Wedding 911

Guest and their extracurricular activites

So my fiance and I recently went to a friend's wedding and he caught the groom in the bathroom doing some extracurricular activities. He wasn't really hiding what he was doing and went on like it was normal.  We are nervous about inviting them to our wedding, at the risk of them taking drugs at our wedding. Its none of my business what they do on their own time. However, if the grrom would do it out in the open at his own wedding, why wouldn't he do it at ours? I went to college went his wife but we are not super close but still get together for events etc. What should i do? Should we invite them?

Re: Guest and their extracurricular activites

  • Yeah if you aren't down with that lifestyle, I would not invite them.  But uh...sounds like they might have a problem? 






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  • (When I read this: So my fiance and I recently went to a friend's wedding and he caught the groom in the bathroom doing some extracurricular activities. He wasn't really hiding what he was doing and went on like it was normal.  We are nervous about inviting them to our wedding, I thought you'd walked in on him spanking the monkey, until I got to the next sentence. )
    LMBO Me too!
    CMGragain[Deleted User]ohannabelle
  • I know a couple who participates in what they call "extracurriculars." For them at least, it is most definitely not a reference to anything that is legal in any state. They are not invited to the wedding!




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  • When I hear drugs and bathroom, my mind goes straight to cocaine. My guess is that's what the OP is referring to.
    bahamabride2015levioosahuskypuppy14
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    When I hear drugs and bathroom, my mind goes straight to cocaine. My guess is that's what the OP is referring to.
    Yup, that's what I'm thinking. 

    OP, if you don't approve of that or want it around at your wedding, I think you're perfectly fine to not invite this couple. I would imagine too that if he'd do it at his own wedding, he'd probably do it at someone else's. 

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I may have a slightly different take on this. I think whether or not you invite them depends on the degree to which you are friends and the degree to which you oppose the use of the drug in question or drugs in general. And even the degree to which the drugs are abused. 
    There were two guests, one a very good friend and one an uncle, that we were aware partake in illegal drugs. However, in all the time spent with these folks, we've never seen it actually happen nor thought they behaved destructively (any differently than someone who was just drunk).  I was worried about it for the wedding (what if a venue employee caught them!!) but there was no question of not inviting them.
    Excessive drinking is far more common in our crowd than drugs. We didn't have a single issue. I think these people know better than to do it at weddings, you know? However, that was my situation-- I can't speak for yours.   
    ________________________________


  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    H and I invited a number of friends who smoke pot from time to time but none of them lit up at our wedding because 1) it is illegal where we live so they only smoke in their own homes, 2) they would definitely have been caught and 3) (and most importantly) they were being respectful of us and our wedding day and didn't want to do anything that would cause a scene.

    Now if the guy in your OP openly partook in illegal activities at his own wedding I think it is safe to say that he will do it at yours and not think twice.

  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    For me it would depend on what drug it was. But if you're not close anyway, fuck it and don't invite.
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    Anniversary
  • If you are not a drug user and they clearly are, with no qualms about their actions in public, I would think that is more than enough reason to not invite them.

    I had a friend light up at our after party. This upset me because it is illegal in our state and I have several family members who it would affect their job if they were around it. She will never get an invite to anything that I throw again.

  • That'll teach that damned degenerate.
    slothiegalclimbingwife
  • If you have a big issue with whatever the activity was - why are you still friends with them?

    tammym1001
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    All I can think of is that Robert California quote from The Office, "Last night I got into a case of Australian reds, and....how do I put this...Colombian whites."  

    If you're not super close, don't invite the couple.  Simple.  


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    climbingwifealpacalunch
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    We have "friends" that have a ton of extracurricular activities that just make us shake our heads. I'm using the term friends loosely because we end up spending time with them because they are in our circle of friends. We didn't invite them to our wedding. Didn't feel bad about it either. 
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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    chibiyui said:
    For me it would depend on what drug it was. But if you're not close anyway, fuck it and don't invite.
    I agree. If someone's doing a rail off the sink at their own wedding... yeeeeaaahhhh I don't need that at my party.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    It sounds like you're not close enough to these people to say "hey, guys, we love you and all, but please leave the Ke$ha/8-balls/whatever at home tonight so my grandfather doesn't walk in and have a heart attack," and in my opinion that means they're not close enough friends to worry about not inviting.

    I don't really care what my friends are into this week, frankly, but a request to leave the illegal stuff at home when you have a good reason to expect they wouldn't otherwise doesn't seem unreasonable. It's not like asking people to leave their cell phones or jeans at home or whatever, haha.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I wouldn't invite them. I agree with PPs that you don't sound close to them, it sounds like coke to me (please come back and clarify), and that he will likely do it at your wedding.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • If you aren't comfortable with it I wouldn't invite them.


    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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  • I see people taking drugs, and serve people who are obviously under the influence of drugs (amphetamines) a lot at the weddings I work at. It's a shame, but it's just something people do I guess. I doubt he'd be doing drugs on his own - if you can pretty much guarantee that no one else at your wedding would be putting anything up their noses, I doubt he'd go out of his way to bring and use drugs on his own. It's weird not to invite someone because of this, especially if they're a good friend.  
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I see people taking drugs, and serve people who are obviously under the influence of drugs (amphetamines) a lot at the weddings I work at. It's a shame, but it's just something people do I guess. I doubt he'd be doing drugs on his own - if you can pretty much guarantee that no one else at your wedding would be putting anything up their noses, I doubt he'd go out of his way to bring and use drugs on his own. It's weird not to invite someone because of this, especially if they're a good friend.  
    This doesn't make any sense.

    From what it sounds like, the guy was doing lines at his wedding. It is totally ok to not want that kind of shit at your wedding and therefore not invite him.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    lurkergirllevioosaAddieCake
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I see people taking drugs, and serve people who are obviously under the influence of drugs (amphetamines) a lot at the weddings I work at. It's a shame, but it's just something people do I guess. I doubt he'd be doing drugs on his own - if you can pretty much guarantee that no one else at your wedding would be putting anything up their noses, I doubt he'd go out of his way to bring and use drugs on his own. It's weird not to invite someone because of this, especially if they're a good friend.  

    Are YOU doing drugs right now? Because yeah, this makes no sense.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    banana468
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    AddieCake said:
    I see people taking drugs, and serve people who are obviously under the influence of drugs (amphetamines) a lot at the weddings I work at. It's a shame, but it's just something people do I guess. I doubt he'd be doing drugs on his own - if you can pretty much guarantee that no one else at your wedding would be putting anything up their noses, I doubt he'd go out of his way to bring and use drugs on his own. It's weird not to invite someone because of this, especially if they're a good friend.  

    Are YOU doing drugs right now? Because yeah, this makes no sense.
    Anything's possible.

    My favorite line is the bolded. Nobody brings their own drugs to a party!!! (Except when they do, right?)
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    AddieCakeNYCMercedesplainjane0415
  • alpacalunchalpacalunch Toronto member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Sounds like he'd be fun to party with, but in a far less expensive dress than I plan on wearing to my own wedding. If you aren't super close, you've no reason to feel obliged to invite them. I wouldn't.
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