Does your SO try to dictate the way you cut, color, or style your hair?

missdelilah

I'm curious whether this happens to anyone else. My FI hates straight bangs, but loves sweeping ones. I happen to love both, and enjoying switching from time to time. The last time I cut them straight, he complained and moped so much, that I started to think it wasn't worth it. I might think about doing it again after the wedding, after all, my body, my decision, right? I don't tell him what to do with his appearance, although I've been encouraging him to make healthier choices and work out more often, which has the added benefit of increasing his attractiveness, as well as improving his mood and well being. Has anyone else come up against this?

levioosa

My ex did.  He also told me if I cut my hair short he wouldn't find me attractive anymore.  And he got butt hurt if I ate chocolate/sweets and would mope around if I ate so much as one M&M.  Ass.

  I think every SO has something they like/don't like.  Mine begs me to keep my hair as long as possible, but I know he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what so it doesn't sting like it did with my ex. 

KytchynWitche

Nope. I've asked his input in the past, and he just says "as long as you're happy". I do know that he would prefer that I not be blonde, but he would never attempt to stop me if I wanted to try. I also know that he adores me as a redhead (as do I). I have been every colour under the sun in the last 3 years. As for styles, he really just doesn't care, and that's good for me because I'm very impulsive. Last January I got fed up with having long hair and, after a week of trying to find a salon in my area that didn't want R500 ($50) just to cut it, went into the bathroom and lopped it off myself.

larrygaga

My FI would never dream of telling me what to do with my hair. However, I know he doesn't like blondes and i know he likes me with a teeny bit of fat just by the amount of sexual attention I get from him when I am a little chubby. (awesome, right?) If I change anything about my looks he rarely notices and I honestly think someone moping over little details in their SO is really strange and kind of controlling, especially from your typical man. I think you should do your hair how you want and if he mopes tell him to get over it. I think there is a certain amount of respecting your FI's wishes when it comes to your looks, because hey, they have to look at you. At the same time, they are supposed to love you no matter what. 

I do dictate how his hair is cut because I cut his hair and he just asks that it's short. I also pick out clothes for him if we are going somewhere nice but because he has no idea and asks for help, not cause I think he's my ken doll or anything!

lovesclimbing

Not really, but he doesn't want me to cut it short. I really want to try a cute pixie or short bob, (not permanent, just for fun) but H is not a fan. I probably won't ever do it because he really doesn't want me to and I care what he thinks.

But on that note, I don't want him to get a buzz cut or go bald, so we're pretty even.

artbyallie

H doesn't want me to have short hair, but my hair would likely be a mess of frizz if it were, so we don't have a problem there. He otherwise gives zero fucks what I do with it and will think it is and I am beautiful no matter what. He doesn't care what color it is (though I stick with red as I love it and everyone is convinced it's natural). He also doesn't care what I do with body hair, which I think is a good attitude to have.

But if I did something with my appearance and he moped and whined about it, uh no. I'd shut that shit down and tell him to take a hike til he can stop being an asshole.

BreMR

The only preference I know my fi has is that I don't have a pixie cut, mostly I'll say "should I cut my hair off again?" (I usually have really long hair) and he says "whatever you want, but you always complain about it when you do."

However, I did request he grow a slight beard and he did it.. so I guess I probably dictate more than he does  I actually wish he'd give me more feedback on what he likes, because as silly as it is, you want to feel the most attractive to your s.o. 

jdluvr06

Dh usually doesn't notice if I do something different with my hair unless it is pretty drastic. A few months ago I chopped it off into a Bob and dyed it black with purple streaks. He noticed that. I've kept the purple longer than I thought I would because he loves it soooo much,

flyingfoxes

Nah - his only request is I not cut it super short.  

JaxInBlue

Preferences but no requests - he prefers my hair longer and doesn't think I need to dye it, but he doesn't mind when I change it.  Other than dying it red, I haven't done anything super drastic because I have such a hard time finding a stylist and salon I like. 

At the same time, I was super nervous about him growing a beard but now that he's had it for almost a year, I love the way it looks on him!

FutureMrsN3312

My H is good about that stuff.  His only request is that I don't go "Ellen short".  I did locks of love last year donating 11 inches of hair so my hair was just touching my shoulders.  People kept saying "OMG C is gonna get so pissed...isn't C going to be mad?". Ummm no I'm a grown ass woman. He doesn't get to dictate nor do I.  Unless we're going somewhere and he hasn't mentioned going for haircut.  Then I'll bring it up.

MegEn1

My FI just doesn't like drastic change. So if I have my hair long and then hack it short he'll be grumpy not because of how I look but because he doesn't like sudden changes in life. About five years ago his mom went from blonde, which she'd been most of her life, back to brown. He still hasn't forgiven her. 

Although you should have seen him about a year after we first met, when I told him my natural hair color was brown, not black as I had dyed it. To this day (three years later) he still calls my hair 'a lie' with a distrustful glare.

But he'd never think of actually dictating what I could or couldn't do.

climbingsingle

Nope. My FI would never in a million years dictate my haircut or hair color to me. I really can't imagine him being upset over something like that. It seems so silly to me. 

Fran1985

Nope. He even told me he thinks my grey hairs are cute

caitlinmca

Nope, he actually doesn't ever know when I go to the hair salon as he works 5am to 1pm on the weekends and that's normally when I go, so by the time he gets off my hair is already done. I have been keeping it the same though as I have clip in hair extensions so the color always has to be the same otherwise they won't match up, and for my wedding I am trying to grow my hair to or past my boobs so it's not getting hacked right now, the day after the wedding, I'm going straight to my hair stylist though before we leave for our HM.

On the other hand, I pick his hairstyle. He was in the Army and had very minimal hair when I met him and most of the time we were dating so now that he can have hair, I like to keep it. He likes to keep it a bit long on top so he can gel it. I also pick out his clothes if I go shopping or if we are going out to dinner somewhere nice because he tends to always ask me what looks good, does this match.

futuremrsr2015

FI gets grumpy with sudden change, I cut my almost shoulder length to a pixie and he didn't talk to me for three days!  I still refuse to do what he says but some days it's just not worth the fight.  He hates any change and no one in his family except for him have ever dyed their hair so I get flack for even going bright red around them even though my grandparents supported my pink, orange, blue and purple hair choices in the past.

holyguacamole79

When we first started dating, my hair was long.  DH (well, at that time, BF) said that he liked long hair on me.  I kept growing it out during our engagement for the wedding.

About a month before we got married, I found out my aunt had breast cancer.  Two months after the wedding, I realized my hair was long enough to cut and donate to Pantene Beautiful Lengths, so I chopped it & donated it.  He said that he was surprised how much he liked it short on me.

ETA:  Funny, my sister (who got married this past Spring) cared more about my hair length than my husband did.  Shortly after she got engaged & asked me to be her MOH, she texted me and asked if I plan on growing my hair out for her wedding.  She claims she was "just curious" and that it wasn't a passive-aggressive request.  I still have my doubts.

theartistformerlyknownas

Nope. He prefers when it's long and blond, but wouldn't try to stop me from changing it. After the wedding when it goes red, he can deal.

emmyg65

Haha, no. It's not my husband's nature, and if he did, I wouldn't take it too well. Even directly asking his opinion on my appearance, like if I can't make up my mind, is like pulling teeth. All he'll say is, "Whatever you like best!"

Jells2dot0

My DH has preferences, but he would never tell me I couldn't do something. I've dyed my hair a few times very dark and he hated it, but kept his mouth shut! Of course, now I don't have any hair, so there isn't much for him to complain about

ElcaB

Nope. I know FI likes my hair long, but he knows it's my hair and I do what I want with it! He's been able to enjoy my long hair for the past 2-3 years, and after the wedding I'm going to go shorter than I ever have before. I can't wait! 

jenna8984

I showed him a pic of my SIL's new long bob and said I want to try something like this. My hair is very long but I NEVER do it, it's in a bun or pony every single day so what's the point of even having it long? He said "Eh, it's too soccer mom- wait and get it in a few years when you're older but not yet".

I'm not going to do it, because last time I had it that short (10 years ago) I hated it. But I know he wouldn't be mad about it if I did. Just like I "require" him to have a long beard but I don't get mad if he trims in hot summer months.

banana468

DH just doesn't care. My hair has been fairly short for the ten years we've been together and there's never been an issue with style.

He does have a preference regarding tattoos and would prefer I not get more than the one I have. It's not a big enough deal to me so I haven't looked into any.

cupcait927

I know that FI has preferences, such as long hair over short hair and brunette over blonde, but he'd never try to tell me what I could and couldn't do. I've made suggestions him, but never told him he HAD to do anything I suggested. He used to have a beard in college so I asked him last year if he'd grow his beard out for me so I could see what he looked like and he agreed to - almost a year later and he's still got the beard.

lurkergirl

Dictate? No.  Have a preference?  Definitely.  And it's a two way street.

He loves it long and brown and straight.  He sometimes says I would look good with blonde/blonde highlights.  He's a ginger, and has joked that there's only room for one in a relationship. 

Last year I "chopped" it from waist length to a little past my shoulders.  I am now working on growing it back out for the wedding.  Thankfully, his preferences match my preferences about my hair.

He used to have hair as long as mine long before we met, and I have to say I probably wouldn't have dated him if it were still that long.

hellosweetie1015

FI asks me not to cut it short. I have warned him that I will be donating as much as possible after the wedding, though, and while I won't be going super short with it, I will probably have to go to my shoulders.

We're about to find out how he feels about new color - my brother has a test coming up to get into the Paul Mitchell honors program, and I get to be the guinea pig! All it will cost is the gas to get to the school, too, which is approximately what it would cost to have a PM salon cut but not color it. I've told him that he only has two rules: No Super Platinum Bleach Blond (way too light, I'd look ridiculous) and I want it to be left longer than my shoulders, overall. YAY for a new 'do that I have NO real input on!

Inkdancer

FI doesn't care much. I love dyeing my hair red, so when it starts to fade he asks if I want to do it again. But long, short, curly, straight... all cool.

He does have preferences about how I dress. Not that he'd ever try to dictate it, but I can see his eyes light up when I look very feminine and cute. And if I put on a white tank top with jeans, we're not leaving the house

beethery

FI agreed with me when I said I couldn't pull off the Amber Rose look. If he tried to dictate cut and color, I'd break it down for a motherfucker.

SmileDamnit

Nope. He has his personal preferences, as do I with his hair, but that's the extent. I'm a big girl and can cut, color, style, not style as I please.

ShellD13

Nope, H actually has a really good sense of humor about my hair.  When we first started talking we arranged for our first date around the same time as a friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Lots of friends were dying a swatch of hair pink to support her but I couldn't dye my hair because I was just starting a locks of love growth cycle.  So I got a pink hair extension glued in, but H had never meet me in person so I asked him what he would think if I colored my hair pink - and he had no verbal reaction so when he showed up to pick me up for our date - I put on a HOT PINK wig to greet him at the door.  He didn't bat an eye but I will say he did look slightly relieved when he realized it was a wig :-)

In the nearly 4 years since, I've completed another locks of love cut and all H has said is that he used to love long hair on women but he really likes it when my hair is short because it is sassy like me.

WinstonsGirl

Nope. I've asked if he has preferences, but he doesn't. He says he'll find me beautiful whatever I look like. He's awesome.

I have asked him to grow a beard. He did last vacation but hated it, cos it's going grey. I though he looked so hot with it though. He can't wear one for work though, so off it came when we got home.