general except for certain vegetables that I don't eat that are unfortunately in just about everything, like onions).  Especially since you know that his side of the family has picky eaters I think you really ought to have one of the primary options be something more mainstream that a larger percentage of your guests will like.  The point of the reception is to thank your guests for coming; reasonably accommodating their tastes should be high on your list of priorities.  I like the idea of offering duck and beef.

Fairyjen1

   I don't like the taste of lamb or the texture of duck. That said, you can serve what you want at your wedding. I'm also not a fan of the default Chicken/beef options everyone says you HAVE to serve at wedding either and I'd be happy you did something different. I just would eat ahead of time and chow down on sides and cake! I wouldn't side eye you at all because you are properly hosting me and it's my problem I'm too picky for lamb or duck. I'd probably put on my RSVP that I was vegetarian (I'm not, I just eat that way 85% of the time) and see what happened. I can actually go a long time with little food so I wouldn't be one of those cranky hungry guests who storm out of weddings early when the foods not to their liking I have heard of. 

   It partly depends on your crowd. Our wedding will only have at most 18 guest and they are mostly immediate family so we have a good idea of how adventurous we could get, if it were a larger guest list it could be trickier as we wouldn't know everyone's preferences. 

  

Simply Fated

Definitely option 1. 

I have no problem trying new food, which is why I already know I don't like lamb, veal or duck. Venison, too, in case anyone was curious lol.

 

HeatherH92

While I think it's great that you two like to venture out in your own food preferences, it's probably better to stay on the safe side at a wedding. Personally, I wouldn't eat either of those options, and I think a lot of people are probably in the same boat as me. I would say choose one of those for one option, and then pick a safer second option, like a chicken dish (I would say steak, but I don't like steak, so that would leave me starving as well. Lol).

JennyColada

Fairyjen1 said:

   It partly depends on your crowd. Our wedding will only have at most 18 guest and they are mostly immediate family so we have a good idea of how adventurous we could get, if it were a larger guest list it could be trickier as we wouldn't know everyone's preferences. 

  

We are the same way! We only have 6 guests and our menu is definitely "out there". If we were having a larger reception then I'd certainly have planned MUCH differently.

[Deleted User]

With most everyone else on here... It depends on the crowd AND how it is cooked. I like lamb for the most part but duck I do not like at all. To me it does not taste like chicken.. it can be gamey, but lamb can also be "greasey." Also don't know if it happens to anyone else but I know a  lot of people for whatever reason lamb effects their stomachs...

Ndelible

I consider myself a fairly adventurous eater.  I love lamb but know that a lot of people do not like it at all.  Duck?  I'll eat it, but not happily.  Same with veal - I'd eat it, but it's not my favorite and it offends many.  Salmon can be cooked well or it can be dry. I go to a lot of "rubber chicken/beef" events and yes, they can be boring, but have recently had some very good dishes.  It's in the flavor and sides. 

It is possible to have a very foodie type event with chicken and/or beef.  Talk to your caterer about the dishes themselves.  Sauces can make a difference (maybe on the side?).

That being said, I'm a fan of pleasing the most people.  Try awesome apps (lamb lollipops with mint chutney are awesome!)

Good luck.

Jen4948

I'd go with number 1 and play it safe. While IMO there's nothing wrong with any of these menus, I do think that you need to recognize that not everyone is "adventurous" when it comes to food and it's not appropriate to force anyone who prefers mainstream food for whatever reason to be otherwise. I'm also a fan of pleasing the most people. You yourself don't have to eat chicken or beef if you don't want to and neither do your ILs. That said, there is nothing wrong with providing them to people who prefer them over lamb and/or duck. (FWIW, I would love either.)

thegroomingrey

I know that this would generally go over well at my wedding (foodie families on both sides, as are friends) but I would still probably only pick one of the two and go with a safer entree.  Pick the one the two of you would be more excited to eat, and go with a safer choice for the other.

Duck and lamb are my two favorite meats so it kills me to say that.  I think duck is more consistent than lamb, though, in terms of cooking.

amelisha

I don't really have any input on what you should choose, but I am also shocked that either of those are considered "adventurous"...I mean, they're on the menu almost everywhere. I have a duck in my freezer right now, even.

I mean, the majority is saying this and obviously that's what you should be listening to, but it seems crazy to me that people don't eat these things. Really?

I suppose it's got to be a regional thing or something, but I live in Prairie Canada, the equivalent of the American Midwest, where men wear cowboy hats in public, so I am kind of flabbergasted that this is the case.