Does your SO try to dictate the way you cut, color, or style your hair?

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I have had short hair and hated it.  I do not have the face for it.  I have since grown my hair out pretty long and FI likes how long my hair is.  I have had bangs off and on over the years and FI hasn't said anything about them, so I think he hardly notices, but he's always commenting on how sexy my long hair is.  

I get frustrated sometimes and threaten to shave it all off but he makes a sad face and begs me to keep it.  He would never FORCE me to keep it long, but I get he has a preference, just like I have a preference for him keeping his hair short.  If he grew it out, that's his choice, but I like the crew-cut

KatieinBkln

FI knows that there is nothing to be gained from trying to tell me how to present myself. Luckily, he is also really excited when I want to experiment with my hair. I am a big fan of growing out, chopping, growing out, chopping, since I get bored. I'm growing out now, pre-wedding, but have been dreaming of doing an undercut and then a modified mohawk later, which he is happily on-board with. 

I do like to give him a heads up if I'm thinking of changing something drastically. While I would never want to allow him "veto" power or anything like that, if he really, truly worried that something I wanted to do would bother him, I like to think I'd be able to compromise (I say this mainly because my dad got rid of some facial hair he'd had forever when I was a teen, and between my mom and me giving him the silent treatment/reacting viscerally, he had grown it back within a month. Fair? No. But he looked like a stranger!)

wandajune6

southernbelle0915 said:

wandajune6 said:

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

He doesn't like it when I wear a lot of makeup. I never wear much (clean up my skin, a bit of mascara, lip gloss) but when I wear a lot, he finds it strange and jokes about reminding him of his mother who wears a ton. He also hates the flashy acrylic nails that his mom and SILs wear -- which is fine with me because the idea of fake nails freaks me out.

FMIL thinks that a woman should always have a face full of makeup so I pile it on when she tries to show me off in "the old neighborhood." It's important to her so I put on a good show in front of her friends.

Whaaaaaa??? How miserable. I'm sorry she pressures you into that. You know you don't have to...

 Actually, she never pressures me. She puts a lot of pressure on FSIL so I know it matters to her. FI's brother's wives (who are sisters) also wear more around her. I do it because I know it matters to her and because I love her. But I save it for when we're going to be around her friends-- I'm not going crazy!

Senecaf

FI likes it strait but realizes he will rarely see it that way because ain't nobody got time fo that. He also told me after the Keratin treatment callmed it a bit he prefers my hair this way to its normal wild and craziness. It costs around $300 so again. Not happening often buddy. I don't think he would like it short but we've never discussed that.

Thank goodness he loves me no matter how crazy my hair is!

wandajune6

LadyMillil said:

wandajune6 said:

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

DH does this too. He can never tell when I cut my hair so I find it funny that he makes such a big deal about it. He doesn't like short hair, and I look too man-ish with short hair, so I keep my hair long. He would like me to dye it, but I don't want to. I did try a red-brown temporary dye but it bothered my scalp so I haven't tried again. I really don't want to deal with the upkeep of dyed or highlighted hair, and DH doesn't think upkeep is important because he likes it when the roots are showing.

FI's the same way! he whimpers about me cutting my hair but doesn't notice if I haven't told him. I don't dye my hair but I suspect that he'd notice that.

hellosweetie1015

wandajune6 said:

LadyMillil said:

wandajune6 said:

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

DH does this too. He can never tell when I cut my hair so I find it funny that he makes such a big deal about it. He doesn't like short hair, and I look too man-ish with short hair, so I keep my hair long. He would like me to dye it, but I don't want to. I did try a red-brown temporary dye but it bothered my scalp so I haven't tried again. I really don't want to deal with the upkeep of dyed or highlighted hair, and DH doesn't think upkeep is important because he likes it when the roots are showing.

FI's the same way! he whimpers about me cutting my hair but doesn't notice if I haven't told him. I don't dye my hair but I suspect that he'd notice that.

I whimper every time FI goes. I love his hair long(ish) and a little shaggy, and every single time he goes he comes back looking rather like a shorn chicken. But he likes it shorter because it's less annoying to him. I also beg him to let his goatee and moustache area alone every time he shaves, and he FINALLY did that the other day and it made me SO HAPPY I seriously bounced around for a minute or two when I got home. 

So I'm happy enough to leave my hair semi-long for him, haha. Keeping his goatee without keeping the wild-man beard is apparently a lot of work, and leaving my hair long is exactly no extra work since I like it long anyway.

photokitty

He would prefer if I cut it pixie short but he was very supportive when I chopped off 16 inches last month for Wigs For Kids. It's chin length. Whenever he threatens to shave his head, I counter with a pixie cut...so I guess we both have opinions but don't make any demands.

afox007

lurkergirl said:

ohmrs2014 said:

He always tells me whatever I want.  I'm actually going to get it glazed and cut today.  Asked him if I should keep it light or darken a bit and he didn't care.  He doesn't like when I cut it too short, but it doesn't bother him when I do.

We do however ask each others opinions and take them into consideration when shopping for clothes, especially when its for an event.  He's great for trying to push me out of my comfort zone with clothes and he hasn't steered me wrong yet.  And with his suits, I usually pick the tie and shirt because I like bright colors and he tends to stay more neutral.  He gets compliments when I pick his clothes out LOL.

Haha, I pick a lot of FI's outfits for him.  If we're going to a dinner or out with friends or family, he'll get out of the shower and say, "What am I wearing?"  If I leave it up to him, he'll wear cargo shorts, free giveaway t-shirts, and camo flip flops everywhere.  So don't you see?  He needs my help

I should give him more credit.  He actually has decent style when he tries, but none of his stylish clothes fit anymore...


I have to pick out most of his clothes too. Heck I would be happy with cargo shorts, free shorts and flip flops. I can't get FI to comprehend that no camp shorts and a plaid short sleeve button up do not match. Or that a shirt and tie with faded torn jeans does not count as "dressed up".

FI finally admited he likes me better as a brunette than a blonde. I was blonde when I met his and have gone back and forward between the two for years and this is the first I've heard of it. He does give an opinion on my clothes from time to time, usually its telling me its too short or that its not the most flattering cut.

rnsoon

My SO will add input if asked, or if I say something that he doesn't like. He doesn't like bangs, but I didn't know that until I mentioned getting them one day. He will, however, make it absolutely known that he doesn't want me to cut my hair (it's mid-back in length).  I wouldn't deliberately do something that he's stated he didn't like, but that's a personal choice. I want to be beautiful and "sexy" in his eyes, and if he can't stand my hair, that would upset me, lol.

 

Now, he HATES my Sperry's, but I say fuck that...I'm wearing them!

larrygaga

Senecaf said:

FI likes it strait but realizes he will rarely see it that way because ain't nobody got time fo that. He also told me after the Keratin treatment callmed it a bit he prefers my hair this way to its normal wild and craziness. It costs around $300 so again. Not happening often buddy. I don't think he would like it short but we've never discussed that. Thank goodness he loves me no matter how crazy my hair is!

So I know I told you once but I'll say it again, your hair is gorgeous. If you want to trade, I have waist length red hair that is kind of fine and bone straight. 

Chipmunk415

DH loves long hair, and cries when I cut mine (about shoulder length). But he understands that I need to maintain a professional appearance for work, and my hair is unmanageable when its long.

buttercup1958

V doesn't really mention his preferences that much. He said that one of the reasons he was attracted to me because of my "style". My hair cut looks like ginnifier goodwin in he's just not that into you but a little darker. So I have a short bob with curly hair. He has mention that he doesn't like long or straight hair so it works for me.

 He also loves the way I dress and how I do my makeup. He thinks I look classy and cute! He also doesn't like the idea of tattoos. He thinks their trashy ( Which I disagree with) but I rather spend the money on something else so I won't ever get one. But he has always told me I look amazing no matter.

alpacalunch

Yeah, he could pretty well not care less as long as I look presentable in public. He's mentioned that he wouldn't love it if I ever go blonde, because his mom is blonde "and that's just weird and Oedipus-y" Though I did surprise him once, as I got bangs and didn't tell him. His eyes got very wide and he got very handsy. Turns out he likes 'em.

PrettyGirlLost

FI just said, "If you don't whip your hur back and forth I will fucking divorce you."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U

PrettyGirlLost

I personally like Neil Young's cover better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9adAljIaKYc

anndee2020

My SO is so wishy-washy about what he thinks he likes. I'm currently rocking a really pretty red-auburn color but my natural color is blonde. The few times I've debated about switching back I get such mixed reviews from him lol. One day he's all for it and the next he's Doubting Debby. Same goes for bangs. I personally love my red hair, its just so much maintenance! (Hence the times I debate switching back lol)

The only thing I know for sure is he prefers long hair. Though when all is said and done if I were to chop my hair short, it might take him a few days to adjust to it, but he would love me anyway.

hellohkb

He makes suggestions like, "hey, you'd look great with ____ hairstyle/color/whatever" but he would never dictate how I do my hair. He loves crazy colors and cuts, and loved when I had bright colors in my hair. If I came home with hot pink hair tomorrow he'd die of happiness, but is fine with my hair when I leave it it's natural color (dark brown almost black) as well.

One of my best friends "is not allowed" to have the hair color she wants and I think it's bullshit. We went shopping together and saw a girl with adorable pastel color hair and commented that she wanted to have her hair like that, but her boyfriend wouldn't let her. WTF.

LadyMillil

wandajune6 said:

LadyMillil said:

wandajune6 said:

FI would never tell me what to do. However,  he does whimper when I say that I'm about to get a haircut.

DH does this too. He can never tell when I cut my hair so I find it funny that he makes such a big deal about it. He doesn't like short hair, and I look too man-ish with short hair, so I keep my hair long. He would like me to dye it, but I don't want to. I did try a red-brown temporary dye but it bothered my scalp so I haven't tried again. I really don't want to deal with the upkeep of dyed or highlighted hair, and DH doesn't think upkeep is important because he likes it when the roots are showing.

FI's the same way! he whimpers about me cutting my hair but doesn't notice if I haven't told him. I don't dye my hair but I suspect that he'd notice that.

SITB

Sometimes DH comes home and is like "weren't you getting your hair cut today" and I'm like, yes I did.

missdelilah

It's been so enjoyable reading this thread.  Thanks to everyone who's weighed in at this point.

[Deleted User]

In the time I've known my husband, I've had hair to my boobs, several bobs, and two pixie cuts. I've been black, platinum blonde, every shade of brunette and red I could get my hands on, and a few different shades of pink.

He has always been fine with whatever I wanted to do, but he really likes short hair. Color doesn't matter, pixies get him going.

beethery

late but somewhat relevant.

Bubblegum5586

As far as dislikes H has said numerous times he hates when women cut their hair short (short short) so I will likely stay away from that knowing his preference although he has never told me specifically not to.

As far as likes, he will comment when he likes something - hair down wavy or strait, side ponytail or side braid. So I try to do things I know he likes..

Sugargirl1019

DH whimpers when I mention going for a hair cut. I love love love my long hair and would never go shorter than my shoulders, but he gets so afraid that I'll come back with it uber short. Then he sees me and he says "I really like it. Good job." I've never dyed my hair as I'm a natural red, but I don't know if he would WANT me to dye me hair.

Confession time: I really prefer DHs hair short, and his facial hair trim. If he let's his hair get too long, it starts curling like an afro and I'm like no way it looks so messy. But the facial hair is the thing here.

He wanted to shave his face completely.. One day he did a couple of months ago, and apparently I had a look of utter disgust on my face. No lie, DH cried himself to sleep about how I looked at him, like I didn't find him attractive. I felt SO bad, I cried too. I didn't want him to think that I don't find him attractive, but I didn't realize my face shows so many emotions. We were a mess. I find him sexier with trim facial hair.. And when he shaves it off, I don't feel the desire to jump on him. I told him that part after the fact.. And he wore his facial hair perfect for the wedding - I almost took him down on the altar.

I mean, come on. 6'7 of lean muscle and watering eyes at seeing his bride walk down the aisle. Panties can't stay on for that!

l9i

Funny to see his convo today.  H has always known me with long hair.  The last time I drastically cut my hair (which was still at my shoulders) was about a year before we met.  I told him after the wedding I wanted to cut it to about my shoulders.  He got a little sad saying he'd miss my long hair but doesn't care.  Once I showed him what I wanted to do he took a breather and was relieved because he was picturing me with a pixie cut.  I can't do anything shorter than my shoulders lol... so no worries there. 

So guess what ladies... that time after the wedding is here!  I just was talking to H yesterday about this bc I finially scheduled an appointment to cut my hair this Saturday.  I am curious as to his reaction (as well as my own to be honest) but I really think all will be well.  Who knows, someone may find they find the new hair do all the more sexy

 

missdelilah

l9i said:

Funny to see his convo today.  H has always known me with long hair.  The last time I drastically cut my hair (which was still at my shoulders) was about a year before we met.  I told him after the wedding I wanted to cut it to about my shoulders.  He got a little sad saying he'd miss my long hair but doesn't care.  Once I showed him what I wanted to do he took a breather and was relieved because he was picturing me with a pixie cut.  I can't do anything shorter than my shoulders lol... so no worries there. 

So guess what ladies... that time after the wedding is here!  I just was talking to H yesterday about this bc I finially scheduled an appointment to cut my hair this Saturday.  I am curious as to his reaction (as well as my own to be honest) but I really think all will be well.  Who knows, someone may find they find the new hair do all the more sexy

 

I hope you love the results!

steph861

FI likes long hair, but he says he really doesn't care if I cut it. I still can't bring myself to do it.

l9i

missdelilah said:

l9i said:

Funny to see his convo today.  H has always known me with long hair.  The last time I drastically cut my hair (which was still at my shoulders) was about a year before we met.  I told him after the wedding I wanted to cut it to about my shoulders.  He got a little sad saying he'd miss my long hair but doesn't care.  Once I showed him what I wanted to do he took a breather and was relieved because he was picturing me with a pixie cut.  I can't do anything shorter than my shoulders lol... so no worries there. 

So guess what ladies... that time after the wedding is here!  I just was talking to H yesterday about this bc I finially scheduled an appointment to cut my hair this Saturday.  I am curious as to his reaction (as well as my own to be honest) but I really think all will be well.  Who knows, someone may find they find the new hair do all the more sexy

 

I hope you love the results!

Thanks!!  It's been awhile since it's been that short - I'm excited for a change

kns1988

Senecaf, you have GORGEOUS hair judging from your sig picture!

kns1988

FI would be really upset if I dyed my hair because he loves the natural color. He also loathes bangs, but I can't do that anyways because I have a cowlick in the front of my hair. It's disastrous when I try to have bangs. I gave up dying my hair 5 years ago because it was too much maintenance, and I don't miss it.

He would never "dictate" anything to me, but I understand that he has his preferences. I have my preferences, too. He started to put weight on over the winter and I told him I thought we could both get in better shape together.

Anything with your SO's appearance can be a touchy subject, but I think it's better to make your preferences known than to be silently bothered by something. FI and I talk about everything no matter how awkward it is.

missdelilah

kns1988 said:

FI would be really upset if I dyed my hair because he loves the natural color. He also loathes bangs, but I can't do that anyways because I have a cowlick in the front of my hair. It's disastrous when I try to have bangs. I gave up dying my hair 5 years ago because it was too much maintenance, and I don't miss it.

He would never "dictate" anything to me, but I understand that he has his preferences. I have my preferences, too. He started to put weight on over the winter and I told him I thought we could both get in better shape together.

Anything with your SO's appearance can be a touchy subject, but I think it's better to make your preferences known than to be silently bothered by something. FI and I talk about everything no matter how awkward it is.

You're absolutely right.  It's better to have these conversations than to let things dwell.  I'm so jealous.  I wish I could give up dying my hair, but dishwater blond isn't really a good look on anyone.