Chit Chat

Let's talk about boudoir shoots

1235

Re: Let's talk about boudoir shoots


  • CMGragain said:




    CMGragain said:

    I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce.  She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office.
    I really don't think those pictures are a good idea.  You never know what the future will bring.  Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!

    That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.

    This is exactly my point!  If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry.   Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags.  Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.



    Anyone who thinks I should be ashamed if pictures like that get out can suck whatever part of me is most offensive to them.
    And I'm not going let anyone blame me if my husband was that kind of a monster. If he really did come and post my photos all over his office, the joke would be on him since that's considered revenge porn, which is a felony in this area.
    And then I'd go after my work for allowing my ex husband access to my office. Clearly they need some damn safety training if they'll let people's ex's have free access to their work space.

    What I wouldn't do, for even one second, is cower and act like I did anything wrong, because I didn't. I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.


    Yes yes yes!!!!!! I'm on mobile and can't gif but imagine an I love you lets high five style gif here.

  • CMGragain said:
    CMGragain said:
    I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce.  She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office.
    I really don't think those pictures are a good idea.  You never know what the future will bring.  Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
    That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
    This is exactly my point!  If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry.   Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags.  Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not idoing something that is potentially risky is wise.
    It's not just men that turn into dickbags. It's amazing how people change during a divorce. DH's ex was desperate to marry him and have his kids. Then, during the divorce, she threatened to kill him in his sleep. She left him, BTW, for another man. He couldn't go back to his house without the police for his protection. So, yeah, not just men. Women are just as much of assholes. 

    The divorce rate sucks. I'm a part of that statistic. I personally would not let the divorce rate effect how I interact with my husband. i also wouldn't do something that I would fear someone may use against me later on. Boudoir photos do not fall into that category, but nude photos do for me.However, that's just ME and it has nothing to do with divorce. I also agree with others that if my DH were to use those photos against me, it reflects poorly on him, not me. 

     







  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    CMGragain said: lolo883 said: CMGragain said: I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce.  She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office.
    I really don't think those pictures are a good idea.  You never know what the future will bring.  Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
    That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag. This is exactly my point!  If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry.   Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags.  Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
    ---------------------------

    This is
    literally the worst advice I have ever heard.

    Anniversary

    image
  • Well, you could turn it around and think that if the pics go viral, you'll be the next Kim Kardashian (but with way more class and with out Kanye).
    Happiness is an inside job
  • image

    Oh, daaaaaamn, @amelisha too. 

    I'm seriously reconsidering my "maybe" to a "probably" re: boudoir photos. I just don't want to spend the money. We'll see.
  • @amelisha you look fantastic!‌ thank you for sharing!

    image   image   image

  • So, all I have gotten from this thread is
    1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.)
    2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    I never said there was anything immoral or shameful about boudoir photos.  I said they were risky.  I wouldn't want my daughter to do them.  (She agrees with me.) 
    When I was married 38 years ago, I went into the marriage thinking that divorce was a possibility.  I also was determined that I would give 100% of myself to make the marriage work.  38 years later, we are happily married, but almost all of my relatives have been divorced, some multiple times.  They were all so sure that it would be forever!
    There are a few precautions that we both took.  Pre-nup.  (His family.)  Everything is in both our names until very recently, when I opened a joint stock account with my two adult children.  That means real property, bank accounts, stock portfolios, credit cards.  Last will and testament (We need to redo this.) gives most property to DH, but reserves my jewelry for my daughter.  (Darned if his next wife is going to wear my pearls!)  Along with these precautions, I declined to do any suggestive photos. Even though I was not as unlucky as my friend, I'm still glad I don't have to worry about those.
    Some of you need to back off.  Being careful doesn't mean mistrust.  It is simply practical.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • esstee33 said:

    I'm seriously reconsidering my "maybe" to a "probably" re: boudoir photos. I just don't want to spend the money. We'll see.
    This gal over here is another convert!! Just don't know when, where, or [yet] how. Thanks ladies! It didn't occur to me that they could be tastefully done. Yours are gorgeous. 

    Any suggestions about finding a photographer? What kinds of things did you ask to find out whether they were legit and whether your personalities matched up? For those of you living together, how did you recieve or pick up the images without SO finding out? Sending them to work would not be an option for me. Were any of your SOs jealous of said photographer? I'd like it to be a surprise, but I'm not sure if that's something to be concerned about.

    Then happy I, that love and am beloved 
    Where I may not remove nor be removed.

     --William Shakespeare (Sonnet 25)

  • I know that groupon has specials occasionally...a highly recommended boudoir photographer recently put one up. I may, or may not have bought one.
  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited October 2014


    esstee33 said:


    I'm seriously reconsidering my "maybe" to a "probably" re: boudoir photos. I just don't want to spend the money. We'll see.

    This gal over here is another convert!! Just don't know when, where, or [yet] how. Thanks ladies! It didn't occur to me that they could be tastefully done. Yours are gorgeous. 

    Any suggestions about finding a photographer? What kinds of things did you ask to find out whether they were legit and whether your personalities matched up? For those of you living together, how did you recieve or pick up the images without SO finding out? Sending them to work would not be an option for me. Were any of your SOs jealous of said photographer? I'd like it to be a surprise, but I'm not sure if that's something to be concerned about.

    SITB------------------------

    Honestly I just googled “boudoir photography city" and looked at their portfolios and prices to see if it aligned with my interests. I found a wonderful girl just a few years older than me to do mine. She does have 5 or 6 pictures of me up on her website for model release, but I totally don't mind.

    ETA: no my DH was not concerned about my photographer seeing me because it was a girl. I made appointments while DH was at work or school to hide it all, and the album was shipped to my mothers house with instructions to not open haha.

    image   image   image

  • I feel like these kind of pictures would be fun and uplifting just for me, kind of like that show, How to Look Good Naked.  Maybe one day :)
    image
  • I have my pictures saved on my phone now, I'm sending one every so often to DH while he's gone from me to remind him what he's missing. ;)

    image   image   image

  • Thanks to everyone who shared their photos and their experiences. It's nice to see some every day girls photos vs all those models on pinterest.

    If you did these as a wedding gift, how far in advance did you do them?
    image Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • CMGragain said:
    I never said there was anything immoral or shameful about boudoir photos.  I said they were risky.  I wouldn't want my daughter to do them.  (She agrees with me.) 
    When I was married 38 years ago, I went into the marriage thinking that divorce was a possibility.  I also was determined that I would give 100% of myself to make the marriage work.  38 years later, we are happily married, but almost all of my relatives have been divorced, some multiple times.  They were all so sure that it would be forever!
    There are a few precautions that we both took.  Pre-nup.  (His family.)  Everything is in both our names until very recently, when I opened a joint stock account with my two adult children.  That means real property, bank accounts, stock portfolios, credit cards.  Last will and testament (We need to redo this.) gives most property to DH, but reserves my jewelry for my daughter.  (Darned if his next wife is going to wear my pearls!)  Along with these precautions, I declined to do any suggestive photos. Even though I was not as unlucky as my friend, I'm still glad I don't have to worry about those.
    Some of you need to back off.  Being careful doesn't mean mistrust.  It is simply practical.
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

  • There is nothing wrong with being uneasy about doing boudoir shots or just not wanting to do them at all. For whatever your reasons may be. It's a very personal thing and not everyone is going to be comfortable with it. I personally would not tell someone NOT to do them because of fear of retaliation or fear of them leaking. However, if someone chooses to not do them for those reasons, whether right or wrong, it's their decision. It took me a VERY long time to even consider doing something like that partly because of what we do for a living but also because I am just not comfortable in lingerie. Never have been. I may reconsider doing them after I recover, but my illness has certainly set my confidence back a great deal. I would not talk someone out of doing it because of my personal insecurities, but I wouldn't hold back on why I would not do them either.

     







  • edited June 2015
  • edited June 2015
  • Inkdancer said:
    So, all I have gotten from this thread is
    1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.)
    2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
    ALWAYS SAY YES TO THE LES PAUL. Boxers/briefs/boxerbriefs/speedo optional.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    image

  • Inkdancer said:
    So, all I have gotten from this thread is
    1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.)
    2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
    Boxer briefs? You're telling me there's underwear involved?
    I'm just saying his ass looks mighty fine in some grey boxer briefs. A picture without them would be quite alright by me, though..
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards