• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

1356754

Re: Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

  • Jame1987 said:
    So I have been more than insulted by your comment that a JOP wedding in the same as a religious one. They are not, in many religions even if you are civilly married it is not recognized in the church and you are living in sin. Sometimes due to underlying circumstances a church and civil wedding cannot take place at same time I.e. one party needs an annullment and it hasn't gone through. Personally I see the church wedding as more binding under God than a civil wedding.
    As a Christian, I am insulted by your assertation of JOP wedding not being the same as a church one. I know plenty of Christians who, for whatever reason,  have had JOP weddings and are just as married as someone who married in a churchThere are no underlying circumstances (not even waiting for an annulment) that okays two wedding ceremonies. There just isn't.

    I couldn't say it better!!

    PrettyGirlLostBlue_Birdchiualover
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Well, and there's the whole fact that if you're married in the church, then you're married BOTH religiously and civilly. So just do the church wedding.

    I mean, if you're in a religion where the civil ceremony doesn't make you really married, then I don't see why you would do a civil ceremony in the first place.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    grumbledoreOliveOilsMomsimplykayla
  • Jame1987 said:
    So I have been more than insulted by your comment that a JOP wedding in the same as a religious one. They are not, in many religions even if you are civilly married it is not recognized in the church and you are living in sin. Sometimes due to underlying circumstances a church and civil wedding cannot take place at same time I.e. one party needs an annullment and it hasn't gone through. Personally I see the church wedding as more binding under God than a civil wedding.
    So only Christians can have binding marriages? What about people from other faiths or those who chose to not practice an organized religion? I got married in a civil ceremony by an ex-Catholic priest who is now a Protestant minister. Does that make me married or not married by your reasoning? My sister got married at the courthouse by a JOP - are she and her husband married or not married according to you?

    Give me a break.
    image
    PrettyGirlLostBlue_Bird
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jame1987 said:
    So I have been more than insulted by your comment that a JOP wedding in the same as a religious one.

    Personally I see the church wedding as more binding under God than a civil wedding.
    Both ceremonies involve declaring intent and signing a legal document. A civil wedding is just as binding as a church wedding. End of story.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • laura021484laura021484 member
    First Comment
    edited October 2013
  • laura021484 - Sigh. I quoted you. 
    image
    mrskaiser22Dreamergirl8812itzMSShesSoCold
  • @PDKH they just never learn, do they...



    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • This is interesting. I've been to at least two PPDs that I know of and it never occurred to me to be offended that they were reenacting things. Both included a vow ceremony. One had the whole princess dress shebang (a military couple that had been sent overseas and couldn't party the year before). The other was the worst "wedding" I think I've ever been to (and a second marriage at that), but at least they were honest about it.
    Sällskapdjur
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    PDKH said:
    kitty8403 said:
    This is interesting. I've been to at least two PPDs that I know of and it never occurred to me to be offended that they were reenacting things. Both included a vow ceremony. One had the whole princess dress shebang (a military couple that had been sent overseas and couldn't party the year before). The other was the worst "wedding" I think I've ever been to (and a second marriage at that), but at least they were honest about it.
    This excuse is total BS. I hate it with a passion. 

    Totes agree!
    PrettyGirlLostTheVirginiansmcgarci2
  • Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2013

     

    kitty8403 said:
    Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.
    I thought to be legally married besides signing the marraige license, there must be some sort of vows exchanged. As long as the don't do that at their rehearsal, I think they will be okay.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    kitty8403 said:
    Honest question. I've heard of couples who sign the marriage license at their rehearsal so it's one less thing taking up time on the wedding day (so guests don't have to wait quite so long after the ceremony). So then, yes, the couple is legally married the night before, I suppose. Would you still consider that inappropriate? I'm thinking of borrowing from Canadian traditions and just signing ours as part of the ceremony to avoid that time gap.
    Seriously?  How the hell long can a few signatures take on the wedding day?  And just signing the marriage license does not make you married.  Your officiant has to sign it as well and most likely the officiant will not sign it unless a ceremony has taken place (ie, exchange of vows and such).

    grumbledorePrettyGirlLostBlue_Bird
  • Yeah, signing the marriage certificate usually takes all of 2 minutes. How long does it take you and your friend to sign your checks at a restaurant?

    There you go.  
    image
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostBlue_Bird
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Also, I have never seen anyone ever sign a marriage license during the ceremony. I assume they do it after it's over when the guests are on our way to the reception.

    grumbledoreBlue_Bird
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Also, I have never seen anyone ever sign a marriage license during the ceremony. I assume they do it after it's over when the guests are on our way to the reception.
    Or people could be like me and H and completely forget about our marriage license and then not get it signed until after we got back from our HM.  Luckily our friend officiated our ceremony, otherwise we could have had an issue :)

    PrettyGirlLostsimplykayla
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Also, I have never seen anyone ever sign a marriage license during the ceremony. I assume they do it after it's over when the guests are on our way to the reception.
    Or people could be like me and H and completely forget about our marriage license and then not get it signed until after we got back from our HM.  Luckily our friend officiated our ceremony, otherwise we could have had an issue :)
    That means you are not married, do-over!

    grumbledoresimplykaylamcgarci2kkjane
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Also, I have never seen anyone ever sign a marriage license during the ceremony. I assume they do it after it's over when the guests are on our way to the reception.
    Or people could be like me and H and completely forget about our marriage license and then not get it signed until after we got back from our HM.  Luckily our friend officiated our ceremony, otherwise we could have had an issue :)
    That means you are not married, do-over!
    Wooo!!  PPD here I come! :)

    mcgarci2
  • Thanks for the feedback. I guess it does sound a little odd, just a trend I've noticed.
    I'm not Canadian myself, just understood that this approach was a common part of ceremonies there.
    How long can it take to get a few signatures? Well, if you're the couple I was a bridesmaid for 10 years ago, quite awhile. They forgot to bring the license to the venue in the first place. At the end of the day, they were not married at all.
  • kitty8403 said:
    Thanks for the feedback. I guess it does sound a little odd, just a trend I've noticed. I'm not Canadian myself, just understood that this approach was a common part of ceremonies there. How long can it take to get a few signatures? Well, if you're the couple I was a bridesmaid for 10 years ago, quite awhile. They forgot to bring the license to the venue in the first place. At the end of the day, they were not married at all.
    That's poor planning on their part. And not relevant to the scenario you placed forward. 

    And forgetting to sign a marriage certificate (like Maggie hee hee!) and quickly scribbling  your signature on it when you remember is not even remotely the same as being married but insisting you haven't had a real wedding. 
    image
    grumbledoreDreamergirl8812PrettyGirlLost
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards