Greetings fellow knotties!
I've found a lot of negative feedback on the boards here concerning brides looking to have a 'real' wedding, or a 'formal' wedding, or a 'public' wedding after a small ceremony, or a JOP quicky down at the local or eloped-to courthouse, for whatever (legitimate or illegitimate) reason.
Recently, (after the normal many many months of planning) we had our 'real' wedding celebration, after having signed the papers about 10 months prior. I had a white dress, we exchanged rings, we had cake, and I changed my name, and we had a party. We invited our family and friends, who, again, all knew that we had been legally married and very much looking forward to our wedding day. We made a registry but didn't advertise it, and weren't making a point of asking for gifts/money. We just wanted to celebrate with friends and family. Between speaking with people directly, and hearing lots and lots of secondhand talk, we had no miffed guests, no one who felt deceived, and for the most part, everyone enjoyed the party. (I had two much younger cousins that knew no one aside from each other, and were apparently bored out of their minds, but hey, can't please everyone!)
Our personal circumstances were military-related; we did not NEED to get legally married but it was going to make things a LOT easier on us. We signed the papers at his church with our parents and his pastor and told our friends and extended family- it was no secret.
I'm more than a little troubled that having a large celebration later is so looked-down upon. No, it might not be for everybody, and there are probably folks out there who will want to have another wedding celebration in order to secure more tangible gifts. Having a delayed celebration is not innately a negative thing, so please be open to why brides (and their grooms) might be choosing such an arrangement. If you vehemently disagree that a small-then-large arrangement is at all acceptable, please don't insult other brides potentially going through a rough time already of dealing with this abnormal situation. It might not have been their first choice. Brides choosing to make this choice, I DON'T think it's ideal, and please make sure you're taking everything into consideration, and look at your options carefully.
Thank you to the lovely folks here that helped me plan our wedding celebration. We had a supremely fantastic day with food and family and friends and all that good stuff!