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Bridesmaid with Hot Pink Hair

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Re: Bridesmaid with Hot Pink Hair

  • SachaBeeSachaBee member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    Yeah, that's a fair opinion. 

    I feel like even if you do request something you should be okay with a bridesmaid saying "eh, that doesn't work for me." After all you are friends/family, it's okay to have a dialogue, right?

    ETA: I mean about reasonable things like I mentioned in my earlier post, not changing your entire look for one day.
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    I think when it gets to that point, they are more like your props than your friends & family.




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  • allisonelizallisoneliz member
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    edited September 2014
    SachaBee said:
    Is it okay if I ask what the parameters are for asking people for specific hair/makeup styles? I mean, what is considered rude, and what is considered generally reasonable? 

    Obviously asking someone to dye their hair is, well, refer to @sarahbear31's gif :)

    But I know a lot of brides say things like @allisoneliz's friend did. And I have heard that it is ungracious to require a SPECIFIC style without paying for the bridesmaids' hair/makeup. But is it okay to say, for instance, "wear your hair in ponytails" (if it's long enough) or "wear simple/natural makeup"? Just wondering. My sisters do their hair in pretty basic styles anyway and they are both allergic to most makeup.
    For what it's worth, in my case we all had to pay for our own (bride-dictated) hair. 

    I don't think I would have minded suggestions (i.e. a preference of 'up' instead of 'half up'), but everyone's hair is different and looks good styled in different ways. I know what styles look good on me. In this particular wedding, the bride asked another of the bridesmaids to have her original hairstyle altered because it came out looking too much like her own. It was more important to her that we all looked uniform (and that she looked "different"), than that we all felt comfortable individually. That, to me, was rude.
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  • Knottie74715184Knottie74715184 member
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    I think you should totally say something to her. The pink hair will definitely clash and she can't blame you if you want a traditional wedding. She can have pink hair for every day for the rest of her life your only asking her to change it for one day. Plus you never know what her answer will be until you ask (my suggestion ask after she's had a few drinks). The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Plus she has a long time to think about it since you wedding is in 2016 so she has lots of time to change her mind. My wedding is 9 months away and today I asked all my girls to stop cutting their hair and that I want them all to have blonde highlights for my big day...I've got a vision and it's my day so why not have what I want. I've started calling myself Hitler Bride as a joke and all my girls think it's hilarious and they have all agreed. Bottom line if you friends really know you and love you nothing you do or say is going to change that.
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  • Knottie16236414Knottie16236414 member
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    LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    Knottie74715184 said:

    I think you should totally say something to her. The pink hair will definitely clash and she can't blame you if you want a traditional wedding. She can have pink hair for every day for the rest of her life your only asking her to change it for one day. Plus you never know what her answer will be until you ask (my suggestion ask after she's had a few drinks). The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Plus she has a long time to think about it since you wedding is in 2016 so she has lots of time to change her mind. My wedding is 9 months away and today I asked all my girls to stop cutting their hair and that I want them all to have blonde highlights for my big day...I've got a vision and it's my day so why not have what I want. I've started calling myself Hitler Bride as a joke and all my girls think it's hilarious and they have all agreed. Bottom line if you friends really know you and love you nothing you do or say is going to change that.

    This MUST be a joke. Nobody is this big of an asshole. I had a bride ask me if I was considering growing my hair out for her wedding. The answer was no, and I was INCREDIBLY offended by this request.




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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
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    Knottie74715184 said:
    I think you should totally say something to her. The pink hair will definitely clash and she can't blame you if you want a traditional wedding. She can have pink hair for every day for the rest of her life your only asking her to change it for one day. Plus you never know what her answer will be until you ask (my suggestion ask after she's had a few drinks). The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Plus she has a long time to think about it since you wedding is in 2016 so she has lots of time to change her mind. My wedding is 9 months away and today I asked all my girls to stop cutting their hair and that I want them all to have blonde highlights for my big day...I've got a vision and it's my day so why not have what I want. I've started calling myself Hitler Bride as a joke and all my girls think it's hilarious and they have all agreed. Bottom line if you friends really know you and love you nothing you do or say is going to change that.
    You are outside of your mind. OUT.SIDE.OF.YOUR.MIND. I hope you're kidding. I honestly do.

    And pink hair is not something you just do away with. I had neon pink/blacklight glow pink hair for a year. You just don't get rid of it. If her bridesmaid has pink hair when she asks her, then her bridesmaid should have pink hair, if she wants, on the day of the wedding. Now, if the bridesmaid opens that door and says "What do you think about my hair? Do you think I should have it a "normal" color for the wedding? Would you like that?" By all means, share your feelings with her. But if that never happens. STFU. It's her hair. 

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  • Knottie34800248Knottie34800248 member
    First Comment
    I think I  have a different take than most of the responses I browsed. I do not think it is crazy to ask her what she thinks her hair will be like for the wedding. Tell her she mentioned she would not mind changing it to a more natural color and that she has been against dyeing it back. Do not tell her to change but ask  what she wants to do. If she asks your opinion tell her what you are thinking. 

    Since you asked her to be a bridesmaid with pink hair that is one thing but if she were to drastically change it right before the wedding that is a little crappy of a bridesmaid. 
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie74715184 said:
    I think you should totally say something to her. The pink hair will definitely clash and she can't blame you if you want a traditional wedding. She can have pink hair for every day for the rest of her life your only asking her to change it for one day. Plus you never know what her answer will be until you ask (my suggestion ask after she's had a few drinks). The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Plus she has a long time to think about it since you wedding is in 2016 so she has lots of time to change her mind. My wedding is 9 months away and today I asked all my girls to stop cutting their hair and that I want them all to have blonde highlights for my big day...I've got a vision and it's my day so why not have what I want. I've started calling myself Hitler Bride as a joke and all my girls think it's hilarious and they have all agreed. Bottom line if you friends really know you and love you nothing you do or say is going to change that.
    SERIOUSLY?! You just cannot possibly be this much of an asshole. I refuse to believe that this is real.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015

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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
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    edited September 2014
    Knottie74715184 said:
    I think you should totally say something to her. The pink hair will definitely clash and she can't blame you if you want a traditional wedding. She can have pink hair for every day for the rest of her life your only asking her to change it for one day. Plus you never know what her answer will be until you ask (my suggestion ask after she's had a few drinks). The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Plus she has a long time to think about it since you wedding is in 2016 so she has lots of time to change her mind. My wedding is 9 months away and today I asked all my girls to stop cutting their hair and that I want them all to have blonde highlights for my big day...I've got a vision and it's my day so why not have what I want. I've started calling myself Hitler Bride as a joke and all my girls think it's hilarious and they have all agreed. Bottom line if you friends really know you and love you nothing you do or say is going to change that.
    So I know you're just stirring up MUD, because no one in real life can be that obtuse.  So well done!

    But I'm still curious and awaiting an answer from @sobocinn (and maybe you can chime in too, Knottierandomnumbers!).   Where do we draw the line?  

    I have a tragus piercing, should I have asked all my BMs to get the same?  (And don't give me the, "oh well that's permanent!" line, because you can take it out and it'll heal up).  

    I have a scar on my shoulder from where some shitboggle knifed me, do I have to cover that up with makeup to be in a wedding (because I sure as hell don't in everyday life)?




    I'm honestly asking.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    Knottie74715184 said:
    I think you should totally say something to her. The pink hair will definitely clash and she can't blame you if you want a traditional wedding. She can have pink hair for every day for the rest of her life your only asking her to change it for one day. Plus you never know what her answer will be until you ask (my suggestion ask after she's had a few drinks). The worst that can happen is that she will say no. Plus she has a long time to think about it since you wedding is in 2016 so she has lots of time to change her mind. My wedding is 9 months away and today I asked all my girls to stop cutting their hair and that I want them all to have blonde highlights for my big day...I've got a vision and it's my day so why not have what I want. I've started calling myself Hitler Bride as a joke and all my girls think it's hilarious and they have all agreed. Bottom line if you friends really know you and love you nothing you do or say is going to change that.

    This is either MUD or you're a jerk. Or both.
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  • nicole4793nicole4793 member
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    edited September 2014
    slothiegal for being one of those people that disagrees with my opinion, but can KINDLY and APPROPRIATELY discuss it without being a rude, ignorant, snot. I seriously mean it when I say thank you because some people on here are pretty horrible. 

    So @slothiegal, I'm not saying that I would demand the bridesmaid change her hair color. All I would do is ask her to tone it down a tad. As for the example I used with my friend that is gay, I would just ask him to tone down his makeup. If the person doesn't want to make a slight modification, that's fine. If my friend shows up with his typical gold eyeliner, whatever. It's not going to ruin the day. I have my tragus pierced and a few other piercings, but I would not ask my bridesmaids to take out piercings, add piercings, cover up tattoos or scars, cut/grow their hair, etc.. I definitely see where you're going with this, and I guess it all comes down to personal opinion. The only thing I would ever have an issue with is a bright, vibrant color for hair, but only if they did that after I asked them to be my bridesmaid. If I go into it knowing that they have bright hair, that's my own fault for asking the girl and then hinting at making it less bright.

    For all the other ladies that are rude and totally snobby, do you need a refresher on how to speak to people on the internet....? I feel like a lot of you sit behind your keyboard feeling free to pick apart people's OPINIONS and use obscene language because you're anonymous. You're pathetically ripping people apart because you don't have to face them. My opinion is my opinion. If you don't like it, MOVE ON!!! The bride on here was asking for advice, not to be ripped apart by a bunch of snarky, rude, close minded brides that cannot accept opinions of others that differ from there own. Feel free to call us close minded because we don't want bright hot pink hair in our weddings, but you're close minded as well because you can't accept someone else's opinion. I never said I have an issue with hot pink hair, I personally just wouldn't want someone with that color hair in my wedding. I wouldn't ask them in the first place, and my sisters don't plan on dying their hair vibrant colors so this isn't an issue for me.

    The examples of cut all of your hair off and get crazy facial piercings were so far off and irrelevant, that it makes me laugh. Oy vey, why do I even bother on bridal sites when so many of you just want to pick a fight (rhetorical question, of course). Seriously, some ladies on here (myself included) need to just calm down!! 

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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    sobocinn said:
    slothiegal for being one of those people that disagrees with my opinion, but can KINDLY and APPROPRIATELY discuss it without being a rude, ignorant, snot. I seriously mean it when I say thank you because some people on here are pretty horrible. 

    So @slothiegal, I'm not saying that I would demand the bridesmaid change her hair color. All I would do is ask her to tone it down a tad. As for the example I used with my friend that is gay, I would just ask him to tone down his makeup. If the person doesn't want to make a slight modification, that's fine. If my friend shows up with his typical gold eyeliner, whatever. It's not going to ruin the day. I have my tragus pierced and a few other piercings, but I would not ask my bridesmaids to take out piercings, add piercings, cover up tattoos or scars, cut/grow their hair, etc.. I definitely see where you're going with this, and I guess it all comes down to personal opinion. The only thing I would ever have an issue with is a bright, vibrant color for hair, but only if they did that after I asked them to be my bridesmaid. If I go into it knowing that they have bright hair, that's my own fault for asking the girl and then hinting at making it less bright.

    For all the other ladies that are rude and totally snobby, do you need a refresher on how to speak to people on the internet....? I feel like a lot of you sit behind your keyboard feeling free to pick apart people's OPINIONS and use obscene language because you're anonymous. You're pathetically ripping people apart because you don't have to face them. My opinion is my opinion. If you don't like it, MOVE ON!!! The bride on here was asking for advice, not to be ripped apart by a bunch of snarky, rude, close minded brides that cannot accept opinions of others that differ from there own. Feel free to call us close minded because we don't want bright hot pink hair in our weddings, but you're close minded as well because you can't accept someone else's opinion. I never said I have an issue with hot pink hair, I personally just wouldn't want someone with that color hair in my wedding. I wouldn't ask them in the first place, and my sisters don't plan on dying their hair vibrant colors so this isn't an issue for me.

    The examples of cut all of your hair off and get crazy facial piercings were so far off and irrelevant, that it makes me laugh. Oy vey, why do I even bother on bridal sites when so many of you just want to pick a fight (rhetorical question, of course). Seriously, some ladies on here (myself included) need to just calm down!! 
    Hey, I'm the one who accepts my friends and family as they are - funky makeup, weird hair color, etc.  If you think that's rude, then you have a weird opinion of manners.

    sobocinn.  Let's say your BFF has a bright pink hairdo.  Would you not ask her to be in your wedding just because of that?




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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    sobocinn said:
    I'm not saying that I would demand the bridesmaid change her hair color. All I would do is ask her to tone it down a tad. 

    As for the example I used with my friend that is gay, I would just ask him to tone down his makeup.

    I never said I have an issue with hot pink hair, I personally just wouldn't want someone with that color hair in my wedding.
    Even though I think the rest of your post was a little nutty, I've quoted 3 particularly nutty things. 

    1) Asking her to "tone it down" IS asking her to change it. 
    2) Asking your friend (regardless of his/her sexuality) to wear less/more/any make up is ridiculous.
    3) If your BFF had hot pink hair, you would exclude her from your WP because of her hair? Some friend...

    I never understand this desire to control people so much. I was so busy and happy on my wedding day that there could have been a clown in the crowd and I wouldn't have noticed or cared.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • nicole4793nicole4793 member
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    edited September 2014
    @MagicInk Okay, my apologies. My friend wears vibrant and wild colors that I've never seen worn before in my life. I'm very sorry I offended you, and I truly mean that. I should've known better than to mention that twice because it's no reason to differentiate whether he's a friend or has a different sexuality. That was very inconsiderate on my part. I think it's really great that you put pink streaks in your hair for breast cancer awareness. 

    @mrsmagicgeek When I said not changing them, I meant as in personality wise. I would never want to take away something that makes someone feel like their identity is taken away. I should've made that more clear!

    @pinkrevenge I don't think I'm superior to anyone, but you can go ahead and keep assuming things of me when you truly have no clue who I am. I think it's ridiculous that I'm being attacked for my personal opinion, and it makes me sad that there are people out there in this world that can't say"I don't agree with your opinion, nor do I like it... But at the end of the day, it has no effect on me so let's agree to disagree."  I also find it sad and pathetic that people can't express themselves in a post without using appropriate language. But hey, I guess people feel free to freak out and curse on whoever they want from behind a keyboard... I guess I'm just used to socializing with people in professional settings where we need to respect and speak to each other like adults. To me, hair cuts, piercing, etc. are irrelevant because I don't care if my sister gets a tattoo on her face, one of those monroe piercings, etc before my wedding. She can gain 100 lbs and get a pixie cut for all I care. I am just not a fan of hot pink hair in my wedding photos so that is something that is relevant to me. Maybe all the things you mentioned are relevant to you if it's stuff that you care about for your wedding. I never said I dislike people with different colored hair. I just personally wouldn't want someone in my bridal party to decide they want lime green hair or something after I've asked them to be in my wedding. To each his own. I respect your opinion and style.


    I would never TELL someone to change. I would politely ask to tone stuff down. If someone says no then so what....? It's not the end of the world. If you asked someone to be in your bridal party after they chose a vibrant hair color, huge tattoo, etc., then you knew going into it that they have that kind of style, then you just need to deal with it. Streaks are one thing, but a whole head of hair a more daring color is another (in my opinion.......)The bride said before that she talked to her friend about dying her hair, and the woman was all for it....But now all of a sudden, she isn't. I would have more of an issue with the friend going back on her word than the hair color. I guess that last sentence will be attacked now too. 

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