I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
And you run the risk of pissing people off with everything you post. I'm seeing a connection.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
Well shit, if you don't get married you'll never have to worry about divorce either. Is that the advice you're going to start trotting out next? Better yet - just never date at all. Don't leave the house. Never take risks. Bad things will be less likely to happen to you then.
This actually is good advice for you - if you stop giving horrible, offensive "advice," you won't need to worry about pissing off the entire internet.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
I just really don't agree with this. Like, AT ALL. Not doing something that is potentially risky can certainly mean not taking boudoir shots, but it can also mean not even getting up out of the bed. LIFE is risky. You cannot choose not to do something because it's "risky" in a far-off, theoretical way. That is no way to live.
Things that are potentially risky: Meeting someone online, meeting that person without backup in a Burger King, going back to his house to talk movies (and do NOTHING INTERESTING).
If I had not done those things - even though I was well aware that there was (real, serious, frightening) risk involved - I would not have FI. Because I met FI online, met him at BK about three weeks later, and then we went back to his house and admired his movie collection (which I packed in July and OMG the boy has so damn many movies). Risk has its rewards.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
Well shit, if you don't get married you'll never have to worry about divorce either. Is that the advice you're going to start trotting out next? Better yet - just never date at all. Don't leave the house. Never take risks. Bad things will be less likely to happen to you then.
This actually is good advice for you - if you stop giving horrible, offensive "advice," you won't need to worry about pissing off the entire internet.
*SITB*
Right? My chances of a car accident go way down if I stop driving, too, so I better just not risk it. Actually, I should probably just live in constant fear of any and every possible thing that could happen to me.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
Oh victim blaming! I mean if that girl didn't wear a short skirt men wouldn't cat call her on the street. If you don't go out at night and drink you wouldn't have gotten raped.
I'm not gonna be ashamed of being a sexual being. If FI and I split up and she posts naked pictures of me all over my office she's the piece of shit not me. I did something for the woman I loved. And she made that dirty and bad. Not me. I did nothing wrong and I won't be shamed for it. Because my body and my sexuality is not shameful.
I feel really bad for you friend. Her ex posts revenge porn and her so called friend blames her for it. That's some fucked up shit.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
Anyone who thinks I should be ashamed if pictures like that get out can suck whatever part of me is most offensive to them. And I'm not going let anyone blame me if my husband was that kind of a monster. If he really did come and post my photos all over his office, the joke would be on him since that's considered revenge porn, which is a felony in this area. And then I'd go after my work for allowing my ex husband access to my office. Clearly they need some damn safety training if they'll let people's ex's have free access to their work space.
What I wouldn't do, for even one second, is cower and act like I did anything wrong, because I didn't. I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
Yes yes yes!!!!!! I'm on mobile and can't gif but imagine an I love you lets high five style gif here.
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not idoing something that is potentially risky is wise.
It's not just men that turn into dickbags. It's amazing how people change during a divorce. DH's ex was desperate to marry him and have his kids. Then, during the divorce, she threatened to kill him in his sleep. She left him, BTW, for another man. He couldn't go back to his house without the police for his protection. So, yeah, not just men. Women are just as much of assholes.
The divorce rate sucks. I'm a part of that statistic. I personally would not let the divorce rate effect how I interact with my husband. i also wouldn't do something that I would fear someone may use against me later on. Boudoir photos do not fall into that category, but nude photos do for me.However, that's just ME and it has nothing to do with divorce. I also agree with others that if my DH were to use those photos against me, it reflects poorly on him, not me.
CMGragain said:
lolo883 said:
CMGragain said:
I had a dear friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She arrived at her office one day to find that her soon-to-be-ex had taped her boudoir photos all over the office. I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag.
This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise. ---------------------------
This is literally the worst advice I have ever heard.
So, all I have gotten from this thread is 1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.) 2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
I never said there was anything immoral or shameful about boudoir photos. I said they were risky. I wouldn't want my daughter to do them. (She agrees with me.) When I was married 38 years ago, I went into the marriage thinking that divorce was a possibility. I also was determined that I would give 100% of myself to make the marriage work. 38 years later, we are happily married, but almost all of my relatives have been divorced, some multiple times. They were all so sure that it would be forever! There are a few precautions that we both took. Pre-nup. (His family.) Everything is in both our names until very recently, when I opened a joint stock account with my two adult children. That means real property, bank accounts, stock portfolios, credit cards. Last will and testament (We need to redo this.) gives most property to DH, but reserves my jewelry for my daughter. (Darned if his next wife is going to wear my pearls!) Along with these precautions, I declined to do any suggestive photos. Even though I was not as unlucky as my friend, I'm still glad I don't have to worry about those. Some of you need to back off. Being careful doesn't mean mistrust. It is simply practical.
I'm seriously reconsidering my "maybe" to a "probably" re: boudoir photos. I just don't want to spend the money. We'll see.
This gal over here is another convert!! Just don't know when, where, or [yet] how. Thanks ladies! It didn't occur to me that they could be tastefully done. Yours are gorgeous.
Any suggestions about finding a photographer? What kinds of things did you ask to find out whether they were legit and whether your personalities matched up? For those of you living together, how did you recieve or pick up the images without SO finding out? Sending them to work would not be an option for me. Were any of your SOs jealous of said photographer? I'd like it to be a surprise, but I'm not sure if that's something to be concerned about.
I'm seriously reconsidering my "maybe" to a "probably" re: boudoir photos. I just don't want to spend the money. We'll see.
This gal over here is another convert!! Just don't know when, where, or [yet] how. Thanks ladies! It didn't occur to me that they could be tastefully done. Yours are gorgeous.
Any suggestions about finding a photographer? What kinds of things did you ask to find out whether they were legit and whether your personalities matched up? For those of you living together, how did you recieve or pick up the images without SO finding out? Sending them to work would not be an option for me. Were any of your SOs jealous of said photographer? I'd like it to be a surprise, but I'm not sure if that's something to be concerned about.
SITB------------------------
Honestly I just googled “boudoir photography city" and looked at their portfolios and prices to see if it aligned with my interests. I found a wonderful girl just a few years older than me to do mine. She does have 5 or 6 pictures of me up on her website for model release, but I totally don't mind.
ETA: no my DH was not concerned about my photographer seeing me because it was a girl. I made appointments while DH was at work or school to hide it all, and the album was shipped to my mothers house with instructions to not open haha.
I did mine through a Groupon and made sure it was a female photographer. Not that males can't be professional, but I was more comfortable and I knew H would be more comfortable that a female was behind the camera. He loved his pictures. He can't wait to have his man cave so he can hang them up. I'm going to do more once I get back in shape. I'm not particularly worried about them getting out because not only am I decently clothed (by beach standards anyway) but among our friends are many pinup and fetish models who post their photos all over the internet, so mine are tame by comparison, they would hardly be scandalous. So even if H did plaster them all over, it would be very ho-hum.
I also do not agree that life is best lived cautiously. It was risky to meet a man I met on the internet. It was risky for a type A Christian to marry a Pagan with ADHD and financial problems. It's risky to go backpacking through Europe at 18 with only one 19 year old female friend with you. It was risky for my parents to send 12 year old me to New Zealand and Fiji for 3 weeks without them. Best decisions ever. Obviously if you have a job where underoo photos could ruin you, maybe don't risk it. But if not, have at it. It was very empowering for me, and made me feel sexy and desirable at a time I really had trouble with that. I did it as much for me as for H, and if he didn't want to keep those bad boys for himself, I'd have a few posted in the house. Several of my friends do and I love them.
I never said there was anything immoral or shameful about boudoir photos. I said they were risky. I wouldn't want my daughter to do them. (She agrees with me.) When I was married 38 years ago, I went into the marriage thinking that divorce was a possibility. I also was determined that I would give 100% of myself to make the marriage work. 38 years later, we are happily married, but almost all of my relatives have been divorced, some multiple times. They were all so sure that it would be forever! There are a few precautions that we both took. Pre-nup. (His family.) Everything is in both our names until very recently, when I opened a joint stock account with my two adult children. That means real property, bank accounts, stock portfolios, credit cards. Last will and testament (We need to redo this.) gives most property to DH, but reserves my jewelry for my daughter. (Darned if his next wife is going to wear my pearls!) Along with these precautions, I declined to do any suggestive photos. Even though I was not as unlucky as my friend, I'm still glad I don't have to worry about those. Some of you need to back off. Being careful doesn't mean mistrust. It is simply practical.
There is nothing wrong with being uneasy about doing boudoir shots or just not wanting to do them at all. For whatever your reasons may be. It's a very personal thing and not everyone is going to be comfortable with it. I personally would not tell someone NOT to do them because of fear of retaliation or fear of them leaking. However, if someone chooses to not do them for those reasons, whether right or wrong, it's their decision.
It took me a VERY long time to even consider doing something like that partly because of what we do for a living but also because I am just not comfortable in lingerie. Never have been. I may reconsider doing them after I recover, but my illness has certainly set my confidence back a great deal. I would not talk someone out of doing it because of my personal insecurities, but I wouldn't hold back on why I would not do them either.
So, all I have gotten from this thread is 1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.) 2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
ALWAYS SAY YES TO THE LES PAUL. Boxers/briefs/boxerbriefs/speedo optional.
So, all I have gotten from this thread is 1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.) 2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
Boxer briefs? You're telling me there's underwear involved?
I'm just saying his ass looks mighty fine in some grey boxer briefs. A picture without them would be quite alright by me, though..
Re: Let's talk about boudoir shoots
I'm the fuck out.
Let me rephrase your expert advice
"Don't trust the person you marry"
"Go into a marriage expecting a divorce"
Well shit, if you don't get married you'll never have to worry about divorce either. Is that the advice you're going to start trotting out next? Better yet - just never date at all. Don't leave the house. Never take risks. Bad things will be less likely to happen to you then.
This actually is good advice for you - if you stop giving horrible, offensive "advice," you won't need to worry about pissing off the entire internet.
Oh victim blaming! I mean if that girl didn't wear a short skirt men wouldn't cat call her on the street. If you don't go out at night and drink you wouldn't have gotten raped.
I'm not gonna be ashamed of being a sexual being. If FI and I split up and she posts naked pictures of me all over my office she's the piece of shit not me. I did something for the woman I loved. And she made that dirty and bad. Not me. I did nothing wrong and I won't be shamed for it. Because my body and my sexuality is not shameful.
I feel really bad for you friend. Her ex posts revenge porn and her so called friend blames her for it. That's some fucked up shit.
Anyone who thinks I should be ashamed if pictures like that get out can suck whatever part of me is most offensive to them.
And I'm not going let anyone blame me if my husband was that kind of a monster. If he really did come and post my photos all over his office, the joke would be on him since that's considered revenge porn, which is a felony in this area.
And then I'd go after my work for allowing my ex husband access to my office. Clearly they need some damn safety training if they'll let people's ex's have free access to their work space.
What I wouldn't do, for even one second, is cower and act like I did anything wrong, because I didn't. I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
Yes yes yes!!!!!! I'm on mobile and can't gif but imagine an I love you lets high five style gif here.
I really don't think those pictures are a good idea. You never know what the future will bring. Also, I'm pretty sure that my DH's memory is more flattering than my body actually was!
That's a pretty ridiculous thing to plan ahead for. If we can't trust our spouses then what's the point of even being together? He could just as easily have taken naked pictures of her sleeping or in the shower if he wanted to be an unmitigated dickbag. This is exactly my point! If you don't do the pictures, you won't need to worry. Divorce rate is near 50% in the USA, and many of those men turn out to be dickbags. Even if you are certain that you won't be one of these couples, the future brings surprises, and not doing something that is potentially risky is wise.
---------------------------
This is literally the worst advice I have ever heard.
ETA: I'm even 20 pounds heavier in this photos than I am now and I'm STILL posting them just to say I don't think I should be ashamed of them.
1. Knotties are hot. (Like, damn. Y'all girls look GOOD.)
2. My hubs needs to do a shoot in boxer briefs, posing with his Les Paul.
When I was married 38 years ago, I went into the marriage thinking that divorce was a possibility. I also was determined that I would give 100% of myself to make the marriage work. 38 years later, we are happily married, but almost all of my relatives have been divorced, some multiple times. They were all so sure that it would be forever!
There are a few precautions that we both took. Pre-nup. (His family.) Everything is in both our names until very recently, when I opened a joint stock account with my two adult children. That means real property, bank accounts, stock portfolios, credit cards. Last will and testament (We need to redo this.) gives most property to DH, but reserves my jewelry for my daughter. (Darned if his next wife is going to wear my pearls!) Along with these precautions, I declined to do any suggestive photos. Even though I was not as unlucky as my friend, I'm still glad I don't have to worry about those.
Some of you need to back off. Being careful doesn't mean mistrust. It is simply practical.
I'm the fuck out.
Any suggestions about finding a photographer? What kinds of things did you ask to find out whether they were legit and whether your personalities matched up? For those of you living together, how did you recieve or pick up the images without SO finding out? Sending them to work would not be an option for me. Were any of your SOs jealous of said photographer? I'd like it to be a surprise, but I'm not sure if that's something to be concerned about.
--William Shakespeare (Sonnet 25)
Any suggestions about finding a photographer? What kinds of things did you ask to find out whether they were legit and whether your personalities matched up? For those of you living together, how did you recieve or pick up the images without SO finding out? Sending them to work would not be an option for me. Were any of your SOs jealous of said photographer? I'd like it to be a surprise, but I'm not sure if that's something to be concerned about.
SITB------------------------
Honestly I just googled “boudoir photography city" and looked at their portfolios and prices to see if it aligned with my interests. I found a wonderful girl just a few years older than me to do mine. She does have 5 or 6 pictures of me up on her website for model release, but I totally don't mind.
ETA: no my DH was not concerned about my photographer seeing me because it was a girl. I made appointments while DH was at work or school to hide it all, and the album was shipped to my mothers house with instructions to not open haha.
I also do not agree that life is best lived cautiously. It was risky to meet a man I met on the internet. It was risky for a type A Christian to marry a Pagan with ADHD and financial problems. It's risky to go backpacking through Europe at 18 with only one 19 year old female friend with you. It was risky for my parents to send 12 year old me to New Zealand and Fiji for 3 weeks without them. Best decisions ever. Obviously if you have a job where underoo photos could ruin you, maybe don't risk it. But if not, have at it. It was very empowering for me, and made me feel sexy and desirable at a time I really had trouble with that. I did it as much for me as for H, and if he didn't want to keep those bad boys for himself, I'd have a few posted in the house. Several of my friends do and I love them.
If you did these as a wedding gift, how far in advance did you do them?