Wedding Etiquette Forum

Should I Just Suck It Up & Attend?

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Re: Should I Just Suck It Up & Attend?

  • Daaaaaang, @Amanda1443994‌. That is really shitty of your "friend." And, no, you won't always have to attend weddings alone. Most people have the decency to invite SO's.
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    Ouch! That is rude. I agree, a good friend would invite your BF! Friends of mine do not plan on getting married ever- their relationship is no less legitimate than mine!
  • So I decided to check with my friend to see if it was just a misunderstanding with her mom. Nope. He's really not invited. She said that her and her fiancée have very large families and it just wasn't in the budget to invite people with guests unless they were married or engaged. Clearly, this is a lie since I have mutual friends who are going with their boyfriends.

    Honestly, it makes me feel really bad and I'm wondering if she doesn't take my relationship seriously because I have been married before. Husband cheated on me and we divorced after 7 years of being together. I don't know if I ever even want to be married again. So if I stay with my current boyfriend for the rest of my life without the paper telling me I'm committed..will I always have to attend weddings alone?? That sounds horrible to me.

    Yikes. That isn't cool. I think you did the right thing by giving your friend the benefit of the doubt but she clearly did the wrong thing by being a crappy friend.

    I'm sorry you are being treated like this, but at least you can now skip both the event and the gift....
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  • I am sorry this is happening to you. I think you are right in your assessment that she does not value the relationship as much as you do. 

    Time to plan your special night out with your boyfriend now.
  • good for standing your ground how rude we made sure that if our guest were in relationships they got a plus one. i would have confronted her and said hmm thats odd because x friend and x friend who i also know told me there bfs were invited but mines not thats kind of strange. it would have put her on the spot and made her look bad for lying 
  • The lack of respect this "friend" is showing for your relationship with your boyfriend is horrible. I say skip the wedding, take the money you would've spent on her gift and go for an awesome evening out with your boyfriend. 
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  • Definitely skip the wedding. 

    I would tell her, "I'm not coming to an event that celebrate's your relationship, because you don't respect mine."
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  • In light of this new information, I think you should decline. She doesn't respect your relationship, but she expects you to respect her's and attend her wedding? That makes her a hypocrite.


    In addition, a disrespectful friend is a terrible friend.


    So if I stay with my current boyfriend for the rest of my life without the paper telling me I'm committed..will I always have to attend weddings alone?? That sounds horrible to me.

    Not always. Some people are more progressive than your so-called friend, so this won't always happen to you.
    Unfortunately, some people do not think your relationship is valid enough. Those same people are assholes.
    You are not alone. I'm in a long term relationship that apparently isn't as valid as others.
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  • I am so sorry she is being disrespectful of your relationship. You are doing the right thing in not going. I think my phonecall would have gone like this: Me: Hey bridefriend. I just wanted to check with you on this as I guess I am a bit confused. Your mom said SO wasn't invited because we weren't married or engaged but I was talking to Jill and Amy and they said their SO's WERE invited. I figured maybe I had some wires crossed here so I just wanted to doublecheck on whether FI is invited.... That is some serious BS there with your friend.
  • I would call the mother up and tell her I was not coming. I'd stop calling my "friend" all together. You already got an invite for October?? I'm guessing B-listing is on the horizon :(
    I don't think that's a fair assumption. I just sent out my invites for my October 12th wedding. We are just about 8 weeks out.
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