Does your SO try to dictate the way you cut, color, or style your hair?

STARMOON44

What's good for the goose is good for the gander:

" I don't tell him what to do with his appearance, although I've been encouraging him to make healthier choices and work out more often, which has the added benefit of increasing his attractiveness, as well as improving his mood and well being. "

He's asked that you avoid a hairstyle he doesn't care for, which requires 30 seconds of instructions to the hairstylist to avoid. You have asked (oh please, call it "encourage" if you want but I bet it feels like asking to him!) him to exercise more and eat better, a lifelong project that many struggle with and just happens to make him more attractive.

Mmmhhhhhmmm. Go with the swoopy bangs and count yourself lucky that it's so easy for you to be super attractive for him.

raissyrais

Mine is picky about hair colour and length (he wants me to look like Jasmine from Aladdin forever, which is his number one Disney fantasy lol) so he loves it when I keep my hair long and dark. Right now it's at the lowest part of the small of my back. But I definitely get it cut every 4 months at least. It just grows so damn fast. However, if I go lighter or shorter, he won't mind so much. He's one f those guys who likes athletic and really slim girls, so if I put a bit of weight on which thankfully is rare, he'll encourage me to eat healthier and exercise a little more. He's quite fit himself, can't be a hypocrite and say I don't like that lol.  He also hates those enormous handbags that women carry around. And too much makeup. 

EDT: Missed a few words. Rough morning.

emmaaa

Dictat? No. But requests? Yes.

FI has known me since we were 4 years old and the majority of the time I had super long hair. I went and got it cut at Great Clips during lunch one day senior year of high school. He liked it but he just likes my hair long. I have red hair I do low lights and high lights in it but he doesn't like it as much if it is too dark. I've already told him that I am going dark after the wedding just for fun.

So, he knows what he likes and doesn't like but has always said I'm beautiful no matter what my hair looks like. I joked about getting a pixie once (I wish I could pull it off, but my noggin is huge) and he was like, "I think that would look really good on you actually." I was very surprised.

OP, he hates cake bangs (straight across) also.

ohmrs2014

He always tells me whatever I want.  I'm actually going to get it glazed and cut today.  Asked him if I should keep it light or darken a bit and he didn't care.  He doesn't like when I cut it too short, but it doesn't bother him when I do.

We do however ask each others opinions and take them into consideration when shopping for clothes, especially when its for an event.  He's great for trying to push me out of my comfort zone with clothes and he hasn't steered me wrong yet.  And with his suits, I usually pick the tie and shirt because I like bright colors and he tends to stay more neutral.  He gets compliments when I pick his clothes out LOL.

lurkergirl

ohmrs2014 said:

He always tells me whatever I want.  I'm actually going to get it glazed and cut today.  Asked him if I should keep it light or darken a bit and he didn't care.  He doesn't like when I cut it too short, but it doesn't bother him when I do.

We do however ask each others opinions and take them into consideration when shopping for clothes, especially when its for an event.  He's great for trying to push me out of my comfort zone with clothes and he hasn't steered me wrong yet.  And with his suits, I usually pick the tie and shirt because I like bright colors and he tends to stay more neutral.  He gets compliments when I pick his clothes out LOL.

Haha, I pick a lot of FI's outfits for him.  If we're going to a dinner or out with friends or family, he'll get out of the shower and say, "What am I wearing?"  If I leave it up to him, he'll wear cargo shorts, free giveaway t-shirts, and camo flip flops everywhere.  So don't you see?  He needs my help

I should give him more credit.  He actually has decent style when he tries, but none of his stylish clothes fit anymore...

smalfrie19

He wants me to keep my long hair (its past my waist) and I have no problem with that since I would cry if I chopped it. 

He has voiced that he wants to see my "natural color" (dishwater blond) on me and I refuse. I tell him it would be a long and expensive process (I color my hair a dark chocolate brown and have been for years) of highlights and lightening my hair before she can color it just the blonde...and then I would only keep it for 8 weeks and have her color it back over again. 

He thinks I should just stop coloring it period and let it "grow out" ...well with hair as long as mine, no.. because it would look REALLY tacky with the grow out. 

What's funny is when we started dating, he told me he doesn't LIKE blonds... jesus man! 

mrsmagicgeek

No, because he likes having his balls attached to the rest of him.

I don't tell him how to do his either. I know he has preferences, and he knows I do too, but in the end it's just hair and it will grow back.

lyndausvi

DH prefers my hair a little lighter like it was when we first met.  Working on the sailboat my hair would get lighter in the sun.   But he doesn't really care as long as I'm happy.

DH's mom was a hair dresser, so is his sister.  He grew up coming home to women in his family having different lengths, styles and color.  He isn't phased by them and knew it will change soon anyway

southernbelle0915

Nope. He actually chooses his words very wisely and wouldn't try to dictate my hair any more than  would dictate his. 

If he moped, sulked, got grumpy, or didn't talk to me because of my HAIR, I'd be pissed. It's hair FFS...

pinkshorts27

I ask him sometimes what he prefers when I'm undecided between two colors, but no he does not do that. FI hates red hair, any color red. No clue why. He didn't mope when I dyed my hair red. He has preferences but doesn't impose them. He wants me top be happy and comfortable

Cookie Pusher

DH couldn't care less. Hell, he barely notices when I change my hair. His only request was that he'd prefer if I kept my hair longer than his (he does a 2 all over). No problem, dude, my head gets too cold to go bald.

RedJacks25

YES! He dislikes short hair, so my hair is very long now. For the most part, I don't mind because it's just hair and if I can make him happy then I will, but it's been soooo hot lately that my hair is always up and he'll complain that it's not down for him to look at...
But, it's like, hello? You try having heavy, sweaty, matted hair sticking to your neck when it's 100 degrees outside!

For our wedding, I'll have it down and fancy.

wandajune6

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

He doesn't like it when I wear a lot of makeup. I never wear much (clean up my skin, a bit of mascara, lip gloss) but when I wear a lot, he finds it strange and jokes about reminding him of his mother who wears a ton. He also hates the flashy acrylic nails that his mom and SILs wear -- which is fine with me because the idea of fake nails freaks me out.

FMIL thinks that a woman should always have a face full of makeup so I pile it on when she tries to show me off in "the old neighborhood." It's important to her so I put on a good show in front of her friends.

chibiyui

H also doesn't dictate, but expresses preferences. I recently did the peek a boo red highlights, and I went with the violet red. I really like it, but it's a bit on the subtle side since my hair is so dark. So I mentioned to H maybe bleaching my hair a little longer next time so it will be a bit more vivid. H said not to do that, it looks nice the way it is. So, yeah, he'd prefer I not go bolder with it, but he's not going to forbid me from doing it either. 

Of course, he knows if he forbade me from something concerning hair, I'd come home with something crazier out of spite. It's hair. It's not permenant.

VulgarGirl

FI and I will each ask the other for input if something looks good on us. For instance, she asked me how I thought she'd look as a blonde. And honestly I don't think it'd look good on her (which is what I told her) but if she had still decided to go blonde, I wouldn't say shit about it because it's her hair. 

I keep my hair short, and she likes the way it looks on me, and she prefers when I don't get drunk and put all the different colors in my hair, but if I wanted to grow it out and dye it black I don't think she'd care. It probably wouldn't look great on me and I'd probably hate it, but I don't think she'd mope about it.

NowIamMrsKlein

I have naturally red hair and have never dyed it. FI has always said that he would cry if I ever changed my hair colour. (however with the white hair that is starting to multiply he may just have to suck that up)

I've been rocking the long hair since before we started dating, and he's seen some old pictures of me with short hair and he's always like 'do this again!! please!!' But other than that he really could care less, as long as what I am rocking makes me happy and feel pretty. I may lop it off after the wedding for something fresh! who knows!

On the opposite side, I do tell FI that I prefer his hair a teensy bit longer. When we first started dating he was just razoring the sides down and I thought it was a bit of a young hairstyle, especially in his profession (Charter Pilot). He actually agreed but had been too intimdated to go to an actual salon to get a 'real big boy' haircut. He went once and now is completely obsessed and spends way more than I do on keeping his hair smart and professional hahaha.

bethsmiles

SO doesn't care at all what I do with my hair. He doesn't even really have preferences. I've done a bunch of different colors and styles and he liked all of them. I usually don't even tell him when I'm planning on changing my hair.

southernbelle0915

wandajune6 said:

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

He doesn't like it when I wear a lot of makeup. I never wear much (clean up my skin, a bit of mascara, lip gloss) but when I wear a lot, he finds it strange and jokes about reminding him of his mother who wears a ton. He also hates the flashy acrylic nails that his mom and SILs wear -- which is fine with me because the idea of fake nails freaks me out.

FMIL thinks that a woman should always have a face full of makeup so I pile it on when she tries to show me off in "the old neighborhood." It's important to her so I put on a good show in front of her friends.

Whaaaaaa??? How miserable. I'm sorry she pressures you into that. You know you don't have to...

cupcait927

lurkergirl said:

ohmrs2014 said:

He always tells me whatever I want.  I'm actually going to get it glazed and cut today.  Asked him if I should keep it light or darken a bit and he didn't care.  He doesn't like when I cut it too short, but it doesn't bother him when I do.

We do however ask each others opinions and take them into consideration when shopping for clothes, especially when its for an event.  He's great for trying to push me out of my comfort zone with clothes and he hasn't steered me wrong yet.  And with his suits, I usually pick the tie and shirt because I like bright colors and he tends to stay more neutral.  He gets compliments when I pick his clothes out LOL.

Haha, I pick a lot of FI's outfits for him.  If we're going to a dinner or out with friends or family, he'll get out of the shower and say, "What am I wearing?"  If I leave it up to him, he'll wear cargo shorts, free giveaway t-shirts, and camo flip flops everywhere.  So don't you see?  He needs my help

I should give him more credit.  He actually has decent style when he tries, but none of his stylish clothes fit anymore...

@lurkergirl your FI sounds like mine! I finally got him to buy a couple pairs of flat front shorts instead of the cargo shorts he always goes for. Instantly he looked his age and not like the 22 year old hippy college kid that he was. He's a sucker for a free tshirt though, so we've compromised. He does ask me what he should wear when we go out places and I always have to help him match his tie to his dress shirt for work, since he can't distinguish between shades of color very well.

doeydo

Is trying to control one's SO appearance not a sign of abuse?  Either way, it is just effed up, if you ask me.  
I actually am thinking of trying a bob, and donating my cut off hair to 360 Hair (they make wigs and give them to children whose parents can't afford to buy them wigs, from what I understand).  FI prefers longer hair, but says I would always be beautiful to him and it is my hair to do with whatever I want to.

missdelilah

STARMOON44 said:

What's good for the goose is good for the gander: " I don't tell him what to do with his appearance, although I've been encouraging him to make healthier choices and work out more often, which has the added benefit of increasing his attractiveness, as well as improving his mood and well being. " He's asked that you avoid a hairstyle he doesn't care for, which requires 30 seconds of instructions to the hairstylist to avoid. You have asked (oh please, call it "encourage" if you want but I bet it feels like asking to him!) him to exercise more and eat better, a lifelong project that many struggle with and just happens to make him more attractive. Mmmhhhhhmmm. Go with the swoopy bangs and count yourself lucky that it's so easy for you to be super attractive for him.

 I know it sounds super bitchy the way I put it, but it's about making positive lifestyle choices that good outcomes now and in the future.  Looking better is a side effect, but there's nothing wrong or unattractive about how he looks now. I'm more worried about things like blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, etc.  The issue is, that he can do this.  I know a lot of people struggle with it, but he's done it in the past and of his own free will, he just needed some incentive.  

JCbride2015

We both have preferences for each other's appearance but none of it is too serious.  I really like when he is clean-shaven, but he often grows a beard for a while.  Oh well.  He prefers my hair long, but I tend to go through cycles where I'll grow it out, then donate it and have a bob for a while, then grow it again.  I don't color my hair so that one's easy.

He did just get kind of freaked out by the thought of me having a removable denture for my four front teeth for about six months while I wait on implants.  I don't know if it's cosmetic or more than anything medical-related really squicks him out.  He can't even stand having his teeth cleaned.  I'm pretty sure my sister (dental hygienist) has to give him nitrous when she cleans his teeth.

missdelilah

Maybe I shouldn't have said "dictate" in the original post, but really, the amount of moping he did was pissed off three year old level.  He still occasionally says I should go to a different salon because of that "terrible" haircut I got in January.  No, it wasn't terrible, he just didn't like it.

I'll be cutting it after the wedding and he can suck it up.  

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!

daria24

H has stated that he doesn't like short hair and I have kept it longer partially because of that. Also being terrified of what I would look like with short hair. But age catches up to all of us, someday he'll have to deal with me having an "old lady" cut. 

jynxiie

FI and I both agreed that we like it long. He wouldn't want me to cut it short and he knows I wouldn't anyways - as it looked awful on me as a kid.

Colour wise... He's seen me with tons of different hair colours. He said he likes it whatever colour but I have asked for input... He likes me blonde and he really liked it when it was brown with red highlights throughout it. 

Either way, I love it blonde so that's okay with me.

sophhabobopha

FI prefers my hair long and natural (dark brown). Luckily for him, that's the mood I'm in. He wouldn't dream of telling me not to dye it or cut it if I want to, though. And I looove his beard. Ain't to proud to beg (:

hellosweetie1015

daria24 said:

H has stated that he doesn't like short hair and I have kept it longer partially because of that. Also being terrified of what I would look like with short hair. But age catches up to all of us, someday he'll have to deal with me having an "old lady" cut. 

NOT MINE! I have already decided that I'm gonna be that creepy old lady with the wild grey hair sticking out from a messy lump on the back of her head. I don't understand why after a certain age women want(/feel like they have) to cut all of their hair off. Nopenopenope. I refuse.

beethery

The only things FI will comment on about appearance-wise is if one of us has something in our hair/on our faces. 

He also actually appreciated it when we were about to go somewhere and I said...you have on green shorts and a green shirt. He immediately went "HO HO HOOOOO GREEN GIANT... I'm gonna change so I don't look like I'm gonna hand out vegetables."

That's about it.

emanon321

My FI knows I would sooner shave off all the hair on my head than listen to anyone's preference about my hair. I'm the type to cut out a picture in a magazine and take it in to my hair person and experiment. Right now I have kind of a shaggy pixie with a super short back, long messy/spikey parts up top, side swept bangs, and cute pointy side things in front of my ears. I think it can only be properly described as anime hair right now. Haha Although Bed Head discontinued my favorite product so things aren't as awesome as they should be. I'm trying to find a replacement before the wedding.

I'm actually having a super hard time not looking for something new to bring to my hair person. But I really like the hair I have now. So I would rather keep this style for a while than try something new and risk being ruined or it not suiting me right before the wedding.

LadyMillil

wandajune6 said:

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

DH does this too. He can never tell when I cut my hair so I find it funny that he makes such a big deal about it. He doesn't like short hair, and I look too man-ish with short hair, so I keep my hair long. He would like me to dye it, but I don't want to. I did try a red-brown temporary dye but it bothered my scalp so I haven't tried again. I really don't want to deal with the upkeep of dyed or highlighted hair, and DH doesn't think upkeep is important because he likes it when the roots are showing.