Irrational worry: My mom's dress is too dressy

climbingsingle

My wedding starts at 12pm. Now, granted, the venue is pretty fancy. But I am starting to think it's too dressy for a daytime wedding. 

However, we're all going to be dressy. It's not by any means a casual wedding. My dress is pretty damn fancy too. She looks amazing in the dress and she loves it. I was with her when she picked it out. I told her that I wanted her to wear whatever she wanted. I guess my worry is that people will look at her and wonder why she's wearing such a fancy dress in the daytime. That's totally stupid to worry about, I know. I just don't want anyone thinking that about my wonderful mom. We are so, so close and I love her so much. I'm overly protective of her, if that makes any sense. 

Here's the dress, for reference. 

 

Screw it, right? She's going to look so pretty! And who cares what anyone else thinks, right???

cupcait927

That dress is absolutely gorgeous! Your mom will look stunning and screw anyone who side-eyes it. Her daughter is getting married and she can look as fabulous and dressed up as she wants.

holyguacamole79

I had an afternoon wedding, and my brother had an evening wedding.  Our wedding was definitely fancier than his (not trying to say his wasn't good enough; they are just more casual). 

If the rest of your wedding is fancy, then I think your mom will look awesome.

Mom should get on with her fancy self.  Iggy says so.

climbingsingle

sarahbear31 said:

I had an afternoon wedding, and my brother had an evening wedding.  Our wedding was definitely fancier than his (not trying to say his wasn't good enough; they are just more casual). 

If the rest of your wedding is fancy, then I think your mom will look awesome.

Mom should get on with her fancy self.  Iggy says so.

Haha! I love that. 

Maggie0829

I kind of always expect the Mom's to be a bit over dressed at weddings.  I mean typically the bride is almost always over dressed unless they are having a black tie wedding because when else would wearing a big white gown be appropriate?  Debutante ball maybe?

My Mom wore a long gown at both mine and my sister's wedding.  I guess people could think that she was "over dressed" but if a lot of people are like me I would expect the Mom to be in something fabulous rather then just a cocktail dress.

slothiegal

That.  Is.  BEAUTIFUL.  Rock it, Mom!  Screw anyone who side eyes it (although I doubt anyone will--if anyone's staring, it'll be out of jealousy, because she's gonna look drop dead gorgeous).

daria24

Eh, my MIL wore a pretty formal gown and was definitely over dressed, but it wasn't a big deal. It was the dress she liked, she was happy, who cares?

theartistformerlyknownas

Maybe people will assume she's a celebrity and ask for her autograph. She could play it up with some enormous sunglasses.

Inkdancer

If anybody judges your mom for looking too fancy, screw those people.

climbingsingle

You guys are the best. Thank you. I feel much better about this now. 

SBmini

pinkcow13

That is a Fabulous dress! Your mom will look amazing in it!

levioosa

That dress is fabulous.  And if you you're saying that the wedding is "not by any means a casual" affair, then I'm sure she will fit in seamlessly.  She is going to look stunning.  Who cares if it's a little early?  Get your fancy on! 

SmileDamnit

Yep - screw it and let her strut her fabulous self in that fabulous gown. Will people judge? Maybe. Will people judge just about everything? Yep. Should we give two fucks about that since we can't control other's peoples judgement. Hell to the no. 

manateehugger

Besides me, my mother was the most formally dressed woman at our afternoon church ceremony. She looked fucking fantastic though and it was a gorgeous dress (she's almost 60 and I would have worn her dress in a heart beat). If people judged her, I'd laugh because she looked fabulous. She then changed into a swirly gown for dancing at the reception.

This is a beautiful dress. I'd tell her to rock it. It's not every day that a woman gets married and it's not every day that a woman gets to watch her daughter get married. 

lyndausvi

stunning dress. I've never seen a mom's dress that I thought was too dresses.

STARMOON44

Pretty dress, but I would wonder why she's wearing an evening gown in the day time. I think I'm just stubbornly old fashioned about it, but for daytime I'd think something knee length, in a lighter color, with less glitz/ glam/boob. This is more of a black tie dress.

novella1186

It's actually really refreshing to see a post like this where your concern is other people judging your mom, instead of you saying "help, she's trying to steal my thunder!" lol 

If they judge her, they're idiots. She'll look amazing and I'm sure she'll feel amazing and be glowing, and you can't judge anybody for that! 

raissyrais

I think that dress is stunning and I'm sure your mom will look fabuloso in it. Who cares what anybody says. If mamma got swagger, mamma got swagger.

beethery

That dress is fucking phenomenal. Haters gonna hate!

offensivekitten2

Eh, let her wear the dress.  I am sure I would kill someone to look good in a dress like that after motherhood.

theexactlee

Seriously? I'm just gonna pipe up here and point out that this group as a whole does nothing but preach etiquette 24 hours a day. You take pride in telling everyone what they are doing wrong, when they are being tacky and you do it with a smile. 

Heck, in the post directly above this one you ladies are ripping apart two other wedding forum websites for how tacky and classless they are (while opening fake accounts to ridicule and poke fun at them nonetheless). 

So yeah, if your mom wants to dress up like Celine Dion at the Colliseum at your Noon wedding have at it. But this, ooh yeah, this I would side eye and yes, your guests will too. And there is very little I judge people for when they are just trying to be happy.

ClimbingBride like I do you so often, this just "rubbed me the wrong way". Reading these replies of everyone telling you how wonderful the dress is. Nope. I don't buy it. It's a gorgeous gown, for a black tie affair.

You don't get a pass just because you are popular on the forum. The standard has been set. Come to the forum looking for validation when you are breaking etiquette and expect to own it if people tell you that you are wrong. I learned that lesson the hard way.

huskypuppy14

theexactlee said:

Seriously? I'm just gonna pipe up here and point out that this group as a whole does nothing but preach etiquette 24 hours a day. You take pride in telling everyone what they are doing wrong, when they are being tacky and you do it with a smile. 

Heck, in the post directly above this one you ladies are ripping apart two other wedding forum websites for how tacky and classless they are (while opening fake accounts to ridicule and poke fun at them nonetheless). 

So yeah, if your mom wants to dress up like Celine Dion at the Colliseum at your Noon wedding have at it. But this, ooh yeah, this I would side eye and yes, your guests will too. And there is very little I judge people for when they are just trying to be happy.

ClimbingBride like I do you so often, this just "rubbed me the wrong way". Reading these replies of everyone telling you how wonderful the dress is. Nope. I don't buy it. It's a gorgeous gown, for a black tie affair.

You don't get a pass just because you are popular on the forum. The standard has been set. Come to the forum looking for validation when you are breaking etiquette and expect to own it if people tell you that you are wrong. I learned that lesson the hard way.

It's a victim-less crime. No one is being inconvenienced or hurt if the MOB wears a black fancy dress at noon. Plenty of men wear tuxes in the daytime and most posters don't have a problem with that either. 

Yes, there are a few posters who will adamantly say what the proper attire is for the time of day.  But most on here don't care. 

huskypuppy14

Also  this is the MOB here. Not random cousin Sally trying to be an AW.

ohannabelle

It's definitely formal. I'd say it depends on the venue. If the venue and wedding are very elegant and formal, she can pull it off. 

The dress is beautiful, without question. Honestly, the black concerns me- it's a very evening look. And I'm never a fan of black at daytime weddings, but that's a personal preference. 

However, your mom is a grown up, and we don't get to tell grown ups what to wear. If she's comfortable, and feels good, that's her choice. 

I personally would be steering my mom to a softer color for daytime, but would back off at the first resistance. Because not my choice.

Really, without seeing how formal or dressy the venue, I can't say for certain.

hellohkb

That dress is so stunning. Your mom should feel fabulous on her daughters wedding day

sophhabobopha

Get it momma

climbingsingle

theexactlee said:

Seriously? I'm just gonna pipe up here and point out that this group as a whole does nothing but preach etiquette 24 hours a day. You take pride in telling everyone what they are doing wrong, when they are being tacky and you do it with a smile. 

Heck, in the post directly above this one you ladies are ripping apart two other wedding forum websites for how tacky and classless they are (while opening fake accounts to ridicule and poke fun at them nonetheless). 

So yeah, if your mom wants to dress up like Celine Dion at the Colliseum at your Noon wedding have at it. But this, ooh yeah, this I would side eye and yes, your guests will too. And there is very little I judge people for when they are just trying to be happy.

ClimbingBride like I do you so often, this just "rubbed me the wrong way". Reading these replies of everyone telling you how wonderful the dress is. Nope. I don't buy it. It's a gorgeous gown, for a black tie affair.

You don't get a pass just because you are popular on the forum. The standard has been set. Come to the forum looking for validation when you are breaking etiquette and expect to own it if people tell you that you are wrong. I learned that lesson the hard way.

theexactlee  Please kindly shove it. I told my mother to wear whatever she wants. And she picked a dress she loves. Tacky would have been telling her she can't wear it, which yes, I would have gotten torn apart for. Did I do that? Nope. 

You learned that lesson because you're planning a tacky-ass vow renewal. Sorry that this is not the same situation. 

RebeccaFlower

I think it might be a little much, but it's whatever. My mom was overdressed at my brothers wedding (like this, not absurdly, just a couple notches) but she looked freaking gorgeous and got so many compliments. 

ohannabelle

theexactlee said:

Seriously? I'm just gonna pipe up here and point out that this group as a whole does nothing but preach etiquette 24 hours a day. You take pride in telling everyone what they are doing wrong, when they are being tacky and you do it with a smile. 

Heck, in the post directly above this one you ladies are ripping apart two other wedding forum websites for how tacky and classless they are (while opening fake accounts to ridicule and poke fun at them nonetheless). 

So yeah, if your mom wants to dress up like Celine Dion at the Colliseum at your Noon wedding have at it. But this, ooh yeah, this I would side eye and yes, your guests will too. And there is very little I judge people for when they are just trying to be happy.

ClimbingBride like I do you so often, this just "rubbed me the wrong way". Reading these replies of everyone telling you how wonderful the dress is. Nope. I don't buy it. It's a gorgeous gown, for a black tie affair.

You don't get a pass just because you are popular on the forum. The standard has been set. Come to the forum looking for validation when you are breaking etiquette and expect to own it if people tell you that you are wrong. I learned that lesson the hard way.

Whoa! Back it up, here! I missed this. Check yourself.

This is not an "etiquette" situation. Nobody's giving etiquette passes, and this isn't high school. Opinions aren't popularity rated. 

The etiquette rule with mothers of brides and grooms is that the bride (or groom) do not get to dictate the attire of parents, or any other guest. The etiquette rule for moms of is don't wear white, or anything bridal. 

For many years, it was also don't wear black, because it could be mistaken for mourning. I'm old school, and superstitious (I'll admit it. I count blackbirds, I throw salt, I hold my breath when passing a graveyard, I never ever ever put shoes on a bed) and I never wear black to a wedding. Personal decision. Not etiquette.

 

This is strictly a matter of personal taste in attire. Not etiquette. Personal taste is that, personal. 

Your personal taste is that this is too dressy for daytime. My personal opinion is that it depends on the formality and elegance of the setting and wedding party. Other people's personal opinion is, rock it, mom.

And Climbing Bride has a point. You're in no position to preach appropriate attire, or suddenly become the arbiter of good taste when you yourself are going to be prancing about in a full blown wedding gown ten years or whatever after your wedding, with "bridesmaids" and a "wedding party." If your concerns are propriety and restraint and appropriate dress for the appropriate occasion, take another good look at this dress. This is exactly what would be appropriate for you at your own anniversary party.

beethery

theexactlee said:

Seriously? I'm just gonna pipe up here and point out that this group as a whole does nothing but preach etiquette 24 hours a day. You take pride in telling everyone what they are doing wrong, when they are being tacky and you do it with a smile. 

Heck, in the post directly above this one you ladies are ripping apart two other wedding forum websites for how tacky and classless they are (while opening fake accounts to ridicule and poke fun at them nonetheless). 

So yeah, if your mom wants to dress up like Celine Dion at the Colliseum at your Noon wedding have at it. But this, ooh yeah, this I would side eye and yes, your guests will too. And there is very little I judge people for when they are just trying to be happy.

ClimbingBride like I do you so often, this just "rubbed me the wrong way". Reading these replies of everyone telling you how wonderful the dress is. Nope. I don't buy it. It's a gorgeous gown, for a black tie affair.

You don't get a pass just because you are popular on the forum. The standard has been set. Come to the forum looking for validation when you are breaking etiquette and expect to own it if people tell you that you are wrong. I learned that lesson the hard way.

Please do tell us how the fuck her mom is breaking etiquette by wearing a spangled black evening gown to Climbing's wedding. PLEASE ELABORATE. I would love to read this. Please include your side-eyeing that you will do if someone comes to your wedding vow renewal wearing something spangly and festive. I am a rude ass bitch. Truly, not a nice person to most. I know rude shit.

Rude is acting pressed as hell when a bride's MOTHER's attire gets approval from the people on the board. Rude is getting pressed as hell and trying to say that nobody is hating on Climbing's mom's dress because she's ~*popular*~. Hoody fucking toot, lady. Apparently your blog is so fucking ~*popular*~ that your vow renewal is being paid for by your ~*ad sponsors*~. Focus on your vow renewal, and save the drama for your blog.

There's a thread fucking around somewhere (Oh shit and I found another one! CLICK) where a bride was advised to hit the chill button, because her FMIL wants to wear a spangly ball gown. She was advised that guests can wear whatever the hell they choose. 

Do whatever the hell you want, but don't get all pissy because someone's MOM's dress didn't come against opposition because her mom isn't going to look like an attention whore. Wear your chopped-train wedding gown to your sponsored-by-google vow renewal, and please, stay pressed.