My fiancé and I have been engaged for 3 1/2 years now, and now we are finally able to start planning our wedding. (Lots of factors played into the delay, me returning to school was a big one) And now that it's coming down to the details, my parents have agreed to pay for most, if not all of the wedding expenses that parents of the bride usually do, however, every time I start to bring wedding stuff up around my future mother-in-law, she seems uninterested. And it has been that way from the beginning. I'm not sure how to approach the discussion of the rehearsal dinner (which they should be responsible for, after all, my parents are paying for everything else). I know the future in laws are also responsible for my bouquet and the boutonnieres and a few other things, but I already plan on paying for that out of my own pocket to avoid the discussion. I just absolutely refuse to pay for my own rehearsal dinner or ask my parents to pay for another thing. (They already agreed to pay for liquor at the reception, since my fiancé and I don't drink much and said we didn't really care if it was there, but that if it was, whoever wanted it would have to pay for it)
How can I approach the conversation about the rehearsal dinner without upsetting her or getting completely shut down? And also explain that the rehearsal dinner will be in the town my parents live in which is approximately 1 1/2-2 hours away from the town my fiancé, myself and his parents live in, without her trying to talk us into coming all the way back just for a dinner? (Most of us will either be staying at my parents house the night before the wedding, or getting a hotel in town)
Thanks in advance for any advice!!!