The singles' table.... is this really a thing??

jenijoyk

We have several singles coming to our wedding this week, and everyone is excited and emailing and talking about it.... and three separate guests have now asked us whether they will be stuck at an awkward "singles table." What?? This is a thing?? We have of course answered, "No, you're sitting with your friends/family/etc.!" And each of these three people then told us a horror story where they were recently at a wedding where the couple put them at a table with only other single people, none of whom they knew, and it was super awkward. Why would you ever do this to your friends!?

Is the thinking that they will hook up with each other and somehow make a love connection? Is it just that couples are evil and want to make their single friends feel as terrible as possible? Or is it just "I can't deal with odd numbers and still fill every single seat at every single table therefore you all get smooshed together in the back"??

I have never heard of this, or even seen it talked about on TK. But to have three separate people bring it up in the past few weeks totally surprised me! I hate head tables with a passion, but this might actually be worse. Mind --> Blown.

cowgirl8238

Wow I certainly hope this isn't "a thing"...although these days I wouldn't be surprised.  I just can't fathom any real excuse as to why this would happen.  Two singles that know each other would make a table even again, and who the hell even cares if a table has 9 people instead of 10????  I really hope others don't start doing this.

FTR, I had four singles who were sat amongst their own friends/families at different tables.

esstee33

jenijoyk said:

We have several singles coming to our wedding this week, and everyone is excited and emailing and talking about it.... and three separate guests have now asked us whether they will be stuck at an awkward "singles table." What?? This is a thing?? We have of course answered, "No, you're sitting with your friends/family/etc.!" And each of these three people then told us a horror story where they were recently at a wedding where the couple put them at a table with only other single people, none of whom they knew, and it was super awkward. Why would you ever do this to your friends!?

Is the thinking that they will hook up with each other and somehow make a love connection? Is it just that couples are evil and want to make their single friends feel as terrible as possible? Or is it just "I can't deal with odd numbers and still fill every single seat at every single table therefore you all get smooshed together in the back"??

I have never heard of this, or even seen it talked about on TK. But to have three separate people bring it up in the past few weeks totally surprised me! I hate head tables with a passion, but this might actually be worse. Mind --> Blown.

**SITB** 

Yeah, I've definitely never heard of this. I guess I can understand the line of thinking that leads to it, in wanting your single friends to maybe meet someone, but how awkward would that table be?!

Maggie0829

I have heard of it. It is such a gross idea. It is basically people who won't take the time to think out their seating chart and make sure that their friends are comfortable. Instead they think "oh I have 8 people who are single so I will just put them all at one table because they have something in common!"

[Deleted User]

The only time I have ever heard of this is in that Ben Stiller movie, The Heartbreak Kid. He ends up at a table at this wedding with a bunch of children because they are all singles.

But in real life...no.

Bubblegum5586

The only time I have seen this is at family weddings when there are a lot of cousins. It always seems to work out that there is a single table of cousins and a married table of cousins. But at least everyone knows each other!

holyguacamole79

This topic reminds me of this scene from the Wedding Singer

holyguacamole79

Oooooh, now that I think about it ... I HAVE been stuck at a "singles table".   It was a wedding for a college friend, and I knew NOBODY at that table.  So, I found a group of people that I knew and there was an empty seat because someone's husband got sick.  The bride later told me how disappointed she was that I didn't sit at the table because she thought I'd hit it off with one of her friends.   Oh well.

pinkcow13

I've heard of this. At the last wedding we attended, I figured out that there was a singles table. The difference was, that all of the singles knew each other, so it wasn't as bad as just throwing random single people together.

Cookie Pusher

I don't think we even had two single people sitting at the same table at our wedding! 

novella1186

I've heard of this, but I thought it died out back in the 90s. (I only ever heard of it back then). I think the bride and groom honestly believe they're doing the single people a favor because maybe they can make a connection and spend the reception together. But that's not gonna happen when you force them into a super awkward situation. Lurkers, just don't! It's not nice, and it's not fun, and it's kind of embarrassing. 

Jen4948

I've heard of this. Generally I've heard of it in situations where it's assumed, sometimes reasonably, that single people aren't going to want to sit at tables where everyone else is a couple because the couples will ignore the singles, and everyone will feel awkward. I've experienced that personally. But I don't agree that singles should be seated at "singles'" tables based on their relationship status either. The appropriate thing to do, IMO, is to place guests with people they will feel comfortable with while keepinrg couples seated together.

abbyj700

I love -the opposite is happening with us! Everyone is like "do you have any hot single friends coming to the wedding I don't know? Can you sit us at the same table?" 

And it's been both guys and girls. We're joking with one of FI's best friends that we're literally going to just plop him down at a table full of single good looking women and just him. :-) He would love it...and...NO! :-)

allispain

I've heard of this, but haven't seen it that I know of. We made sure to sit people at tables where they knew at least one other person/couple (though generally they knew most/all of the people at the table).

I've had the opposite happen to DH and I - at a wedding, we were sat with 3 other random couples. None of us knew each other, but we all knew other people at the wedding. I was bored as all get out - we had nothing in common except the fact that we were all married couples - and trust me, we tried to find things to talk about. It ended up being 4 separate couples talking for most of the reception. No fun.

falsara

I haven't actually heard of this other than in movies.  I thought it was a myth created by Hollywood.  Why don't you just sit the singles with their families or with people who they have other things in common with.  I don't care how single someone is, I will either sit them with thier family or with a group of people who have similar interests, like sports or careers. 

jenijoyk

 

sarahbear31 said:

This topic reminds me of this scene from the Wedding Singer

Hahahaha. Poor Table 9.

It seriously reminds me of a SATC episode that I'm pretty sure never was. But could have been. I am so glad I have never experienced this. And I'll try not to be offended our good friends would actually worry about us doing this to them!

Plus, if we had a singles table, it would be 8 single dudes and one single girl. I have a feeling she will be getting lucky Saturday night.... muahahaha. Even without me awkwardly seating her with 8 guys she's never met before while all our other girlfriends are across the reception.

thisismynickname2

Ugh.  We sat singles with people they knew, mostly couples. And gave all singles the opportunity to bring a date. 

Rather than the singles table, we had the "drinky tables" (aka the college friends, whom we sat closest to the bar) and the "conservative family table" but that was about it!  

I've also been sat at what I consider the "leftovers table"- come on, do your seating chart better than that, please. 

JaxInBlue

bubblegum1309 said:

The only time I have seen this is at family weddings when there are a lot of cousins. It always seems to work out that there is a single table of cousins and a married table of cousins. But at least everyone knows each other!

I'm guilty of this.  I have a bunch of first cousins on my dad's side who were old enough to not need or want parental supervision, but also not in serious relationships.  They wound up sitting at one table because that's just want worked the easiest and it met the criteria we were using for all the other tables - do they know each other? do they like each other? will they be able to sit together for the 45 minutes dinner will take?

So it was a singles table, but it was also a cousins table.  We also had a table that could have been called the old person table (all of my great aunts and uncles).

djfivenine

jenijoyk said:

 

sarahbear31 said:

This topic reminds me of this scene from the Wedding Singer

Hahahaha. Poor Table 9.

It seriously reminds me of a SATC episode that I'm pretty sure never was. But could have been. I am so glad I have never experienced this. And I'll try not to be offended our good friends would actually worry about us doing this to them!

Plus, if we had a singles table, it would be 8 single dudes and one single girl. I have a feeling she will be getting lucky Saturday night.... muahahaha. Even without me awkwardly seating her with 8 guys she's never met before while all our other girlfriends are across the reception.

Just so you know you're not crazy, I saw the episode on TV just the other day.  It's either season 1 or 2, and they all go to a wedding and they are stuck at one of two singles tables, and Carrie complains because their singles table is worse - like its the 4 of them, an old lady, and some gross looking dudes. (It's the one where Samantha meets "the Turtle" and tries to make him over!)

When we first got engaged, my husband was ADAMANT that there wouldn't be a "singles" table in our seating chart. He was stuck at one of those at the only wedding he had attended before we started dating, and he said it was awkward and miserable. 

raissyrais

I have heard of it too...in those American rom-coms mostly! Please don't do this to your guests, it'll be so awkward and painful for them. It's as bad as this whole "no ring, no bring" businesss where the FMIL said: "and who knows maybe you'll meet somebody else at the wedding!". Yuck.

theartistformerlyknownas

I've heard of it but haven't been subjected to it. Our singles were scattered around with couples they were friends with.

I had single guys ask me to sit them with the hot single girls too. Sorry dudes, no.

Wegl13

I was at the leftovers table- it was about half his school friends and half her dad's work friends. Not a lot in common but we had a ton of fun with inappropriate dinner conversations.

KatieinBkln

Maggie0829 said:

I have heard of it. It is such a gross idea. It is basically people who won't take the time to think out their seating chart and make sure that their friends are comfortable. Instead they think "oh I have 8 people who are single so I will just put them all at one table because they have something in common!"

Yes, their CRUSHING LONELINESS! 

(just kidding, clearly)

canadianhearts

I've only seen this in TV shows/movies. It sounds horrible. I wonder if people who have no tact are picking this up from the "Hollywood" idea of what a wedding should be like or if they just don't know how to plan a seating chart with some thought in regard to their guests' comfort.

crackktheskyy

thisismynickname said:

Ugh.  We sat singles with people they knew, mostly couples. And gave all singles the opportunity to bring a date. 

Rather than the singles table, we had the "drinky tables" (aka the college friends, whom we sat closest to the bar) and the "conservative family table" but that was about it!  

I've also been sat at what I consider the "leftovers table"- come on, do your seating chart better than that, please. 

Ugh, yes.

I have definitely been seated at a leftovers table. It was so awkward because it was the wedding of a sibling of a very dear friend. My dear friend was in the wedding party so I wasn't seated with her because they had a head table (without SOs, I might add.) Another mutual friend of ours was invited so her and I went to the ceremony together and hung out during the gap. 

When we headed over to the reception, we were shocked to see that we were broken up because we literally only knew each other and the wedding party. She got squeezed into a table with other couples and I was seated in the very back of the room with like 4 other people that I literally could not have had less in common with.

The mother of said friend was clearly mortified. She came up to me and asked if I would like to sit at the family table (which was so very gracious of her) but I declined and said that I was having a lovely time and that I would see her later on the dance floor!

But seriously, it was so awkward. I can't even imagine getting seated at a singles table. Ugh.

Aray82

Yep. This happened to me. And then the guy I sat next to, upon finding out that I had a masters in English lit, whipped out his phone and showed me a bunch of poems he'd written about his ex-girlfriend, which clearly he expected me to be impressed by. (He spelled "beautiful" with two l's btw.) If people want to talk to other singles...they don't need the seating chart's encouragement to do so. My cousin who was sitting several tables away from a cousin on the other side of the family ended up hooking up with him at the end of the night...have to keep reminding myself that even though they're both related to me, they're not actually related to each other. No matter how weirded out I was by it :P

plainjane0415

Is it weird that I have never been to a wedding that had a seating chart done, or placecards, or anything of the sort?  And I have been to A LOT of weddings.. since I have been reading here and learned about them, they really do make sense, but every wedding I have been to has been open seating.

speakeasy14

Right after college  I was stuck at a singles table.  It was incredibly awkward because no one knew each other and there was a HUGE age range.  In other words, I was 22 and single, and there was a 17 year old, and then a few people in their 30s-40s, and then a bunch of retired people.  It was like, oh you're not bringing a date, sit in the corner with the other rejects.  

I felt more uncomfortable for the 17 year old... clearly the kid was family and should have been with family.  I ended up moving to another table because friends had extra space and brought the 17 year old with me so she didn't feel so left out. 

slothiegal

Aray82 said:

Yep. This happened to me. And then the guy I sat next to, upon finding out that I had a masters in English lit, whipped out his phone and showed me a bunch of poems he'd written about his ex-girlfriend, which clearly he expected me to be impressed by. (He spelled "beautiful" with two l's btw.) If people want to talk to other singles...they don't need the seating chart's encouragement to do so. My cousin who was sitting several tables away from a cousin on the other side of the family ended up hooking up with him at the end of the night...have to keep reminding myself that even though they're both related to me, they're not actually related to each other. No matter how weirded out I was by it :P

Ha my cousin ended up hooking up with H's cousin at our wedding.  I had to remind myself the same thing.

simcal18

JaxInBlue said:

bubblegum1309 said:

The only time I have seen this is at family weddings when there are a lot of cousins. It always seems to work out that there is a single table of cousins and a married table of cousins. But at least everyone knows each other!

I'm guilty of this.  I have a bunch of first cousins on my dad's side who were old enough to not need or want parental supervision, but also not in serious relationships.  They wound up sitting at one table because that's just want worked the easiest and it met the criteria we were using for all the other tables - do they know each other? do they like each other? will they be able to sit together for the 45 minutes dinner will take?

So it was a singles table, but it was also a cousins table.  We also had a table that could have been called the old person table (all of my great aunts and uncles).

I don't think this qualifies as a singles table if they all knew each other and were in the same "circle"--sounds totally appropriate to me.  We're definitely avoiding a singles table, but 2 of my cousin's girls are 18 and 19, and I'm tempted to put them with FI's 18-22 year old cousins.  Nobody else on my side of the family is close to their age range (they have 10 and 13 year old sisters, an 11 year old cousin, and everyone else there they know will be 30+), and I feel like they would have more fun sitting with people their own age than with their parents and little sister/cousin.  Is that a total faux pas?

lovesclimbing

slothiegal said:

Aray82 said:

Yep. This happened to me. And then the guy I sat next to, upon finding out that I had a masters in English lit, whipped out his phone and showed me a bunch of poems he'd written about his ex-girlfriend, which clearly he expected me to be impressed by. (He spelled "beautiful" with two l's btw.) If people want to talk to other singles...they don't need the seating chart's encouragement to do so. My cousin who was sitting several tables away from a cousin on the other side of the family ended up hooking up with him at the end of the night...have to keep reminding myself that even though they're both related to me, they're not actually related to each other. No matter how weirded out I was by it :P

Ha my cousin ended up hooking up with H's cousin at our wedding.  I had to remind myself the same thing.

Haha, my sister did that exact thing!  Minus the hooking up part.  So basically my sister and this other guy had mutual cousins. Families have always been friends and my sister and the guy started to like each, dated and then got married.

It does take some explaining and reminding of people "No, it's not incest."  Because our families were so close, growing up we called this guy's parents aunt and uncle.  It was weird to explain it to people.