Registry Concerns

ohannabelle

mbl15 said:

Personally, if I saw a registry with a request for cash rather than physical gifts, I would think "oh, that was nice and clear" and get some cash, a card, and probably something really small that I think they'd enjoy like a candle, bottle of wine, or a gift card to a favorite eatery. I would think it was unconventional but not rude.

I know our house has more than we could ever want or need--we simply do not really get that much enjoyment from material items. We would prefer to keep our cheap dishes and faded towels and go away somewhere for an experience instead.

That being said-- word of mouth is likely still a better method. I know not everyone shares my beliefs, as is clear from prior posts, so it could potentially avoid an unnecessary conflict.

Final thought--Emily Post would likely not approve of how some members choose to express their advice and I believe it is valid to avoid any responses that are written in a hostile manner on a board for etiquette. Yes, this is the internet, but it does not mean this board cannot be civil.

I think it's hilarious that someone can approve of the crass and graceless act of asking their friends for money, and express such disapproval of language. I would much rather be told not to behave like a damned asshat than to risk behaving like one. 

beethery

Have I told you lately that I fucking love you guys? Because I fucking love you guys.

@addiecake @ohannabelle @slothiegal et al. Most of you are fucking rad.

AddieCake

I love you, too, you fucking lady.

slothiegal

beethery said:

Have I told you lately that I fucking love you guys? Because I fucking love you guys.

@addiecake @ohannabelle @slothiegal et al. Most of you are fucking rad.

OH YOU.  I fucking love you too--

artbyallie

I like to think Miss Manners would approve of us. She may not swear, but she can be pretty damn snarky herself at times.

Jen4948

I fucking love you guys too.  It just wouldn't be the fucking same without you.

beethery

How to etiquette (by god, via Moses played by Charlton Heston):

beethery

cambryn said:

And to address the rest of your nonsense, I, and whomever else feels the need, shall use curse words exactly however much we deem necessary, and you can feel free to get the fuck over it.

Never said I minded- just thought it was ironic that the etiquette police are definitely not filled with it on these boards. Curse as much as you like and be as dismissive as you like- I never cared.  

Darling, you are certainly full of something.

CaitlinB53015

Think about an Amazon registry! You could add other things y'all might want - movies, board games, tools, just about anything. Then guests have an option to get you a physical gift.

slothiegal

beethery said:

cambryn said:

And to address the rest of your nonsense, I, and whomever else feels the need, shall use curse words exactly however much we deem necessary, and you can feel free to get the fuck over it.

Never said I minded- just thought it was ironic that the etiquette police are definitely not filled with it on these boards. Curse as much as you like and be as dismissive as you like- I never cared.  

Darling, you are certainly full of something.

See, I just don't get what's so hard to understand (as to the bolded).  H and I hosted a beautiful wedding.  My guests were all treated wonderfully, they never had to open their wallets, I've gotten many compliments about how enjoyable the experience was.

Doesn't fucking mean I ever censored myself.  I accidentally said "shit" during the ceremony when our officiant handed me over my vows I had written the week before (I think my exact words were, "shit I wrote this much???").

It's not like I'm out calling people fuckwits or cocksuckers or shitheads (or at least on these boards).  I still fucking know how to treat my guests. 

cambryn

beethery said:

Darling, you are certainly full of something.

I'm just bummed because I'd been really enjoying these boards until today. I find you all very funny and smart- and was beginning to rely on these boards as a bit of a wedding safe-haven- and now it's been a bit spoiled as I am being mocked- not my ideas- but me as a person. 

I explained myself pretty well a page or so back to another member- about where I stand on cursing and such and we resolved our differences well Feel free to read those to more understand.

Hope to have some resolve on here with the rest of you ladies, as I really am not enjoying this- and when you're stressed out like I am with so much stuff (wedding in 29 days and being the only wedding planner for 125+ people out on a ranch) little things like this just create a lot of anxiety.

I don't care if my ideas are mocked or people use cursing to express themselves. I do care when my very honesty is called into question, though. It niggles at me waaaay more than it should. (Yay anxiety disorder!)

So yeah- hope this gets a bit more positive. I don't know you ladies well, but I had enjoyed it on here until now.

beethery

cambryn said:

beethery said:

Darling, you are certainly full of something.

I'm just bummed because I'd been really enjoying these boards until today. I find you all very funny and smart- and was beginning to rely on these boards as a bit of a wedding safe-haven- and now it's been a bit spoiled as I am being mocked- not my ideas- but me as a person. 

I explained myself pretty well a page or so back to another member- about where I stand on cursing and such and we resolved our differences well Feel free to read those to more understand.

Hope to have some resolve on here with the rest of you ladies, as I really am not enjoying this- and when you're stressed out like I am with so much stuff (wedding in 29 days and being the only wedding planner for 125+ people out on a ranch) little things like this just create a lot of anxiety.

I don't care if my ideas are mocked or people use cursing to express themselves. I do care when my very honesty is called into question, though. It niggles at me waaaay more than it should. (Yay anxiety disorder!)

So yeah- hope this gets a bit more positive. I don't know you ladies well, but I had enjoyed it on here until now.

If you have an etiquette-unapproved idea, it will be called out as bad. If you could not figure out for SEVEN PAGES of this thread that cash registries are rude, you need to read it again.

I explained to you on a different page that people are going to use profanity if they feel like it, you're going to need to just get over it. If you want to post on a website with adult conversations, some of which include profanity, you will need to get past that.

There are plenty of brides on here that have less time left to their wedding and they are not using pre-wedding stress that as an excuse for promoting a cash registry on the etiquette board. If this is something that creates anxiety for you, you should have taken the hint from this seven page thread that 1. telling posters how to post goes over as well as farts in church, and 2. cash registries are just another fart in the proverbial church, you could have not posted comments with either of those things and nobody would have responses to your silence. Ya dig?

Furthermore:

Implying that you were 'full of something' was a joke. I did not say that you were full of shit, implying dishonesty. I did not say what you could be full of. Please hit the chill button, and for the love of god, it's a wedding board on the internet. It is not that damn serious.

abbyj700

@cambryn

Biggest thing to realize here is that people on the etiquette board are going to tell you about approved etiquette. They aren't going to tell you an idea is a good one on this board if it very specifically goes against proper etiquette. It's a pretty simple concept that is pretty black and white.

My wedding is in 17 days. I get the stress. I do. FI and I sat last night and had drinks, smoked and did our first pass on our seating chart. We're dealing with rude people not RSVPing, a cousin who left his fiance (who is a friend and is still invited on her own) who now wants to bring his new lady to the wedding (they were not a couple when invites were sent), ex-wives, new wives, family feuds- you name it! But it's not a reason for me to ask if it's okay to uninvite people, break up couples, B-list, etc -because that is rude and against etiquette. 

AddieCake

Oh, Cambryn. You just need to relax. Cake, margaritas, and sex are what I prescribe.